I wake up to the heavenly smell of coffee.
I open my eyes and enjoy the few oblivious seconds of the day, when you have no idea what today had in storage for you.
No worries yet.
Just sweet oblivion.
But about twenty seconds later I remember why I'm here and everything that went down yesterday.
As soon as my thoughts move forward to Aiden I feel like there's no air again.
Like I'm suffocating.
I know I have to talk to him.
But I don't want to.
I don't wanna be a big girl.
I don't wanna be mature.
I just wanna be alone and and pity myself with some food.
I don't want to think about anything.
I have to go check on mom.
I hope Theo is okay.
I still have to make up my mind about yesterday.
Even though I don't want to, I have to face Aiden.
I have to work today.
Oh and then there's also school. I'm totally forgetting about school.
Fuck man. I have to keep my grades up.
I let out a loaded sigh and get up from the couch.
My back hurts a bit, it's not the most comfortable couch, but I'm still thankful Callan let me sleep here.
I turn on my phone and get bombarded with messages and missed calls.
Even though I'm scared I open our group chat.
Theo: Azzie???
Theo: Please answer!
Ur favorite: Love?!
Ur favorite: Please tell us you're okay?
Theo: Don't speak for me jerk!!!
Theo: Azzie? Where r u??????
I roll my eyes at Aidens name. He changes it all the time.
I look at the messages again. They're from about ten minutes later.
Ur favorite: That's it! Tell me where u r rn!
Theo: Don't write to her like that!
Theo: no but seriously Az, I'm getting really worried here!!!!!!
Ur favorite: Call me this instant Azalea.
I scoff and turn my phone off again.
Call me this instant? Who the fuck does he think he is?
Someone important to me?
Someone I really really like?
Someone I care about? And someone I thought also cared about me?
All that would be correct and I hate myself for it.
"Morning." I hear a voice mutter from the kitchen, I startle and look up.
"Oh morning." I smile sleepily "how long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to be sure that you definitely need some coffee." He says and hands me a cup.
I sigh as I take the first sip.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
I know he wants to say more, even though he normally isn't one to speak much, so I nod in encouragement.
"What are you gonna do now?"
"Did I tell you what happened?" I ask confused. I thought I didn't tell him anything?
"No but since you've been sleeping on my couch, after you arrived at the Café on a Friday evening looking like shit, I know something is up."
I stare at him. This is the longest sentence he ever said to me I think.
I shake myself out of it and nod.
And I ignore his comment about me looking like shit. I mean it's true, but I still don't wanna hear it.
"Yeah, some things really went down yesterday. And no offense but I'd rather not talk about it now. Maybe-"
I don't get to finish my sentence because the door to Callans flat crashes open forcefully.
Callan quickly steps in front of me.
"Where is she?!" I immediately recognize the voice.
And I kick box my heart in my head for fluttering.
And then I slap and strangle my belly for having butterflies.
"What in the ever loving hell are you doing?" Callan asks calmly.
"Azalea? Love? Is that you?"
I look around Callans big shoulders and spot Aiden, looking completely exhausted, upset and he's breathing heavily.
He doesn't wait for my answer, he shoves Callan away and takes me in his arms, pressing me against himself.
"I'm so sorry. So damn sorry. This is all my fault. I was so worried. You don't even- Az?"
He immediately pulls away when he notices I'm stiff and not hugging him back.
I hope it's not obvious how damn much restraint that cost me.
I just wanna sink into his arms, his warmth, forget about anything and feel safe.
But I can't.
"I- I'm sorry."
Callan leaves without a word to give us room to talk.
I can't look Aiden in the eye.
"I-" I sigh "I don't know what you want me to say."
"Please look at me. I can't stand you being too disgusted by me to look at me. I feel like fucking shit Az."
I take a deep breath through my nose and look up at him.
I silently gasp at the obvious pain in his eyes.
No no no.
I'm the one who was being hurt.
Like always.
I won't feel sorry for him.
"Can we please talk? Only for five minutes? After that you can tell me to fuck off and I'll leave you alone instantly okay? Please, just five minutes."
I sigh and nod, because of course he can talk to me.
It wouldn't be fair to him, to not let him explain just because of my own issues.
He lets out a shaky breath and takes a seat on the couch.
I don't sit down though.
I lean my hip against the table and cross my arms, to not look like I feel right now.
Like I just wanna bury my head in his chest.
I stay quiet and wait for him to begin.
"I- fuck I don't know what to say. I can just tell you how I feel right now. I'm so fucking sorry Az. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you okay? I-" he pauses "really like you. And even though it was only one day I can't stand being apart from you.
You're like, fuck if I know, you're like my oxygen okay? I need you. To breathe, to live, to function.
And I really hope you'll let me make it up to you because I don't know what to do without you."
I fight hard to keep the tears at bay and my voice shakes a bit as I speak. "Hold on a minute. I really don't want to but I have to ask you. What was that yesterday? Why- ugh I don't know. Why weren't you pulling away Aiden?"
"Did you leave immediately after?"
I'm a bit embarrassed about it but I'm honest and nod.
"Azalea I swear on everything that's worth something to me I pulled away the second I realized what happened. And I made it absolutely clear that I don't ever want her to touch me again. You're-" he takes another deep breath and I watch him "you're the only one I want to be touched by. I threatened to get her father fired if she didn't leave me alone. And I will, I promise you. But I was too worried yesterday. I'm so glad you're okay."
I try to process this all.
I still.
Then I fucking hate myself even more.
How can I be such an inconsiderate disgusting human being?
I didn't even think about the possibility of Aiden not wanting Katie to kiss him.
She basically assaulted him and here I am blaming him for everything.
Because of my own issues.
My own fucking insecurities.
Now that I'm not in the heat of the moment, I can actually think about it.
And he's right. I practically ran away the second the little bitch touched him.
I don't know what he did after.
Oh Aiden.
Aiden Aiden Aiden.
My Aiden.
"I'm sorry." I whisper.
"What? No no no, don't. I know it's my fault-" I cut him off by squeezing him tight.
I put my arms around him, bury my face in his chest and almost cry of relief.
How could it have only been a day.
I feels like I've been missing him for eternity.
I breathe in his scent and I feel so safe.
He puts his arms tightly around me and kisses the crown of my head.
"I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I missed you Az."
"Lux mea." He whispers and one tear falls.
Why is it that I'm crying all the time?
I've never been a crier!
Ugh!
He gently takes my chin in his hand and makes me look at him.
"Are you okay?" I question him.
His brows furrow. "Me? Are you okay! I'm the asshole-" I put my finger on his mouth.
"I've acted stupid Aiden. And I'm sorry for that. What happened just hit a sore spot."
"But-"
"Let's not blame ourselves anymore okay?" He nods and pulls me into him again.
He nuzzles my neck and I giggle when it tickles.
"You're my everything Az." He whispers just as the door creaks open.
Aiden cringes at the sound.
He looks at Callan apologetically "I'm sorry bro. I'll have that fixed by tomorrow okay."
"It's fine. I'm glad y'all are on good terms again." He looks at Aiden, "you write annoying as fuck messages every two seconds and you," he looks at me, "are a terrible roommate."
I look at him offended.
"You snore." He deadpans.
I gasp "excuse me? I so do not! How would you even be able to hear it? You're door was closed." I raise a brow.
"Exactly, my door was closed and I still heard you snoring."
I scoff and flip him off.
I take Aidens hand and walk downstairs. He hesitates for a second, but then he grips my hand tightly and follows.
It's very practical that Callan lives right above the Café, well it is for him.
And for me, today morning at least.
I ask Callan if it's okay to start my shift earlier, and he's okay with it so I immediately get to work.
I tell Aiden it's okay for him to leave and do something else, but he insists on staying.
So he's ordering a new coffee every hour coupled with either a muffin or something hearty. A sandwich for example.
I can't hide my grin as I'm watching him eat his muffin in the corner of the Café.
He notices me watching and winks.
I quickly return to work and guilt overcomes me again.
Aiden made it clear that I shouldn't blame myself for anything.
And I don't. Katie is the asshole here.
I know it was only one night, but I still feel bad how I treated Aiden.
I know I have my problems.
I often act hotheaded in the heat of the moment.
Which never turns out good.
I'm gonna have to have a serious talk with Aiden. I want him to know why I've reacted the way I did.
He knows what Liam did to me to an extent. But it's not even the half of it.
I also have to talk to both Theo and Aiden about what I found out yesterday.
And I have to message Mister Torres.
Not that I'm thinking about what I should say.
He said I didn't have a choice but he can fuck right off if he thinks I'm just gonna leave Aiden.
And only twenty thousand? That's insulting!
But I wouldn't do it for all the money in the world.
~
The shift is over pretty fast. I love when the Café is full.
There's so much to do, I just work work work and bam, shift is over.
~
I thanked Callan again per text because he had to take care of something and had to leave.
I'm currently trying to breathe, while Theo is squeezing the living shit out of me.
He is stronger than he looks.
He has the body of an athlete. But the strength of a fucking boxer or something.
"Theo! I can't breathe." I choke out.
His hold immediately loosens. He leans back a bit and looks me in the eye.
"Don't ever do this again okay?" His gaze narrows and I nod.
He kisses me on the cheek one last time and lets go of me.
While Theo was squeezing me to death, Aiden made us some snacks.
I love that he's been doing our snacks and food all by himself lately. He doesn't ask for his butler or cook anymore.
By the way, I haven't seen this butler in some time? I gotta ask Aiden about him.
Aiden brings everything to the little table in front of the couch and sits down next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side.
He kisses my temple.
Ever since we spoke earlier he's been very touchy. He hasn't let go of me one second the drive here.
And he's kissing my temple or my cheeks all the time.
Not that I'm complaining.
Being so close to him reminds me of the night after the shooting.
We haven't done anything more since then, and we also haven't really talked about it.
That would be much too awkward.
I don't know if I would be ready to take the next step.
Not that there are steps.
It just feels like this would be the next big thing, but I don't know what to think about it.
At least I don't immediately get a panic attack just thinking about it.
That's definitely improvement!
"So my adventurous friend, what did you find out on your mission?" I smile at Theo's question.
He acts like this is some kind of movie.
I tell them how I got in, then talked to Damien (to which Aiden immediately tenses). And then I tell them everything about my meet n greet with Aidens daddy.
They both look at me with wide eyes when I finish talking.
"Let me get this straight." Theo begins "Torres said he wants Aiden to get his inheritance and his imperium which basically takes him out of the game of those who could've hired the shooter." Aiden slams his fist in the table. I don't even blink.
"But it makes no fucking sense! All this makes no sense! Why would he fucking offer you money to leave me alone? This piece of shit just wants me to be as bitter as him! I'm sure he hired the shooter! He has always been after my moms money. And now that she's out of the way, I'm the only obstacle left between him and his money. The only other option would be my uncle but there's no way in hell he could be behind it, he's too stupid to open a simple water bottle." Aiden takes a deep breath and I put my hand on his arm. Which makes him release some tension immediately.
I don't really know what to say. It's obvious I'm not taking the money but I feel bad for Aiden.
We're pretty sure it was intended to hurt him, if not kill him.
The thought makes me shudder.
I can't think about what would've happened, if Aiden was seriously injured or worse.
Aiden takes my shudder as a sign that I'm cold thus he wraps me up in a blanket sitting next to him and pulls me close to his side again.
"What about Damien? Maybe he wants the money?" I ask. It's a possibility.
"No way in hell. He's just as dumb as his father. He's not capable of it." Aiden dismisses my theory.
Theo looks at us with a knowing look.
I let out a sigh.
"Let's do something normal tomorrow guys." I say and they raise their brows.
Yesterday was exhausting and I just wanna spent time with them.
"What do you have in mind love?" Aiden asks.
"We could just, I don't know, do something simple. Maybe cook together and then watch a movie."
"Sure I'm in. But I choose the movie." Theo immediately says.
I chuckle and turn to Aiden.
"Of course." He mutters and kisses my temple.
I'd never tell him. But I freaking love being so coddled by him.
"I'd also invite Callan if that's okay with you guys. I owe him for letting me sleep at his apartment."
"Wait you slept at Callans?" Theo asks.
"Yeah, what did you think?"
"I thought you were at your mothers. But wow okay. Guess that's my new strategy. I'll just show up at the Café looking like shit and beg him to let me sleep at his."
"Okay I definitely wasn't begging." I say while scoffing.
"Mhm."
I roll my eyes and get up.
"I'm gonna take a shower guys." I mutter, and then go upstairs.
After I rubbed myself clean. Using only Aidens stuff, because I wanted to smell like him, I put on one of his football tricots.
I'm standing in front of the door between Aiden and my room.
I wanna sleep in his bed, his scent but I don't know.
He said he isn't mad at me but I'm unsure.
Fuck it.
I open the door and don't spot him, he's probably still downstairs.
I walk towards his bed and get in, pulling his soft blanket over my head and nuzzling into his scent.
I can't explain my obsession with his scent.
I just love it.
It gives me a feel of security and safety.
I fall asleep in seconds.
The next thing I know is someone pulling me close to their chest and kissing my hair.
I smile into the pillow.
"I'm so sorry my love." I don't answer because I want him to believe I'm still asleep.
"I would never intentionally hurt you.
I- I-" he lets out a harsh breath. "I'm scared love. I'm too damaged for you. And you're too perfect for me." I suck in a breath and hope he doesn't notice.
He kisses my hair once more and shortly after his breaths even out.
And I fall asleep once more.
~
Luckily Aidens kitchen is full of everything.
I decide to, for once, not make lasagna.
We're making simple pizza today.
I'm currently making the dough while Theo is cutting the 'toppings'.
And Aiden sets the table.
Callan should be coming any minute now.
He actually sounded pretty happy about me asking him, so I'm glad I did.
"I'm glad you guys are all good again." Theo says from his side of the kitchen.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, Aiden was insufferable yesterday. And you guys are soulmates."
I roll my eyes
Theo is a complete romantic.
And if I'm being honest. I also am.
I want to believe there's one person that's your other half, perfect for you in every way.
But once upon a time I was sure that person was Liam for me.
Apparently my intuition isn't that great.
"What about you Theo? You got an eye on anyone?" I know he does nightstands pretty regular (couples are his favorite) but I don't know if he's looking for a relationship.
"Not really. I know it's sad. I play for both teams and still don't find someone." I chuckle.
Just then Aiden walks into the kitchen with Callan behind him.
Aiden kisses my cheek and I smile at Callan.
"Hey, I'm glad you could come."
"Thanks for the invitation."
"Okay enough with formalities. Aiden you can prepare the drinks and Callan can help you. We're putting the pizzas in the oven in a few minutes."
I snicker when both of them grumble under their breath, not liking being ordered around, they definitely are related.
Both end up doing the drinks nonetheless.
I occasionally hear slight laughter coming from the two boys and my grin is big.
My shift at the Café today was chill because there were some people but it wasn't too much.
Sunday shifts are my favorites I think, even though I have to give up a part of my Sunday.
We eat the pizza and once again I'm impressed by mine and Theo's cooking skills.
It's surprisingly fun and comfortable.
We talk about nothing and everything. We laugh a lot.
And I especially love that the brothers are getting closer. That's what my feelings tell me anyway.
Tomorrow I'll have to go to school again.
I honestly don't want to.
I mean that's obvious. Who wants to go to school?
But I don't wanna see Katie because I don't feel like getting detention.
And that's definitely what's gonna happen when I rip the bitch to shreds.
Maybe even a suspension, and I really can't afford to have that on my transcript.
If she's smart she stays at least twenty hundred feet away from me.
No better yet, she should just fucking move to the other end of the world!
I get into bed happy thanks to our dinner, shady Katie won't ruin another one of my days.
The only good thing about tomorrow is that Aiden said that he'd like to go somewhere with me, so I'm looking forward to that.
I didn't send Torres any message because he can fuck himself, but I won't think about him now.
I quickly fall asleep and once again feel strong arms come around me in the middle of the night.