I crossed the street as subtly as I could. I have become accustomed to this recently. The fear of being caught running around past curfew had subsided, and I began to enjoy the view of Red at night.
Keshet was also learning to move around at night. Although, knowing him the fear and novelty will never go away. Him and I were meeting at 99a's shack, and it was nothing short of a feat to convince Keshet to make it here on his own.
A lamp flickered inside the shack a ways away. Keshet had made it there before me. Knowing he was waiting, I quickly made my way inside.
"You're not late," Keshet said upon my arrival, "I'm just early. My Father has been a restless sleeper lately, so I took the chance to leave while I could confirm his unconsciousness."
"Good," I replied, "I was a little worried it was my fault you were here alone twiddling your thumbs."
"Well, what was it that you wanted to talk about?"
I started to shake a bit. I had thought about this thousands of times now, but what I had called Keshet to talk about was difficult to say aloud. I hesitated, and decided to put it off.
"Before that, I brought some tea, want any?" I revealed a couple of tea bags, and opened the near boiling water in my thermos.
"Sure. I think there were a couple of mugs in the cupboards here, right?"
"Yup, 3rd one on the left."
"Wow, you sure do know this place well don't you?"
"Well, yeah. It's been like a home away from home for me for the past couple of years."
"I noticed the flowers you've left. Those aren't cheap are they?"
"Price doesn't really matter. It's not like I buy anything else, so…"
"Not to mention you've cleaned this place… I haven't noticed a single spec of dirt or dust since I've gotten here."
"If I didn't do it, no one else would. I have to maintain this place for 99a."
Keshet dolefully dropped his head a little.
"You know he's not coming back, right?" Keshet asked magniloquently and mundane-like. To me, Keshet had said something so obvious, it almost made me feel like a fool, and yet it was so bombastic. "He'll never see this cabin again. This isn't his home, it was his home." I clenched my fists, and sat down on a loveseat with my elbows resting on my knees.
"He's never coming back…" I repeated to myself. "So, those days truly are gone… Even if 99a is alive, those nostalgic childhood days are over."
"But 99a is alive. We may have to put those memories to rest, but there is a bright future ahead. There are many more memories to craft with our own hands."
"You're right." I said, happy Keshet had rescued me from my gloom one again. "The tea is done." I poured the tea out into the two cups as evenly as I could.
"Thanks," Keshet said, grabbing the cup. "Cheers."
Chink.
"So… I've been thinking…" I began, "Ever since I got that letter from 99a, nothing has satisfied me. And, well… I don't think anything ever will, aside from this. 99a said in his letter, we crave freedom. Longingly, we wish to leave our cage. It doesn't matter if we are provided with the best nest, the best seed, the best anything we want, nothing compares to a fresh breath of freedom."
"Indeed." Keshet nodded in agreement,
"Because of this… Keshet, do you want to escape with me?" I put down my glass on the table in front of me, and my gaze drifted up towards Keshet's. We locked eyes.
A moment went by before he answered this. Then another, then perhaps one more. Then, out of nowhere like lighting,
Gulp.
"I'll give it a shot. We agreed to fight together, so I guess this will be our first battle."
A wave of relief rushed over my back. I nearly toppled off my chair from the sudden redistribution of weight from my shoulders, to my head.
"Oh, you're right. That was kind of redundant, wasn't it?"
"No, not really. Actually, I would quite like to ask you the same question, so I can give you a chance to respond."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you want to escape?"
"Of course, I'm the one who asked you first."
"Let me break it down. Are you sure you want to escape? You'll have to give up on seeing your Mother, she'll be worried sick about you for the rest of her life."
I swallowed hard.
"If it must be done, then so be it."
"We'll have to say goodbye to Naomi. Think about how devastated she will be."
My hands shook, and my sweat glands began opening.
It began sinking in what effect this might have on everyone else inside of Red. Even if I wasn't close to everyone, the guards might start to enforce new rules to prevent more people from escaping. I would be indirectly forcing everyone's quality of life downwards.
"Fine." I reluctantly spit out.
"You'll have no home to return to, don't forget there's no coming back."
"Bring it on."
"There will be no such thing as relaxing outside Red. Every second of every day will be stressful. A sense of security? That's something dreams are made of. Not to mention the backbreaking loads of work that will need to be done to get to, 'freedom'"
"I'll get over that."
"Lavi, there's a very real chance you'll lose your life doing this."
"I get it!" I shouted, "It's stupid, I know. But I'm willing to take the risk to break the cycle. And now that I've made up my mind, there's nothing anyone can do to change it."