Why even attempt, then?
I've always wanted to die, though.
Across my flesh,
To paint my skin, I looked for a razor.
My skin is covered in a crimson-red paint that is dripping gently.
With no delay, the sensation of contentment slowly develops.
Guilty thoughts from a disturbed mind,
a wrist covered in unnoticeable scars.
People claim to love and care about me,
However, I am not astonished when they lie.
I just sob silently as I lay on my bed.
Just praying that things won't stay this horrible forever.
Perhaps tomorrow won't be the day we meet.
To let my sorrows out, I cut.
I have control over my life's course.
being able to see it slide through my finger like sand.
It's not so horrible to have a clean cut on the skin.
I have the right to end my own life, after all.
Although it's forbidden, I'm in anguish.
I am entitled to deliver myself from this suffering.
My mind is failing in this battle,
If I jumped over the roof tonight, would you miss me?
I am aware that I will not prevail in this battle.
My canvas is covered in crimson stains,
Would take me straight to the grave.
Forever in despair,
Forever in agony.
My mind and I are giving up this fight.
I'm hoping I won't survive this time.
I apologize, Mom and Dad.
But I bid you both goodbye.
Despite my best efforts,
regardless of the price.
I'm sorry I wasn't the child you expected me to be.
So, if I do not make it far as I should be in life,
Know that there will be a suicide note stashed underneath the bed,
I couldn't go without bidding you farewell.
So, I'm sending you this message to apologize.
However, I surrendered my light to the darkness inside.
Because that's how your little girl just died.