"ar me? Hey Jen, can you hear me, baby?" A worried voice entered my ears which sounded so much like Deren when he was still a sunny boy.
But, I must be dreaming, right? And moreover, do the deaths even dream?
Still, this voice did something to my dead heart and I missed his sunny side so much.
Since, the day I confessed my love for that guy, Deren changed a lot with time. And that was all because of me.
I was obsessive of that guy and to win his heart I did many shrewed things. And Deren... who loved me to no limits, became obsessive with coming up with shrewed plans so that he could witness his loved one (which is me) to get together with my happiness.
Yet nothing worked. But, Deren's mental condition worsened. All the time, he would murmur, "What? This plan failed to? No! It can't be! No! I need to design a more flawless plan. Yes, I need to."
And even when I asked him to stop, he didn't.
I didn't notice his deteriorating condition at first, and neither do our friends. Deren was an orphan, living alone and working part-time jobs to affort his college and rented-home-staying finance, so no one got hold of his worsening health.
It was only one day when the owner of his rented house called in my emergency number as I was his girlfriend (actually "a friend with benefits" in private) in the owner's eyes and informed me, he was acting strange.
Later, did I discover, Deren skipped his part-time jobs along with his classes.
I felt so guilty. And each time I looked at him, I remembered what a sin I commited to get taboo love and making Deren join me in my taboo plan.
Just by remembering this I want to kill myself. And if I can instead of falling from the roof accidentally in my own house, I prefer to get a tortured life so that I can remind myself what a sinner, a criminal I am.
"Jen, Jen.... Hey?"
Ah! Again that voice. How sweet! I wish to hear this voice so much instead of those horrible murmurs of 'plan, plan, plan'.
Someone patted on my cheeks, and it felt so real. What... What is it?
Can I even feel after I am dead?
My eyes slowly opened and as my blurry vision got cleared, my eyes widened.
In front of me, I came face to face with the face that I was dying to see. The pair of brown eyes and mole at the corner of the left eye. The perfectly drawn eyebrows and a small forehead. A perfectly sharp and small nose. And that attractive and lively dark pink lips.
Worry was dripping from the face in front of me. And suddenly, I had this deep urge to immediately take that lively and no-more-pale lips in mine to taste... to savour... to feel it.
And so I did.
My hand automatically brought the face closer and took his lips in mine. I felt him stiffen and then started to devour my lips just like I was doing his.
I kissed him like I'm dying and he's my only solution to live, even though I'm already dead. And I was shocked to see, Deren was kissing me back with same intensity.
After sometime, we broke the kiss as we planted our foreheads on each other. Surprisingly, I was gasping for air.
This... This felt so real... As if Deren is just here... with me.
Wait! With me?
My eyes widened as I broke our forehead to forehead kiss and carefully looked at the person opposite to me who looked at me with a questioning look.
I gulped as I slowly touched his face with my hands and then poked his cheeks.
D*mn! It truly felt real.
So, I pinched the cheeks with the same fingers I used to poke him.
"Ahh! Ahh! Ouch! Jen, what are you doing? It hurts!" THE DEREN opposite me screamed as he broke free from my clutches and rubbed the place I pinched.
And then the sudden realization hit me as I held his cheeks in my hands while his hand got sandwiched in my hands and his face.
"De-Deren... Am so sorry!" I said as tears started to pool in my eyes. Tragic, as a ghost I'm crying!
"Yes, you should be," came a short reply as Deren's lips turned into a pout, "And you should be responsible for it."
"Yes, Yes, I will be. I'll make up everything to you. I'm so sorry. You died because of me. If only you have never met me. Oh Deren, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Deren, I didn't want this to happen either. I-"
"What the f*ck are you saying? Who died?" Deren asked in utter horror as he freed his hand from mine and grabbed me by my shoulders, "Are you out of your mind?"
Oh sh*t! Does that mean Deren don't know that he died? Oh my! How tragic! Did his mental health worsened so much that he didn't notice he was dying?!
"It's okay, Deren. I understand. You know what? I died too. So, Both of us are dead now. We can keep each other company and, we will always stay together. And It'll be-"
"The f*ck is wrong with you? We're Alive! Are you still dreaming... no... nightmaring?!! Come out of your nightmare! Come out! Come out! And look around you," Deren shook me a little (dangerously) and turned my head upside-down and then right-left.
"See, you're in my apartment. Last night, you came knocking at my door at 11pm and drank three bottles of beer and crashed here on my bed. Do you remember now? Do you? Then, In the morning, you started to make weird noises and even kicked me from my own bed. It was so hard to wake you up. Are you fully awake now?! Huh?! If not, I think I'm in dire need of calling mental hospital!" Deren practically screamed on my face and it was so loud that I heard 'buzz-buzz' sound in my head.
"Jennn! No! Jenniferrrrrrrr! Did you come out of your NIGHTMARE? Stop blacking out and answer me," Deren continued to scream.
And it was hurting my head so much!
The f*ck is wrong with him. How did he turn into a screaming crow?!
Even if it's hard for him to believe that he's dead and he wanted to deny the truth, it's okay. He will slowly understand. But what's with this screaming?!
Even if I'm a ghost now, It's hurting my dead ears.
So, at last I did what I needed to do. I grabbed him by his nape and sealed his mouth with mine.