ONE YEAR AFTER BIRTH
"He's gonna say his first word!" my dad squeals happily.
"Oh my god! He's definitely going to say 'mama'! I raised him using all the care I had!" my mom screams.
You could have instead just used a part of that energy and raised me using some common sense.
"Of course he won't say mama." My dad says.
Thank you dad. I didn't know you were this reliable.
"He's gonna say papa. After all, after buying him so much toys and spent so much money making him happy. My coworker told me buying toys can make your kids happy."
I look at the wooden dildos and other sex toys lying near me. That's not what your coworker meant by toys, you glue eater. You shouldn't be showing these to kids, much less keep them right above their heads.
"You like your toys don't you, Onna?" my dad takes a vibrator and puts it on my tummy to tickle me.
I stay dead silent.
My dad looks hurt. That made me happy.
I sigh inwardly. Addressing my parents as 'mama' or 'papa' would be an insult to all the parents in the world, and I prepare to say my first word.
"Oh my god! He's about to say his first word!"
"B-Balls" I say.
Immediately their expressions change. They look depressed.
"I-I mean, this means that our son loves our language and culture, right?" My mom tries (horribly) to convince herself.
"R-right?" my dad follows suit. "Maybe he's gay or something. Explains why he likes balls so much. Ha ha…..ha….."
They both fake-laugh, trying to hide their sadness.
They look so miserable that I start to feel bad. I guess I'll try and make them happy.
"M-m-mama." I say. And I can see my mom just snap her head back to look at me so hard that I thought it would come of loose.
"OHMYGODIDYOUHEARTHATOHMYGODOMAYGOTAMBASING!!" my mom jumps and screams happily.
Now my dad looks even more depressed.
"Oh, so the toys I brought that you used to play with yourself wasn't good enough?"
Stop making it sound so weird you creep.
"I guess money can't buy love." My dad says sadly.
Oh lord. I guess I'll say his name.
"Papa. P-papa." I say, saying it twice to compensate for the fact that I said mama first.
My dad's eyes light up and he jumps up "WOOHOOO! HE SAID MY NAME TWICE!"
"Today really is a beautiful day." My mom says happily.
My dad looks like he's in peace. "Ahhhhhhh."
He looks at me. "Say ''papa' one more time."
I stay silent. I've talked enough, fuck you. I'm going back to sleep.
THE NEXT DAY
"Oh no, no no son, you gotta get a bath."
My mom takes me to the bathroom.
She plops me on a baby-bathing-seat-thing and goes to another room to get the water. Today I'm feeling a little curious, so I decide to go there and see for myself what she's doing in there.
I manage to get out of the baby seating device, stumble to the door and I use all my might to slightly pry the door open. And then I see it.
My mom's hand…..My mom's hand is on fire, but she doesn't seem fazed about it at all.
I scream in terror and fall on my butt.
Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. I need to call my dad. My mom is burning, she's-
"Onna?" my mom is standing at the doorstep, hand still on fire. I can see worm-like translucent things crawling around her arm, being sucked into her hand. I'm too much in shock to scream, so I just watch in horror.
"Oh, this?" My mom looks at her hand. "This is fire. It's my Magical Inclination. Along with ice."
Wait. Did she just say…magic?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" My mom says, surprised. "You always look at me like you're bored!"
You talk about the dumbest shit, mom. If I listen to you, I might completely lose one half of my brain.
She brings her burning hand closer to me. The worm-like things look like they're made out of glass. They move like they're being sucked through a drainpipe, spiraling closer and closer towards her hand, towards something that my eyes cannot see. My heart starts racing. Fear turns to joy. Magic is real! What kind of magic can I do? Joy turns to fear again. Oh god. What if it's a really rare thing? What if-
"When you learn about your Inclination, I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun, eh?"
That means that I probably have it!
"Unless you don't…that's very rare though. It doesn't happen much. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Hold up. Don't tell me this story is going to be like that one green haired dude who wants to go to his hero academia or something.
"If you had healing magic, that would be nice. You could take care of me when I'm a 200 year old lady."
200? Do these people age slower? No, there are like 420 days a year. And each day seems to be just about the same as an Earth day.
"Or maybe you might inherit my magic, become a soldier like me. Being a soldier kind of sucks, to be honest."
My mum's a soldier? This person is responsible for protecting the lives of the people living in her region and collegues? My mum's the type of person who can somehow manage to cut herself with a toy knife. She's probably the second dumbest person in the planet, just slightly better than a certain father.
"If you got Tree Magic like your dad, though, you could live a happy life as a builder like him, but you'll need a higher amount of Magic Output than your dad's to live rich."
BUILDER? THAT DUMBASS IS THIS WORLD'S ENGINEER?
"Or you could get any of the Big 10 Magic, but that's impossible…. How insane would it be if you were inclined to Gravity, or Darkness or Space. Hehehe. We could at least get into the outer ring of the Ciudad…."
"Well, let's just worry about Inclination and Output for now."
I am born in a world of magic! I wonder what I can do in this world.
If only I don't have a terrible face like last time.....
My mother plops me on the baby seat again.
Then I realize that I haven't seen my face yet. I've been avoiding reflective objects. I'm too scared to look, because I don't know how I will be able to live happily if I was born with the same face. But now I am gripped with burning curiosity. How DOES my face look like?
My mother puts the bucket down. Bucket. Filled with water. Water is reflective.
I can't see my reflection from this angle. I want to get down. I try scootching off the baby chair to look at my face but my mother catches me before I can get down and plops me back in the chair again. I try it again. She puts me back on the chair again.
"What are you doing, little one?" My mom laughs.
Let go of me, woman. I wanna see my face.
"NNN-GUH" I protest.
"Alright, fine. Geez. Since when were you so interested in water?" The mother puts me down and watches me as I stand up shakily and walk towards the bucket. My mother's arms behind me, ready to catch me if I fall.
I am greeted by a perfectly normal-maybe even cute-face. I stare at the water, hypnotized. Then I see a familiar pair of eyeballs. Reddish, golden brown. Like lemon and maple syrup.
The face I had in my dreams. I had the same pair of eyeballs as this. Does that mean that I'll grow up to become as hot as I was in my dreams? Does that mean the "dreams" I had were somehow real?
I start giggling. New world. New face. Magic. A girl waiting for me. All of this sounds familiar. I bet I'm going to become an overpowered MC with a harem of 600 girls. Have so much sex that I get lower-back pain in my early twenties.
I start laughing. YES!
My mom looks confused. Probably because she saw a baby look at the water, start giggling, look at the water again, giggle some more and repeating the same process for about 20 more times.
"I think your dad dropped you on the head accidentally." My mom says.
I whirl around and look at my mom. Mother, you are talking to an Alpha male harem-god:
The Overpowered God of Harems, Onna Suki. I like the sound off it.
"Yep, you're messed up in the head." My mom laughs. "Anyways, you seem to be old enough to have your Inclination and Output Potential formed. We'll visit the local child-specialist, Dr.Moe Lester net week and see what you've got, eh?"
Just when I thought my day couldn't get any better. I can't wait to find out how strong I am. I bet I get like, fire magic, time magic or something. Maybe I'll be born with 4 different types of magic. And didn't she say something about magic output? I bet mine's at a trillion. I can't fucking wait.