Like every other morning, I started by reading a book immediately I got up from my bed and washed up.
I then proceeded downstairs to have breakfast. With my parents today.
It was the only day of the week we had breakfast together, since Dad wouldn't have a morning shift. Wednesday.
"Morning mum, Dad" I greeted as I sat. I got a nod from my dad and a smile from my mum.
"Today is a really special day baby, its your birthday today". Mum announced and although she seemed happy, her facial expression was unreadable.
She smiled and then her face went sour. I smiled anyway.
"Thank you mum, I didn't know that".
"Of course" she replied as she opened the plate. "We'll be cutting the cake in the evening, we are sorry....we didn't prepare early" she said.
I couldn't let her do that, I know this birthday wasn't complete for them with Miley not here.
I smiled lightly and squeezed her hands on the table "it's okay mum, I need no cake. It's fine." She raised her head to look at me, we made eye contact and I saw the tears that glistened in her eyes.
She shook her head sadly, I wish there was a way I could stop hurting them. I know seeing me everyday reminds them of two pains.
The death of Miley and the fact that I don't even know who I was, I don't remember them either.
Dad cleared his throat and that snatched our attention. We both looked towards him.
"Many happy returns Riley, I hope you get your memories soon" He managed to say.
Sometimes I do think Dad hates me, we barely made eye contacts and we barely communicated at all.
He spent most of his time when home in Miley's room anyways.
Miley must have been his favourite.
"Thank you Dad". I responded too.
And with that breakfast was served, mum prepared the most delicious turkey ever! With baked potatoes. It was a feast!
"Thanks for the feast mum" I got up, cleared the table and proceeded to the kitchen to get the plates cleaned.
After I was done, I returned to my room to get my bag, it was work time.
"Bye mum, bye dad" I didn't wait to get a response today as I was already late.
I opened the door and was startled by the sight in front of me.
A smiling boy, the boy from yesterday. Nick. Today he was in a white shirt and black pants.
He waved lightly from under the tree with a hand, while his other hand was in his pockets. He was literally just outside our doorway. I didn't know how best to react.
I waved back weirdly, with no smile of course, cause I wasn't in anyway expecting him. Was he a stalker?! He looked too good to be one.
But who ever said stalkers couldn't be good looking.
He walked towards me with a huge smile plastered on his face. He was literally glowing.
"Hey Riley! I figured I'd walk you to work today, you know....just like old times". He shrugged his shoulders.
Just like old times?! Did I hear him right?.
Nick used to walk me to work?!.
"Oh okay" was all I said as we began our awkward journey. It was probably going to be the longest 10 minutes walk of my 6 months of a life!.
"So, about yesterday...I'm sorry about how I approached you, Nathan explained everything to me" he broke the very much awkward silence between us, this time he had both of his hands in the pocket of his pants.
I looked towards him for a slight second for acknowledgement "that's okay". I responded shortly to end the conversation.
"It's so sad to hear about your accident, I mean....I heard you lost your twin sister, Miley....it was a pity I didn't get to meet her" Okay, I say that's crossing the boundary....but I smiled anyways.
"It's fine, thank you". I responded politely with a tight lipped smile.
He looked at me for a brief second too before facing the front.
"And what's more painful is you don't remember anything. Like how is that possible? I thought things like that only happened in movies you know?!" Okay I've had it! I decided not to respond and just continued the journey.
He looked towards me probably for a response, but I didn't meet his gaze as I wasn't giving any response anyways.
I started seeing the bookstore from the distance and I couldn't be more thankful I would be free from this dumbo of a guy!
"Uhm....and happy birthday Riley", from his pocket he got a wrapped gift out and handed it to me.
He knew it was my birthday today?
"Uhm....Thank you" I replied politely as the package landed my hand....it felt like a book.
"I'd do anything for that smile" I heard him mutter as he was looking at me smiling in return.
"Sorry?, I didn't quite place what you just said". He realised his action and just shook his head.
"Never mind, it's nothing". He replied and I smiled in return. We were now in front of the bookstore and I was waiting to say bye..
"Have a nice day Riley" He said and returned his hands into his pockets before taking a turn returning back the way we just came.
I heaved a sigh and opened the door to the store.
"Happy birthday!" I gasped in surprise at the view in front of me.
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Nathan had organised a small party for me, he had brought together a couple people from the neighbourhood and few of our customers that I liked.
It was really sweet of him.
I received so many thoughtful gifts too, and right now....Two hours later, the party was over and the bookstore had emptied of the people.
Nathan and I were sitting by the counter munching on cake when the door to the shop opened and a lady walked in.
She had neck length raven black hair in a pixie cut.
She was wearing a black hoodie and some grey pants, I couldn't really see her face and I'm sure neither did Nathan.
I was too busy looking her from head to toe, I didn't realise she was now standing in front of the counter and yet her face wasn't so visible.
She wore a hat that covered half of her face.
"How may we help you ma'am?" Nathan asked and the woman raised her head a bit.
"Recommend for me your top three books on mystery/thriller". Her voice sounded so slurred like she was on ice or something. And quite familiar too.
Could she be someone I know?
"Of course" Nate responded and he led her away to the aisle where mystery books were kept.
They arrived back to the counter barely five minutes later with the books. I calculated the bills and placed the books in plastic bags before handing it over to her.
She paid in a rush and didn't even get her change before she hurriedly left the store.
"Strange right?" I looked over to Nate as I sat on the chair, he just shrugged but I was still bothered about whoever that lady was.
"What books did you give to her?, I wasn't really concentrated when I rang them up".
Nathan swallowed whatever left from what he was chewing.
"The silent patient by Alex Michealides, The split by Sharon Bolton and Gone girl by Gillian flynn".
"Wooohhh! Those are really hot ones you gave" I responded and continued munching on my cake as we both awaited the end of the day.
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Today was the most exhausting of my days living as my twin sister, Riley. Gosh! I hated people so much, especially the kind and nice ones.
They get under my skin in the most terrible of ways, like ants crawling over my body their hugs felt.
And the pretense smile all day was the worst! And pretending to appreciate all of the gifts everyone of them handed to me?! It was so exasperating and maddening.
Who could live life like that?! Smiling to everyone and being deadly nice?.
Books! Who cared about books?! Those were the gifts I received today.
Books?! Trash and trash.
Later that night as I sat on my bed and unwrapping every single gift I received, I couldn't be more tired.
I thought I would be able to live the rest of my life as Riley but today has thought me that it would be the most maddening decision I would ever made.
I would definitely go crazy if I continued my life like this.
I pulled on my head and gritted my teeth, not wanting to make any loud noises that would call the attention of my parents and most definitely expose myself right now.
I took a deep breath 'Calm down Miles, you can't be stupid now'. I mentally said to myself, taking a deep breath with my eyes closed in hopes to calm my nerves.
No, this wouldn't do! What i needed right now was a drink, I definitely won't be going downstairs tonight for dinner.
I moved underneath my bed and grabbed the box that was disguised as a book box. I stashed I with alcohol and used the books to cover it up, I picked one and opened it, not bothering to pour it in a glass and poured it down my throat.
Yes! The feeling....how it burned down my throat and the taste too. I closed my eyes to savour the taste. Its been so long. I've been waiting for the perfect day to take it.
My eyes snapped open and landed on a black parcel on the table, I hadn't seen that earlier.....I moved towards it on my butt and picked it up.
I tore the parcel open and in it there was a picture and a letter, not this picture it all too reminded me of the life I lived before.
Only one person had it and I thought I got rid of her already. The weird lady at the store today.
Patricia.
Patricia freaking Jones!.