In the deadly silence of the dark night.
A heart was shouting out its pain but words never left his mouth. He never said anything so no one talked about his pain but the truth was something else he never said because he knew there was no one to hear him, never was there anybody since his childhood. It was always painful but then his heart learnt to endure this loneliness. Happiness was never on his side, being with people got him nothing but betrayal so his heart choose peaceful silences then fake care.
This heart belonged to none other than chang an. He was lying on his bed lifeless. After a long time of enduring silently he was all tired could not keep it inside any longer. So he decided to not to be silent today but does it make any difference as there is no one to hear him.
Chang an - (calm) why? why baicao? why are you doing this to me? If you were not willing to take the responsilbilty of my heart then why did you made it beat again? Why did you made it trust again?
I always thought that the pain of betrayal was the worst but today I when I looked into your eyes I understood the pain of losing of hope is most worst.
Till date whenever i was close to you in any of such situation you never match your gaze with me and I thought you were shy but today what I saw in your eyes was not what I always wanted to see. It was...guilt!
(Screeming) aaaaaah baicao why? Why? I never needed anyone..... never needed a family but you said we are a family then why you don't treat me like one. If there is something in your heart why don't you tell me? If you love me then why can't you say it, why? and if you don't..no...no it is not gonna happen. I know baicao will love me one day, i am willing to wait as long as it need, will do anything because she is mine.
SHE IS MINE!!!
Still struggling between debate of his heart and mind he drifted into the dream land..
______________________________
Next morning
FANG MANSION was all in rush, stuffs were moved here and there, each and every person was busy with something or else.
Tingyi - is grandpa's room settled?
Maid 1 - yes ma'am.
Tingyi - shen bo have you got all the new edition of book that grandpa like?
Shen bo - yes senior sister
Tingyi - is the breakfast ready?
Maid 2 - yes it is almost ready, ma'am.
Tingyi - make sure it taste exactly the way he likes, ok.
Maid 2 - ok ma'am.
Shen bo - senior sister please calm down everything would be fine.
Tingyi - how can I calm down shen bo. Grand pa is coming back after so long, I want everything to be perfect.
Shen bo - I understand what you are saying sister but if you will take stress your health will be affected and then he will be angry.
Tingyi (laughing) - don't worry shen bo I am totally fine. And ya are the hall papers ready?
Shen bo - ya they are ready.
Tingyi - ok I will take a look at everything one last time.
Shen bo - no senior sister you should rest for some time you have been working since morning. So you sit here I will make sure everything I done properly.
Saying this shen bo went to check arrangements while Tingyi sat on the sofa checking the hall documents. After a while everything was ready. With passing of each moment Tingyi was getting nervous.
Shen bo - senior sister please don't worry, believe me everything will fine.
Tingyi - how can I not worry shen bo, you know when joined fengyun hall grand pa was so upset with me. He kept on telling me to leave saying it is dangerous and then I got injured. He became very angry with me, he even refused to talk to me. I thought I lost him, that he will never talk to me again just because of my stubbornness. Now at last he forgave me so I don't want to give him any chance of getting angry again.
??? (strictly) - good at last you understood your mistake.
Tingyi - grandpa !!
Shen bo - ran to him hold his hand brought him to the couch. He had a very angry look on his face it seemed like he is still mad with her. While Tingyi could not hold her tears back after meeting her grandpa for a long time. Tingyi stood carefully from sofa and hugged him tightly but he didn't hug her back. Shen bo became quite worried seeing his action.
Tingyi (crying) - grand pa I missed you so much. I am so sorry for what I did. I was so blinded by my stubbornness that could not see what I was doing. But I am glad that you forgave me now.
Grand pa - who said I forgave you?
Hearing him Tingyi got shocked backed off from the hug.
Tingyi - what do you mean grand pa?
Grand pa - i didn't forgave you? You join that hall no matter how much I denied, then you got yourself injured and now you asking me to forgive you?
Tingyi - i am sorry grandpa I didn't knew about fengyun hall and could not understand your concerns.
Grandpa - so what? I know that you didn't knew reality of that hall but even if that hall is good or even the best you must have listened to me because I am your grandpa. You disrespected me Tingyi. You totally disappointed me. I don't know why i am even talking to you?
Tingyi - i am sorry grandpa. I accept that I was wrong, I was totally an idiot, I am the worst granddaughter. I accept all my faults. You can shout on me, scold me, you beat me and you can even give me any punishment. But please talk to me. Please grand pa! I beg you please forgive me!!
Tingyi was totally broken at this point all things that happened to her loved ones because of her again came in front of her eyes. She was crying miserably anybody would feel bad looking at her right now. Shen bo had tears in his eyes looking at her. Surprisingly even grand pa had tears in his eyes and he hugged her tightly.
Yes, she was at fault, she did wrong, she even deserves punishment for that but she also suffered. Nobody punished her but her deeds did punish her.
Grand pa (consoling her): calm down Tingyi. Calm down my child. It is not only your fault it was my fault too. I always compared you, always compelled you to be the first that why you got so blinded by being the best and could not actually see what is right or wrong.
Tingyi: grandpa please don't blame yourself it has nothing to do with you? It was all my faults. I failed to be a good grand daughter.
Grand pa: ok stop it now, you say this one more time and I will be really get angry with you?
Tingyi: so now you are not angry with me.....
Grandpa - how can i be angry with my little princess... and you are the best granddaughter of this world.
Tingyi - then what were you doing till now?
Grand pa: acting... Don't you think my skills have improved?
Tingyi : grandpa you are so bad. I hate you.....
Grand pa (mocking)- ooh please don't hate me, i will never do that again.
Tingyi - grand pa!! why you did that I thought you will never forgive me.
Grand pa - ooh my little princess! know you did wrong, you did a very big mistake but you know what is important that you realized your mistake even if a bit late but still you accepted your fault.
Tingyi - so you came back just to make sure that am guilty for what I did?
Grand pa: ofcourse....I was very angry with you for what you did then I thought to teach you a lesson so I came here. You know in whole journey I was thinking about my dialogs. But when I came I saw you were already guilty about it but still I decided to follow my plan.......
Tingyi : really? So you just came here for this not for me.
Shen bo - what are saying senior sister can't you understand that great hallmaster is still playing with you....
Tingyi - really grand pa? is shen bo right?
Grandpa (smiling) - ya he is right. I was never angry with you just a bit disappointed because you didn't listen to me.
Tingyi - I am sorry grandpa....
Grandpa - But still I didn't came her for you I came here for shen bo.
Shen bo - really for me?
Gand pa - ya I came back because I got to know that now tingyi can walk and any carelessness can be dangerous now and even i knew she would never listen to you. so I came back just to make sure she doesn't give you a hard time.
Shen bo - ya this is true she never listen to me, always boss around and do what ever she wants. I always have to take baicao's help to make her do something.
Grandpa (quite angry): baicao? Why she?
Tingyi (trying to distract) - grand pa leave this.....shen bo's complain will never end. You tell me how did you know about this ?
Grandpa- why should I tell you I have my own ways.
Tingyi - ok I know you won't tell me so its a waste to even ask. But you know I got you a present.
Grand pa - a present?
Then shen brought a file from the table and gave it to him.
Grand pa - what is this?
Tingyi - open it...
As he open it a huge smile arrived on his face and slight tears in his eyes.
Ting yi - so you like the present.
Grandpa - I loved it. But how did you this?
Tingyi (proud) - I have my own ways.
Actually the file had xian wu hall ownership paper. Shen bo offered him a pen so that he can sigh and be the owner of the hall. He took the pen but instead of signing he gave that pen to tingyi.
Tingyi(confused) - what grandpa?
Grandpa - sign the paper?
Tingyi (shocked) - what are you saying grand pa? you should sign the paper not me.
Grandpa - tingyi you are not kid anymore so i think you should take your responsibility. This hall was always your I was just waiting for the right moment and I think this is that moment.
Tingyi - but grand pa I still don't know how to handle a hall I still need to learn a lot for that.
Grand pa - it's ok tingyi I am still here to teach you and if you will not take the responsibility you will never learn.
Tingyi - but grandpa
Grand pa (strictly) -no ifs and buts just sign it.
After hearing to his strict order tingyi silently signed the paper.
Grandpa - ya that's like my princess. So how does it feel now.
Tingyi - scared
Grandpa - hey... Don't be scared. Come give me a hug.
Then tingyi hug him tightly. While shen bo was looking at them with a smile.
______________________________
In songbai hall
It was a normal day. They were done with their morning exercise. Everything went smoothly without any drama. Now everyone was doing their own work at their place. But strangely someone who chirp like a bird whole day was quietly sitting under a tree alone.....
It was none other than xiaoyue.
Xiaoyue - it is true what xiaoying told me yesterday….. (shook her head) no ..no it is not true baicoa loves coach. He is best choice for her but if it true then why baicao does not accept it.
Fei yu - xiaoyue what are you doing here alone.
Xiaoyue - a..ah nothing I was just sitting like that.
Fei yu - but I heard you talking about something...something about savior.
Xiao yue -no…..no I was just talking about random stuffs….
Fei yu could easily guess that something was bothering her by the way she was talking.
Fei yu :xiaoyue do you think of me as your friend?
Xiaoyue: friend? (she didn't said anything else and paused at her place)
Feiyu - ooh…. it's ok if you don't take me as your friend ( he became sad)
Xiaoyue - no … no I do take you as a very good friend. It's just I was thinking about something so got shocked with the sudden question.
Fei yu (happily) - ok … so as I am your friend so you can share with me what is bothering you.
Xiaoyue - a…aah. It was like ….. you know ... I think….. it's not important.
Fei yu - its ok if you don't want to share
Saying this he stood from his place and was about to go but xiaoyue hold his hand.
Xiaoyue - no please don't go ...….. I think I need to talk to someone about this.
Fei yu again sat beside her.
Xiaoyue - but promise me that you won't tell this to anyone…
Fei yue - ok I promise…pinky promise
So then xiaoyue told him all about yesterday's incident how she was actually teasing baicao just to light up the environment but xiaoying stopped her and even everything about their conversation.
Fei yu - so what mistake xiaoying told you about.
Xiaoyue - she told me about an incident
Fei yu - what incident ?
_______Incident _______
One evening xiaoying was going to songbai Hall to help baicao in cleaning. But when she went there she saw something very surprising. Chang an was already there helping baicao. They were cleaning together and were almost done when xiaoying reached there. So xiaoying stood hiding near the door listening to them.
Chang an - done.
Baicao - thanks for helping coach.
Chang an - no need of thanks I was helping myself not you.
Baicao (confused) - what do you mean coach?
Chang an - with this reason I could spend some time with you.
Baicoa(awkwardly) - aah? (baicao actually understood what he meant but was just trying to avoid the situation)
Chang an - you know I love you.
Baicao - coach please!!
Changan - please what baicao?
Baicao - coach you know who is in my heart then why?
Chang an - I clearly know what is in your heart but I just want you to accept it.
Baicoa -no coach you are misunderstanding?
Chang an - I am not misunderstanding anything but I think you are not understanding your own self.
Baicao - no coach I know, you even know that there was only one person in my heart he will be always there…
Chang an - but I am willing to wait.
Baicao - it is not about waiting, it about my heart and I know my heart will never accept it. I will never lov.....
Before she could even complete her line chang an hardly pulled her toward him and cover her mouth with his hand so she could not say that line. His grip on her was very tight even baicao eyes got teary.
Chang an - don't ever say that. I don't want to hear that line. I am willing to wait as long as it takes. Even if it takes my whole life. But from your mouth I want to hear just confession, just that you love me. Nothing else and if you are sure that you can never love me then don't say it..... just take a knife and stab it in my heart. Anyways I don't need this heart if you don't take care of it.
Baicao's were filled with tears now threatening to fall anytime. Chang an notice it. He suddenly left her and gazed down. He did had courage to look at her after what he just did. The truth was he was just saying that he can wait but actually his patience had already came to an end so now he started to find ways to come close to her so that she can get addicted to his presence.
Changan - I am sorry baicoa. I didn't mean it. I just lost my mind. I am really sorry.
Saying this he immediately turned around and left he didn't even looked at her once. While baicao was looking at him diappearing from her sight.
As he completely faded away her tears also made its way to her cheeks. While xiaoying who saw the whole scene hiding in the corner saw him going away. Then she again turned toward baicoa was completely shocked as was crying mess.
Baicao - why? Why ? this happens with me? Why nobody understands me, they never listen to me. They just think what they want to and never try to understand my situation. I don't want to hurt anyone but I always get in a situation where I can't help it. Why always I have to choose why always I have to make choice between my and others happiness. Why?
They say love is the most beautiful feeling in this world but for me it is the worst. The first time I felt love everything started to mess up. My whole life is messed up all just because of love. I hate this life because of the most beautiful feeling in this world LOVE. If i would have died in that fire accident many life would have been better than what they are now. I ruined everything, I messed up their life. I hate this life. I hate myself. I hate my existence. I hate LOVE!!!
Baicao was completely broken at this point she fell on her knees. As xiaoying saw this she came running to her and hugged her tightly. She was also very sad seeing her friend in this state.
Xiaoing(trying to console her) - what are you saying baicao? Please don't
say all this.
Baicao - xiaoying what should i do nobody understands me. I don't want this life. I hate this life. If I ever have another life I would just stay away from this rubbish love. I never hurt anyone love hurt them. This love is the worst thing in this world.
Xiaoying - baicao what are you saying love never hurt people it heal people. It gives them a reason to live not to end their life.
Baicao - you are lying xiaoying. It is not true.
Xiaoying - Please baicao just once leaving your past try to truly feel being in love. Please give coach a chance, give yourself a chance.
Baicao - you are even like them. You even don't want to understand me.
Xiaoying - coach is a good person. He has done a lot for you, sacrificed a lot for you.
Baicao - sacrificed? Is it just about their sacrifice? Is it not about what I feel? I never asked anybody to sacrifice anything for me, it was their choice , their decision. Then why should I suffer because of that? Why ?
You know I always feel like they are just trying to buy my feeling at the cost of their sacrifices.
_________ End _________
There was all silence in the surround neither feiyu nor xiaoyue said anything.
Xiaoyue - what do you thing fei yu did I do wrong till date?
Feiyu - I don't think that not only you we all did that. And we were not wrong we were just unaware. But now that we know we will not repeat the same mistake.
Xiaoying - ya I will also not do anything like this anymore.
At last they both smiled. But someone heard their conversation who was not really happy like them.
??(mumbling) does baicao really feel like this…. No no this can't happen...