[Kaleah POV]
"Hu…..." I feel like my world is crumbling, they support me so much and it is very overwhelming.
I cannot stop the tears, this is too much of a curve ball in my life, I don't think we can repair what we once had anymore.
I don't think he should continue to love and support me anymore; I should set him free; he should be free of all that is me.
"Hey," Clayton mutters.
I quickly dry my eyes before facing him.
I don't want this to go on, I think I should just set him free. But Zoey loves him so much, I don't think separating us would be good for her.
"Hi, how was work," I say, I miss him, I miss talking to him about his day, my day and everything else.
"It was okay, a bit too troubling but nothing I can't handle," he says before locking his eyes with mine. "You went to the hospital today? Is there something wrong?"
Ah, of course he knows, I had tried my best to not alert him about me going to the hospital, but it seems to be impossible to do so.
"Oh…. Um… I went to see if there is anything I can take for all the scars in my back," I lie, I hate lying to him, but I have no choice.
"Oh… as long as there is nothing life threatening, anyway please let me know if there is something major, okay?"
He has been really understanding of the boundaries I am making, but then again, he is a bit impatient, I know he doesn't understand me right now.
But I cannot explain, I cannot explain without making our situation even more dire, if I tell him our marriage would be ruined forever.
He walks to Zoey's crib hesitantly, there is more he is not saying, and I hate watching him walk on eggshells.
"Hey princess, how was your day." Zoey as usual is happy to see him, she bounces with happiness in his arms.
"Dada…..." she mutters, making me stiff, Clayton is also frozen shocked, he grins from ear to ear.
"Did you hear that, she called me dada, oh…" he happily spins her around and she giggles, her first words, he first words are dada.
I feel tears water my eyes, this is a happy moment, but can't seem to be happy, I was just thinking of ripping Zoey's family apart just now.
My chest feels tightened-up, the room seems to be closing in on me and suddenly I feel claustrophobic, I want to scream, but I can't. I fell on my knees making a loud bang, Clayton looked my way scared.
"Leah?" Clayton called as I was breaking down, he put Zoey back to her crib before rushing to my side.
I can't breathe, "Leah! Come on look at me, breathe," he continues to call me, calmly.
With every deep breath he guides me through everything, his voice is so soothing, "right, another deep breath," he calmly says.
He stayed with me on the floor until I was able to breathe again, "are you okay now?" he asked.
I nod yes, still in his arms, "you know she will learn calling you mama soon right, no need to be that sad." He teased.
I let out a chuckle, of course he is boatsful that Zoey call him dada. And I am thankful he didn't bamboozle me with the question of why I had a panic attack.
"I will sort it out, it is not going to affect us okay," I say determined, why should I be so selfish to deprive Zoey if this loving family.
"You can tell me, you don't have to carry this burden alone," he whispers frustrated.
"No, you do not have to worry, these are my own demons, and I will face them alone," I reply.
I will go to therapy, I will do everything to get rid of the insecurities, of the hate and disgust I have for myself.
After a week, the trial resumed, I was a mess, I hated that man so much, I had never wished death upon anyone but him, he ruined my life.
The judge was still being a biased trashy judge but with the new information diagnosing Ellen Mule of a mental disorder, his judge had pushed to get him under psychiatric arrest, but Joshua pushed that he gets psychiatric arrest after he serve his sentence.
After two days of back and forth the judge finally came with a verdict, a verdict he didn't seem to like giving, and to our surprise Ellen Mule was given 10 years in prison together with a psychiatric arrest after his sentence.
I felt a weight off my shoulder, I will not have to see that face again for a while, I will not have to think of him walking free, I broke down crying that instant.
"This is not the end you see of me," he keeps yelling while the police put him in handcuffs, I feel Clayton tighten his grip on my hand.
"Hey don't worry, it is all over now," he consoled, I really am happy to have him with me, he is the support I never thought I needed.
He drives us home where we find the rest of the family celebrating the end of the trial and our win.
Apparently, Uncle Sam made a few calls to make sure judge Naidoo was in check, since he was a judge himself it was easy.
Clayton called his uncle to thank him, we had a small celebration with the family for the end of this chapter of my life.
But this chapter was far from being closed, it was just the beginning, we were to bask in the pain forever.
I started therapy two weeks after the verdict, and it made me open up a bit more on the trauma and insecurities the incident left me.
But there was a problem that therapy cannot remove, a problem I had to get rid of myself. A problem I could not even confide in anyone, not even my friend, who was busy working on pushing back the art exhibit.
"Thank you for doing this, Taryn." I had called her to babysit. I wanted to do this quickly and get back to my life.
Taryn as a sweetheart didn't mind, I told Melisa and everyone that I was going to search for Zoey's birthday celebration stuff as it is almost November and her birthday month.
I hate lying to them, but it was better to lie than to have to tell them the real reason I was going out.
But I couldn't do it, I could go through with what I had gone there to do, I stood there until it was late, my phone ringing every second.
After a while I felt I needed to be upfront with him, scrambled for my phone and called Clayton, he deserves more that I could ever give him.
He arrived at the parking lot frantic after I called him, I slowly walked to the car before getting in. he was scared, even more scared than I was.
"Five hours, you have been missing for five hours," he mutters he looked messed up, his suit a mess, his hair not neatly combed.
"I…. I am sorry," I say in a low tone.
"Just tell me what is going on, I am worried about you Leah, tell me what is going on."
I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out, I can't tell him the truth, it would ruin him completely, I would live with the more guilt of destroying this man. I let out a defeated sigh, maybe the truth doesn't always set you free.
"I think we should get a divorce," I finally let out the painful words, words I'd rather not say, but telling the truth would hurt him more than these words could ever.
We could never recover, this is the end of us, we were never meant to be.