I slowly opened my eyes. Ray of sunshine was peeping in from the window blinds. I gave out a morning yawn and a stretch.
Napalingon ako sa katabi ko. He was still in deep sleep. I can't help but smiled. This is the first time we literally just slept in through the night. And this is the first time na magising ako na katabi ko siya in my very own bed. It was usually, we stayed late night together but he will leave just past midnight para umuwi sa asawa niya. I guess, our relationship have grown extra steps and be more than just lusting over each other.
He had no shirt on but he's wearing pajamas underneath. Nagulat akong malaman that he had clothes in my place last night. Hindi ko alam na naglagay na pala ito ng sariling gamit sa cabinet ko. When he decided to stay for the night, I was surprised when he pulled out a luggage on my cabinet. When he opened it, tumambad sakin a pile of his clothes, sleepwears and underwears.
"What the heck?! Ano ibig sabihin niyan? Kailan mo yan dinala dito?" I asked somewhat laughingly surprised.
"We are sleeping together. This is my go to luggage. Niready ko na," he simply explained.
"That is my luggage bag. Kailan mo pa plinano 'to?" He probably took my luggage bag placed some stuff in it and put it back on my closet.
Tila nag-isip pa siya. "A couple of days ago. I planned to arranged my stuff sana before pero nabanggit mo sakin na darating boyfriend mo, so hindi ko muna inayos. Baka makita niya and it won't be a pretty picture for you."
"So you used my luggage and then think na hindi niya yan bubulatlatin?" Ani ko in disbelief sa taba ng utak niya.
"I am hopeful but incase makita pa rin niya atleast it will be easier for you to come up with an excuse. As you can see, my stuff are all brand new. I just brought this recently."
"And you're planning to live with me kaya nagdala ka na ng gamit mo dito?"
"Not that actually. Tamang ready lang incase I have to stay here the whole night. Like now. Besides, I don't think you have clothes that would fit me. Unless you want me naked the whole night," he winked as he teased.
"You are actually envading my space. First you just come here as you pleased, you changed the locks and now you brought your own stuff here. What's next then?"
I said sarcastically.
He stood up. Walk towards me. Throw in a hug and gave me a smack on my lips.
"I will envade your life. So brace yourself," he said seductively.
Napalingon ako sa orasan. It's quarter past seven. Hindi ba ito papasok? I slowly tap him to wake up. He slightly whimper.
"It's seven AM. Aren't you going to work?" I whisper.
He strecth a little and pulled me closer to him. "You are still on leave, right? I'll call in emergency leave."
I had my 2 weeks leave filed on plan supposedly for a time together with my boyfriend. But since he didn't came, I plan to still consume the leave for supposedly my alone time.
"For what reason?" tanong ko.
"For personal matters," he said. "Hey, I just had my heart broken last night. I need time for healing."
Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. It maybe tragic but somewhat our relationship is our escape goat para sa mga masasakit na reality.
"But you can't stay here forever..." I said.
"...yet," dugtong niya. "Ah, yeah I won't stay here forever. I'll buy as a new place. Mas malaki. This place is for singles. Hindi ka naman single," he added.
"I don't want bigger space. Masaya na ko sa madaling imaintain na lugar," I said.
He rolled over and pulled me making me on top of him.
"Ang KJ mo naman. It would be nice to have a bigger space para hindi lang sa kama and couch tayo naglolove making," he declared.
Nahampas ko siya. He was really naughty. He just smiled at it. Napahilig ako sa dibdin niya. Somehow, what we have is comforting. Originally, what we have maybe wrong but it just feels so right. We stayed that way for a couple of minutes. I silently listen to his soft calm heartbeat while he slowly caress my hair.
"Tell me honestly," he said breaking our silence. Napaangat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. He looked down at me. "Are you atleast happy?"
Napangiti ako. Trying to figure out what I truly feel towards him. Medyo mahirap sagutin ang tanong na yan but if I'm being honest...
"For this, yes. But still I am worried. Secrets doesn't stay secret forever. And with your relationship in line at this time, I am worried that this will be a messy battle for me too. You know what I mean?"
He pulled me into a tighter hug as if trying to comfort me that it'll gonna be ok.
"I'm so sorry for whatevers gonna happen. But rest assured that I will be there for you. And I'll do so much as to the extent of more than I can to make this right, I swear," He swore. That's tough.
"That's how much you loved me?" I asked.
"Kulang pa ba?"
My smile widens. Gumalaw ako and umangat sa pagkakayakap sa kaniya. I halfly stood up but looked at him.
"Then, let me begin," I said. "I am now declaring my love for you," I saw his face lighten up bahagya pa siyang napaangat sa pagkakahiga. But I stopped him.
"I still have doubts, bear that in mind. But I will break up with my boyfriend. Isusugal ko na ang puso ko sayo kung sasaktan mo ko, then probably I'll accept it. But I have to let myself go. Sabi mo, you cannot love someone the same way at the same time, thus it's you now that I love," deklara ko.
His smile widens. He's looking at me as if waiting to say that this is all a joke. But I am too serious to tell that I do love him.
Sa totoo lang, I did loved him from the very beginning. That's why hindi ako kumokontra sa mga gusto niyang gawin. But since I can't have him fully, I had to held back my feelings. Kahit pa ilang beses niyang sabihin sakin that he's choosing me, still natatakot akong masaktan. Baka magkamali ako.
But I am tired of hesitating. Ang hirap pigilin ang sarili. So kahit I still have to be kept in the closet, I need to let out my feelings. I don't want to hold back anymore.
"Are you sure about this?" He said as if disbelieving.
"I'll wait for you if that's what you meant."
He gave me a huge kiss. I feel he's gladness. "You made me so happy," he said after the kiss full of enthusiasm. "You are now solely, actually mine alone. Hindi mo alam kung gano kahirap sakin tanggapin na may kahati pa ko sayo. So atleast ngayon, may karapatan na kong pigilan kang sagutin ang tawag niya."
"Wag kang excited. I still need to talk to him."
"You can text him now."
"That's disrespectful! And don't you dare do that to me!" Banta ko sa kaniya
"Kakaumpisa lang natin, break up na agad iniisip mo sakin? Sobrang paranoid mo naman ata," he said pouting.
"I told you I am worried," amin ko.
"Shhhh... don't say or think that. I may be complicated at this time, but I will fix it sooner. Now, I have the reason to do it fast," he said now hugging me again. Napahiga kami ulit.
Napangiwi na lang ako. I really don't know how things will be fixed at this time. For sure, this is definitely will be too much drama and too much struggle. And I am really not sure if kakayanin kong harapin yun. But then, I wanted to still try if this will work.
"Do you want to have breakfast?" I asked him.
"Paghahandaan mo ko?" He asked smiling.
I moved slowly on top of him with a teasing smile. And lifted my top shirt as I sit on top of his manlyhood. "How about me for breakfast? D'yah want this?" I asked with naked top. I slowly grind my lower body making his manlyhood excited.
"Best breakfast ever..." he said as he put his arms folded above his head and watched me entice him more. I did gave him the best breakfast ever that lasted until noon.