I have completely forgotten your eyes.
I cannot fathom the shape of your mouth.
Unable to give voice to a single thing.
No longer am I still waiting for you.
--------
The cold morning breeze of December awash the entire house. Yet nothing bothers a jovial boy's unhinged excitement on Christmas day.
Running down the stairs and through the halls without any regard for his safety. The boy sprinted until he reached the living room with its cold wooden floor, minimalist furniture, damp fireplace, and an extravagant Christmas tree.
The sight of it only urged the boy to look at the two wrapped presents placed at the base of the tree.
Glee and anticipation filled the boy! Not once has his father failed him during Christmas! Immediately after picking up the bigger present of the two, the boy relentlessly tore through the paper. Revealing...
The newly launched Nintendo DSi! Oh, how amazing! This is what the boy wanted the most! So much so that the boy sprawled on the carpet he stood on, squirming in joy! His father is truly the best!
"Thank you dad!"
The boy said, not minding the fact that he was all alone in the cold living room.
Not forgetting about the second present, he rolled over and crawled toward the Christmas tree.
Treating it the same way he did to the first, he tore the wrapping. Lo and behold, it was three different game cartridges for the console!
How exciting! Wanting to try each one of them, the boy briskly opened the case, yet carefully picked one up. But because of the boy's impatience, he doesn't know how to use the cartridge.
Gently placing the cartridge back, he scanned the console, turning it all around until he saw a noticeable hole at the back. Picking up what he previously let go, he inserted the cartridge and turned the console on we a smile plastered on his face. A child trying his new toy.
Despite the boy's complete unfamiliarity with the toy. He fiddled with the console with considerable finesse, and eventually, the boy was playing with it.
The boy was completely absorbed with the game he was playing, occupied in a world of his own, on his very hands. Not minding the cold, not caring for his peckish state. In the midst of the boy's stagnancy, time went by fleetingly.
y.
"aaAAAAKH!"
A terrible scre—
A weak yet crisp squeal from a woman the boy recognizes echoed through the halls and into the living room, perking the boy's head up.
'Mom and dad must be playing chase again!'
Which means they are both awake! His head, looking at the direction he heard the sound from. Face beaming, the boy bolted out of the living room and back to where he came from wanting to show his mom his new toy and maybe play with them too.
With the staircase coming into view, the boy saw his father chasing his mother on the second floor too. The woman frantically nearing the flight of stairs and the man lagging behind, his right leg slightly limping. Seeing his parents playing chase, the boy couldn't help but want to join them!
When the woman took her first step down the stairs, the boy waved his new toy and shouted to gain his mother's attention.
"Mom! Look at what dad gave me!"
The boy successfully took his mother's attention.
Making her trip on her foot. Falling. With all her weight and momentum. Hit her head and neck at the edges of the stairs. Then slid down the base.
The boy's father abruptly stopped his chase and stood still. Too shocked by what just happened. After a moment of blankness, his eyes shifted toward where his son was. Seeing his son in the same state as him somewhat brought back his presence of mind.
The father rushed towards the stairs to better see his wife's condition. Only to see her unconscious, and slightly bleeding at the end of it.
Looking at his son. He commanded.
"Takahiro! To your room, N—
The boy on the other hand.
"————"
Ringing.
All he hears is ringing.
Unresponsive.
The image of his mother lying unconscious at the end of a staircase, with red liquid... red liq—it is blood. With blood flowing down her head, staining the floor she rests on is being burned. Engraved in his memory, to stay there his whole life.
The boy was paralyzed. Just staring at his unconsc
Corpse
You Are Staring At A COOOOOOOOOOO
—HIRO!"
"TAKAHIRO! TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!"
The booming voice of his father jolted his thoughts, snapping the boy out of his reverie. Panic and fear overcame the boy. He briskly climbed the left staircase and ran straight to his room.
Another scream from a woman shrilled but the boy didn't mind it and just ran.
Entering his room, the boy immediately dived into his bed and sheets hiding from all the scary things happening outside his room.
The poor, poor boy cooped under his blanket, wallowing in fear, regret, and guilt. Not fully understanding what transpired, just that his mother is hurt. And a level of awareness. That he is the reason she is out.
Cold?
NO!
Why didn't you tell anyone?
TO PROTECT HER!
But that's a lie.
Don't you agree?
Don't you agree?
Takahiro.
*BEEP**BEEP**BEEP*
My eyes open to a pristine white ceiling in relative darkness. Creeped out by what I woke up from. Feeling something warm, weighing on the right side of my bed. Groggy and languid, I shifted to my right only to see Harumi vulnerably sleeping right next to me. Her soft, amiable face subtly heaved breaths, an air of innocence completely enveloping her. At this very moment, it was as if she is the incarnation of the phrase 'dangerously cute'. My brows furrowed in utter bewilderment.
'The fuck am I thinking and does she have no shame.'
Reminding myself of how she ended up 'right' beside me, I laid back returning to how I was beforehand; facing the ceiling.
I feel terrible. Sick. A fever. My throat itches. My muscles are sore caused of lying for too long. Just terrible. Pouring more gas into the fire which is my hatred towards the winter season. She visited in the middle of the night. Last night. Just to dab me crudely with a moist towel she brought with her. A groan of frustration came out of me.
'Why is she so violent? I really prefer it whenever she's asleep. And she shouldn't initiate contact with someone who's sick, more so to sleep right next to them.' I took note to reproach her of such... misbehavior.
Shortly after the beeping of an alarm. The shaded window slowly turned transparent letting the morning sunlight in. A wavy tune reverberated in the room prompting me to one of my daily routines.
"Happy new year dear viewers. It's 7:00 a.m. on Sunday, January 3, 2021, and you are listening to FM802. I am hoping that everyone here had a good night's sleep, had your delicious coffee, and generally had a good morning. And I'm here to make your Good morning a Great morning! HAHA! Anyway! Here is some of our morning news. Billionaire entrepreneur and CEO of TORy, Sato Satoshi got re—
"Alexa turn off the radio."
On my command, the same wavy tune played in rewind. Stopping the radio. Then it was silent. Nothing beats having a dream with 'father' in it and waking up only to hear his name in ruining my morning, thank you very much.
Sighing in dejection, I glanced to my right, genuinely impressed seeing her still sound asleep after all that noise.
Through a parched mouth and a coarse throat, I said, "Alexa, play Spring Thief."
"Playing - Spring Thief."
A combination of an acoustic guitar, snapping, and bass drum resounded in the room. Loud to hear; but not overbearing. It was pleasant, I relished the melody being played for a moment.
Turning once again to my right, I gently shook Harumi's shoulder with a sheet on my hand, intending to wake her up from her sleep.
"Hey hey sleepy head. Why are you sleeping in my bed."
Eventually, her eyelids slowly opened. But only a hint of consciousness could be seen in her listless eyes. Clearly half-asleep as
"hmmm~? Takaa~?"
That...
"Taka? What.. wha are you doing..... sleeping in my bed...!?"
Awareness shone in her eyes as she lifted her right arm, dropping it to rest it on me. Her entirety, deviously inching towards me.
"Are you perhaps hoping to do? Some naughty things to me?"
Her face of shock turned into mock thoughtfulness as she continues.
"How immoral. How immoral~"
Her sad attempt at seductive smile proceeds, with only a few inches between us.
"But if it's you... You know I wouldn't mind."
At the period of her sentence, her head pounced at me... Like a... like a bird pecking... pecking something it pecks.
With my right brow twitching, I held my bare left hand up blocking her and grasping her entire face. Then pushed her head away, stopping whatever she is doing. The sounds of her protests coalesced with the song playing. Realizing my mistake, I quickly pulled my hand back revealing her disgruntled figure. I shot her a look telling her to stop, thankfully she did... but reluctantly?
"First of all, what do you think you're doing? Secondly, this is my bed, not yours. Why did you think sleeping next to a sick man is a good idea?"
"Well! It's you after all!"
How overacting. She didn't even deny that it isn't my bed...
"Plus seeing the person I love sick in bed just doesn't sit well with me."
I just gave her a deadpan stare. At some point, I just started getting used to the things she has said and will eventually say. Feeling my throat itch I turned away, covered my mouth, and did a hearty cough. Huffing a sigh, I faced her with a softer expression and a slight smile.
"Since you know what seeing the person you love sick feels. I think you have an idea as to what seeing the person you love sick because of you feels."
Hearing my words, her appearance and feel discernably drooped. A sign to her admitting her mishap.
"Sorry." She said meekly, making me feel unreasonable guilt. Oh, how weak I am when she does this.
An inevitable sigh escaped my lips, returning to the comfort of my bed and blanket.
"It's fine, it's fine. Just don't do this again... Don't do those again."
Gazing at her get off the bed to tidy herself, I continued.
"As you can see, I still look and feel like crap. Won't you please give your beloved brother a glass of water? Also, the food should've arrived. It would be a shame if it turned cold. Let's have breakfast so that we could both drink our meds."
All of it said with a bit of a sarcastic tone.
If before, she would have responded with a snarky remark and a punch to my gut. Now...
"...!"
She gave me a shining, blinding smile. Like the shining sunlight on a flowery meadow. Like the first showcase of Mona Lisa's ambiguous smile. Like looking straight at the face of God. It is unsettling. It is beyond unsettling.
Responding to me with a fervent nod. She set off, out of the room with fireworks beneath her feet.
Then it was silent once again. The song, long done. Returning my gaze to the pristine white ceiling, a single thought came to mind.
'How troublesome.'
--------
All I desire is a proper parting.
As if this moment is all but a dream.
Unable to give voice to a single thing.
To this day I am still waiting for you.