-Chapter 6-
That day I returned feeling guiltier than ever. Did I really want to trade my only friends for an unsavory truth about the world?
I limply opened the front door of our home. Mother greeted me. She offered food, but I wasn't hungry. She offered care, but I wasn't deserving.
I found my way to my bed, and became asleep, and yet fully awake.
"I can't do it anymore." I thought to myself, "Why bother?" I believed I could take refuge in the truth I just paid for, but it provided me no comfort. "Why is it that I continue on living like an animal, when I've done nothing wrong?" I corrected myself, now I had done something wrong. I'd wronged my friends. "I… I might as well just kill myself now. Why continue to live in a world solely designed for my punishment?"
Something reached out to me in my new lowest state.
"Remember?" It said,
"Remember what?" I replied to the invisible entity. A rush of moving-photo-memories filled me with nostalgia.
"Do you know about the outside?" Keshet had once asked,
"No," I answered, "None of us do. The guards tell us never to inquire of such things."
"It's really big. There are mountains, hills that seem to go up and up forever. There are valleys, they reach into the core of the Earth farther than the eyes can see. There are vast oceans; bodies of water that sprawl across the entirety of our planet."
"Where did you learn this?"
"I found it in a book, supposedly it belonged to my Grandad."
"Really? You aren't just repeating myths that have no truth?"
"Of course! I would never lie to you Lavi."
"If you're right… Let's take everyone outside one day. Everyone in town will be able to sprawl across the Earth, from the core of a valley, to the tallest mountain. If there aren't enough of us, one day our descendants will be capable."
"Yes! We have to!"
I blinked, and flashed back to reality. Once again, I was lying on my cold, hard, real bed.
"Lavi!" Mother hollered, "You have to eat something!" I walked to the kitchen. "It's your birthday dear, what do you wish to have?"
I contemplated my options.
"Can we just have curry tonight?"
"Nothing fancier?" She asked. I shook my head. "Alright then." She readily began preparing the meal, as we already had the ingredients.
We sat and chatted while preparing the food, then began to enjoy our hearty meal.
"Thank you." I said after I had finished. I put my plate aside, and began to excuse myself.
"Keshet, wait. I have a present for you."
"Oh, come on Mom. You know you didn't have to go out and buy me a charm."
"It's not from me." Mother answered. I paused.
"Keshet's?" She shook her head, "Naomi's?" She shook her head again, "Well then whose is it?"
Mother reached into her deep coat pocket, and took out a white envelope. She extended her arm to hand it to me. On top, it had my name written in nice handwriting.
"Thank you." I said, grabbing the letter. I took a look at it. The envelope was good quality, because it didn't fall apart when I began to tear it open.
I examined the first 3 words very closely. My eyes ran over them multiple times before my brain began to process them.
"I'm not dead"
My eyes wandered to the next word,
"yet."
"Oh my G-d." I said aloud. My own hand came to cover my mouth, now drowning from my tear-filled eyes. In another moment, I had dropped the letter, and my other hand drifted to the same place. One more blink, and I had fallen to my knees.
I knew who it was.
"I'll be back soon." I stated towards Mother.
"What is it honey?" She asked in response. I ignored her question, opting to grab my jacket and shoes.
"Love you." I said, exiting the home.
I pounded my legs against the ground, rushing to Keshet's residence as swiftly as I possibly could.
With no regard for possibly being a nuisance, I confidently and impulsively slammed on Keshet's bedroom window. He opened it fairly quickly. His face lit up.
"Lavi! I just… I wanted to apologize-" I cut him off.
"It's a letter…
From 99a…"