The salty air drew and slithered past the netting of the window, tangling with the golden rays of the sun. Maya threw her fist at the sack. It jerked back, reeling from the blow. Its somewhat mouldy covers sent waves of disgust down her body but she ignored it. Her muscles hammered, pulsing in a haphazard fashion. She drew in breath after breath, holding steadily to the gulps of oxygen. She drew back, her heart running in a wild race.
A cackle lit deep in the crevice of her mind. The darkness pulsed, straining in the little vault. She pushed down on the barrier, throwing up walls upon walls. It hissed, taunting and shrilling, louder and louder. The darkness pushed past the walls, barging at the locked door of the corridor. Loud and clear.
Spasms of headaches ensued, searing with the heat of a flame. She gritted her teeth, her insides clenching. Her vision drifted back and forth, disfiguring and aligning. The dark cloud heaved, clawing and raging. Its bellows echoed, causing her to wobble.
"I am in control." she whispered to herself, buckling under the force of the oppressive cloud. She stumbled and wobbled, her feet unable to hold up the weight. Her stomach lurched, filling once again with the distant song of gore. She rested against the wall, between a wardrobe and the door. Her blood roared to her, turning to the tides of the darkness that leaked. Her breathing spiraled, bleeding from all the pain in her chest.
Her eyes took to the floor, grazing the reality of its wood. Darkened wood, stripped with light scuff marks; like her childhood bedroom. The darkness kicked down the door with a bang, its horrors filled the rim of her vision. The corridor overrode with screams and lashes. Reality ebbed away as a memory brought her down to its gloomy waters.
Maya's shoulders heaved, bobbing to the haphazard flow of her coughs. Her body racked as dots plastered her vision. The dark splotches of red that had engulfed her hands. She rested against the floor, her body subdued by the darkness. Her fists clenched, hoping to squeeze the reality. The coppery scent continued to draw her out of the physical, turning her to the dead weight of dark emotions. To the flame of guilt, that singed and shriveled, the trees of life shed been given. To the shadows of fear, that danced and basked the bare light. To the monster of anger that slumbered deep in its chest, that had made her a worker of its atrocities.
Her eyes prickled, burning from the bathed vision of red. Her throat tightened, watching far away, her body collide against another. Her chest constricted, barely grasping the lungfuls of air. Her body trembled, toying with the darkness as they drew her further and further. The door across the room banged open. The noise colored her in the blackened shade of fear. She pulled to the wall, her head bowed to the ground. Her world spiraled, shaking out of control.
Footsteps edged a distance away, she pulled at the hem of her tunic, darkened by the mass of red. A shadow spewed across the stripped floor, hazing in and out, mirroring the dance of the sun outside the window.
"Maya." The voice gently said. She pulled her knees to her chest, her eyes still trained on the floor. The dark throb pulsed behind the glare of her eyes. A pair of pale legs interrupted her stare, she pulled into herself. The roars of blood sped down the corridor. A soft hand brushed her hair. She flinched, the image from far away of her fist pummeling into a boy.
"Stay away from me." She whispered, a tremble in her voice. Her throat wracked, her chest bobbed at a faster pace. The flame of guilt drew more of her wellness, gaining its momentum.
"Look at me, Maya." Her mother's voice urged. Maya continued to stare at the white-pale of her mother's legs. The white dainty linen of goodness stained by the dark splotches of shed blood, unclean now to the holies of holies.
"Leave me alone." She whispered again. Pain seared through her throat. Her hair crackled as she drew into herself more.
"Why would I do that?" Her mother whispered, her hand gently finding its way to her chin. She raised her head to meet her gaze. Her gray eyes sparkled with compassion and light, differing from the shadows in Maya's. The answer to the question sent a shard through her, she pressed her lips together. To remain strong to her title. Furiousa. A bitterness crawled over her tongue down the length of her body. Her eyes prickled once again, mistiness swirling over. The trinket around her mother's neck glistened slightly.
"Cause I'm such a monster." A tear prickled, slipping through her defense. The dampness reigned among them despite the brightness of the afternoon sun.
"No-"
"Don't sugar coat it!" She yelled. Another tear slipped, rejecting their orders. "I know what I am, you don't need to pretend!" Her heart lurched, grasping onto their meanings.
"I know you hate me! I know you think I'm a sick and twisted child that derives pleasure from hurting people!" she smiled sadly, her vision blurring from the tears. Her hands grasped her tunic, her heart gasping from the pain latched onto it. She sniffled, her hands balling into fists.
"I know you wish I wasn't born." She whispered, her tears coming in full force. Her limbs shook, dragging through each emotion's darkened musk. Her mother's arms pulled her into an embrace. Her body racked with sobs as she grasped unto her tunic. Her cries mixed with her mother's breathing and then the tapping of the light drizzle against the latched windows. She soon stopped, the hollowness resounding within her. Her sniffles broke the silence once in a while.
"I would never, ever, wish you weren't born." Her hand grazed her cheek as she pulled away slightly. Her lips curved into a slight smile, lighting up her features.
"You are a gift. Your anger is the monster. You are not it, neither is it you." She covered her hand with hers, her pale fingers covering Maya's tanned ones.
"Life is not full of woes and pains to break us down but to make us stronger. One day, you will look back and laugh, knowing fully well that you have conquered all. But know that before that and even after, we all love you so much." Maya snorted despite the mood.
"We? I can't even count up to two people in this isle that can stand me talk-less of love. Even my own father can't." A bitter laugh clawed out of her throat.
"You're pretty much the only one who can bear to look at me for more than a minute." She wiped her eyes, shrugging to ward off the painful clench of her heart. Her mother's gaze softened in return. A soft shimmer of peace tied the pulse of darkness to a spot. But with the roar of a bear and the barge of the door, the darkness floored her once again.
She jerked out of the memory, a wave of betrayal churning through her. The dark and grimy cloud led a stampede down the trailing hills of her mind. The loud rage rang and bounced, shifting the walls of reality and turning to the mush of a memory.
Maya watched from outside the door, her baby brother in a cot deep in the room. A small giggle erupted from him as her mother played with his nimbly fingers. The sound entranced her, filling her mind with a renewed delight. Her mother looked up from where she stood hunched over the cot.
"Come on in. Your father won't be angry." She called softly, her smile beckoning her over. Maya took a step inside. Her bare feet bristled under the prickles of wood. Her heart leapt in her throat. The room began to shift, silently taunting her. The dark oasis hissed, baring its teeth at her. Don't you dare, it said. The loud and silent voices crackled through the dark crevices of her mind.
"Come on." Her mother's voice broke through the darkness' trod. Her breathing hitched. The shadows behind every object wiggled and danced. Every sound conjured loud in her mind. Tap. Tap. Clack. Clack. The assault of darkness and cackles broke through her heavy walls. A soft hand jolted her from her reverie.
"He won't be angry." She repeated, her fingers softly entwining with her own. A tremor shook her. She nodded weakly, her eyes brushing around fearfully. The loud and dark pulse throbbed behind the thin veil. She nodded and was led forward. The wardrobe to her left stood tall and daunting. Papa bear will get you for this, it stated. Her hold on her mother's hand tightened.
The bed and the pillows joined in the fun, pirouetting in the absolute chaos. She stopped, trying to pull out of her mother's grasp. The blood roared, seeping down at accelerated rates.
"Calm down." The cackling rang through the air. The horrors in the air hovered above her like fog. She took on the warning key of the environment. Get out when you can little girl, they hissed with fangs piercing into her bravery. She pulled out and ran, slipping from her mother's grasp. Her footsteps drowned with the pounding of her heart, the darkness overshadowing her whole.
Too late, they said. The loud footsteps echoed in the corridors of her mind. He stood at the doorway and she forced herself to a stop. His dark eyes looked at her with a bare glare of hatred. She stopped. Her heart thundered as her bones shook. Her throat clogged, her lungs barely latched to the oxygen provided. Papa bear will punish you, they mocked.
Her mother pushed her behind her, her body blocking his burning gaze.
"Haven't I told you several times to not allow this insolent girl into the room?!" Maya ran to the corner, barely holding herself up.
"She just wanted to see her brother!"
"And infect him with her blood lust? N-"
"How hypocritical could you be?!" Maya's chest exploded with pain. Her ears rang. The darkness pushed past the veil, filing her mind with gores and grime. She hugged her knees to her chest. She buried her face in between her legs. Her parent's voices filled the room. The dark oasis screeched at her, coloring her in a darker shade of dread. Look at what you've done, they screamed. Her eyes clouded with tears.
Her breathing spiraled out of control. The cries of her brother cut them off. The sound of shuffling rose up. Soon, her mother was nestling beside her.
"He's gone." She whispered, running her hands through her hair. She raised her head, the cot, a little distance from her, was empty. The dark oasis remained silent.
"I think you should join them." She whispered, her throat aching. She rested her head on her knees, roughened by the mar of scars.
"Why?" Her mother asked.
"I'm the cause of all your fights. It's s not worth fighting him because of me." Her mother pulled her into her side.
"You have no reason to blame yourself and you are worth fighting for. Even if it means sacrificing myself a hundred times just to see you smile, I will do it within a heartbeat."
Her breathing hitched. Her body reeled from the oppressive throb. Sweat dripped down her neck, bobbing down her body. The darkness pulsed and reshuffled, the insults picked through the corridor. One sentence after the other. Each one drew her asunder. She pushed against them, kicking at the dreadful shadows. The darkness drew back, answering to her brain's push. She threw up wall over wall and pressed them into a vault. They itched and banged, slithering and wiggling in their bonds.
After a few minutes passed, they finally stopped. A calm descended over her whole again. The traces of darkness seeped away. Her back rested against the wall, the light smooth wall cushioning her body's ache. She drew her knees into her chest, her neck prickled from the absence of the companion.
It'd been two months since they boarded the ship. Two months since she'd discovered those secrets. Two months since she'd lost control over her memories. Opposite where she sat bunched up between the door and the wardrobe, was a small cot pushed to the wall. A lantern lay on a small stool beside the bed, its companion prickled her heart thinly. The trinket beckoned her over silently, calling for her companionship. She gritted her teeth, despising herself for her weakness. She had tried to throw the trinket away but she never could bring herself to do it.
The thought of her banishment and how much was unsaid crept into her mind. She rubbed her legs. The whole need to know. To understand every strange decision made in the past. A memory bubbled up, drenching her in its foul reality.
Her father held the baby in his hands. The boy cooed as he grasped onto the mans large thumb. Maya watched the man from where her mother held her close. His shoulders were slumped and relaxed. His fists were not clenched. His body image presently was a stark contrast to the one she knew.
"That's my boy." He said softly. Pain laced through the word, piercing her sharply with talons. She shifted slightly in her mothers hold, eyeing him.
"Why do you hate me?" The question slipped past without her meaning for it to. Her breath quickened as he resumed his normal pose. Fists clenched. Shoulders tensed. Her mother's grip on her tightened, unamused to the threat. The atmosphere clouded with danger. A silence stretched out, louder than what had followed before. Her fear dragged her down to its shade, giving her a dark glass to look through. The fear rippled within her as the fresh wound on her arm pulsed. The answer to his wrath's mockery.
"The less you know, the better off you are." His voice was distant, as if shifting away from reality. He soon dropped the baby back in his cot and walked out.
She jolted out, gasping above the water. The truth. She balled her fists, clenching them tightly. The Cabinet Representative hardly gave her the time of day for someone whom had a nefarious agenda for bringing her. She lifted herself from the floor, feeling her stomach rumble. She eyed the sack that hung from a rope connected to the ceiling. Images of her pummeling her fist into it flitted her mind just to keep herself busy. The urge to keep inside stirred within her. Her belly rumbled again, seeking for its daily refill.
She ignored it, shuffling back to her bed. She drooped onto it, lying across the haphazardly placed quilt. The thick material spoke of the bright central colors before circling the highly esteemed figure of an owl. From what she'd heard while she ventured about the ship yesterday, they'd gone past the Central border and were well on their way to the Capital. She'd see the man she had longed to hurt for the past five years. Despite all the truth she had figured, a flicker of anger still slashed through her. If she had been alive, she swallowed harshly. She would have asked her why.
A knock broke through her train of thought. Her gaze flickered to the wooden door, she trudged to it in a few strides. She unlatched it before it fell back on its hinges revealing Amelia. Diane was no where in sight. Guilt of her lashing out on both of them and avoiding them churned her stomach. Despite their distance, Amelia bounded towards her and enveloped her in a hug. Her body tensed, hardening under the soft material of her black tunic.
"We've finally reached the Capital!" She giggled, her smile lighting up the dark atmosphere. Before she could respond, Amelia dragged her out the door.
I want to thank God for giving me the Grace to write this. It seemed kind of boring though. Her memories are really out of control now. Anyway, vote and comment if you like.