My life had slowly began to become something near perfect and it troubled me.
I knew my self too well, good things never lasted in my life for too long, happy memories never stayed because my nemesis fate made sure of it.
I began to wonder if fate had forgotten me or Left, or it was just planning something big , something very huge and destructive.
Unlike other people, I began to worry that life was being very nice to me.
I feared for the worst.
Fate? Leave me alone? It promised to torture me to my grave!!
It made a promise to me that I would never keep a smile long on my face.
Like when I finally got into the Olympics and was happy that if I win the reward would change my story.
What did fate do? It made me drown in the pool on the day of the competition and I was never allowed to swim again.
And what of when I got adopted by my rich foster father.
Wasn't that an answered prayer? Well fate made my foster father turn against me and suddenly developed despise for me.
And what of when I met Jacob and thought I had found the right person to me?, fate made him hate me and made him cheat on me.
Now here was Grey, this man I was forced to marry.
His initial behaviours depicted fate's actions, and works , but now, he was an earthly Angel.
I tried to convince my self that I wasn't in love with him, since his words the other time explained that love wasn't something that developed without a direction, but my body wouldn't let me comply to that instruction.
Now I fear that now that I'm happy and staying with Grey, something will happen to end my happiness.
These days Grey was too engrossed with work and so was I.
We would meet briefly in the morning for a quick hello, I barely even had time to cook.
And when we get back from work, it'll be late and we would retire to bed immediately.
I had been wanting to ask him about what he'll define our relationship as.
But the week he was finally free from work load, his father called him.
He and Martins will spend hours in his study together talking to his father and then most of their conversations will end up in heated argument and Grey would be frustrated in the end.
Most of the times, I heard things like.
....."you're not the person to tell me who I get my first child from...."
...."you're not the person to tell me who I impregnate..."
..."don't tell her dad, if you fucken tell her..."
..." Look, I made that decision initially because I was stupid, very stupid, that deal is off ..."
..."it's my goddamn life man,I do what I want, I stick with who I want to stick with, you don't have to choose that for me..."
..."stop blaming me for your wife's death, you had a goddamn phone with you,why didn't you call her to find out where she was? Why did you have to leave? Why weren't you by her side..."
.."look I'm tired of being in a puppet in your hands,I'm no longer carrying a guilt, I'm fucken dumping it on you..."
..." You can't threaten me with the company and the airlines because I know the truth, everything initially belongs to mom , her father owned it all and then you married her and inherited everything...I saw her will the other day, my name is all over it, my real name. So don't get any ideas I know the truth now and I'm no longer a slave to you...I'm a man and I can handle things on my own..I won't let you control me any more..."
I couldn't make sense in anything he was saying and I never bothered asking him because I knew if he wanted me to know , he would have told me.
I had to give him space, he was really fucked up.
Martins said that it was worse than how it use to be and that he's surprised that he hasn't destroyed the house or burnt down something.
Martins said I should try to loosen the tensed atmosphere and it would be fine.
Martins was the true definition of a bestfriend, he was always there for Grey.. every single time.
Tonight I woke up and Grey wasn't in bed... again
I sighed and walked around the house and found him in his study, he wasn't on a phone call, he was working.
"You're really overworking your self these days you know" I said and he looked up.
A smile spread across his face.
Looked like he was really excited to see me.
"I thought you were avoiding me?" He asked avoiding what I said.
"No I wasn't" I said sincerely.
"Yes you are" he replied back.
" I just thought you needed space, I mean, you've been really stressed out these days" I said.
He exhaled and ran his hands through his hair.
"I'm just a mess right now" he said.
I walked over to where he sat and sat on the table in front of him.
"You're gonna be fine Grey bear" I said patting his head.
"Don't call me that" he whined.
"Okay Teddy bear" I said again grinning.
He blushed, wait he liked that name?
"My mom use to call me that" he said playing with his fingers.
..."Teddy, that was what she used to call me.
I haven't had that in a while".
" Well, I'm your new mom now, and I'll be calling you that more often" I said.
"You're not my mom" he said.
"So what am I to you... you're girlfriend?" I asked finally getting an opportunity to ask that.
He scoffed.
"I can't classify you as some childish name Bella" he said.
"So what am I to you?" I asked this time.
He rolled his chair closer to me and allowed his hands find its way to my waist.
"You're my wife" he said in a whisper.
..."and I'm okay with that..."he added.
"But..I thought you just wanted us to like..get to know each other better"
"Bella... what else do you want to know about me? You literally know things about me that no one knows, I want to make this relationship work out, fuck my personal issues. I'm all in, I'm ready now" he said.
I swallowed hard.
"I'm just scared" I whispered.
..."I'm scared that I'm just gonna loose everything in the end.." I said sadly.
"Allowing your insecurities get in the way of your happiness I see?" He asked.
"It's not just an insecurity Grey, it's become part of my lifestyle.
I mean, I have never been happy for too long, something always comes up and destroys it. I'm scared I'm going to loose this too" I said.
"Do you want to give this marriage a try Bella, forget your insecurities... do you?"
I paused to think.
"I really do" I said
He pulled me from the desk I was sitting to his leg. I sat on his legs facing him.
"So what are you afraid of?" He whispered.
"Everything" I whispered back.
He wrapped his arms firmly around me.
"I'm into you Bella,for real, and I'm not scared of anything.
I'm not gonna cheat on you or whatever..I'm fucken faithful and I rather end the relationship than cheat.
And if I say I'm down for something I'll follow it up honestly.
It's not just your physical appearance Bella, it's more than that.
I'm not asking you for your body, you can keep it. Give it to me when you're ready.. I don't even care.
I just want you, that part of you that you are afraid to bring out, that's all I want.
So fuck your insecurities...if others left then know I'm not them, I'm not gonna leave in the end. So please let's just give this a try"
I swallowed hard again.
He wants to take this relationship serious....fuck
" Okay" I whispered.
And again, he crashed his lips on mine, slowly and passionately.
His hands pulled he closer to him and my hands entangle behind his neck.
I felt like I would have gone numb in my legs but I was seating on him.
If this is what happiness feels like, I never want it to end.
He pulled away.
"I'm still gonna call you Teddy regardless" I said and he laughed.
"Okay" he said smiling.
"Why did they call you Grey?"
His lips twitched.
"That's not my real name" he said
I arched my brow at him.
"Seriously?" I asked.
He nodded," I changed my name after she died,I just thought, I don't know, that I needed a new me, I changed my name to Grey since then"
"So what's your real name?" I asked being really curious of Grey having another name that I never knew of.
He slowly shook his head slowly," I don't think I want to talk about it...for now" he said.
I nodded," so you called your self Grey because?"
He shrugged," it suites my personality" he said and i laughed.
"I'm hungry" he mumbled.
"What??it's like past 2 in the morning, you can't eat this late" I said.
"You want me to eat you?, I'll be glad to" he said smirking.
I hit him on the elbow,"you're crazy" I said.
"I'm serious, I'm hungry...I didn't eat to sleep last night, I was so stressed out" .
"So what if I didn't wake up huh?" I asked.
"Well usually, I have cereals in the kitchen, but someone replaced it all with vegetables" he accused.
I found it the perfect time to give him my health meal lecture.
"You know Grey, it's always good to eat healthy , it's good for your body, unlike the junks you usually have..."
"Ughhhhhhhhhh" he groaned
"And you can't even cook a real meal, as grown up as you are." I accused.
"I can cook Bella, believe me"
I scoffed," what can you do,boil water?" I mocked.
"Cheese cake, lasagna, chicken salad, turkey salad, bacon and eggs, pancakes, fruit cake, pie, apple pie, strawberry shortcake, ice cream sandwiches, ice cream cake... whatever..I can cook" he said.
I started laughing," you're kidding me... I've never even seen you turn on the gas"
"I can cook Bella, I just chose not to". He shrugged.
"Why?"
"I don't know, I stopped cooking after she died, she was the one that taught me how to cook and all so yeah I can cook and I stopped cooking because it reminded me of her and I didn't want to go all emotional and stain the food with my black tears" the way he joked about it surprised me honestly.
.."so Yes Bella,. I can cook, and I will show you someday that I can..." He said proudly.
"I'll wait for the day" I mocked still not believing that Grey could do anything himself.
..."yeah I wanted to ask" I said.
.."how do you do this stuff, like, you're neat, like very neat, too neat, like girl kinda neat, I know no one enters our room except the two of us, but your closet is always so organized and arranged... how?"
He giggled..." Uhhh... my roommate back then in military highschool was a very perfectionist kinda girl". He said.
I blinked," girl????"
"Yeah, my roommate was a girl". He said and I stared at him wondering if he was normal.
"How is that even possible?"
"Well, there was kinda an error when they gave her her room number and it ended up in the boys dorm, she started panicking and saying she wanted to change rooms immediately , that was when they told her that all the rooms in the girls dorm was filled and she had to wait for a week.
All this while I hadn't resumed yet, when I finally resumed, she changed her mind about moving saying she was comfortable" he said.
"Why was she comfortable?" I asked.
He shrugged and smirked," obviously I was hot" he started grinning.
..."so she had this habit tho, unconsciously, she would start arranging things whenever they weren't in order, she was always scolding me whenever I left things unkept and all, so I slowly adopted her lifestyle and all... she was my roommate till she left, she couldn't cope with the treatment and all." He said.
"So you had a female roommate??"
"Yeah it was pretty fun..we had sex like almost every night"
I seriously didn't understand how Grey said some stuffs without any issues or something.
He saw my facial reaction and laughed.
"What? How do you think I could stay in the same room with a girl for almost 4 years and not do anything?" He continued laughing.
"We weren't dating tho..." He continued.
.."I think she even had a boyfriend....I said I think"
I just kept on staring at him with that creepy face I always kept when I was shocked.
Nothing should shock me about Grey again, nothing
..
" Bella, stop looking at me like that...it was fun" he whined laughing.
"So wait, let me get this straight, your roommate was a girl, for about 4 years?? And she might have had a boyfriend while you guys were having sex in your room almost every night????"
He shrugged," look, she was the one cheating, not me, I didn't have a girlfriend by then " he tried to prove his ass innocent.
"Bella baby c'mon stop looking at me like that" he whined playing with my cheeks.
"You're a crazy person Grey" I said.
"You like me that way" he teased.
I rolled my eyes and got off his legs.
"There is some whole grain cereals I hid somewhere, I'll go get them for you"
"Wait, you're hiding my babies from me?" He placed his hand on his chest and feigned shock.
"How many babies do you have?" I said smirking.
He smirked back," just you... and food"
I blushed and left his study.
Suzie came over later that day telling me that I was gonna be very busy for the next few weeks and that I had a lot of work to do.
I guess it's now gonna be world tour again.
While Suzie and I were discussing, Martins walked in .
"Hey Martins"I said
"Hey Bellarina" he said cheerfully and kissed the top of my head.
"Stop kissing my wife's Head" I heard Grey say coming down stairs.
"Why not? I'm not gonna steal her away from you" he said grinning.
"You know what Martins, I think you and I should elope and run away... just to pain Grey" I teased.
"No thank you, my boyfriend will kill me" Martins said and I paused.
"Boyfriend???" Suzie and I shrieked together.
"Yeah I'm gay" Martins said and I turned to Suzie and saw her mouth hanging in shock, it looked like she was going to cry.
I heard Grey burst into those his annoying laughter's .
"Fuck I'm so grateful to be here when this happened" he continued laughing very aggressively.
I looked up at Martins and he was smiling.
"What I didn't tell you?" He asked.
I could only nod because I was shocked... honestly shocked.
That was when I began to recall that I had never seen him with a girl, never seen him talk about a girl or whatever.
"I'm sorry, must have slipped my mind" he said.
Then I turned back to Suzie, disappointment washed her face.
That was what Grey was talking about when he said she would be disappointed.
And Grey was still laughing.
"That's nice Martins, honestly I never knew... that's okay, I have gay friends too, I'm cool with it". I said smiling and he smiled back.
"So your boyfriend.... what's he like?" I said relaxing my face on my elbow and looking at his grinning.
"He's uhhh... normal I guess" he said.
Grey was still laughing, probably at Suzie's disappointment which Martins hadn't noticed.
"Uhhmm...I uhhh..I have to go..I'll...I'll call you later okay" Suzie said picking up her bag to leave.
"Everything okay Suzie?" Martins asked.
She tried to hide the pain.
"I'm fine, just uhhh... remembered something" she said and walked out briskly from the house.
By now, Grey was trying to recover from the laughter, he had turned red and water has started to come out of his eyes.
". I wished I took a video of that scene" he said panting.
"Okay I don't understand... what's going on" Martins asked honestly confused.
Grey started laughing again.
I threw him a pillow and he didn't even bother dodging it, he just sat there laughing.
"What happened?? Is there something wrong?"Martins asked again.
I sighed," don't get this cringe or whatever, I mean, being gay isn't bad, you can fall for who ever you want.
But ... Suzie... she kinda liked you... Asin... serious" I said and his mouth opened slightly.
"Ohhhh" was all he could say
"Yeah, and she was kinda having hopes that you liked her too or something...I don't know" I said.
Grey's laughter was becoming annoying,. This Time around he was on the floor, holding his tummy tightly.
"I'm ...I'm sorry...I..". Was all Martins said..
"Hey it's okay, it's not your fault" I said.
"I should...I ... should I talk to her?" He said in a sober tone.
..." I mean like...I don't wanna just loose a friend like that yunno.." he said worried.
"It's okay, actually just forget about it... don't even talk to her about it, she's cool, she'll get over it" I said.
"You sure?" He asked.
"I'm sure" I replied.
Then Grey stopped laughing again.
"Hey Bella do you have any other friend again that likes Martins, could you please make them come tell him so I can laugh again and see their reaction? Cuz fuck I wanna laugh" he said trying to recover from the laughter.
I walked over to him and smacked a pillow over his head.
"Don't you ever fucken laugh at my best friend again...else I'll kill you" I threatened, but he didn't budge , he continued laughing.