I stretched fractiously as my alarm beeped loudly interrupting my much-needed sleep. It was just a few days after my niece's and nephew's naming ceremony and I am still a bit sore from the hard work I did. Zoya gave birth to a set of twins almost two weeks ago and I insisted on not missing the ceremony. I love Harisa and Hazim already and I am so happy to be their aunt. Mom stayed behind to do omugo, where a female elder commonly the groom or bride's mother stays to care for newborn babies and their mothers. Zoya's mother-in-law is late which makes mom the next person to take on the responsibility. As much as I'd love to spend time with Zoya I had to get away because of the cries of the babies but mostly because I had something to deal with personally without mom around. I told mom to allow me to come back to our house so I can study and get ahead for resumption because that was the only way she would let me out of her sight.
I stood up to write in my journal, went ahead to take my bath and leave my room to prepare my breakfast. I haven't been able to see Khalil since I got back because he went to visit his dad in Ibadan but he is finally coming home today. Although I have missed him and can't wait to see him, I secretly dread having the particular conversation we had put on hold with him.
While having my breakfast I thought back to the several intimate nights I shared with Christopher before coming to Nigeria and smiled. Just after a split second, my warm smile faded into a sad one followed by a quiet whimper.
Flashback
"Hello babe" I said happily on the phone.
"Oh, hello there" I heard Kate say.
"Kate?" I asked with shock.
"Yes dear, what are you calling for? I'm busy" Kate said unapologetically.
"Is Christopher there?" I managed to ask.
"Yes he is, why?" Kate asked. I scoffed in annoyance.
"Uhm, because he is my boyfriend and I want to talk to him?" I snapped.
"No, you can't, he's asleep. We had a long night if you know what I mean" she answered as she laughed insidiously.
"What?" I asked in disbelief. I could not believe what I had just heard. Kate and Christopher, I mean that's not possible.
I ended the call as soon as Kate started to rave about how long and busy their night was. I was still in shock when a message entered from Christopher and I rushed to view it with the hope that it was all a prank but unfortunately I only saw a picture of Kate and Christopher lying in bed half naked with the caption, this is my only girlfriend.
End of Flashback
I let out a deep sigh as I cleared the plates and took them to the kitchen to wash. I have been trying to reach Christopher since the incident but it's just been going to voicemail and so has Amira's. I could not even access the group because I was removed by Christopher. I have no idea what was going on and it was slowly driving me insane. My thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell rang.
"Who is it?" I asked, rinsing my soapy hands. No one answered but the doorbell rang again. I opened the door and Khalil was standing, looking more handsome than I remembered.
"Hey" I said happily and invited him in.
"Zee" He said shyly. I closed the door behind us and hugged him. He was feeling detached and I know why so I thought of what to make him loosen up.
"How was your visit with your dad?" I asked
"It was fine" He answered. I smiled as I turned on the TV and threw one of the two video game pads in his lap.
"I'm going to beat you blue-black today!" I shouted as I chose my weapon.
"Not if I beat you first" He yelled dramatically. That's more like it.
After a few minutes of intense competition, he won the first round and I pouted playfully. He saw my reaction and smiled.
"Yes" I shouted after winning the second round.
"I let you win" He whispered in my ear.
"I don't care, I still won" I said smiling.
"Oh, I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat here?" He asked as he ransacked the fridge for food.
"Awesome" He said when he found the remaining food I made.
"We should talk" I finally said after I watched him eat all of the remaining food.
"Yes, we should" He said. I sat opposite him on the sofa as he cleared his throat to talk.
Khalil's pov
"I've missed you" I said calmly.
"I've missed you too Khalil" she answered.
"Erm..I..." I stuttered.
"You said you were in love with me" She said whilst looking down at her skirt.
"Yes I did, I am in love with you Zee. I have always been" I said.
"Me too" She said. I didn't believe it. The only girl I've always loved also loved me and yet I had no idea.
"Really? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked
"Why didn't you tell me either?" She asked too.
"I know how serious you are with your education and I didn't want to be the reason for you to lose your focus" I answered. She looked down with what seemed like disappointment and I wondered why.
"Are you okay?" I asked with concern.
"No, no I am not" She said as she broke down in tears.
"Zee?" I asked with confusion. Was it what I said or why is she crying?
"I don't want to talk about it right now okay, I'm sorry" She said as she wiped the tears off her face.
"Okay, come here" I said, resting her head on my lap. She stopped crying and sat up on the sofa.
"Thanks, Khalil" She said.
"You're welcome" I answered.
She smiled at me and I was mesmerized by her beauty. I love this girl too much and I can lose my mind if she chooses to stay with Christopher. Without giving it too much thought, I leaned in and kissed her on her lips. She pulled away in protest and stood up from the sofa.
"I'm so sorry Khalil, I can't do this right now" She said as she ran up the stairs into her room. I ran after her to apologize for kissing her but she locked the door behind her and was sobbing quietly.
"Zee please open the door, I'm sorry okay" I said persuading her to open the door but to no avail.
After a long while, she finally opened the door. Her eyes were already puffy and red. She sat on the edge of her bed and gestured for me to sit too.
Zeenat's pov
I cleared my throat as he sat beside me. I had him worried and he thought I was mad at what he did.
"I'm sorry I ran out on you" I said with sincerity.
"It's fine, but you have to talk to me Zee, what exactly is wrong?" He asked with confusion.
"What you said about me being serious about my education just made me come to a realization. I'm too young to be dating, I can't handle it" I answered.
"What? I don't understand" He said.
"Since I started going out with Christopher I have been losing focus. I've not been able to focus when I read, my mind is always wandering to our times together and just recently I realized what a huge mistake I made being with him" I said tearfully.
"What?....I...I don't understand" He asked with even more confusion.
"What I am saying, in a nutshell, is I fell in love too soon and with the wrong person. I did something I shouldn't have done and I don't even think I was ready for it. I did it for the wrong reason" I said with regret.
"What did you do Zee?" He asked.
"Erm...I....I.....had.....I had sex Khalil" I answered with shame.
"You did what?! He asked, standing from the bed in disbelief.
"I had sex. I know Khalil, I know how bad it is" I said with tears.
In my religion and the way, I was brought up, sex before marriage is a no-no. My mom often explained how it was unholy and how filthy it is to be defiled before marriage, even my sister waited till she was married to her husband. I have made a huge mistake, I know it and Khalil knows it too because our family share the same beliefs and ideas.
"But why? You shouldn't have" He finally said as he sat back beside me.
"I know Khalil, believe me, I know" I said.
"Does your mom know?" He asked.
"Of course not" I answered fearfully.
"It's going to be fine Zee" He said trying to reassure me. He is so sweet and understanding, here he is assuring me and trying to make me feel better even when I was inconsiderate of his feelings. He is the perfect man for me, my perfect man.
"Thanks, Khalil" I said as I pushed my thoughts away. This is no time for romance, I just want to make my mom proud of me.
"You're welcome Zee" Khalil answered.
"The third part of our favourite movie came out today on Netflix, want to watch it together? He asked.
"Oh my, for real?" I asked with excitement.
"Erm yeah!" He answered.
"I'll go make us popcorn" I said as I made my way down the stairs.
"I'll go get drinks" He said as he followed behind me.
After a few minutes with the table set with popcorn and drinks, we were ready to watch the kissing booth.
I watched the movie for the first time with Khalil almost two years ago just shortly after our school exam and it was when I started to like Khalil. After watching the movie, I always dreamt of Khalil being my Noah but in reality, he's my Lee. Almost halfway into the movie and I could see Khalil glancing at me with love. Even though I made up my mind to forego romance it still felt good for me to be loved by him. I turned my focus back to the screen and took a handful of popcorn.
"Hey! Do not finish that Zee" Khalil screamed dramatically.
"What will you do about it?" I asked playfully, sticking the tip of my tongue out at him.
"Eww, you are such a baby" He said hitting me with the throw pillow playfully.
Well, I didn't kiss Chloe, Noah said to Elle and Khalil and I both stared at the screen in anticipation of the drama. We paid attention to the movie hoping to not miss any detail.
Towards the end of the film when Elle and Noah saw each other again, it brought this feeling I had the night Christopher and I shared our real first kiss. Butterflies, I felt the butterflies and as soon as the reality hit, it went numb. I let out a deep sigh as I rested my head on Khalil's shoulder and watched as the credits rolled up the screen.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Khalil asked.
"Just thinking of the connection between Elle and Noah, I wonder if I could ever have that with someone" I answered bluntly.
"Oh, I wasn't expecting that at all. You are an amazing girl Zee and I'm sure any guy will be more than lucky to have that with you" Khalil said. He is sweet and always knows what to say. Even though I'm sure what I shared earlier bothered him a bit, he didn't judge me or look at me differently.
I raised my head and gave him a light kiss on the cheek and smiled as I rested my head back on his shoulder.
"What was that for?" He asked without a clue.
"That was for being the best friend a little girl like me could ever hope for" I said sweetly.
"Aww, thanks Zee" Khalil answered, grinning happily.
"Lest I forget Zee, I have something to tell you" I said without emotion so as not to give away the news.
"Okay, is it about your acceptance letter I've been meaning to ask" she said.
"Yes it is" I answered sadly
"Oh my Khalil, I'm sorry. I...." she said trying to make me feel better.
"I got in" I said cutting her speech short. I could not go on with it seeing her so sad for me.
"Awusubulai, you scared me" she said.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to tease you a bit" I said.
"Okay o, I'm really happy about this Khalil. Now we are in same the school as we should be. We are leaving together next week right?" I asked anxiously.
"Of course" I assured her.
"Alhamdulilah" she answered.
Just as soon as I escorted Khalil out of my compound, I received a message from an unknown number I immediately knew who it was from but I was not going to give anyone the right to continuously hurt me so I did the only thing that came to mind.