Milagros and I approach a sculpture of Mary near the church doorway. I try to light a candle with an old set of matches at the foot of the sculpture. I bow in reverence and kiss her feet. Milagros mimics my behavior without truly understanding the reasoning behind it. She is so innocent. It saddens me to think that one day the innocence of the world around her will collapse.. We sit at one of pews furthest from the altars.
"Papi."
"Yes?" I whisper back to Milagros
"Why do we always sit so far from the priest?"
"You think I'm trying to stay way from the priest?"
"There is hardly anyone here. Why can't we sit closer?" She grumbles.
"Because I like to get a good view of all that is holy."
"Papi!" Milagros scowls at me.
"Shh. It's time to listen," I immediately cut her off. I try to fake seriousness but it fails completely.
She finally gives up with her rounds of questioning and we listen to the sermon. One of the nuns sits in the pew behind us.
...
"You know, you can sit closer. Much closer. Father John will not bite."
Startled, I turn.
"Sister Romina!" Milagros squeals in this sacred place. I smile at her enthusiasm as Sister Romina purses her lips.
"Hola, hermana. You startled me."
"As if I could startle you. After years serving as a peacekeeper," Romina says as she edges closer to us from her seat.
"You're not very light on your feet."
"Excuse me?" Sister Romina can be easily provoked. I like to have fun with her. She is definitely my junior. Milagros giggles.
"Your shoes must be very heavy and hard on your dainty feet." I continue with my smug chatter.
"You know that I am not wearing shoes! God forbid you say that I am heavy. And… heaven… help you if you do!" As I said, Romina just needs a gentle nudge and she's ready to explode.
"I'm sorry, Romina. I was just…joking."
"When were you a peacekeeper?" There goes Milagros again with her stopping the conversation between two people to add her curiosity to the mix. Milagros also has a way of picking up on certain details in a conversation. She focuses on them minutes later, after the conversation has already passed. In this case, she helps me distract Romina before I get on the receiving end of a paddle or ruler.
"I just served the people. I was never anything official. No star on my chest."
"Like a sheriff?" Milagros perks up.
"No, mija. I was never a sheriff. I only helped people in the town and provided protection when needed."
"With a gun, Papi?" Milagros asks timidly. I can barely make out her voice. She knows how I feel about guns.
"Your father had a code of honor,"says Romina, adding another queue of questions from Milagros. I'm glad I was able to maneuver out of the tongue lashing, even if its only for a bit of time.
"It wasn't much of a code. I simply didn't want to kill anyone." My mind strains a bit as I continue, "sometimes, people commit crimes out of necessity. Such as those starving with no food or money of their own."
"Which is why we have the food bank, Papi? For those unfortunate souls?" Milagros is beginning to sound like Romina. Perhaps she's mocking her?
"Its not an easy fix. Let's put it this way, hypothetical, of course. A very fortunate family lives on three meals a day and a modest home. Their income is small but well enough to provide them with all the necessities. The family grows by one more family member. With a new mouth to feed, the small and comfortable income begins to stretch. Suddenly, one of the children is injured. They need medication for a chronic illness that no known science or herb can cure. The Commandante…I mean the government requires extra taxes from the community. All to help in funding for new military and construction of the presidio. You see, according to the government, indigenous bandits are thieves and rapists. They have hit the community hard and the people are in need of protection. Perhaps, the family's home needs to be rebuilt elsewhere to allow for new road construction.
"These are a lot of hypotheticals, Señor," Romina says as she reenters the conversation.
"The thing is, any one of those events can cripple an already struggling family.
But in our town, even in our neighboring towns, those types of things are a common happenstance. People struggle. And they fight to stay afloat. Sometimes life is just too hard and there is no other way for them to find the help or resources they need. So they abandon their civilized ways. Many of these people are looking for a way to support and protect their loved ones. The indigenous people crawl on their bellies through the desert wastelands. They toil with small children in tow. All for the hope of some help in a neighboring community. Some will send children with strangers just for a chance of daily meal and a roof over their heads.
Romina pauses. "It's very heartbreaking, but your father speaks the truth, Milagros.
We have an orphanage established here, with the church. We have little money but our community has helped. We would be struggling if not for the Doñations of food, water, clothes and volunteer services.
"Like I said I can't take a life not knowing what is happening beyond a person's own two eyes.
I can't read the thoughts and intentions of others. Life is too precious." I feel myself sigh.
"Everyone that is alive deserves to be alive. And everyone deserves peace and love in their lifetime."
"No matter the criminal," Milagros nods.
"No matter the criminal," I nod back.
Sister Romina fixes her eyes on me. Her stance shifts slightly with her feet pointing in my direction. She tilts her head and smiles.
"So, how would you stop people or protect them, Papi?"
I turn and redirect myself towards Milagros. "I had my ways, mi amor."
...