Lily • Rosa • Jeanine • Park
I headed home. My head full of thoughts. Again.
I was constantly gripping onto the peace of paper in my hand, clutching it. Overwhelmed by the sudden twist of situations I've been experiencing.
The calm night breeze flowed carefully from through my hair, to my dress, fanning them peacefully in the way it was meant to flow. Just the way nature made it. I was enjoying the warm, yet slightly breezy weather, rush in the streets, the fresh air running through my respiratory system, the clicking sound of my heels touching the floor in the rhythm of my steps. Everything. I was enjoying every moment of my exhaustible freedom.
During the lasting moments of my spirit free soul walking on the street in a bright red dress and nothing else above it, I surely did stole a few glances, because I knew. I felt them. They were like a sharp, significant but blunt arrowhead. Strongly noticeable, irreverent but completely irrelevant and meaningless. They didn't mean anything. It was just a little distraction for their filthy minds.
If I'd ever imagine what a sudden twist of situation is, this is exactly how I'd look like. Or at least how I'd imagine. Too hard to believe. Too sudden, obviously. Too hard to handle. Yet beautiful, because it's not followed by any plan. Anything natural. Only the way it is. Improvised by the rules of our existence.
• • •
In an unstoppable moment, I found myself in front of the door to my apartment. I stood there, silent. Thought. Such a pointless act.
• • •
The next morning~
The night before my school starting went as fast as water. Too fast.
But I still had time, the ceremonial welcome of new students will be held in the evening. So it's okay. I can stay stress-less for a little bit longer, and get my things ready in peace.
For hours I've been picking my outfit for the night, as there will be a lot of important people. The university I'm going to be studying on is not just any kind of university, but the most prestigious one in South Korea. Habit. I've always had some kind of weird luck in my studies. And didn't know why.
I received a phone call from Léo, offering me to take me to the school, and keeping each other company, in other words, accompany each other on the event. It suited both of us. I would leave a good first impression and he would not go alone. We'd kill two birds with one stone. And I needed a little help. So I agreed.
I started preparing myself for the event when my mom called. She solved all of my problems. With only an one call.
I visited a nail salon, then I went to pick up my outfit from a young lady's shop. It was sent by my mom! She said that she could somehow guess that I won't be completely able to pick my dress for the event without any overthinking. So she did it for me. And she even sent it 3 days before my arrival, so that the things won't be late, or it won't get damaged on the way. The package contained a simple, yet beautiful, faint gold, silk, slightly tight dress, reaching something in the middle of my calf, with a golden teardrop shape necklace, and a pair of transparent high-heeled shoes.

They looked stunning.
My mom knew how to express me through clothes. She knew me too well.
"Thank you." The young lady smiled at me as a response after handing me the package with my clothing.
If mom didn't pick the dress even before my knowing, I think I would be lost somewhere between my thoughts and the dress possibilities. Which wouldn't be beneficial neither for me, nor my mom, nor anyone else. Which only I was eternally grateful for.
• • •
While I was heading home, I thought about yesterday. About the young waiter. About if I should get in touch with him or not.
No matter how hard I think about it, I always ended up between 2 unsure options, but I was sure about one thing: call him no matter what. That was a sure answer. He left me with such a good feeling. With an inner interest. An inner must.
First, show an interest into being buddies/ friends with him. This option resonated in my mind. I knew that this option was so much for me. I craved for a caring, always there for me person. A person who wouldn't let me down, who wouldn't leave me behind. I had these people in my home country. But not there. And I am not capable of a mutual sense of security without them. I need current security and understanding. A person who will be by my side. Present. Physically.
On the other hand, I needed a leader. I needed support. A person who wouldn't need a guide. Someone who would lead their own way. Make decisions. Be able to believe themselves. Not to be dependent. Someone who you could trust any way. A lead.
Depending on my priorities, and my needs, they are absolutely equal. But different at the same time. This makes my decision making much more demanding. And important.
Not to mention that it will have a huge affect on my point of view. It would affect the every aspect of the way my mind works.
I have to think with both my mind and my heart.
• • •
10 minutes before my leaving. Six o'clock struck. My mind full and empty at once. Léo's car has arrived. A black Audi. I enjoyed watching him carry himself so elegantly. Stepping out of the car and walking towards. I already waited outside of the hotel, to clean my mind and to wait for him. He made his way up to me, stopping in front of me, offering his hand for support.
Complimenting me about my appearance, he helped me to get into the car, opening the door for me and making sure I don't hit my head while getting into the car and that my dress don't get damaged. A real gentleman.
While driving, we kept the dialogue going and slowly, after a while of driving, as the hotel wasn't that far from the school, we arrived at the school. Léo again helped me out of the car and we slowly started walking towards the entrance, stealing a few glances from every type of people, we maintained our respect and status even though we both knew we were dying laughing inside, when we exchanged glances.
Not even for a single second did I let go of the conversation. Making sure to always keep my pride, and being calm. Strategy.
After nearly an hour, the ceremonial was finally slowly starting. We were navigated to a large, spacious hall where we were supposed to sit and wait. Léo showed me our seats and we sat down when a middle-aged woman made her way to the podium. The ceremony started.
"Welcome, everyone!"
First words made sure. And after a long commencement she invited the principal. A very pleasant parson with a calm vibe. He spoke with a very obvious excitement. Until he released something I didn't expect. Something very sudden.
"...and because of that I'd like Mr. Victor Sacco to join us and say a few closing words."
•
•
•
If somebody would register my heartbeat he'd think that I'm probably dead. My heart was pounding uncontrollably. All of those unwanted scenarios that I prayed for them to never happen again, surfaced. When he spoke.
"Don't trust just anyone. World is a dangerous, and a very vulnerable place, that you can slip at any time and never stand up again. That's why, the only way of how to get through this situation is..."
He spoke with such a spontaneity and effortlessness that it was a zest listening to the words leaving his mouth.
But then he saw me. Our eyes met. Then he slowly continued.
"That's why, the only way of how to get through this situation is...decide who you trust."
My brain became numb after his words. He said them while he was looking at me. I had to disappear.
"Léo, I have to go to the bathroom." I released as the ceremony was about to end, while his eyes were still stuck on me.
"Okay, Lily. It's the end, anyway. You know where to find me. Take your time. I'll wait for you in my car, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. Thanks."
And I disappeared as fast as possible. To a place where he couldn't look for me.
After collecting my thoughts and deciding of my actions, I came of out the bathroom after straight 9 minutes and headed towards the parking lot, from where we've came from. As I run out of the building and spotted Léo's car, I quickly got into the car. As I opened the door of the back right seat and sat down, a sudden quiet voice approached me.
"Changed your mind?"
Those dark eyes swallowed me the moment I turned my head.
Fuck.
To be continued...