---
It finally hit me all at once the next day. This time it was set off from seeing a piece of confetti shaped like a sky blue triangle. Will's death, all the terrible things I've done. I freeze in the hallway in the middle of sweeping up the remains of the party, staring blankly as my mind replays Will's body being impaled and killed by the weapon I created. It was my fault. All my fault.
So lost was I in the unwanted flashback that I didn't consciously notice Ammy trying to get my attention. I was aware of it, in a vague sort of way but I couldn't respond as I hung there, eye wide and flickering rapidly.
My memories flashed across my bricks too quickly for anyone to really see what was happening. Scenes depicting all my atrocities condensed down into single images that came and went faster than thought. All the lives I've taken. All the lives I've destroyed. All the people I've tortured. I was leaking tears until there was a puddle beneath me.
My fault. All my fault. Everything.
Ammy was calling my name louder now. He looked worried, a new expression for him. He's not usually the type to worry about anything. All these things I noted in the back of my mind, it's not like I've become blind to the events around me after all, I was simply trapped in a flickering loop as my bricks continued to display every regret I've had over these many billions of years.
Ammy was looking more frantic as I remained unresponsive. He hesitantly poked me but I didn't even budge. I absently note how he flies off screaming for Pyronica. My bricks were beginning to heat up as the images continued flickering.
I hear voices as my friends return. Pyronica swears loudly as small bits of flame start trickling out from my seams.
"Shit shit shit! Everyone get to the teleporters NOW!"
"What's happening? What's wrong with Bill?"
"Explain later, run NOW!"
Distantly I felt my friends evacuate the house. As soon as I was sure they were gone I let go. My flames surged out of me, devouring everything in it's path. The entire house was consumed, everything burning away into ash and dust.
After some time I blinked slowly and came back into awareness. Oh. It happened again. I panicked briefly because the house was GONE and where was everyone?! Wait, they're fine. Pyronica got them all out in time. Where are they? No, more importantly, I need to fix the house.
Even as I angrily screamed at myself for losing control again, I reconstructed the entire house and all it's contents back to the way it was before. It took a while, my energy levels weren't all that good after my...episode...
It took a few days to fix everything. In that time I smacked myself a few times in frustrated anger, not hard enough to crack a brick but enough for it to sting painfully, goddamit why did this happen again?! I thought I'd moved past this! I'm like...50 billion years old now! I should have gotten over this already!
After rebuilding the house, restoring all the furniture and other items, I finally set to finding my friends. Should have done this first to be honest but I wasn't thinking clearly, just tunnel visioned into 'fix what I burned' mode. Blinking a few times I easily looked through the marks I placed on my friends and located them.
They stayed together. Good. Pyronica took charge and kept them safe. The place she teleported them to was a jungle planet that dealt with a lot of off world trade. On other words, lots of merchants with wares from all over the galaxy to steal from.
It's a miracle none of them have been caught yet. My lesson in stealth must be helping. Teeth would provide a distraction by asking nonstop questions while Pyronica and Ammy stole the food and supplies they needed. Xanthar was left behind in a makeshift shelter protecting Kryptos. They managed to hunt down some food when wild animals wandered near them, Kryptos taking off his gloves to zap and paralyze them.
I'm glad they're doing ok. I'll need to thank Pyronica for her quick thinking. I also need to apologize to everyone for losing control like a FUCKING idiot. Stupid! Stupid! I can't believe I still do that!
I Blink to where they are and Xanthar immediately tackles me in a hug. "Whoa! Xan-Xan calm down! Geez..." His 'worry' and 'relief' were almost as heavy as he was.
"B-Bill! You're back!" Kryptos squeaks. He pulls his gloves back on and floats over. "Are you...alright?"
"I'm fine. I'm always fine." I wave him off. "I just...ah...had a little...thing I had to deal with, no biggie."
He looks skeptical but let it slide. "Pyronica didn't really explain what was going on. She just started screaming that we had to leave. Amorphous Shape didn't really tell me what was happening either."
"Oh. Well...um...I might have sort of set the whole house on fire...good thing Ronica got you all out in time right?"
"You did WHAT?! Why?!" The compass stares at me in horror. "It just happens sometimes. I already fixed the house. Everything's fine." I reassure him.
Kryptos stares at me before a look of realization crosses his face. "Do you lose control of your fire like I do with my electricity?" He really is a smart one. I flush orange. "It happens sometimes. And unlike you, I can't just put on a pair of gloves."
"Well, plasma in any form is hard to control but electricity like mine is weak compared to your flame. Not to mention electric currents are more easily contained and redirected whereas fire is wild and unpredictable..."
"Yes, I know this." I cut off his rant before he starts getting into how the electrons behave under our separate elemental affinities. He blushes purple-ish. "S-sorry..." He mumbles.
"It's fine, I just need you to pack up so we can go find the others."
"Well they left to steal more food a few hours ago. They should be back soon."
"Pack up anything you want to keep, we're going to meet them." The sooner I get everyone back together, the sooner we can go home and I can apologize for being a fucking screw up.
"It's not your fault you know. If your fire is really like my electricity, it must be hard to keep it contained constantly."
Krypros really is the smart one. I'm not sure how I feel about being read so easily. I turn to look at him and the compass flinched before licking his teeth nervously. "N-not that I'm saying you're incapable of controlling your powers! You're so m-much stronger and better and-"
"It's fine." I sigh. "You're right. I don't have full control over my own powers." I help him pack up some stuff, just bubble-ing them to float beside us. Xanthar is snuffling along trying to help but mostly just pushing stuff around. "It's pathetic you know? I'm older than all the galaxies and yet I can't even get my own body in order..."
Kryptos glances at me from where he was crouched over grabbing some blankets. "Well...with how much power you have, it's probably harder for you to contain it...and I heard that the older a creature is, the more powerful they get...so you're just..."
He goes quiet and we silently work to break down the camp site. I know he's right, but my problem is more than just trying to hold in my power. It's my damn emotions driving me nuts. My own feelings ramped up to painful levels. I really should go see a therapist about this.
Does Ax count? He listens and helps but this isn't something he knows how to deal with.
But it's not like there's any therapist in the universe I can go to. Even if I book an appointment in some other form, there's no way I'll be able to talk about what my real problems are unless they know who/what I am.
We meet up with Ronica and the others to go home. Ronica and Kryptos both keep sending me worried looks. Teeth and Ammy don't seem to understand what's wrong. Xanthar just presses against my side comfortingly. Blinking back to the house was easy enough and Pyronica looks around in wonder.
"It's like it wasn't even set on fire." She smiles.
"Fire? What?" Teeth asks obliviously.
""Nothing."" Kryptos and Ronica said at once.
I sighed as I float away to the kitchen. Cooking sounded like a good idea right now. Something calming to do.
---
"Hey Ax...should I get a therapist?"
The big guy sent me the most incredulous expression I've ever seen from a salamander. -A...therapist?-
"You know, a Mind Healer. Can I even heal my mind?"
-You're insane. Your mind is shattered beyond reasoning. It might be dangerous for any Telepath to enter it.-
"I don't mean psychically healing me. I mean...talking to someone about my problems and working through them?"
-The idea of healing a mind through such methods is something that humans came up with due to their lack of Telepaths being a viable option.-
"Seriously?! Ugh~" I knew he was right. Most races, especially once they've been pulled into the Federation's sphere of influence, can just sign up for a mind-healing session. Just have a Telepath-doctor go inside them and remove the problematic parts. Easy.
I found it horrifying.
Jheselbraum is the closest I know to being a non-invasive Healer for both Body and Mind. But in her case, she simply provides people with her peaceful safe Dimension to relax and meditate in. Her methods involve a lot of self discovery through deep introspection. It's not really the kind of therapy I was hoping for.
-Your desire to mend your mind is a commendable one. I am sorry I cannot do more to help.- the AXOLOTL really did look sad he couldn't help. I snuggled into the crook of his arm and rubbed his face.
"You help just by putting up with me. I'm just sorry I always complain to you about everything."
-I do not mind. Your talks have been more positive lately. I am glad your friends are good to you.-
"They're the best!" I gushed happily. I leaned against Ax's huge face and sighed. "Do you ever want friends?"
-...I had friends. A long time ago...-
"The Time Giants right?"
-...Yes...-
I wanted to ask him what happened but at the same time I didn't want to force him to tell me. If he wished to let me know, he would tell me himself. I gave him a soft hug. "I'm sorry." I whispered.
-It's not your fault. It was mine.-
"I'm still sorry for bringing it up."
-...Perhaps I too, require this 'Therapist' you speak of...- he rumbles.
"Well I guess we both need to wait for humanity to form and develop enough for that. Or maybe I'll try to put the idea for such a thing in the works for other species?" A thought forms.
"I know the Feds have people who know how to brainwash children. That is a type of mental manipulation without using any psychic powers so they must have someone who knows how minds work?"
I'd hate to ask them for help. Plus I cannot trust any of them.
"Or we could...just talk things out with each other? I know a good amount of psychology. It's not enough for me to be a true Healer but it might help?" I offered. "Actually, I normally do pretty well. I just have…bad days…" What causes my mood to swing between extremes? Is it just a ME thing or does it have to do with what I am?
-I am led to believe these 'Therapists' simply talk to people and that is what helps them...I do not mind talking to you.-
"So we just...talk to each other and hope for the best?"
-There is no rush. We have time.-
I couldn't refute that. If there's one thing we have, it's time.
---
Pyronica came up with an entirely different solution to my current phase of self deprecating depression.
"Spa day?" I asked as she held up the flyer for an incredibly fancy looking place in Dimension Lotus.
She nods with a wide grin. "You've been so tense lately. Come on Bill, just relax and be pampered. I've been thinking about this for a while now. Had a really nice dream about it a while back..."
It did sound kind of nice. A massage would be heavenly. Though does my physiology even allow for such a thing?
"Come on Bill~ a fancy spa day for everyone~ please~?"
"Is this just a you thing or is anyone else up for it?" I looked at the others.
"Well...I've never been to a spa before..." Kryptos fidgets in his seat before smiling hesitantly. "But I've always had a strange longing to try it out?"
I squealed at how adorable his widdle smile was and the poor compass had to deal with me cooing at him while invading his personal space.
"Bill~why?!" Kryptos moans as he ineffectually bats at me.
"You're just sooo cute~" I gushed. "Your widdle teeth and widdle face~"
I have a thing for shy nerds. They're frickin' adorable~ I flick my fingers and put Kryptos in a maid outfit.
"Bill!!!!" He wailed. Despite his protests, I could tell he didn't mind as much as he said he did. As I giggled, Pyronica and the others were whispering to each other, how have they not realized I can hear them?
"Is this that teasing thing that friends do to each other?" Amorphous Shape asks.
"Actually, do you think this is the teasing thing kids do to bully the one they like?" Teeth wonders.
"No, I doubt Bill's into Kryptos that way. It feels more like he's playing with a cute new toy..." Pyronica says.
"Look! Now we match!" I squealed as I spun around wearing a maid outfit too. Kryptos had turned such a dark indigo color from embarrassment he was nearly black.
"Actually...now that I look at it, it really feels like Bill is just excited to get a little sister to dote on..." Pyronica says sagely. She nods to herself, absolutely sure she's figured out the reasoning behind my behavior.
""Oh~"" Teeth and Ammy applauded her brilliant deduction.
Xanthar just slumps over, completely done with our idiocy. He reaches out to grab me when I float past him while chasing Kryptos. "Urk!" I squeak as he encloses me easily in his large hand.
"Ok, enough of this. So do we all agree to the spa day or not?" Pyronica asks as she snatches me from Xanthar's grip. "You can play dress up with your little sister later."
"I'm not a girl!" Kryptos wails. Ammy gave him a comforting pat. "I'm sure Bill will stop messing with you once the novelty of having a sister wears off."
"I'm not a girl!!!"
Long story short, we all decide to go to the spa.
---
I thank every god that exists the spa was nothing like the strip club.
There was a steam room, massage rooms, places for pedicures, manicures and other grooming...it actually looked pretty nice. The steam rooms came in different types. There was Water steam, Mercury steam, Methane steam, Fluorine steam, Chlorine steam...
Erm...probably gonna stick with water. But...I can't even sweat...so...it probably wouldn't do anything for me. I was eyeing up the massage sessions though. How would that even feel?
The lady at the front desk was staring at us in fear. Correction, staring at ME in fear. "D-do you have a reservation?"
I blink at her, raise a finger up "Wait just a sec-" Blinked out of the dimension and entered again at a different moment along the time stream. I startled the man at the counter. "Hello, I'd like to make a reservation for a party of...6 beings of varying sizes and species."
The man cowers slightly. "U-um...when for?"
"A week from today, galactic standard time."
"F-for what treatments and what time sir?" He trembled as he writes down my appointment.
I once again hold up a finger and tell him to wait a sec. Blinking out of the dimension once more, I pop back to Pyronica's room late at night on one of the times when I was gone for a job (I cannot travel to a time where another Me is already present) and whisper to the half asleep Pyronica "Hey Roni, if you could go to a spa, what treatments would you like?"
"Mmmph..." She mumbles as she rolls over on her bed. I scan her thoughts, nudged into the dreams of Spas by my inquiry and nod. "Ok, got it. Thanks Ronica." I gently pull her blankets up from where they were half kicked off the bed and tuck her in.
I go ask Teeth, Ammy and Xanthar as well before Blinking out of there and heading off to find Kryptos.
I appeared in the underground lab (opening the metal and making a note to close that hole afterward) and found Kryptos shivering in his cage. For a second I wanted to take him out of here, free him, but I didn't want to cause a Time Paradox. Having the cops on my angles would completely ruin the spa trip after all.
"Psst. If you could escape from here and go to a Spa, which treatments would you like?" I whispered.
"Hm...ngh..." He moaned. I sent a small burst of soothing heat into all the cages and his tense expression relaxes as he settles into a more peaceful slumber.
"Ok, thanks dude." I whisper before Blinking back in front of the man at the sign in desk.
"Ok, so put us down for..."
---
I pop back into the 'present' (I use that term loosely, Time is an illusion anyway) and leaned against the desk. "Yes, we have a reservation under 'Dapper Friends'."
She looks through her database and blinks in surprise. "Oh. You are here..." She mutters "I was wondering who that ridiculous name was for..."
Since we had a reservation and I've already paid them (in gold no less) the lady hands out a health questionnaire to fill out in case of allergies or health issues their staff needed to be aware of. We filled them out, I wrote Xanthar's for him and the lady handed us our schedules.
"Your guide will be along shortly." The lady says nervously as she collects our paperwork. "There are changing rooms there f-for you..." She looks at our party, most of us already naked and Xanthar much too big for any of their bathrobes.
"Thank you miss." I tip my hat at her politely. We head off to grab robes and slippers from the changing room, Amorphous Shape loudly wondering what the point of putting on clothes even was. Pyronica nudges me with an elbow. "How'd you get reservations? I totally forgot we were supposed to do that first."
"I have my ways." I shrug as I tried to find a robe that would actually fit Xanthar. Maybe I should just get him a towel instead? Feeling very much like a parent I fussed over him as we got ready for our first Spa day together.
I floated around wrapped in a fluffy white robe. I wasn't sure what to do. I tried out the water steam room but my inability to sweat made it pointless. Xanthar and Teeth were playing in the swimming pool, once more with several pools filled with different liquids. Ammy was messing around in the gym trying to figure out how exercise worked. Kryptos and Pyronica were in the steam rooms. Pyronica released a lot of smoke. Kryptos's species sweated numbers. Literally (which meant his sweat was figurative) sweated numbers. I spotted a dining area and couldn't help going to check it out.
I had a half hour before my body scrub with Xanthar and Kryptos, then a pedi/manicure (I have no idea how that's going to work with me) with Pyronica and Xanthar, followed by Ammy, Teeth and I getting back massages together, Pyronica and I were going to get facials afterward. Once again, I have no idea how this is supposed to work but if Kryptos can use these treatments, it's not all THAT different for me right?
I shrug and decide not to worry about it. Today was about relaxing in a less self-destructive way than I normally do. I drool at the foods. They have fish~
---
Never had a body scrub before. I was a little nervous. I'm not used to people touching me, don't enjoy it all that much to be honest but I have gotten a professional massage once as Zyun-Jan and it was nice. If somewhat ticklish.
"Hello, I am Handsy and I will be your attendant today." An alien made up almost entirely of hands (their species were literally just called Manyhand) said to me as I floated into the room. Xanthar was shuffling around the bed in confusion. It was much too small for him. His attendant, a female hand-alien just directed him to lie on the ground on top of many towels.
Kryptos was delightedly flopping face down on his bed. He kept his gloves on, having written his 'condition' down earlier on our health evaluations. Another Manyhand was slowly sprinkling salt along his body.
I floated to my bed and took off my robe. "So...I've never actually done this before..."
"It's very simple sir." Handsy says gently. I abruptly realize he has no idea who I am. People couldn't recognize me without my hat and bowtie. That was...irritating. What OTHER yellow triangles were there?! I've certainly never seen another.
"Just pick out which oils you'd like and lay down." Handsy holds up a tray of various bottles. I read the labels to see they're all different scents. I chose 'CitrusBerry' because it sounded nice. I laid on my belly and tried to relax. Part of me was still nervous. There's a 'fsssh' sound as he pours the salt along me and finally begins rubbing it along my back.
I sighed as the salt crystals scraped along my bricks. Ooh...this was actually really nice. "Your skin is already so smooth sir." Handsy comments as he spreads the salt across my back. I could feel the salt trickling into my seams. I wiggled a little, it felt gritty.
He placed his hands on my back and started rubbing the salt onto each of my bricks individually. I went limp and sighed happily. Ooh~ He started rubbing my arms and legs too and I twitched a bit. It didn't tickle but it felt strange. Being face down with my eye closed was weird, I couldn't see with my own eye so I found the nearest depiction of me (my marks on Xan and Kryptos and 'looked' around.
Xanthar's scrub needed a whole team of people climbing over him. The workers actually looked like they were having fun. Kryptos was moaning happily on his bed. Well it's nice to know they're doing ok. I check on Ammy and found him taking a mud bath, with the mud sinking into his blocks and being stored or oozing out another block.
I resist the urge to groan when he gets out and trails mud everywhere. Goddamit.
Teeth was getting his mouth cleaned. He lay stretched wide open as tiny bird-like creatures flew into his mouth to pick out anything stuck between his teeth and gums. There was another worker making up a toothpaste mixture with a giant hand/teeth brush.
Pyronica was taking a magma bath. She sighs happily as she rubs the molten rock along her arms. I guess they really do have everything here.
My awareness clicked back to my body when Handsy says "Ok, now I do your front." He helps me flip onto my back and poured more salt along my lower bricks. I moaned a bit as he begins rubbing my front. Nngh...shit...ooh~
"Feels good no?" Handsy grins at me, the hands around his 'face' bending their fingers to form a smile. I moan in response, my eye lidding in relaxation. The tiny salt crystals scraped my bricks pleasantly. I was distantly aware of my bricks heating up as I loosened my control over the immense amount of energy I was constantly suppressing. Handsy grunts a little before moving from my bottom bricks and heading up. "Sir, your temperature is rising."
I blinked lazily. "Oh...sorry..." I forced the heat back down. Silly reflexes. He carefully rubbed around my eye and along my top. Hm~
"It is not a problem, many of our patrons heat up. It is why all our rooms have multiple fire extinguishers."
I felt the room shake when Xanthar rolled over to get his tummy scrubbed. He was letting out plenty of 'happy' feelings. I resist the urge to coo at him.
"Alright, there is a shower over there for you to rinse off before we use the oils." Handsy informs me. I sigh and float up to head there. Kryptos was already washing himself. "You having fun Kryptos?" I ask as I float beside him under a gentle spray of warm water.
"Yeah~Is this what your Friends get to do all the time?" He sighs happily into the spray of warm liquid.
"This is our first time at a spa, but we've gone to restaurants together. And bars. I've taken the gang on space walks before. Just floating around through the milky way counting planets and dancing pass the stars."
"That sounds...really nice..." He smiles as he imagines it. "I'm guessing you use your powers to protect us in the void of space?"
"Pretty much." I turn to shower my back as Xanthar lumbers towards us. I help him wash off.
"Your powers are amazing." Kryptos sighs. "How did you get them?"
"I accidentally destroyed my own dimension and killed everyone."
There's complete silence for a while. The pitter patter of the shower head being the only source of noise. I internally curse my habit of 'speaking' whatever was on my mind. Being a telepath was annoying sometimes.
"Oh." Kryptos croaked weakly.
He glanced at me nervously. "Um...would it be rude to ask how that happened?"
"Sorta. But I feel like I need to get this off my chest. I've recently realized it's not exactly healthy to keep it all bottled up. I can talk to Ax about it but there shouldn't be anything wrong with talking to others." I ran my fingers through Xanthar's fur as he rubs against me affectionately. "Just...you shouldn't tell anyone what you learn. This is some pretty personal information right here."
He nods nervously. I switched to 'private speech' mode as we leave the showers to dry off. Xanthar just shakes himself and flings water everywhere.
"So my dimension's atmosphere was extremely flammable...and I sort of raised my heat enough to catch fire and everything started burning."
"But...HOW did that get you powers?" Kryptos asks as we got the oils rubbed into us.
-Don't speak out loud, just think your response.-
'Like this?'
-Yeah. So anyway, I don't entirely understand what happened but even as everyone and everything else burned up, I remained. I tried to stop the fire by absorbing it back inside myself and...exploded.-
'.....exploded?'
-Like a super nova. It was awful. Heck, my most recent explosion was nowhere near as bad and it STILL vaporized the house-
'Do you...explode often?' He asks worriedly.
I was gonna respond but Handsy rubs the oil in ~just~ right and I arch back with a low moan. "Oooh~"
-Sorry 'bout that. I wouldn't say I explode often, just...every now and then. My body just can't handle the sheer amount of energy I produce or absorb and it just...comes out uncontrollably...-
'But HOW? How are you capable of producing that much energy?! And how does that lead to your powers?'
-I sort of naturally gained the ability to manipulate matter on an atomic level after my first explosion. At the very least, Ax taught me how to control it. It took a few billion years to just form a physical body. Even now I'm still learning new ways to use my powers.-
'How old even ARE you Bill?'
-It's pretty rude to just ask a woman her age you know- I joked.
'?!?!?!'
-I'm kidding. Or not. But anyway, I'm over 50 billion years old.-
'T-that's older than existence! Geez, I knew you said you were old but I didn't think you were THAT old.'
-In your dimension maybe. Time travel kinda makes it so I've existed for longer than most worlds have been around. That's not even adding in the fact that dimensions run at different speeds unless Time Baby takes them into his rule.-
'Why are you telling me all this? I'm...pretty much just a stranger...how can you just trust me with this?'
-Because you asked. Because I felt like sharing.-
Because even if he knows, there's nothing he can really do with this knowledge. Even if he betrays my confidence and tells someone, all they would know is that Bill Cipher is older than existence, is prone to super nova levels of destructive explosions, can time travel and alter the fabric of reality to his will.
There is literally nothing they can use against me. All these facts will only serve to highlight how incredibly powerful I am. There were no mentions of weaknesses after all. I'm not dumb enough to give out info like THAT. I'm just the sort who dishes out weird personal information to anyone who bothers to ask. My friends in my first life have told me I don't have a filter...come to think of it, Ax has told me the same thing.
'Who is Ax? You mentioned he taught you how to control your powers?'
-Ax is the one who raised me. The one who I respect more than anything. The oldest living creature in all of Creation...-
'Who?'
-Eh, just ask Pyronica, I wanna actually enjoy myself right now...-
I sighed in content as Handsy rubbed each of my bricks individually. Oh yes~that's good~ the oil was soaking into my seams and I felt my insides breaking down the Carbon and Hydrogen chains. I will have to keep my temperature down, ignition of the oils would be terrible.
The only hiccup to an otherwise quiet session was when Handsy rubbed my seams and I yelped loudly. "Ah, sorry dear customer. I did not realize you were ticklish." Handsy apologizes. Tickles? Is that what that is? I wasn't aware I was ticklish as a triangle (then again, tickling yourself doesn't always work which would explain why I haven't found this out when exploring my own body). Well, that's good to know?
Our scrub session ended and I waved bye to Kryptos as I headed to my mani/pedicure session. I was very curious what they were going to do. Xanthar was excited for it and I barely managed to keep him from bowling over several other patrons in the hallways.
"Who let that animal in here?!" A slug-like alien asked snottily before her mouth was stitched shut. I ignored her frantic screams and hurried Xanthar to the next hallway. It's fine. Just ignore them. Today is all about relaxation. Besides, they can just cut the stitches off.
---
"How're you doing Bill?" Pyronica asks as I settle down on the seat besides her. Her hair was wrapped up in a towel and her ever present high heels were off. I'm surprised to see her toes. It was hard to see under her white fire but they were there.
"I'm doing great actually. This has been nice so far." I place my feet into the hot water basin under my chair as Pyronica had propanol under hers. Her basin caught fire as she sunk her feet in. Seriously, I'm more worried about Pyronica burning this place down than me.
There were basins beside the arm rests as well and I plopped my hands in and wiggled them. Warm~
Xanthar was standing in a pool of hot water, I giggled when he just flops down into it, snuggling into the liquid contentedly.
As we sat there soaking our hands and feet I quickly got bored and started looking around the room. There were other patrons here and there. I'm...both relieved and somewhat insulted no one recognized me without my clothes on. Does that mean I really COULD have just worn a pretty dress everywhere and people would have just...ignored me?
For some reason the fact that I was essentially being ignored made me upset. I KNOW I should be happy. I'm being treated normally by the people around me. No one was screaming or running away. But at the same time I just...felt so insulted.
As I pondered whether my feelings were due once more to my human and monster sides conflicting on a subject, another Manyhand came up to me. She formed a smile and showed me a whole catalogue of different nail polish colors and designs. I leaned forward eagerly. They were sooo pretty!
I asked them to make mine look like my bricks. They had the colors for it. As they gave me a hand massage before painting I checked up on the others.
Amorphous Shape was flinging mud everywhere. I sigh. The poor workers were running after him trying to get him to go to the shower room. A few other patrons slipped on the mud and were angrily yelling at him. I quickly look away. Nope. Don't want to deal with that today. I'm just gonna relax...
I ignore the quiet screams in the distance.
Just...relax...
There's a small explosion, the rushing sound of water and the faint chattering of Teeth's laughter.
Relax...
---
As I got to the room for my massage session, I spotted Ammy and Teeth covered in mud and bruises. Well, Teeth was bruised. Ammy was missing a few blocks. "I'm surprised the staff haven't thrown you both out." I comment lightly even as I cross my arms and stare at them unblinkingly.
"Eh...I was just so excited I might have played around too hard..." Teeth wiggled uncomfortably under my stare.
"I make no apologies." Ammy states simply. "This was supposed to be a trip to have fun, so I'll have fun in whatever way I choose." and somewhere deep inside me, I felt incredibly, PROUD of him for some stupid reason.
I start laughing. Just losing my shit right then and there. The rational, moral part of me wanted to scold them, such behavior was unacceptable! The idea of causing trouble for all the people here was just so
embarrassing! But the other part of myself just kept on laughing. Fuck it. Who wants some calm (boring) orderly spa trip? I'm the mother fuckin' god of CHAOS!
I came here today to have fun and relax.
Well what better way to relax than by letting loose and just being myself? My laughter turns into insane cackling as I let go of my constant self imposed inhibitions. "You know what Ammy? You're right~I should just have fun~"
Teeth gives Amorphous Shape a worried look. "Hey Ammy…I feel like you've just unleashed something awful." Ammy stares at me glowing vibrantly as things around the room begin levitating and winced. "Oh dear."
---
"BILL!!! WHY ARE ALL THE SHOWERS SPEWING OUT SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM?!" Pyronica shrieks the instant she sees me snowboard into the room on a wave of frozen dairy product. I giggle and materialize a waffle cone to scoop up a generous helping of ice cream.
"Are you mad 'cause you were in the shower or because it wasn't a flavor you liked?" I ask while licking at my cookies and cream cone. She just groans loudly. "I've got it in my hair!"
"Easily fixed." I flick my fingers and she's cleaned. Aside from the oils and stuff from her spa treatments at least. She pats her hair down to check for sticky spots, finds none and just sighs.
"What brought this on? I thought you wanted to behave in public so people wouldn't get all worked up over seeing you?"
"Well I realized that there's no point in getting the public to accept me if I'm not even being me. I'm Bill Cipher. I'm weird, I'm random and I do what I want." I flicked my fingers and all the workers suddenly found themselves transformed into the opposite sex. "Besides, no one's seriously hurt and I'll fix it before we leave." It felt good to let loose. Holding in my chaos constantly was tiring.
My massage session went pretty great. Handsy was my assigned attendant again and he...somehow still didn't catch on to who I was, or if he did, he didn't seem to care. I got a very nice back rub and brick thumping from him. I yelped loudly when he touched my seams again and he wisely apologized and kept his hands away from them. My powers leaked out due to me relaxing my constant restraints over them.
This led to some people and objects being randomly transformed as my energy pulses essentially became small Weirdness Waves. It was still better than things catching fire. And it felt so much nicer when I didn't have to suppress my own powers. If I had to put it crude but relatable terms, it was like releasing a fart instead of holding it in. I'm here to relax after all. Having to forcibly contain my powers wasn't relaxing at all.
So I let go, with the only restraint being that my powers do not hurt anyone. I mean, the oil bottles came to life and moaned suggestively whenever the workers squeezed them but I doubt that's an issue. One person I passed in the hall suddenly grew hair all over his body until he looked like cousin It. A few Manyhands grew more hands, a few became feet and some had their limbs fall off and run around on their own.
Despite all these wacky alterations, the workers could still do their jobs properly. I was approached by the owner who questioned the state of her establishment. I assured her I would fix it afterward, bribed her with a shower of money (oddly enough, her species accepts cheese as currency) and then grabbed onto a passing orca whale to escape on a wave of soft serve ice cream.
I recount Pyronica with all that's happened as we laid in our chairs getting our faces rubbed down and cleaned. "Sounds like you're having fun." Pyronica grins at me, already forgiving me for unintentionally covering her in ice cream. "So all this-" she gestures to the chaos around us "-you've been holding it in all this time?"
"I guess...I just enjoy not having to keep my powers suppressed constantly..." Though I have found that the emotions of panic coming off the other patrons at the spa just feed me more, which causes another Weirdness Pulse when it builds up enough energy and repeat. I should at least direct my power a little more...
A lady getting a facial in the room with us turns into a tree. Um...that wasn't what I meant...
I'm surprised the workers don't even pause in their work. The Manyhand attending to the tree simply turns to get some clippers instead. Clearly, a true professional. I have to close my eye when they put the spacumber slice over it.
Looking through my mark on Pyronica, I see how the workers calmly cleaned up the ice cream (a few of them even ate some) and didn't even seem upset. I catch one of them thinking 'This is still better than when Chernabog visited. At least no one's dead.'
Well there you go.
I'm aware there are other gods besides me. I've even met a bunch of them. I've fought a couple. I gotta say, divine turf wars are a thing and I wish someone made a reality show about it because it is hilarious. I reminisce fondly over a war god who confronted me about 'stealing' his worshippers. Dude got jealous because one of his worshippers summoned me and asked me to end the war in his favor with the least amount of deaths. I did so and the War god felt cheated out of all the sacrifices he would have gotten. Everyone who's killed in battle will have their Souls fed to him for power after all.
I laughed in his face over the fact that his so called worshippers went to me instead. He challenged me to a fight, I turned him into a rabbit. He kept his powers, he's just a rabbit now. It made it somewhat difficult for him to get any respect from his worshippers. I say he got what he deserves for eating Souls.
I really don't understand the other gods and demon's obsession with Souls. I could eat a Soul if I really wanted to for a power boost (contrary to popular belief, eating a whole person does not actually get you their Soul, you need to make an agreement to obtain it from them, worshipping a god is 'technically' consent to take a Soul) but I can get the same result from devouring a small star. So, I just didn't see the point. The star gave waaay more power than a mere mortal soul anyway.
As my thoughts jumped around to different topics I heard Pyronica ask if we could do this again someday. "Sure, there's this body wrap thing I saw on their menu that I'm curious about."
We chatted and joked until the timer went off and we could go wash ourselves off. I changed the showers back to normal and started fixing everything as I floated under the spray of warm water. It didn't take long. I felt the other people at the spa letting out sighs of relief when they were changed back, I even kept their salon treatments.
Feeling refreshed I met up with my friends at the lobby. "So. How's everyone feeling?" I absently grab some bottles of lotion and shampoo out of Ammy's storage blocks and send them back to where he stole them from. This was definitely Pyronica's fault.
"My gums feel AMAZING!" Teeth moans as he rubs his mouth. "They even picked out all the tiny bits of food I can't reach."
"It would be nice to do this again someday..." Kryptos sighs. "Thank you so much Bill. Wow...I can't believe people think you're a terrible person..."
"I know right?" Pyronica laughs. She lowers her voice to hiss "Just don't let people know or else they're gonna try and take advantage of his generosity."
As they nod in agreement I just roll my eye. "What generosity? This was as much for ME as it was for you all." I fold my arms and try to hide my blush. Amorphous Shape peers at me and remarks "This is that thing called...Tsun-Tsun?"
I sputter as the others stare at Ammy in confusion. "W-where did you learn that word?!"
"You were ranting about it once when you were drunk." He blinks lazily at me.
"What?! When?!"
"Wait, I think I remember this...it was when we all went to that LiquorPark and you fell into one of the rides because you slipped out of the seatbelt."
I thought back. Yes, we DID go to that amusement park. A water park where all the water was instead Alcohol. The rides were fun but I fell into a vodka lake when I slipped out of the roller coaster. Shit, I only remember waking up to find Xanthar and Pyronica dragging me away from sucking on a canoe that I'd turned into caramel.
In fact I turned most of the park rides and attractions into various food items and had eaten most of them. It took a while to fix it all. We were also given a lifetime ban from yet another place.
Ah...memories...
"Wait, you actually listened to Bill's rant? I couldn't even understand half of it. I thought he was just speaking nonsense while drunk." Pyronica gasps.
Ammy shrugs. "I listened. Much of it didn't make sense. I still don't quite understand the difference between a Dandere and a Kuudere..."
"This was before I joined right?" Teeth groans. "No fair, I would have loved to see that..."
"So what is a Tsun-Tsun?" Kryptos asks.
"Well according to Bill it's-" I quickly cover Ammy's eyes by sprouting multiple hands and slapping his blocks. "It's not important!" I cried desperately.
I kept shooting down the topic when they tried to ask and teleported us all home. Kryptos kept asking until my embarrassment turned to annoyance and I turned him into a sofa before floating away, fuming.
Teeth thought it was hilarious to sit on him until Kryptos electrocuted the Mouth in retaliation. I had to fix and heal both of them afterward.
Also, they were both grounded.
I -asked- demanded Ammy to never mention it again on pain of molecular reconfiguration. He nodded quickly as his blocks turned pale. Pyronica and the others seemed to believe Tsun-Tsun was some sort of insult in my native language. I was too embarrassed to correct them.
---