,,These two appeal to me."
The professor and I stood over the table, where several of my sketches were spread out.
,,I think this one is bound to be at the opening." I picked up a paper with drawing of a woman with non-rebreather mask on her face, which she kept there, but there was a pleasant and healthy environment all around.
,,What about this one?" he pointed to a sketch that I wasn't so identified with.
I looked at the sketched teacup with flowers inside, which was held by two tiny hands, and a dim reflection of face was visible on the porcelain. However, water poured from above so it looked as if the water didn't belong in that cup, it was the flowers ...
My point was in the note I had written under each drawing, which was also the theme of the opening.
"Change (not) accepted."
,,You know what, try this one after all. You'll see when you transfer it to the canvas, your opinion will change." I felt his palm on my shoulder and then I heard footsteps receding.
He left me to think about his words and finally I decided to overcome myself.
I packed the paper with the teacup in my bag and put the others in my locker.
On the way home I still had to stop at the library, where I planned to exchange several books. As I entered the entrance, which had its place just a few stops from my apartment, I was greeted by an elderly lady I came to.
After I asked her about one biography, I went in the direction she had shown me somewhere in the back of the whole spacious room.
When I got to the shelf with the name I was looking for, I noticed on the other side a few tables, chairs and armchairs where there were a few people and at ease reading.
I saw it there for the first time.
As I step in the book-lined aisle, my gaze immediately focused on the top rows of books, there were biographies ranging from painters to architects to musicians.
That's why I couldn't even be surprised when my foot tripped over something and the next few seconds passed so fast that I only found myself on my knees with a startled expression on my face.
A sudden pain passed from my legs to my upper body, causing me to close my eyes.
,,Are you okay?" it came from behind me.
I refused to open my eyes, but then someone's shadow covered me.
,,If I pretend that I am ... will it make the situation less awkward?" I sighed and let myself be pulled back to my feet.
,,I let you think so."
I looked into the face of the guy in front of me and in a surreptitiously way freed my shoulder from his grip.
,,Next time I will assume that someone might sit on the ground with their legs outstretched." I said pushed by this uncomfortable moment.
,,Could you ..." I indicated that I needed to get to the very part of the shelf where he stood.
As soon as he gave me the space, I picked up the book I was originally going to, and with an embarrassing smile I turned around and headed for the newly found reading corner.
A few free seats left only at a long wooden table, so I went to sit right there, right next to the window.
I put one earbud in my right ear and then pulled my notebook out of tote bag.
After a while, I rolled up my jeans so I could take a look at my knees. There was nothing on them yet.
However, when I straightened up again, I jumped up straight away and my knees ended up in pain again when I hit them at the bottom of the table.
,,Duh..." I huffed with furrowed eyebrows and touched them with both palms.
Beside me, there was a man whose feet I stumbled on. He was just reaching for the chair next to mine and I was about to put on the second earbud.
I was taking notes and made sure I didn't even look at him with peripheral vision.
When I looked in front of me, I observed three girls talking in armchairs, and at the same time their eyes wandered to the guy next to me.
I couldn't think about it for long, because a familiar face appeared in my field of sight.
His face was tired and eyes teary. That was the first thing I noticed when I looked at him.
He laid his book on the table and opened it. Then his eyes met mine.
The width of the table separated him from me, but it seemed to me as if he were much further away.
I didn't know exactly what came to my mind, but I took one of my earbuds and placed it in front of him.
He lowered his gaze to it and then looked away. He didn't take it.
Instead, he took a hard breath.
I swallowed the feeling of humiliation and after a while I reached out so I could take it back.
Unconsciously, however, I held my breath as his palm appeared on my knuckles.
He slowly pulled my hand away and took the headphone himself.
He then put it in and only then did I realize that I had actually offered him one of my most personal things.
At this awareness, I frowned at the page of my book, but I didn't look up. I started to focus more on the song that was just playing and I wondered if he knew it, if he liked it ...
In a few moments, I finally succeeded to return to plodding along with my task from university.
I spun pen around my fingers while looking for one important part, but I couldn't work it out anywhere. I closed my eyes for a moment and took my phone. Then I noticed that Su-Jin was no longer paying attention to the book in front of him. Instead, he had his head on it and his eyes were closed.
I had a strange feeling, and when I turned to my left, I found that the guy was still there, looking at me.
I completely forgot about him.
Within a few seconds he shifted his gaze back to table, where he had placed his phone and a game was on. The book he brought was set aside and closed at the side.
I raised an eyebrow and watched as he began to pack, simply tossing the book on the shelf where damaged books were stored. Before he left, he turned to me with simple "have fun".
When he was gone, I got up and picked up the book so I could go put it in place. The library was almost empty, and it wasn't until I looked out the window that I realized it was dark outside. I must have been here for several hours.
When I returned to the table, I saw Su-Jin sitting with face in his hands this time. He jerked a few times as if remembering something, and I also saw his firm body shake.
When I sat down opposite him again, he placed his hands on the table, and when his eyes met mine, I did not dodge.
In a few moments he relaxed and his shoulders fell a little lower from that release.
We both kept listening to my playlist, but he didn't seem to mind.
I also placed my forearms on my opened notebook and then rested my chin on them.
He did the same, so we had faces a few inches apart and we glanced at each other as if we were examining something.
We stayed like this for one ... or more minutes until I couldn't stand it and I closed my eyes.
It wasn't that I was uncomfortable with.
No way.
More likely the exact opposite.
I knew his eyes remained open, but I felt no insecurity. I didn't feel he was evaluating my appearance or looking for any beauty bugs.
It was a pleasant feeling.