Soo guys
I won't be posting as frequently, I'll probably reduce it to twice a week
Also guys I started my own podcast,
Just in case you want to interact with the podcast, there are several links on my IG page, @simp4_Tomi
Paula's POV.
After several hours of reassurance and convincing, I think I was finally able to convince Trisha to go back to work.
"But I can't go back to work, we haven't even started packing!", She retorted
"Then I'll start packing. Besides, we have like two more weeks before we completely move out!" I said.
"Well, you aren't feeling too good. Let me stay one more week, and, and after that I'll go back to work!"
"Are you really using that on me. We both know if that happens, you won't even go back to work!".
"Are you sure you'll be fine!?", Trisha asked, obviously worried.
"Of course baby, completely. Plus I won't feel lonely, I have Giselle… remember!?"
"Okay, fine, Giselle is around!", She said, and here I was starting to hope she gave up!
"But, what if we are bothering her. Won't it be a hassle!", She said, obviously she hadn't dropped the idea.
"Trisha, I'll do just fine!"
"I'm just worried!
"I know baby! But I'm doing fine, why don't you go to work. That way you can get me my favorite doughnuts on the way!"
Trisha and food, God only knows how she maintained her figure. The minute I mentioned food, she agreed almost immediately.
I knew she only agreed at the spur of the moment, she'll probably bombard me with calls later.
Other than the fact that she wouldn't stop calling me all week, Giselle helped me with packing most of the things at the house.
Packing was so much harder than I thought. Every corner I looked, I had a memory there.
Giselle had successfully convinced me to sell things we couldn't move and things that held too many memories.
"I feel that you should only take things that are very important, you can sell the rest. I think that it's unfair that only you gets to reminisce the painful memories. You literally gave the man your heart. He's just a fool who doesn't see it!", Giselle said.
Her words really hit me because they were the truth, the bitter truth.
Not only am I healing and getting rid of every memory of my toxic husband, it was a great way to earn money.
Most of the things in the house are in beautiful condition and they cost a lot.
I sighed yet again, wondering how today was going to turn out.
Giselle had honored my request, here we were, driving towards the cemetery where my first husband was buried.
I couldn't stop sighing, it might sound silly, because I do not know how to face him. You might think, 'how silly, worrying about someone who's long dead!'
But this man, I genuinely loved him, yes the type of love that burns someone, where you'll do anything to ensure the other person's safety.
The week before he died, we decided to have another baby, we were supposed to start trying after he came back. The smile on his face as he spoke about it!!
I know he's in a better place, he better be! He didn't deserve the death, but it happened anyway.
I didn't even know we had gotten there, Giselle's tapping seemed to pull me from my reverie.
In my all black ensemble and bare face, Giselle didn't come with me as I headed to his tombstone, his favorite flowers in hand, sunflowers just like his personality.
Tears started to cloud my vision, not because I haven't moved on from his death, okay maybe I haven't but, even if I still get nostalgic, I guess I have moved on to an extent.
Except, this time, facing him, I felt disappointed because I felt like I failed him. I failed everything he built with his blood, sweat and tears.
Coherent words couldn't be formed as multiple streaks of tears came rushing down, when they finally did, I couldn't help but apologize for some reason.
"IM IM SORRY!!"
The tombstone was clean, and there were similar flowers to the kind I was holding, which meant Trisha had come here earlier.
Silly girl, she didn't want me to worry, she thought I had forgotten!
I stayed for a while, reiterating how it happened and how bad I felt.
I felt better.
Telling him everything, I felt lighter, a heavy weight lifted off my chest