There were a lot of people and I didn't keep on looking at the back. He would soon get to the front anyway and I'll also have to talk to him personally so I'm not worried about that. I looked at the front and waited for him to get there. When he got to the front, all I could was Axel. I tried to rub it off my head but all I could see was him walking towards Mr. Chin, the same walking style, the same height, and the same beautiful face. I even laughed at myself for this. I miss him so much and I can't blame myself for seeing him instead of Mr. Chin's son. It was better though, I felt happy that I was seeing his illusion, probably better than seeing nothing or no one at all.
"Hey,... Isn't that your boyfriend?" Shin whispered in my ear. That question shook me and I was paralyzed for a moment.
"Axel is Mr. Chin's son? Did you know it?" Min Jae on the other hand asked. I wasn't talking, I was numb, frozen, and rooted to the same spot, my eyes fixed on him. My mind wasn't playing tricks on me, it wasn't an illusion at all. It's him, no one else could have his beautiful face, and no one could have his walking style. He, he is Mr. Chin's son? How? How is it even possible? It can't be him, why does it have to be him?
"Even, say something, did you know about this?" Woo Jin asked but I didn't even have the energy to answer. Suddenly all my energy was gone and I couldn't talk anymore. It felt like something was stuck in my throat and I could not talk anymore. All I did was just stare at him in the front. It was him. I wanna run away from here. I'm willing to do anything so that it doesn't have to be him. This can't be true. My little bunny, why does it have to be him? Depression, Drugs, and Prison, That's what rotating in my head right now. I can feel it spinning and suddenly I feel like it's suffocating me in here.
"Hey, you okay?" Shin asked and I nodded.
"Hi, my name is Evel Chin... hmm... I... I hope y'all have a great night tonight..." I didn't want to listen to him anymore. It was irritating my ears and it felt like they were burning up.
"I need to use the washroom, I'll be back..." Shin was about to talk but I didn't let him because he would insist on coming with me. I needed to be alone to think straight. What did I get myself into?
I walked to the washroom, this was the hall where we first met, Mr. Chin likes it because the building is huge. I walked up the stairs and all I was thinking about was Axel, not just Axel but a depressed Axel who is not hiding his face, a drug addict Axel, and Axel in prison. The word prison scares me the most and I don't want to think about it. But still, how many times has he been in prison? At this age? Why does he have to do drugs? I scratch my head and then walked to the washroom. I opened the water tap and then ran the water over my face. I ran it over and over again because just one time wasn't helping at all. I wish I could erase all the images I'm having in my head right now. Images of Axel in prison, they scare me. I'm only staying at this party because of one thing, there's a gift we are planning on giving Mr. Chin as a group and I don't wanna let my members down. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here right now, what's the point of staying anyway? I wanted to see Axel but this is not the Axel I wanted. At the moment I don't want to see or talk to him.
"I knew you would come here... so I ended the speech once I saw you leave... I miss you" I turned around to yell at him but hue eyes are my weakness. It's actually the whole presence of him that's my weakness. How could I yell at him when he is so cute? How can I shout at those innocent eyes that are looking at me like that? How can I do it? I don't want to keep on looking at him. I turned around immediately and punched the mirror in front of me and it cracked. I'm supposing it didn't break because it's mounted on the wall. Then suddenly pieces of the mirror came crashing down, so maybe not.
"Hey what up? What's wrong why did you do that? You could gave hurt yourself you know?" He had run to me and taken my hand which was bleeding on patches.
"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'll do it myself," I said pulling the hand away from him immediately and rinsing it on the water. I had mixed feelings but my anger took control.
"Are you... Are you mad at me or something? Did I do something?... Why are you treating me like this?" Suddenly I felt guilty. I looked at those beautiful eyes that were now covered in tears. How can I resist them? How can I resist him?
I pulled him in and hugged him. I hate it when I see him crying, but it is much worse that I'm the reason he is crying.
"Tell me what I've done... I'll apologize... I'll say sorry as much as you want me to say... Is it because of my dad? I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... don't do that to me again... I was so scared when I thought that I would never see you again, it was so scary... I'm even still scared... I'm so scared... I'm sorry I know you called me but I didn't have my phone with me... I was...I was in a place where I couldn't use it... I thought I would never come back you know... I cried every day" He was clinging on to me and I hugged him tighter. Suddenly the anger I was feeling evaporated. Right now I was just mad at anyone who put him in prison. I feel like I could go and search for them and deal with them mercilessly, probably torture them until they beg for mercy.
"I'm sorry baby... I missed you so much too... I missed you every day, every hour, every minute, and every second that passed by... I was so worried because I didn't even get to know if you had recovered from your health... I was also scared... thought I had lost, you baby..." I said hugging him more tightly. I was even madder at Mr. Chin for leaving my bunny in prison. Can't he see it's traumatizing him? He looked paler than he was and he looks like he has lost some weight. What's worse is that my baby has been crying every day.
"Let's go home tonight okay?..." I said after breaking the hug and he nodded. I was taking him home with me tonight. If they can't protect my boyfriend then I was going to do it. I could do it much better than anyone because only I know how much he means to me.
"I'm not going back there though... It's so crowded... can I wait for you here? Will you come to take me home? With you?" he asked and trust me he is the only person who can speak this surely yet innocently and yet so emotionally.
"Yes baby, I'll take you home... to our home," I said and then kissed him. Suddenly my world came alive again and I was in a place filled with flowers and beautiful butterflies of all colors flying all around. This felt more like it. This was what I wanted and I only wanted it from only one person and I wanted it with him and him only.
"Wait for me here baby... I'll be back..." I said and pecked him again then went downstairs to the event.