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Chapter 3 - Chapter One

My name is Thandeka Lwandle Dlamini (13 years). I'm from eDubeni where I stay with my aunt (from my mom's side) and her twins Ntando and Thando (15). I'm doing grade 8 at Phathani Secondary School.

Well my cousins and I don't get along because of my aunt. she always says I'm bewitched because my mom left me and also that I'm ugly. So they listen to their mother. I just wish they could see me as a human, treat me like her daughters but you really can't make a person to see you differently.

Not so long ago the twins were celebrating their 15th birthday, my aunt took them to Durban where she bought them a Samsung A20, I was hurt not because of their gift but I was hurt because of what my aunt said. she said she won't take me with them because I will embarrass them Infront of important people, possible clients, she said I should stay behind and look after her house because that's what I'm here for.

my aunt is a successful business woman. she owns a few businesses but the one that brings her more money is the one with security personnel. Here at home I have a shack at the back where I sleep. I'm not supposed to stay inside the house, the twins have their beautiful bedroom. I have made peace with everything happening to me. I'm a bright student, even though at school I'm bullied. I have accepted that I will always be my own best friend.

Today is Tuesday and I just woke up and I'm preparing for school when my aunt comes to my shack which takes me by surprise because she doesn't come to this side.

aunt: And where do you think you're going? she asked me with the most disgusted look on her face.

Me: I'm preparing for school.

aunt: you're not going there today. I want you to clean my house proper. I will have visitors later today, you will not show your face and scare my visites away siyezwana?

me: yes Aunt. ( that is all I was able to say. these past few years I've learned not to argue with my aunt or else I'll sleep without food for 2 days.)

I have this diary where I write how I feel during a starvation session, that is where I find happiness because I normally write how my life was supposed to be, like how would I have been if my mother never left, if I knew my dad, if I had siblings, if I didn't know my aunt. but today it's a different story.

** Dear Dairy...

Today I'm not going to school, I have to clean their house. I so wish my mom was around. I wish I could see her face just to see if I look like her. I wanna ask her about my dad, do you think she knows him?, will I be able to forgive her for leaving me?.

mother nature please make our paths cross.

T.L Dlamini**