#Chapter3
/"The merger document?/" I asked, peering at his computer screen. He nodded and I hit print before walking back to the printer. His document was printed out and I stapled it before handing it to him.
Theo watched my every move, his intense gaze made me feel uncomfortable, but I couldn’t look away. He turned and walked out without a word. I inhaled a greedy breath of air, not realizing I was holding it all in. I made my way back to my own desk. Theo had been acting weird since last week. I had caught him staring at me more times than I could count.
Tobias had even been on edge lately. I heard them arguing over something the other day. I tried to tune it out as best I could as their relationship was none of my business, but it made it a little awkward and tense around the office.
Tobias remained in his office all day in one of his moods. The only time I heard from him was when I transferred calls to his phone line. Before I knew it, it was 5:30 PM. Where had my day gone? Mr. Kane and Mr. Madden left at 5:00. I finished shutting everything down before switching the lights off and heading to the parking lot. Once there, I grabbed my phone charger and some warm clothes to change into and piled everything into my bag.
I had to be back to my car before Tom locked up. Tom worked a few hours in the morning and then came back at night to empty the trash and scrub the floor before locking up the garage and rolling down the doors at 9:00 PM. It gave me plenty of time to visit my mother before heading back.
Walking through the empty parking garage, I came out on the ground floor level, on the park side. Cutting through the park I headed towards the big blue neon sign that sat atop the hospital across from Kane and Madden Industries. Mater Hospital. Every day I walked over to check on her. Making my way to the second floor, I headed to the wards. Room Eighteen, bed five. I was lucky the hospital was so close to my job, I couldn't imagine trying to fight traffic and taking away the precious time I had with her.
My mother had been there for just over three months. I took a seat in the sterile room. I hated hospitals, they always smelled of hand sanitizer, and this particular ward reeked of death. No, my mother didn't have some debilitating chronic illness. I actually wished that was the case. No, my mother Lila Riley was in a coma.
She'd been driving home from work from a local bar, and a drunk driver ran a red light, smashing into her. Her car was a total write-off, and they had to use the jaws of life to get her from the vehicle. She had been in a coma ever since. The doctors told me she was brain dead, that the only thing keeping her alive was the machines she was hooked up to.
The hospital said they could keep her that way and hope to see some change even though it would be a miracle. I had managed to push it to nearly four months after I appealed their decision to turn off life support. I was still waiting to hear back from the Medical Ethics Council. I knew it was a battle I would lose. But for now, it had brought more days with her.
It was only a matter of time before they pulled the plug on her and told me I had to say goodbye. Also, the reason why I lived in my car. Mum’s medical bills were expensive, and even when it came the time to switch her off, I would have to live in my car for at least another two years before I finished paying it off. My medical insurance covered a dependent child or spouse so it was of no use. My mother didn’t even have medical insurance. She worked cash in hand and struggled to keep a job for long.
I know most people think it's wishful thinking that she would wake up, but I just couldn't give up on her. She taught me to walk, talk, use a spoon, and how to ride a bike. She had been by my side from the start. She was my first friend. In fact, she was my only friend. She raised me as a single mum from the time I was born. My father walked out when he found out she was expecting. I never met the man and quite frankly didn’t care to meet him.
I lost our house after three weeks of not being able to pay the mortgage. It turned out we were already months behind when the accident happened, and my mother kept it from me. I had to choose to keep mum alive or keep the house. I chose her. I knew she would have done the same for me. I knew I was delaying the inevitable, but how do you kill your mum? Kill the one person who spent your entire life loving and supporting you? When the time came, I needed to know I had tried everything, or I knew I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt.
I looked down at my mother, she appeared to be sleeping, besides the tube hanging out of her mouth that forced her to breathe, that kept her alive. She had numerous tubes hanging out of her skinny arms. My mother used to be strong, lively, and happy. She looked younger than her age. With her blonde hair that was just below her shoulder blades, she had excellent skin, no wrinkles, pink full lips, and a tan complexion. She looked great for a 45 years old.
But now her skin had turned gray from the lack of sunlight, and her hair became oily and flat as she lost the ability to care for it daily. She had lost all her weight and muscle mass and was now skin and bone. She was literally wasting away in this hospital bed. Sitting in the blue chair, I scooted closer to the bed and grabbed her bony hand.
/"Hey Mumma, I miss you./" I brushed her hair off her forehead where it is stuck to her skin. I listened to the beep of her heart monitor, hearing it beep regularly and the sound of the ventilator forcing her to breathe. It was the same set of sounds every day. I used to come and sit with her for hours and tell her about my day or read to her. But after a couple of months, I just came to tell her I loved her. I had run out of things to say.
I missed her soft voice telling me everything was going to be okay. I missed the way she made everything look effortless. Lila Riley may not have been a perfect mother, but she'd been perfect to me. Yeah, she had a drinking problem, but other than that, I know she did the best she could with the hand life had dealt her.
There was never a lack of love, and no matter how bad I fucked up, she was always there to help me pick up the pieces and rebuild.
When I watched her, I thought of all the things she will miss, and all the memories she won’t get to be a part of.
After sitting with her for a while, I quickly ducked into the small bathroom. The nurse Sally was on night shift tonight and always let me shower here. It was the only time I got to shower with warm water. Not hot, but like lukewarm bathwater as the showers were temperature regulated. Still, I didn't complain. Warm water was far better than cold. The other people in this room needed assistance and were bedridden like my mother, so I didn't have to worry really about anyone opening the door, but I always locked it just in case a cleaner or nurse decided to stop in.
Showering quickly, I washed my hair and my body, making sure to scrub extra good while I had the power of warm water. When I was done, I hopped out, dried myself off, and slipped into my track pants so I didn’t have to try and change in the cramped car. I also slid my feet into some socks before putting on a pair of flats. I then jammed everything back into my oversized handbag before making my way back to my mother’s side to say goodbye.
Sitting on the table next to my charging phone were some club sandwiches. Sally must have come in while I was in the shower. She knew my situation and that I hadn't had much left over after I paid the hospital, so every shift she was on, I would always find sandwiches or any leftover food from the cafeteria on the table waiting for me.