I can't move, I can't breathe, I can't even do anything. All that's happening to me right now is just feel myself wandering around with no sense of direction at all, I feel like I'm sinking. Was this the feeling of a lost soul?
Perhaps it is. But what is this feeling?
It seems like I can still feel emotions within me. Are there still something I should not have left behind? But my life had already felt satisfaction.
No, I'm sure I felt that spark of emotion just now, it's a feeling of wanting to keep on living.
A spark of desire pops up in me, I want to live more. But I am aware that my life has ended. What's the point of having this desire if I can't make out of this senseless void.
Wait, souls are just non-physical type of being, they are simply not treated as a material-like entity, emotions and thoughts are of that same kind as well.
I've once speculated a theory about the wandering souls obtaining some sort of a astral form or in other words vengeful spirit.
It is said to be a form that was "claimed" through a strong desire or whatever I could thought up. "Claimed" huh, it's like a method of granting a wish through the wishing well.
What if I treat my own soul like an offering in exchange for granting myself a wish? It may not work but it's worth a try.
I mustered up both my emotions and thoughts altogether and focused my soul into giving myself a desire: I want to live. After a while, nothing happened.
Perhaps my desire was not strong enough. I continued wishing strongly for my desire. This "venting for a wish" went on for a while and it's not working out.
Perhaps my existence as a whole was divided in different specks of pieces. Should I gather my every sense of myself into a single thing?
Like a seed buried deep inside the soil, I started focusing my soul to forming into a new seed. Next thing I knew, I lost "it" or should I say I got swallowed up by something unknown.
All of a sudden, I felt a surge of energy swirling around me while I was harnessing my will. I felt it somehow.. but I don't have a sense of touch, and yet I felt it, it was an itchy feeling.
I can move, or more like a twitch.. it's aching. A sense of pain aching in my back, arms and elbows. I open my eyes slowly. I can see? It was bright.
I'm looking up in the trees while laying down. I said to myself, "What just happened?"
I raise up my head and back, then i felt dizziness in my head. I was confused on what just happened to me that I stood up.
I looked at my surroundings and found myself lost in the forest. No. I can see a stray mansion off in a fair distance. I thought to myself asking what am I supposed to be doing, as I can't think of anything I first headed in the mansion thinking I could get my answers in there.
As I was going nearer and nearer to the mansion, I just noticed that I was walking a bit faster today, I wonder why?
When I made it, I heard a girl's voice calling out to me, "Master Louie! Where have you went off to this time?!" When I glanced at her, she was an 17 y/o working maid. I just respond to her with a poker face, "I'm just... sightseeing.."
The maid sighed at me and said, "Okay. I'm glad to see you safe, young master. Next time, please inform me where you go off, okay?"
I nodded to her then she walks off to continue on doing her work.
As I was left alone, I thought something was strange.. I know she called out to me specifically and yet, she called me in a name I was unfamiliar with but it was still without a doubt 'my' name.
I glanced around and see one of the mansion's window in the distance, looked to myself for the first time and muttered on my own, "I look like a 15 y/o kid.."
"Wait, a 15 year-old..?"
I said to myself in a shocking manner. "I'm supposed to be a 60 y/o man dying with a disease!"
The shock got to me and at the same time, I got confused again. "Why did I say I'm a 60 y/o man?"
As I had nothing to do with myself, I take a stroll around the mansion checking out the people and scenery.
I only saw a few housemaids sweeping leaves and dust in the walkways, a nice looking garden in the back of the mansion, and an oblivious tree standing out in a circular runway on the front mansion. The outside content of this place is gorgeous enough to call it noble. Next I head straight in the front door of the mansion and inside it was a fancy hallway with those over-the-top knight armor builds on two corners near the door, other than that there's just nothing special.
I embedded myself deep in thought while I walk around. I woke up in the middle of a forest.. what was I supposed to be doing? My vision got a bit blurry as I slowly recalling the past events, it was still unclear to me on what is this weirdness sense I've been feeling for a while now.
I was named as Louie Crowley, a normal 15 year-old kid born in a noble family with our hair colored black as a distinct feature in the bloodline. A typical generic little fella that is not spoiled, average looks, average physique and average knowledge. Not the smartest kid out there but does know how to adapt in situations, can make a quick good judgement and has a courageous willpower.
On the other hand, my family consists of just me as the only child and my mother Lady Eleanor Crowley, my only family left. The fabled father, Earl Brian Crowley was reported to our household 'Missing In Action' after the great conflict somewhere in the Kingdom of Janual and has not been found dead or alive ever since.
I made it to my room, lay into the bed and then contemplated with myself alone. The confusion from before is still undergoing.
I said to myself that I am old but I am young right now. Perhaps I got myself an alter ego, gone on a time travel or maybe I'm living a second life concerning the fact that I was dying, I don't know.
As I thought through who I am, a memory popped up, a man in his 60's contemplating in the hospital bed alone giving up on his life. It was a sad scene but I was now aware, this memory isn't mine.
A concept of fusing two souls in a single body was not unheard of from what I can tell, but in my case, all the other memories was all blur and I can't even recall a thing, perhaps this man was too old to call out his memories back. A somewhat of a case that is either transmigration or integration.
I merrily get off the bed and excitedly declare, "But who cares about that! We're in the new world filled with different nature and undiscovered wonders, a new call for a great adventure awaits! Let's head off somewhere!" I shook off the confusion and it felt exciting getting that line off my chest.
I want to explore what's this world has in store for me.