"Breathe!" my father whispered to me. I let out the air I had unknowingly been keeping in. By now I should know better. The sound that escaped me with that breath was far from stately.
I stepped forward and bowed. The first part of the petitioner's speech should be easy. It was the rest that my uncle coached me while coming to the palace that I hoped to remember. I looked toward Alina to try and will myself into being courageous.
"My gracious sovereigns." My voice slightly cracked but the words were still clear. I took another breath.
" His Majesty King Caderyn, Her Majesty Queen Valerie and Her Highness Princess Alina. May you live long and your reign be fair and just. If it pleases the house of the phoenix, may I request permission to petition the court?" So far so good. I hadn't tripped in front of everyone and had not forgotten my words yet. Maybe this would be painless. Or had even that thought jinxed me?
"It so pleases the throne" the king's smirk was no longer hidden and his words were filled with pride. Did he really want me as a son-in-law or did it just delight him that his plan was being put in place?
"I thank thee for listening to the petition of your humble servant." I took a moment to breathe. It cleared my mind and momentarily I forgot my script. Unlike the last few petitioners, the words of my petition were tradition. "I am Sir Jacobson, son of Lord Jacob of the clan of Stag. I have come to ask my gracious and benevolent sovereigns for the hand of their daughter, Princess Alina, in marriage" I could hear gasps around the room. Courtiers were more dramatic than any player on a stage.
"Who can speak of your honor and justice?" The king recited his line with his smug smile.
"I will. I am Sir John of the clan of Stag. His intent is honorable and his actions are just" my uncle chimed. My throat was dry. I could feel my heart racing. At least I had a moment before I had to speak again.
"Is he generous and kind?" The queen rang out. The heat on my face was growing, but the warmth in her tone temporarily made my heart calm.
"His generosity is boundless and his kindness is immeasurable." My uncle's face held a sad but proud smile. He made it through his lines. He locked eyes with me for a brief moment.
"Are you loyal to Ensis?" The king continued.
"My devotion to my country is unyielding". I breathed to steady myself. I knew the next line by heart and it would hurt the most. I thought about the image of King Caderyn laying on the floor and my resolve strengthened.
"I petition to join the house of the phoenix upon my marriage if Princess Alina's hand is granted to me. I will forsake my clan and hold Ensis most dear." I got through the speech but could feel the lump in my throat growing. I looked at Alina again to measure her reaction. Her blue eyes were filled with tears, but her weak smile was growing. She nodded her encouragement. She deserved to be loved far greater than I was capable.
"Are these terms acceptable to your clan and country?" The queen's voice never wavered, filled with joy.
"These terms are acceptable to the Guardian of the Crown, the leader of the crest of Stag as the keeper of the sword Capreolinae. I, Lord Jacob, will allow Sir Jacobson to renounce his clan upon his wedding day." My father's words were formal and unfeeling, but we both knew how much those words hit us.
This path was not the one we both imagined from my childhood. He breathed deep. His job was done. His hand clamped down on my shoulder. An affectionate display that I rarely saw from my father in public. He was proud of me, but was also mourning a loss of what could have been.
"A gentleman of such noble character pleases the throne . Does this please the people?" The king beamed with pleasure.
"It pleases the people," the crowd in the throne room replied in unison.
"So shall it be done! The herald will announce when a date has been set" King Caderyn glowed with pride. I would be his successor.
The room erupted in chatter. Well wishes, questions of dates, and descriptions of Alina as a bride could be heard from around the room. My head was spinning as it was without the cacophony. I threw on a smile as several courtiers approached me for handshakes and greetings. All wanted to be among the first to wish me health and happiness.
My eyes found Cali, shoulders slumped and defeated. She could not fight this battle any longer. She met my eyes. I couldn't read her expression. The corners of her mouth raised painfully into what I could only describe as a grimace. She then pulled her hood over her face, squared her shoulders to the door and left.
My heart ached to follow her. The reasons why seemed to be ever growing. I was not one who enjoyed being the center of attention and I just threw myself into the spotlight indefinitely. This was going to be harder than I ever imagined.
"Order!" The king boomed, quieting the room. "To allow for celebration, petitions will be continued two days hence. Tomorrow there will be a parade in honor of the happy couple. Go forth and spread the news."
The queen embraced Alina tightly. It looked like Queen Valerie was crying happy tears. Alina held her mother gently. The moment felt tender enough that I felt I was encroaching on their privacy by even looking in their direction. I suppose nothing is out of the public eye as a Royal.
The court cleared quickly. I could feel my stomach protest all of the attention. My mind wandered back to the last thing I heard. What do you even do in a parade