"WELCOME HOME!" Everyone I know yells at me as soon as she opens the door. I am taken aback by the sheer amount of people who are here.
This is my first full party at my place since the pandemic, yet because we waited for it, most of us are in very good health, with good enough lungs and energy levels, to party all evening long. Honestly, parties like this give me anxiety, my mama knows it but continues to throw them on my behalf.
My Mama has seemed to invite everyone I have known my whole life. All the girls from where I work. Some of my old college friends, even Ava, are here now looking as if she is going to pop anytime soon. I walk over to her and her billionaire lover.
"We heard what happened, your Mama told us you were coming home in a few days so I had Seth drive us all the way here since I am not allowed on a plane during the second trimester." She says this, pulling me into a hug. Ava smells like candied violets and vanilla. I need to ask her what she is wearing in hopes of being able to afford a dupe.
"I can't believe you drove all this way for me." Seth hands me a brown leather folder that is monogrammed and looks very expensive. I don't know this man, but he probably knows a lot about me since he is Ava's fiancee. She gets married to people too quickly, her ex was with her for a few weeks before they got engaged.
"This is for you to look through, it's business," Seth says as he winks with his left eye. I accept it, graciously knowing it is a huge favor. I know what information is in this. It's all about Blade's adoption and knowing Ava she found his brother's whereabouts. I would love to look into it, but there are about a dozen other people here I have to attend to.
"I'll be back around so we can catch up," I tell Ava as I walk over to the group of girls from work.
The girls from work all have a different assortment of white claws and some have flutes of wine. I give them all a quick hug. It's been weeks since I have seen them.
"The office isn't the same without you, Britney the intern can barely keep up with what you do." My boss Jules says handing me a card that is in a purple envelope. I can hear chatter behind me from girls my mams tried to force me to hang out with. They went to my Dad's church, they are rude and think their shit doesn't stink. I never use that kind of language but they get on my nerves. I might start using that kind of language it honestly feels good.
"That scar is hideous." One of them says referring to the scar that has formed on my shoulder from the accident. My eyes would roll into the back of my head if they could. Then I turn to them and give them the look.
"Hey, Alicia, you look so great after all that you have been through." One of them chirps at me their lies practically make their noses grow.
"Out," I say pointing to the door. They both head out the door and I want to do a victory dance. Those are the type of girls you see online acting racist and homophobic. Like they tried to bully a hijab off a girl and school and almost got expelled for calling her a terrorist. But since dad is a youth group leader, he found a way to help them. Fake Christians are what they are.
Someone taps on my shoulder and I turn around. As soon as I am fully turned around someone jumps into hugging me.
There is an energy to the hug as if someone is dousing it in joy.
"I am so glad you are better." I pull away from the hug and it is Erika, Blade's big sister.
"I am glad you are not with that douche anymore." As I say this I kind of want to take it back because I feel as if it is going to kill the mood. I wish my best friend was here because she is like a medic when I say things like this.
"I'm strong; I can stand alone and take care of everything I need to know." She explains, Blade walks over and suddenly I forget she is there. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and backs away from me quickly as he notices my mama glaring at us.
"This is a pretty boring get-together. " Blade says this and Erika slaps him and he winces in pain. She gives me an apologetic look
"You don't say that, it's rude." She scolds him her eyes looking as if they burn through his and she then walks away.
"I have my eyes on you and I will get you if you do anything to harm this woman." She puts two fingers up to her eyes and pulls them away to point at him.
"Noted sister." He says back with playfulness in his eyes. He doesn't seem scared of her.
"Let's get out of here." He says and I frown. I look out the window and it is raining and this is my party.
The rainy day comes as an invitation to rest, relax, to let the ever-steady moment have fun with family and friends. The rain has fallen steadily without letting up since I got home. I'm in no hurry for the clouds to vanish, returning us to the dry heat that is so customary at this time of year.
"Not right now, I would like you to meet my brothers. Is that okay with you?" I ask and he smiles.
"I would love to, maybe they know how to have fun." I can hear the sarcasm in his voice as he says this and I laugh.
I walk over to my bedroom, which I know is where they are hiding.
Deven and Wyatt. I walk in and they are playing my new Mortal Kombat game on my X Box one.
"Boys, I want you to meet a friend," I say this shoving him forward.
"Blade this is Deven he is thirteen, and the little one is Wyatt he is ten. Boys this is Blade, he lives next door." I introduce them to each other. The last introduction was with a crap guy I brought home that my family loved. It was all a blanket of lies. Marcell put on a mask and was not his true self around me. I still love that man no matter how hard I try not to.
"Do you play video games?" Wyatt asks with his newfound lisp. He had a few baby teeth pulled a week ago.
"Yeah, but I haven't played them since I was in secondary school." He says this and both the boys' mouths drop right open. They seem to be shocked and wondering how and the hell a person could not play video games.
"You have to play now, you are old, meaning it has been like a hundred years since you have played video games." They imply that he hasn't played in one hundred years and that makes me want to laugh. His eyebrows shoot up and a look of challenge shows up on his face.
"I'm going to hide in here and hang out with these guys because they seem to know how to have fun at a party." He says joining them and then sitting criss-cross apple sauce on the floor. He has a grin that I haven't seen before on his face.
"Teach me how to play, guys." He says and they look excited to teach a noob their skills.
"I am going to go back to the party, you boys be good," I say as I lock up the folder and close the door. The door creaks as I close it.
The party is in full swing with people talking and laughing as I get back to it.
Walking up to a tray I grab some food and eat some snacks. Walking to the bathroom, I knock to make sure no one is using it, and thankfully no one is. I clean myself up a little in the bathroom. My eyes focus on the massive scar that is now on my shoulder. I lean into the mirror and get a closer look at it. I haven't paid much attention to it. For some reason, I hate it, and knowing that I am going to have to live with it bothers me a lot. Someone knocks on the door before I can form my complete thoughts on it. Opening the door and walked out of the bathroom and then I walk over to my mama. She is smiling and talking to guests.
"Thank you mama for this," I say as she steps away from the group of girls from my work. She pulls me into a hug and I honestly can never get enough of these. Who doesn't love their mother's loving hugs? Her hug is so warm and it always makes me feel at home. I go to give her another hug this time it is more of a side hug.
I walk back to my room and check on the boys through the crack, that has always been in my door since I moved here. They are laughing and having a good time as guns fire and bombs explode. My mama sneaks up on me and asks,
"That is a good man, why haven't you introduced us sooner?"
"I don't know Mama, I guess we never really knew each other until recently." I look at him and sort of picture a better life.
A life I can live normally without all the worries of the police world. I could go to the clinic and work and come home to a family of my own. Somehow it seems something like that will never happen.
It took a long while for me to realize the difference between a house and a home. In the home that I have now, I feel relaxed. I can love myself. I can have balance within myself. I can be a strong wall for others because I was able to heal in this space. To share a home with a lover... that's the next dream... that's the next step... a lover who loves me the right way... I'm excited about that journey. First, I have to tie up loose ends and put away the bad guys so I can find myself a decent one.