… what the f–
That's the only thing going through my mind, after seeing my ex. Out of nowhere as a desktop wallpaper with 'me' of this world. What the actual f.
glug glug glug
Drowning my nth bottle.
Did she…. Isekai'd?
ring ring ring
Huh? What's that noise? I feel the vibration on the table. And the ring of a tune. Ah it's my phone.
"Yes?"
I answered the call with a hoarse voice.
"Do you have it?"
Ugh. I have no time for this shit.
"Can't you call in a more appropriate time?"
I didn't hide my irritation in my voice.
"It seems that you forget who put you in power in the first place, now did you, Mr. Blaidd?"
Hmmm it seems that they're the one who put me in power huh.
"Forget it. What do you need, I presume it's important for you to call at this hour."
"Since it's important I shall let you off the hook this time, and listen well Mr. Blaidd since I will not repeat my request."
"Of course."
"I need a live sized MechaBorg 9, it's on sale in Banazon now! It's a limited edition! You have to secure it and send it to me immediately!"
…. What the F?
".... do you have the link? I shall acquire it immediately."
"You're the bes— I mean, well done Mr. Blaidd, the Great Elder shall be pleased."
"Of course, of course, but where shall I send it? It's life sized and it's a bit unwieldy."
".... good point Mr. Blaidd, I knew I could count on you in the critical thinking department!"
…. What is this guy honestly?
"*cough cough* the great elder has declared that you will bring it near you and when you're ready and no one is around just dial this number, and it will soon be taken care of."
… Great… another nutjob. Well buying a mecha model won't hurt. I'm also a bit interested in this…
Ring
Not long after a link was sent to me and… I immediately bought it.
Sigh… what did my life comes to now?
I feel my eyelids are heavy as I walked towards one of the more inviting sofa and placed my head down.
Never had I slept this soundly in an alien environment. But it's a first.
—-
"Master Blaidd."
"Ugh… 10 more minutes."
"I'm afraid I can't do that Master Blaidd. You have a meeting in 30 minutes, and your delivery wil soon arrive afterwards."
"Who are you again?"
"Your most professional butler Master blaidd. Now off you go and don't dilly dally."
I woke up, found myself covered in comfortable blanked, and an old man with a monacle is giving me something to drink.
UGH MY HEAD…
"Ah… now now, you're not young anymore, you should limit yourself Master Blaidd least you perish before you see the young missus graduate."
"Thanks for your honest thoughts."
"Pleasure is always mine. Here drink this in one gulp."
I emptied whatever was handed to me and BLERGH…. THE TASTE IS JUST…. AWFUL… but I gulp it down nonetheless.
And a bit later, the pain subsides. But the throbbing is still there.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Now please go take a bath, I'll be tidying up your workplace, do you want me to inform the board that you'll be staying at home?"
"Ah… please do."
Reliable… how did 'I' get this guy. Way too reliable. So reliable that he's sus. Wait wasn't he also the chauffeur yesterday? I forgot what was his name again? Charles?
Ah nevermind I need to take a bath.
—-
The meeting was uneventful and now I'm having my breakfast… if you can call it that. IT'S MORE LIKE A BUFFET!
"Are we expecting someone today?"
I asked the butler.
"If memory serves none."
Do I usually eat this much for breakfast? Or did I eat a little and give it all away?
"Ok… you may leave, ah do tell me when my special order has arrived."
"Of course Mr Blaidd. Enjoy your meal."
Huh that reminds me… why can't I read this guy's mind.
(Ah how envious, to eat a buffet of meat but not get fat.)
….Nevermind…
ring ring ring
Huh.. this tone again…
"Yes?"
"Is it breakfast time already?"
Huh?
"... yeah I'm having breakfast. Have you eaten?"
"No, and I'm starving, thank you Mr. Blaidd, itadakimasu!"
Huh? The space beside me distorts, as a giant tentacle… made up of moving slimy parts proceed to take everything on the table, and pulls it into the portal. And the portal closes.
What the actual F?
"*burp* 10/10! that Charles always knows what to cook. Are you sure he's not interested in eternal life and being above the human race?"
Is this guy an eldritch monster?
"Ei ei, Mr. Blaidd, can you give me some coke, do you have coke?"
".... Let me check."
I opened the fridge, and it's all slimy….
"*cough cough* it must have been a cat, yeah a cat! Can you believe the nerves of those felines sneaking into someone's house and taking their coke?"
So let me get this straight…. I have a hikikomori elder one as my boss… ok… good to know…
"..."
"Yep that is definitely not me, I mean I can only open portals near you… and maybe your 'marked' territory… "
"..."
"...I definitely did not mark your fridge when you're asleep!"
Great and I didn't even say anything. I think I'll purchase coke. And become one of its major shareholders.
"I'll ask Charles to purchase another batch of coke. Do you want chips? As well?"
"Really? — I mean, your suggestion is well appreciated, Mr. Blaidd, this great elder one will remember your contribution."
I seriously question your capabilities right now.
"*cough cough* your order will be here shortly, I will inform you once it's safely secured."
"Oh really? As always nice work Mr. Blaidd. I'll be watching some an-- I mean I shall be observing our enemies for a while, please don't mind me... I mean please call me when it arrived."
*click*
sigh...
—
My boss is an eldritch hikikomori. How original.
and who's going to clean this slime of the fridge.