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Chapter 43 - If Only

"Your Majesty, I must say that your cook must be one of the greatest in the world. I've never tasted such delicacies as I do every time I've been invited to the castle." My mother has the same thoughts I do about the blueberry tarts set before us at the Queen's afternoon tea.

"Thank you, Lady Raley," the queen accepted the accolade. "I have to admit that scrumptious food does make up a little for our husbands not getting to join this little party. Both seem concerned with castle safety after that…," Queen Valerie paused, looking in the direction of Liliana and Abrin. "… disgruntled townsman at the parade."

Queen Valerie was a wise woman, but her cover story for not upsetting my siblings felt off. How much was the king letting her know? The Swordmen were planning much more than just castle safety.

"I am just glad that I get to spend some time with my future family," Alina beamed. Cali's misplaced spoon clamored onto her tea cup saucer causing the party to jump.

"My apologies," Cali offered as Alina nudged her with her elbow.

"No harm done." My mother smiled widely, trying to settle any nerves around the room.

"I have to admit, I had another motive for calling you all to tea. I hoped to set a wedding date. King Caderyn told me that the two future newlyweds were unsure and that is why one was not announced in court. Maybe with the help of Lady Raley and myself, we can find one suited for all." The Queen smiled conspiratorially with my mother.

Alina and I exchanged a confused look. We were not the ones that delayed the announcement. Why would King Caderyn lie to his wife?

Cali forcefully setting down her own teacup with a clang brought us both back to the conversation. Cali pointedly looked at Alina, challenging her to speak up.

"Mother, I think there must be some miscommunication. The last time I thought about wedding dates was that day you were involved in planning. Father was given the list of dates we discussed. If he has not approved one with you, then he is the one to blame for the delay." Alina stirred her tea before taking a sip.

Queen Valerie's royal mask of confidence slipped for a moment. Her lips pursed and brow furrowed. Something did not add up in her calculations. She caught my eye and replaced her worried expression with a more pleasant one.

"Ah. I will speak to the King again. Maybe the list was misplaced. I will discuss it with him the next chance I get," Queen Valerie assured us with a wide smile.

For some reason, my stomach churned. I set down my tea and tart, hoping not to see them both again in the presence of just dignified people. Was the thought of marriage really that repulsive to me? It must be nerves.

I have to help my kingdom. This is how. I breathed deeply. I looked over toward Alina and instead was met with the earnest eyes of Cali. I must have concerned her when I passed up food.

I shook my head to tell her it was nothing. A tender moment with someone so battle ready as Cali touched my heart. Maybe I could lead.

Alina took an opportunity as she saw one. With my guards being the closest to us, her guards were out of earshot if she spoke quietly.

"Mother, when you do speak to father, please inquire after my guard situation. These men, although dutiful in their mission, are a bit stifling," Alina's inquiry was barely above a whisper with her cup in front of her lips, however that was enough.

That was enough for my brother to hear, that is. "I'll take them! If Princess Alina doesn't want them, I'll take them!" Abrin stood. Jumping up and down, he almost knocked over the teacup and saucer set before him.

The only saving grace of my brother's imprudent announcement was that he didn't actually say that he meant the guards. Hopefully that saved Alina some embarrassment.

"Abrin, we cannot go taking things that are not offered to us. Please sit down and drink your tea. We can talk about this later," my mother gently scolded. Abrin sat back down with an unceremonious plop.

I think Abrin could have a battalion of guards at his disposal and it still might not be enough. Would Abrin have to train to be a Swordsman in my stead?

It was thoroughly assumed that my uncle would carry the sword next. He hardly left my father's side. For the clan of stag, more often than not, the current swordsman picked his successor. Unlike the other clans, our sword was passed by being the next to wield it in battle or ceremony. If you want someone else to wield it after you, it's easiest to keep them close.

Would my uncle pick Abrin just like he originally chose me? I wonder if my father ever had any doubts about training my uncle to be next? How had I never thought to ask these things before?

I had not realized the conversation around the table continued without me until my name was called.

"Is that right, Sir Jacobson?" Queen Valerie asked.

"I am sorry, My Queen, what was the question?" I looked at Alina and Cali for help but they both looked like they were stifling laughter. Cali's shoulders shook with silent giggles. Alina refused to look me in the eye as her smile continued to grow.

The queen smiled and cleared her throat. "Ah, the castle captures my attention too sometimes," she replied, giving me more grace than I deserved. "I said that I should have guessed you had marriage in your mind with the way you danced at Alina's ball. Such a pile of nerves will make anyone miss a step or two. Isn't that right?"

"Something like that, Your Majesty." I could feel my face flush. If only that were true