I need a reminder why am I cleaning my fridge again… oh yeah because an eldritch god decided it wants coke.
And I'm not about to let my reliable sla– butler go mad because of some stupid coke. From the stories and games I played, anything related to an outer god will eat away at your sanity…
And after a full hour of cleaning, at least the fridge looks… normal… yep no more reflective substances that reflect your deepest desires anymore.
And now I need a bath.
===
I honestly still haven't come to terms with my current situation.
"Master Blaidd"
"Huh? Since when have you been there? ever since the beginning? ah... don't mind me... I suddenly have the urge to clean..."
"... if you insist Master Blaidd. By the by, your order for a live sized… miniature is here. shall I set it up in your study?"
... at times like this I hope that this butler is a bit more unreliable at his job.
"I'll handle the... goods... Do you have any other duties currently?"
"I believe I have to water the plants and pick the young lady up."
"... if you say so... then please continue with your duty. thank you Charlie"
"The pleasure is mine, Master Blaidd."
Nice save, me.
---
The package which is as tall as me is now in the living room. I have no idea how to move this. nor do I have to. can't it just open a dimensional portal thing to make it pass through?
and so with that in mind, I called… the eldritch god with my phone.
"Hello, what are you calling me for, minion?"
hmmmm... where did calling me by my name go?
"... I secured the goods."
"Good work. now can you send it here?"
What do you mean send it there? How do I send it to you? this bastard of a boss! I can't even lift this damn thing.
"Achoo Did someone badmouth me?"
"... It must be your feeling, anyway, how do I send this to you?"
"Hmmmm...."
"I suggest opening a portal right below it, so using gravity it will slide right in."
"No.... that can't be done... that model is the only one in the world, I cannot risk its damage."
Damage? There's damage? What Damage?
"Ah you may not know this but traveling with a space tunnel, it may or may not alter anything non-living...."
There's a reason like that?
"Ah! you must be wondering what if it's a living object? Well honestly I don't know, most apostles I hire go mad everytime they travel, hence I never allowed it anymore! I need good subordinates with brains! not mindless husks!"
"That's oddly specific... What about food?"
"Ah, I ate them on the spot. It never traveled here!"
".... ok."
"Ah! I know! Minion! make that mecha the centerpiece of your house so I can gaze at all its glory!"
.... You've got to be kidding me, and then a bold idea struct me, I may be able to draw out this… eldritch thing, to know what I'm up against.
"cough cough May I inquire if you'll be joining me for this... recreational session."
"I thought You'll never ask!"
and suddenly a portal opened and a tentacle crawled through. and then another. and another, until 3 tentacles crawl out of the portal, destroying everything in sight.
I blinked at the unimaginable damage it caused. As if physics was a lie, everything started to fly upwards, tentacles dug into the ground to anchor itself, dragging whatever the main body is towards this dimension, but I also felt a repelling force pushing back the madness.
I blink once again, and everything seems to be back like it all never happened.
[Yeah, not happening minion... It seems like the world is still rejecting me. I cannot go through the mortal world, you'll need to gather a few more sacrifices first to stabilize a portal for me.]
There's sound echoing in my mind now.
[Hello, you still there minion? Or did I break you too? Please don't break it's hard to find a leechable sugar da--]
Did I just hear sugar daddy!
[Ah I sense your brain is still functioning, good, please reply ASAP!]
how do I [Reply]... oh...
[Ah good, it seems that forcefully crossing for a brief moment is not in vain as you are now a tier 2 telepath!]
Telepathy...
[Anyway, Now minion you need to assemble it now!]
… Assemble it? Me? Aren't I too old for this?
[As you wish...]
But I held my words back and just agree to it as it's never a good idea to piss off anything eldritch.
—
After a great effort, I managed to open up the container.
as I opened the giant box hoping for an assembled mech, but, to my displeasure, WHERE THE HELL IS THE HUMAN SIZED MECH? WHY IS IT PLASTICS? DO I HAVE TO CUT THIS? AND DO I HAVE TO GLUE IT?
[Fu fu fu, as expected even the human sized mech is still a plastic model in heart! I'm quite amazed! come minion we have a huge day in front of us!]
Might as well start I guess.
"Charlie, can you get me a clipper?"
I yelled out as a "yes" came from the garden.
—
I'm currently building a…. Human sized plastic model of a humanoid mecha with a doritos/inverted triangle shaped top. (Guess the Mech.)
[Good, first clip the plastic from A-2 and A-5, and then….]
My body's on autopilot… to be precise it's controlled by the eldritch god. I haven't gotten it's name yet. But now I have time to… reflect.
I'm looking back at the past 24 hours, why did it come to this, I don't hate it. I just find it overwhelming, First I got myself a daughter. Which is in a biologically accurate age to both the previous 'me' and the current 'me'.
Two. I found out I have this 'telepathic' ability which is getting stronger by the second. I can now hear my butler's thought from 500m away.
Three. I'm in a boss-slave relationship with an eldritch god. Yay.
[Nice! Did you see this human! Gaze upon the glory of plastic model kit!]
I have no opinion on this except it's only half of the face done…. I don't know how long it's been but…
ding dong
Huh? A bell?
"Com—"
BOOOM
"DA--- I mean Civilian is there anything wrong in this estate! We have signals of alien activity!"
A figure in white sci-fi battle suit with detached metallic wings kicked the door, and shouted loudly. She had pink hair tied into a ponytail, a sci-fi mask covering her face. An ample bosom, drones in the shape of wings, and… is that a plasma sword? That's a plasma sword right? It glows in a pink color.
"Stand down guardian."
"!"
I hear another voice from behind her. As another woman came into view. She held a plasma greatsword. It glows blue, just like her short hair, and eyes. Her face shows a fierce expression as she quickly scans the estate. Her armor, which was covering her entire body in gold and blue, suddenly shines and morph into a lion.
The lion… no it has a shape of a lion, but its whole body looks like someone just pasted a galaxy background to a container in a shape of a lion, with a mane and all that. The lion proceeds to jump all over before it approached me slowly.
"HUH?"
The lion then stares me down as it sniff me a couple of time before licking me with it's gigantic tongue.
Lick
BLERGH… it smells like… coke?
Before it runs back into the bluenette and morphs into an armor once more.
"You, Civilian, did you see anything out of the ordinary today?"
… You're asking me? I just pointed at her.
"..."
"..."
"Guardian Psi, it seems that there was an interference here 15 minutes ago. But the culprit might have already left. Or this is just a distraction. Keep an eye out."
"Yes, Councilor Sigma."
"And initiate whiteout."
"Civilian, have a good day, and try to be nice to your daughter."
"Huh?"
And then everything turned white.
When I come to….
[MINOIN!]
Arghh…. My head…. What am I …?
"Ah you're awake Master Blaidd. It seems that you've passed out while building your… toys…"
Ah yeah and then there's the… guardian and councilor… oh don't tell me…
[Damn those Galactic Guardian and their Council!]
[Huh? What's wrong?]
[Look at it!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Look at wha… oh…
[I CAN'T BELIVE IT! THEY KNOCK YOU OUT AND PROCEED TO BUILD IT THEMSELVES! I CURSE THEM! CURSE THEM FOR ALL ETERNITY!]
I can feel the anger as the space around me distorted.
[... Hmmm they might've build it, but I can one up them.]
[HOW DO YOU ONE UP THEM IF THEY'VE BUILT THE ONLY PLASTIC MODEL IN EXISTANCE?]
[... ah easy, I can always just buy the shares of the company and 'make' another plastic model for you]
[GASP! You can do that!]
[Yeah, considering the money I have acquiring them and helping them penetrate other market is going to be quite simple.]
[You're not lying are you minion?]
[Of course not, how can a lowly me lie to an all knowing one like thou!]
[umu…. Make sense.]
"Master Blaidd… are you ok…? You seem to be spacing out for quite some time now…"
"Charlie, I'm thinking of acquiring the company behind this…. Masterpiece."