During this time period, the Meth-Baby Warrior Baby Tribe from Eastern Kentucky were mostly nomadic. The akaline water used by the Babies to create what was coloquially called "Barbarian Brew," bby those who dealt with the Babies, and to the Babies, had become unavailable due to drought. The Babies began venturing further and further north, partially because they had no sense of direction, and continued on whatever path they originally ventured out from, and partially in search of "Canadian Ice," which they believed to be a new form of Meth. The first interaction between the Canadian Armed Riders of the High-Lowlands and the Babies was vicious. Armed with pails of Canadian Maple Syrup, which would become known to the Babies as "Death-Buickets," the CARHLs rode on six foot tall stallions which could cross the snowy terrain in the blink of an eye and were ever-vigiliant against any invaders.
The first Baby to endure a strike from a "Death-Bucket," did not manage to survive. It was struck in it's tiny little baby head. The CARHL rode past the group of Babies, followed by a hazy mixture of red from the shower of blood which had been released from the Baby's neck-hole and vaporized head, and white from kicked up snow. Like a colony of ants being attacked, the leader of the Meth-Babies focused all the Babies build up rage not on the CARHLs, as one would think would be the case, but on the Death Bucket itself, a steel pail of maple syrup. Their only goal, to make it their own, regardless of the cost. The dead Meth-Baby was unnamed, but he had been this group's leader. As was tradition during this time period, the group began skinning the corpse of the old leader and attaching it to their newly appointed leader, named King, as a form of respect for the dead leader. We can only assume how gruesome this process was; however, we do have evidence of the teeth and finger bones being removed and used to create a cro3wn for King, since archeological evidence of this has been discovered.
Rumors of what was done with the rest of the corpse:
Thigh and Calf Muscles: Used as pillows.
Rib Cage: Found, partially preserved due to the Canadian cold. Used as body armor.
Skull + Teeth: Attached to the second in command's head. Seated on top, like a crown.
The Meth Babies that recieved these impromptu additions were the first to die. Not due to the CARHLs, but because of the horrifying techniques used to preform the surgeries.
As the Meth-Baby Cluster, approximately 50 Babies, fully crossed the border into Canada, the CARHLs began their attack in full. Because the CARHLs were the official mounted defense force in Canada during this time, they made absolutely sure they would destroy the Babies with no losses, utilizing hit and run strategies. Over the course of seven days, the CARHLs utterly destroyed the misguided Meth Baby Cluster, not even bothering to clean up the remains. The CARHLs were more confused than anything. They continued wandering the Canadian-American border, looking to keep invaders out.
From the Baby's perspective, it was utter chaos. King had begun tripling his meth rations, and entered a state of stimulant psychosis well before the second Baby died. Charging forward into the frozen Canadian landscape, King could barely differentiate between the snowy landscape and the sky. He turned towards an ally, bisecting him with his sword-dick, due to him thinking he was a Death-Bucket, only to later realize it was his second in command. He had visions of the Baconator guiding him, and when the first CARHL struck the cluster, it reminded him of the Meth Arena from back home, where individual Babies fought to the death in order to earn extra meth and make a name for themselves; He and the other Babies attempted to catch the CARHL for less then a minute before turning on eachother.
Several began cannibalizing the others, bone, hair, skin and all. When less than twenty Babies remained, the CARHLs began their attack anew. All fifty Babies perished during this Seven Day War, while zero CARHLs were injured.
The Seven Day War,
As recounted by Alex Graham
The Meth Baby Warrior Baby Tribe from Eastern Kentucky