[Kaleah POV]
I was now two months pregnant, 7 months to go, my morning sickness had just started, and I curse the days I thought mother was exaggerating when she called morning sickness the wrath from hell.
"Are okay now?" Cyan asked, We had not resumed our art shop preparations, it was going to open just after I give birth, but he had chosen to sell some pieces online before the physical shop opened.
But due to me puking my guts out all morning, our preparations were halted as well.
"I am sorry," I speak, "I really think I am going to die."
"Please don't enlist the fear of having kids to me, I am very looking forward to giving birth to a cute freckled ginger," Cyan says.
I could only smile bitterly, I also really would want to give birth to a brown eyes' cutie, be as strong willed as his father and maybe have my artistic abilities.
"Hey, don't give me that, you and Clayton are going to have more kids," Cyan says.
"I doubt," Clayton and I's marriage has been lacking a lot of intimacy, like the only thing he knows how to do recently is cuddle me or kiss me in the forehead.
And it is bothering me, because I miss him terribly, I miss his kisses and all those other things that follow. He used to be so aggressively in love with me, but recently it is all up in flames.
"What do you mean 'I doubt'?" Cyan asks, I explained how we haven't been intimate with each other since the whole kidnapping thing.
And a big part of me have been having very crazy thoughts, thoughts of him having someone else he gets the intimacy from.
"So, you think Clayton Beckett could cheat on you? Leah come on that man would poke his eyes with needles before he could even cheat on you," Cyan defended.
"Just talk to him, he probably has a good reason why."
I just couldn't even believe Cyan's words, I am soon to be looking like an inflated balloon and I was gaining weight every second since this pregnancy, the is no way he finds me attractive.
"I will try," I reply, maybe there is a plausible reason.
I spent the day helping Cyan set up our online store, it felt good to take my mind off my intimacy lacking marriage.
Clayton came home earlier than usual since he has been helping with Zoey's birthday preparations next month.
"How was the meeting with Holly?" I asked; Holly was the lady who was overseeing the party celebration.
"Not bad, she has grasped the concert for our princess pretty well," he replies, since I was pregnant, he was the one in charge of the preparations.
He didn't like how sick I got because of the pregnancy and felt I need not take on such troubling work.
But a part of me has been feeling more jealous, maybe this Holly girl is pretty, and my husband likes how she looks.
Well, who wouldn't choose a nice beautiful lady over and his balloon wife? Any wise man can see she is better than me.
"Are you okay?" he asked, my face must have been looking grim.
"Oh… I am fine just thinking about the whole birthday thing," I lie, he sees past my lies, but he doesn't press any further.
We all have dinner as a family and retire to our beds, Zoey has been having really good sleeping habits, she no longer wakes up in the middle of the night and she sleeps as soon as everyone else sleeps.
And as usual we only cuddle, with all these hormones acting up, my husband still just cuddles me.
I felt really hurt, even more when he woke up in the middle of the night and was busy on his computer, and the bed began to be very cold. I miss him, his usual unapologetic loving husband.
His day started as usual, he woke up early to prepare for his work and say his goodbyes, and in all that I never had the courage to speak about my new worry.
"Come on Leah, Clay would never do that to you," Cyan says for the umpteenth time.
"But why is he distant, he doesn't touch me beyond cuddles, and last night he was busy with his laptop," I explained.
Cyan stood up angrily, "fine if you think he is hiding something let us investigate."
She drags me to our room before sitting me in front of his laptop.
"Okay, unlock it," she says.
What does she think we will find in his laptop? Whoever cheats using a laptop, the proof is probably in his phone.
I unlock the laptop annoyed, yes, I know all the pins and password of all Clayton's devices.
"There, what now?" I ask.
"I don't know, check his emails and stuff," she says, Clayton had all his social media linked to all his devices. Ugh... now I sound delusional maybe he is just busy.
"I can't invade his privacy Cyan," I say, Cyan rolls her eyes at me before she starts checking the socials herself.
There was nothing but his conversations with clients and his back and forth with Holly about Zoey's birthdays.
"See, he is not cheating," she says, I cannot help but sigh, maybe it is the hormones, well who am I kidding I just miss us, the usual and real us.
"I know… I will talk to him about it tonight," I say.
While we were at its Cyan decided to browse through the internet using his computer, "Oh lord," I gasp, this was insane.
Clayton's search history was the answer to all my questions, "oh... wow, seems you were right to worry, because this…."
"I know…... why didn't he even tell me," I grumble.
I felt really confused by this, he had always been upfront about things to me, so this was quite confusing.
"I will talk to him about this tonight," I say deflated, I said this before but now I was serious, we needed to discuss this.
Cyan had decided to help me in preparations for today, lack of communication does this to marriage.
I had decided to have dinner with Clayton alone in the garden instead of having a family dinner.
"Um… what is the occasion?" he asked bewildered.
"Just wanted to have dinner with my husband," I say.
He smiled at me before following me to the location of the dinner, I had made sure it was as romantic as possible, I wanted my husband back and tonight I was getting him.
After our small talk and a wonderful dinner, I decided to talk about the real reason for the date.
"I…. I saw your browser history," I say softly, he chokes on his drink, ah… I should have waited to say that.
"Oh."
"Why didn't you just ask me?" I speak.
He had been struggling with knowing if he should ask for s*x from me or not, thinking it would trigger my trauma.
"Well, I didn't want to trigger you, I thought you didn't want us to, a month ago you were so scared when I touched you, I got scared myself."
"I am sorry," I remember now, the fear I felt that night, I had spoken to my therapist about it, and we found our way through it, I should have told my husband I was okay.
"You don't have to, hey, I will wait," he says softly kneeling in front of me.
"You don't have to wait Clay, I am ready, I have been ready, I was so confused why you haven't been as intimate I thought you were…..."
"I would never get tired of you," he says.
We spent the rest of the night speaking about our marriage's intimacy, and urging each other to communicate more as we can get lost in translation if we don't say what is on our minds.
It felt good to have him kiss me without restraint, I missed him, everything about him. Guess the intimacy in my marriage has been restored.