[R18]
TW: Hemophobia and Trypanophobia
"Hi, sir, how are you feeling? State your name and birthdate please."
'Yun ang unang ginagawa ko kapag may pasyente ako para sa pormalidad at pagsunod sa procedure kahit alam ko na kung ano ang pangalan ng pasyente ko ngayon at kung kailan ang birthday niya dahil pabalik-balik naman siya dito pagkatapus ng tatlong buwan para sa kanyang blood testing.
"Ayus naman po, Nurse Ella. Kiezer Revie Fernandez po. Kier na lang. July 7, 2010," pagpapakilala niya. "Shift mo po pala ngayon? Buti naman kayo ang kukuha ng dugo ko. Ayoko sa isang nurse sa team niyo. Last time naka-tatlong try 'yun. Sumakit ang braso ko ah!"
I just smiled because of his comment. Intern pa lang siguro ang na-assign sa kanya three months ago kaya hindi pa marunong. The intern improved already and she's doing fine now. I just hope na hindi siya kabahan bilang nurse sa mga susunod niyang mga pasyente 'cause I am, too, when I am still starting.
"Magaling na siya, huwag kang mag-alala," ani ko.
Today's patient has diabetes and is just 18 years old. He's fighting for his condition. Although his Stage 1 Diabetes case has no cure, we always check his blood sugar levels to make sure they remain the same.
First, I identified the blood collection bags and test tubes before proceeding with the other procedures since I had already done my hygiene. The most important thing if you do blood collecting is to not forget to sterilize the skin and place a tourniquet before you perform a venipuncture.
I performed it so fast that he didn't have time to react nor say that it hurts. Nasanay na ako sa paggamit 'nun at na-overcome ko na ang pagiging pasmado ko kaya hindi na ako nanginginig kapag ginagawa ang venipuncture.
"Tapus na tayo, Kier. Thank you for your cooperation," sabi ko at nginitian ko siya habang inaayus ang mga gamit sa tray sa tabi ko.
"Thank you rin, Nurse Ellaine. Sana ikaw ulit ang ma-assign sa 'kin next month na punta ko dito," komento niya.
"Hm...Hindi naman pwede 'yun. Syempre, iba-ibang nurses ang mga maa-assign for blood collecting. Hindi lang ako ang available, okay?" Nakita ko ang pagsibangot niya dahil sa sinabi ko at pinanatili ko lang ang ngiti ko. "I'll go ahead. Ingat sa pag-uwi if you're going already. You can buy insulin patches or insulin pens in the pharmacy near the main door of the hospital for your basic needs, sir. Make sure to maintain your blood sugar, okay, Kier?" pagpaalala ko.
"Yes, ma'am." At sumaludo siya sa 'kin.
Tinulak ko ang trolley at lumabas ng ward. Malapit na ako sa laboratory nang salubungin ako ni Xyril. Hapong hapo pa siya at nilibot yata ang buong hospital para hanapin ako. Nasa Ward 1 lang naman ako kung saan dinadala ang mga diabetic patients na kailangang kuhanan ng dugo pero hindi niya alam 'yun.
"Hoy, Ellaine!"
Napairap ako sa tawag niya sa akin. She should have adressed me as 'Nurse Ellaine' or 'Nurse Gonzales', not with my first name. Hapo lang talaga siguro siya at pagod na pagod kakahanap sa akin kaya ganito ang tawag sa akin. Pasalamat siya at kakilala ko siya at pinili ko na lang siyang intindihin, kung hindi ay kanina ko pa siya napagalitan.
"Oh, bakit?" tanong ko.
"Tinatawag ka ni...Mr. Dela Rosa sa VIP Room 1. Urgent raw at natanggal ang cannula sa kamay niya."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. Imposibleng natanggal 'yun dahil ako ang nagkabit mismo ng buong IV System niya dahil ayaw raw niyang ipakabit sa iba at baka mamali pa raw, kaya paanong natanggal? Palusot na naman ba 'to ni Jason?
"Can you bring the test tubes to the laboratory? Malapit na naman diyan. Isang liko na lang, Nurse Corpuz," ani ko. "I'll go ahead to the VIP Room 1. Please inform Doctor Muñoz to come after me."
"Ikaw lang ang pinapapunta, nurse."
"Huh?! He will lose a lot of blood!" Napahilamos na lang ako sa mukha ko. Talaga nga namang ang daming gagawing reporting bago ako makapunta sa pasyente. "Whatever! I'll do it myself. I will get a Type O- Blood Donation Bag from the facilities. Be sure to inform Doctor Muñoz about this. He's his patient."
"Yes, nurse."
Umalis ako sa harapan niya at pumunta kaagad sa facility kung saan tinatabi ang mga dugo ng mga donors. Buti na lang at madali akong makakahingi dahil VIP patient ang may kailangan. Kung hindi ay ako na naman ang magbabayad at makakaltas na naman ang bayad ko sa sweldo ko. Ganun talaga. Kung gusto kong magligtas ng buhay, sweldo ko ang kapalit.
"Good afternoon, I need a Type O- bag for a VIP patient in VIP Room 1."
"I need a Type O- bag for a VIP patient in VIP Room 1. I repeat. I need a Type O- bag for a VIP patient in VIP Room 1," the facilitator talked to the Walkie-Talkie radio while I am standing next to the counter.
[Type O- bag for the VIP patient in VIP Room 1 will be delivered in 5 minutes. Please wait for your bag or you may charge 500 pesos to deliver to VIP Room 1.]
Five minutes?! Baka patay na si Jason sa five minutes na 'yun! Cannula ang natanggal, hindi ngipin! And I do not know if he has someone there to seal the wound on the back of his hand!
"Sige, ito ang 500." Naglabas ako ng 500 pesos mula sa bulsa ko at inilapag 'yun sa counter. "Please bring it to the room quickly after it is delivered. I'll assist the patient now. Thank you for your service."
Umalis ako ng may sama ng loob. 500 rin ang nagastos ko para sa charge fee sa dugo pero hindi naman ako nagsisisi dahil para sa pasyente naman. At the same time, naiinis ako dahil ang pasyente ay si Jason. Tatanggalan ko talaga siya ng cannula kung biro lang ang pagtawag niya sa 'kin dahil hindi biro ang pagiging nurse ko sa ospital na 'to.
Isa ako sa mga exceptional nurses at patuloy pa ring tumataas ang ranggo ko kaya hindi ko rin siya pwedeng tanggalan ng cannula at baka ma-kick out na ako kapag ginawa ko 'yun.
Tumikhim ako habang naglalakad at inilagay ang kamay ko sa bulsa ng uniform ko. Palapit na ako nang palapit sa VIP Room 1 kaya lalong bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Hindi naman ako kinakabahan sa ibang pasyente ko, dito lang. Siguro, dahil si Jason 'to at iba siya sa mga naging pasyente ko.
This is my ex and it makes me lowkey uncomfortable. Pinagtitripan niya na naman kasi ako, just like how he used to when we are still in high school...Pero iba na ngayon. Trabaho ang pupuntahan ko sa room niya at hindi biruan.
Kumatok ako sa pintuan at hinintay munang may sumagot bago ako papasok mamaya. Ayoko namang maging bastos na nurse kahit kilala ko pa ang pasyente ko.
Someone opened the door slightly. Sumilip siya sa pintuan at tinignan ako. It's a girl in a green chiffon blouse shirt, pink pencil skirt, and heels. Her straight long hair is tied up in a high ponytail. She's also tall and slim. Suki yata siya ng gym dahil sa hubog ng katawan niya.
Ako rin naman. Bakit ako magpapatalo?
"Good afternoon, nurse. Bakit po?"
"Good afternoon, ma'am. I will be checking Mr. Dela Rosa for a moment. I heard that his cannula was removed from his hand," I said professionally.
Kailangan kong pigilan ang namumuong duda sa isipan ko. Nasa trabaho ako at dapat ay ipagpaliban ko muna ang duda ko kay Jason. Tsaka wala ng kami kaya dapat ay wala na akong pakialam kung may babae siyang dadalhin sa kwartong 'to pero...Siya ba si Christine?
Pinagbuksan niya ko ng pintuan at pumasok ako sa kwarto. Tumingin ako sa paligid at pumunta sa kama kung nasaan si Jason. Lumapit ako sa may kama niya. Nakapikit siya at mukhang nagpapahinga kaya bumuntong hininga ako bago nagsalita.
"Sir, good afternoon," bati ko nang nakangiti. "I came here to check your IV. I was notified that there's a problem?"
Minulat niya ang mga mata niya at tumingin sa aking nakakunot ang noo na para bang nagtataka siya kung bakit naririto ako. Nang hindi siya kumibo sa tanong ko ay tinignan ko na muna ang tube ng IV System niya. Tumingin ako mula sa slider clamp hanggang sa cannula para masiguradong natanggal nga 'yun pero kumunot ang noo ko nang makita kong hindi naman natanggal ang cannula sa kamay niya.
Is he playing with me?
Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko at tumalikod. Suminghap ako ng hangin at bumuntong hininga ng ilang beses para pigilan ang tumitinding galit sa ulo ko. Nurse ako at kailangan kong maging maaruga, mabait, maasikaso at lalong lalo na ang maging mapasensya sa mga pasyenteng mahahawakan ko. Pero ito lang talagang pasyente na 'to ang matapang na paglaruan ako.
Syempre, sino pa ba 'to? SI Jason Lavin Dela Rosa lang naman, ang ex kong naka-FUBU ko noong pre-watch day ng movie ni Elle. Really, that memory ruins my mentality every time I remember it.
"Sir, I was notified that your cannula was removed. How come it was not when I came here already?" I smiled and tried to sound polite and not sarcastic, but I just cannot help not to be sarcastic when my patient is really trying hard to squeeze the ounce of my patience.
"Sinong nagpatawag sayo?" kunot-noo niyan tanong, nagpapanggap na wala siyang alam sa pagtawag sa 'kin. Sisiraan niya pa ba ko sa ospital na 'to? Ang tagal ko na dito. Jusko, mahabagin! Ang reputasyon ko!
"Sir, Nurse Corpuz said you need my help. If it's not about the cannula, what is it, sir?" I still tried to be polite around him but I just want to pull that fucking cannula! "I also charged my fee for a Type O- bag for you, sir. Nag-aalala po kasi akong baka naubusan po kayo ng dugo nung matanggal ang cannula niyo. It's just for emergency cases, sir."
"Magka'no?" tanong niya.
Tinignan ko siya ng masama habang inaayus ang IV System niya. Mariin niya rin akong tinignan. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay bago ako ngumiti nang makaramdam ng kakaibang tensyon sa tingin niya. He's like judging my whole existence in front of him.
"500 pesos lang, sir," sagot ko and I proceed to fix the things above his bed where the IV system is connected.
"Bayaran ko."
Napahinto ako dahil sa sinabi niya. Matapus niya akong papuntahin dito at gawin ko lahat ng makakaya ko bilang isang nurse para mapunan ang cannula niyang natanggal 'raw' at pag-alala ko na baka mawalan siya ng dugo, sasabihin niya lang ngayon na babayaran niya ang binayaran ko? Ano ba talaga ang nangyari sa kanya? Nabalian sa binti o nauntog ang ulo?
Ngumiti ulit ako sa kanya pagkatapus kong tignan ang IV niya at maligpit ang mga gamit sa nightstand niya sa gilid ng kama niya. "Sir, huwag na. Ako naman ang gumastos," ani ko.
"Christine," tawag niya.
Kumunot ang noo ko at nagtaka kung bakit nandito ang babaeng 'to. Natatandaan ko na naman ang away namin sa condo dahil sa babaeng 'to. Kaunti na lang ang pasensya ko sa kanya at baka masabunutan ko siya kung hindi kaagad siya aalis maya-maya. Tinawag niyang 'love' si Jason! Even though, I know I have no rights to complain dahil wala nang kami.
Wala pang isang minuto ay lumapit na ang babaeng sumalubong sa akin sa pintuan kanina at pumunta sa kabilang gilid ni Jason, holding a tablet. Secretary niya ba si Christine at ganito ang datingan?
"Yes, sir?" tanong ng babae.
"Pakisabi sa akin kung saan tayo pupunta after kong makalabas ng ospital?"
"Cavite po sa Aquino's Residence at sa Bataan po para sa pinapagawa niyo pong bahay."
Pinapagawang bahay? Lalong kumunot ang noo ko dahil 'dun. Magkakapamilya na ba siya kaya siya nagpapagawa ng bahay? It's none of my business but congratulations to him if he is married now! But I don't see a ring anywhere...and why did he have sex with me if he will build his own family already? Is he lying that he's single and it's still me?
Is he?
"Sige, salamat. Pwede ka na munang umalis at i-check ang ginagawa nila sa Navotas. Mag-report ka na lang sa akin kung maayus ba ang ginagawa ng team," aniya.
"Yes po, sir. Right away." At umalis na ang babae.
Hindi ako makaalis at natulos lang sa kung nasaan ako habang nag-iisip but at the same time, I'm amaed. Grabe naman silang mag-usap. Seryosong seryoso. Para naman akong naging chismosang kitang kita dito kakapakinig sa kanila kanina. Nurse lang naman ako, joke.
Narinig ko ang pagtipa ni Jason sa cellphone niya gamit ang kamay niyang walang cannula at nag-send ng kung ano sa kung sino. Nang matinag ko na ang lakas ng mga binti ko para umalis ay yumuko ako sa gilid niya at tumingin ng diretso sa mga mata niya. His brows furrowed, confused as how his face says.
"Aalis ka na?" tanong niyang inunahan pa ako sa pagpapaalam.
"Yes, sir," sagot ko.
"Don't 'sir' me, Lai. Tayong dalawa lang ang nandito."
Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko nang sabihin niya 'yun. Lalo akong nailang sa itinawag niya sa akin.
Lai...
It was fun to hear before and he repeated it again today but...It still pains me. I love him but I need to let him go for this course. For nursing and I cannot change that fact.
"Sorry, Jason. Pasyente ka rin dito kaya kailangang i-address kita gamit 'yun," pagpapaliwanag ko. "Pero bakit mo ko pinapunta dito? Hindi naman para sa cannula siguro?"
I have suspicions but I dared myself to act normal as how I know Jason will play the role of the rude patient. I need to act as a normal nurse who cares about her patients and not as a bitch ex-girlfriend.
"Palusot ko lang kay Xy 'yun," sagot niya.
I rolled my eyes out of frustration and clicked my tongue in annoyance.
"Sabi na nga ba eh," bulong ko.
"Lai..." He pulled my arm that made me close to him unexpectedly, making me rest my back in his arms and his face inches away from mine. My heart beats fast every second he goes near and near me. "I missed you."
Naramdaman ko ang pag ngilid ng luha ko sa sinabi niya pero agad kong winagayway ang braso ko para matanggal ang kamay niya doon bago ko siya hinarap nang nakatayo.
"This is wrong, Jason," ani ko.
Naiwan sa ere ang kamay niya habang nakatingin sa akin nang nakaawang ang labi. Umiwas ako ng tingin nang maramdaman ko ang init ng katawan ko dahil sa ginawa niya kanina. He really has that effect on me and that didn't change.
"What's wrong with that, Yezdaeca?"
Mariin ko siyang tinignan nang tawagin niya ako gamit ang second name ko. I was still not used to it until now. He calls me that but he's the only one allowed to do that after my family and no one after him dared to call me like that.
"Christine."
"Hm? What's up with Christine?"
"Nagpapagawa ka ng bahay kasama niya?" seryosong tanong ko.
Nakita ko ang pagbago ng ekspresyon niya nang mabanggit ko ang tungkol doon. I can hear his cellphone's notifications while the silence screamed. Hindi ko alam ang iba ko pang sasabihin. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang isasagot niya kaya naghintay na lang ako.
Yumuko siya. "Oo," sagot niya.
Naramdaman ko ang lalong pag ngilid ng luha ko dahil sa sagot niya. So, he's lying that he's single? He's lying that she's nothing to him? Lalo niya lang pinakita sa aking katulad siya ng ibang cheater!
"You're lying when you said it's still me?" tanong kong nanghihina na pero nanatili akong nakatayo. "Is she your...fiancée?" tanong ko at nakita ko ang pagkunot ng noo niya. "She called you 'love' when we're eating in my condo, Jason. She called you 'love'. Tell me and don't lie...Is she your girlfriend?"
"What?"
"Hindi ka bingi, Dela Rosa!" sigaw ko. "Is she your girlfriend?!"
"Are you jealous, Lai?"
"Just fucking answer!"
"Christine Mae Ruiz?"
"Bakit hindi mo pa lagyan ng apelyido mo?" sarkastiko kong tanong. "Christine Mae R. Dela Rosa."
I rolled my tongue inside my mouth while I say the full name of the girl with his last name. I can feel my tears falling. That should be me...That should be me carrying his last name and his babies. That should be me, right?
"Christine being a Dela Rosa?" He smirked at me and lean his head on the headboard. "Do not make me laugh, Lai. She's my secretary."
Yumuko ako nang sabihin niyang 'secretary' niya 'yun. It won't change the fact that they are always together and they can do things that we did before. He can bring her on dates, have sex with her, and most of all...introduce her to his family.
"Sure kang secretary lang?" tanong ko.
"If I touched another girl, it will be cheating for you, right?" tanong niya at itinaas ko ang ulo ko para salubungin ang mga mata niya. "Even you would think it will not be cheating and it's normal 'cause we're not together already, I won't touch anyone than you. Do you understand that?"
Natulos ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang sabihin niya 'yun. It was an assurance but I think I cannot believe it yet. I cannot recover from the endearment Christine called him.
"And that endearment you heard. It's not 'love', babe. It's 'Lav'. I told you this before, right?"
Lalo akong natulala sa sinabi niya. My mind went blank while I remembered the time he said that he doesn't allow someone to call him that nickname because it will cause confusion to everyone and I was victimized by it.
"Naloko ka?" tanong niya.
Lumapit ako sa kanya nang nakayuko at hinampas ang braso niya.Paulit-ulit ko 'yung ginawa habang umiiyak ako. I thought I was going to lose him. I thought he...he replaced me already.
Sinalo niya ang sumunod kong hampas at hinawakan ako sa pulsuhan. He pulled my wrist which made me sit on his lap. I looked at his eyes. It was like stars which made me cry more. Isinandal niys ang ulo ko sa balikat niya at hindi ko na napigilang humagulgol.
Matagal ko nang gustong ilabas ang mga nararamdaman ko pero mas pinili kong idiin ang sakit sa pag-aaral kaysa ilabas ang mga luha ko dahil sa pang-iiwan ko sa kanya, dahil kailangan kong unahin ang pag-aaral ko. I was suffering back then kaya ngayon ako sumabog. Sa harapan pa niya mismo. Sa bisig pa ng tanging taong tinuring kong tahanan ko.
"Tangina mo. Gago ka!" Sinuntok ko ang dibdib niya habang hinihimas niya lang ang ulo ko. "Na-miss rin naman kita eh..." My voice cracked. "Ako ang nang-iwan pero bakit ang sakit? Bakit ang sakit makita kang may iba? We're done but...it hurts to see her around you."
It was really painful for me to leave him. If it's not then, I am not one of the exceptional nurses in this hospital. Masyado kong inilaan ang oras ko sa pag-aaral at sa pagiging intern ko. Masyado kong sineryoso ang kurso ko para lang malimutan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. It did ease my pain for years. Pero iba pa rin talaga ang paglabas ng sakit kapag nakita mo na ulit ang binigyan mo 'nun and that made my pain unbearably drainful.
I am just used to cope with it. I am just used to use my work as an excuse.
It's also extremely painful for me to see him grow without me and with some random girl by his side, and I cannot stop myself from overthinking that something happened to them, that they also made love, that she became a fling.
But I stopped thinking about it already when he gave me the assurance I wanted. Hinayaan niya akong maging mahina sa harapan niya, dahil hindi naman lagi ay malakas ako.
Hindi lahat ng malalakas ay malakas pang habang buhay. Kailangan rin nilang maging mahina minsan para mailabas ang mga hinanakit na mayroon sila at 'yun ang nagpapatatag sa kanila sa pang-araw-araw nila. And that's all of us. That's reality.
"Masaya ka ba sa trabaho mo, asawa ko?" tanong niya.
When I heard his endearment, my heart won't stop beating so fast. Nakakabaliw 'yun at hindi ko mapigilan ang puso kong parang nasa marathon sa bilis ng tibok 'nun. Yumakap ako sa kanya at tumango. He kissed my forehead after that.
"I'm home already..." Humikbi ako sa dibdib niya. "Nakauwi na ako sa tahanan ko, mahal..."
He caressed my head. "Shh...Tahan na."
Tumingala ako para makita siya at medyo blurred ang paningin ko dahil sa pag-iyak pero kita ko ang pag ngiti niya habang nakatingin sa akin.
"Nakauwi ka na," aniya.
Tumango ako at pumikit. Naramdaman ko ang labi niyang dumampi sa labi ko kaya dumilat ako para tignan siya. He's now caressing my cheeks, not allowing my tears to fall into my neck.
"Malapit nang mabuo ang pangarap bahay natin, Lai," sabi niya habang hinahaplos ng isang kamay niya ang hita ko. I can feel my body heat intensify.
"Sa Bataan? 'Di ba sayo lang 'yun?" tanong ko.
He looked straight in my eyes and I also looked at him, battling with his stares. "Sa 'tin," he said and kissed me again. "With Luna and Sol."
Lalo akong naiyak nang mabanggit niya ang pangalan ng mga aso namin. He included our babies in his plans and I am happy about that. God, you gave me a man of his words here.
His hand started to travel from my thigh to my center and his other hand tilted my head aggressively to give himself access to kiss me more.
He bit my lower lip which made me gasp and he took advantage of that. He explored my mouth as he plays with my clit outside my pants. Shit. I was hungry for this for years.
I let out muffled moans as he keep playing with my clit. He stopped kissing me and stared at me with his eyes. I moaned again and I saw his eyes turned a shade darker. I can tell that he's feeling hot at the moment.
He stopped after I felt my released. I am panting. He kissed me once more before assisting me to stand up. My legs are shaking when I tried to stand up but I managed.
"Change your clothes, Lai," aniyang inuutusan ako nang makatayo na ako. "Also, lock the door."
"What?" Kumunot ang noo ko. "Baka may kailangang pumasok mamaya," reklamo ko.
"Do you want us to be caught, love?" He snuggled in my neck while saying that. It sent shivers to my body.
"Fine..." I was panting.
"May damit akong binili para sayo. Nandiyan sa ibabaw ng lamesa. Kunin mo." My eyes widened when he said that. Handa talaga siya sa ganitong bagay 'no?
Umalis ako sa pagkakaupo sa kanya at pumunta sa kaisa-isang lamesa na nasa gitna ng kwarto at nakita ang isang paper bag doon. Sinilip ko kung anong laman 'nun.
It's a halter-style dress with a V-neck line and straps that go through the back, crisscrossed. It has a slit on the left side and a ribbon that you can pull to adjust the length of the slit. The back is revealing. It just covers my buttocks and the bone above it. By the looks of it, it's slim, hip-wrapped, and perfectly fit for my body. The whole dress is knee length except for the slit. Panigurado ay kita na ang shorts ko kapag sinuot ko 'yun.
Napakagat ako sa labi nang mapagtanto kong sinadya yata 'to ni Jason. Tangina pang-sexy ang damit na 'to! Ano bang trip ni Jal at pinapasuot ako ng ganito? Personal nurse ako, hindi ako bar lady!
Tinignan ko pa ulit ang laman ng paper bag kung merong shorts pero wala! Nahiya ako bigla kaya lumingon ako sa kanya at sinamaan siya ng tingin. Ngumisi lang siya na para bang plano niya talagang hindi ako pasuotin ng shorts, but I have no choice! I also needed to ease my hunger.
Bumuntong hininga muna ako bago dinala ang sarili ko at ang paper bag sa loob ng banyo. Nilabas ko muna ang cellphone ko and contacted the facilitator to cancel my order of the Type O- bag and I said that they can keep my charge fee but it turned to something unexpected.
"Nurse Gonzales, it was already canceled a while ago and we already returned the 500 in your account."
"What?" Nagtaka na kaagad ako sa sinabi niya. Wala naman akong sinabing ibalik nila ang 500 ko. "With all due respect, facilitator, sino ang nagpa-cancel? And who told you to return my fee? Wala akong pinapa-return!"
"He chose not to reveal his name, nurse," aniya na ikinainit ng ulo ko.
He?
Tinatanong ko ang sarili ko kung sino 'yun dahil isa lang naman ang kilala kong nagte-text kanina at si Jason 'yun! Napakagat ako sa labi ko nang mapagtanto ko talaga kung gaano na siya kayaman para maging malakas sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. Tangina.
"Okay, thank you." Then, I ended the call.
Inilagay ko ang cellphone ko sa countertop na naroroon bago ko nilabas ang dress na binili ni Jason. By just looking at it, myself from SHS flashes in front of me. May ganito rin akong damit noon pero napunta na sa mga babaeng anak nina Kuya West at Ace. Hindi na rin naman kasya sa 'kin dahil tumangkad ako. But it fits Kacey and Chaniah well. Mga mana sa katawan ng mga nanay na sexy na sina Ate Candy at Ate Claire.
Hinubad ko ang ID Lace kong punong puno ng cards at pens bago ko sinimulang buksan ang top ko. Napansin kong bukas na rin ang dalawang butones 'nun. Binuksan ba ni Jason 'yun kanina habang naghahalikan kami?
Well, nevermind. I need to change my clothes.
Nagpalit ako ng damit at buti na lang ay hindi ako naka-bra ngayon. Silicone nipple cover lang ang suot ko. Mas comfortable kasing gumalaw kapag hindi naiipit ang boobs kahit wala naman ako 'nun. Charot.
I wore the dress and I looked in the mirror afterward. Napakagat na lang ako sa labi ko ng makita ang sarili ko. Tangina. Bagay sa 'kin. I touched my curve to make sure it really fits. I tightened the ribbon to its maximum before tangling it.
Tinanggal ko rin ang suot kong sapatos at medyas at nilagay sa paper bag. Tinanggal ko rin ang nurse cap ko at ang pagkakaayus ng buhok ko. Hinayaan ko 'yung lumaylay hanggang sa kili-kili ko. Lalong bumagay ang damit sa itsura ko ngayon.
Wala akong dalang liptint o kahit anong pampaganda kaya hindi na ako mag-aayus ng mukha ko. I just clip my hair into a half ponytail with my bobby pins. Tinabi ko ang mga natirang bobby pins sa paper bag. I fixed my baby hairs to make little bangs in front of my forehead and I looked at myself in the mirror.
Gagi, ang ganda ko. Para akong hindi nurse sa damitang 'to! Medyo naninibago pa ako sa masyadong revealing na suot ko pero ayus na 'yan. Request kasi 'to ng 'pasyente' ko.
I pull the sides of my dress when I feel the breeze under me. Wala kasing shorts na kasama ang dress na 'to at panty lang ang suot ko. Puta ng planong 'to! Doc. Muñoz, ano ba 'tong pasyente mo?! Ang wild!
Suminghap ako ng hangin bago binunton 'yun. Ilang beses kong ginawa 'yun hanggang sa mapagdesisyunan kong lumabas ng banyo, dala-dala ang paper bag ng pinamalitan kong damit. Nakita kong nagtitipa-tipa na naman si Jason sa cellphone niya. Sino ba ang kausap nito? Is he cheating at me this time?
Hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang ganun dahil sa mga nangyari pero alam kong babaguhin niya ang pananaw ko doon. Ako lang naman 'tong praning pagdating sa kanya dahil ayokong makuha siya ng iba. I don't want to lose him.
"Sinong kausap mo?" tanong ko.
Inilagay ko ang paper bag sa lamesa kung saan ko 'yun kinuha kanina at lumapit sa pintuan ng kwarto at ni-lock 'yun.
"Si Christine. She's updating me about the team in Cavite."
"Sa Aquino's Residence? Kaninong bahay 'yun?"
I sat beside him and trail my two fingers in his arms like it's a person walking. Naiinis na talaga ako. It's just my way of coping with it. Kanina pa kasi siya Christine nang Christine. Naiinis na ako.
"The house of the friend of Abegail's ex."
"Ni Axel?" tanong ko.
I think I met Axel once but I don't know where. I just met him again because of Abegail.
"Yes."
Inilapag niya ang cellphone niya sa nighstand sa kanan niya before aggressively pulls me on top of him. I was stunned to react. Ang bilis niya!
"Why, baby? Are you jealous again?"
Pinadaan niya ang daliri niya sa labi ko nang tanungin niya 'yun. Pa'no niya nalaman? I thought I wasn't obvious but I was wrong.
"H-Hindi," nauutal kong sagot.
"Really?"
He whispered in my ear and plays it with his tongue after. I moaned softly. Nanghihina na ako dahil lang 'dun. I can feel my body heat intensify more. Parang na akong nilalagnat sa init ng katawan ko.
"Hm?" He hummed.
He caressed my thigh while he stared at me like he was reading my entire soul. I can feel my cheeks burning while also looking at him. He caressed my cheek and my lips again that made me even weaker every second. Shit, iba talaga epekto niya.
"Hindi...Hindi nga ako nagseselos, Jason," sagot kong nanghihina na rin dahil palapit nang palapit ang kamay niya sa sentro ko.
Napakagat na lang ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko nang maramdamang namamanhid na ang katawan ko sa mga hawak niya. Hindi ko na kayang panatilihin pa ang kaunting wisyong pinanghahawakan ko kanina pa.
"Really, Yezdaeca?"
He placed his hand on the top of my undies and plays with my clit which made me lean on his neck and let out soft moans. Shit. He's making me crazy. Nagseselos lang naman ako, bakit naman ganito?
"Mhm..." Tumango ako sa tanong niya pero lalo lang bumilis ang paglalaro niya sa hiyas ko. Tangina.
"Your body says the opposite."
He keeps playing with my clit as he kisses, sucks and bites my neck. Lalo akong nabaliw nang maramdaman kong iginilid niya na ang tanging harang sa gitna ko at pinasukan 'yun ng isang daliri.
Shit.
"Shit! Jason..." I panted when he started moving it fast without even giving me a warning. Para siyang gutom na tigre na matagal nang hindi nakakain. I placed my hand on his chest and manage to look at him while he moves inside me.
"Gago...Jason...Ahh...Hm..."
I saw him smirk. My eyes widened when he added pace to his fingers just when I decided to speak again. "Fuck, Jason...Ahh, tangina! Ang bilis!" I cursed.
"Now, are you still jealous with Christine Mae Ruiz?" tanong niya na ikinagalit ko at talagang buong pangalan pa ang binanggit niya, huh?
"Pakialam ko sa babae mong si Christine Mae Ruiz...Ahh! Pucha, teka lang! Shit. Ugh, ugh! Mm...Shit! You're hitting my spot, Lavin! Ugh!"
He added more pace inside me when I said his second name like I said something that turned him on and it made me crazier!
Nagsisimula ng mawala ang mga inaalala ko at ang tanging naiisip ko na lang ay ang sarap na nararamdaman ko. Ito pa lang ay mababaliw na ako, pa'no pa kaya kung siya na ang nasa loob ko?
He added two more fingers inside me and that makes it three. Naramdaman ko ang pagsakit ng gitna ko but it didn't stop him. He tortured me more and added more pace, faster than a while ago.
I muffled my moans by kissing, licking, and sucking his neck. I heard him groan softly because of it and he stretched out his fingers inside me as an act of revenge. He's literally planning to break me!
It's been a long time since I did something like this intensely, and the last time was from him also. We were still in college back then. After 'nun, wala na akong ibang pinatulan. I focused in my studies and I just have flings. No sexual interaction and no strings attached. Mas sigurado pa ako kay Jason kaysa sa iba. Wala rin naman akong planong makipag-sex sa iba kaya dry season ako for years, not until he came back again and we did it in his car.
"Kaya mo pa rin ng tatlo, huh?" aniya. I was panting in his neck the whole time.
"Shut up," ani ko at kinagat ang labi ko para pigilan ang pag-ungol.
I heard him chuckle before slowing down his pace and made me kiss him again. This time I opened my mouth to give him accesss, and he explored my mouth once again. Nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag nang tanggalin niya na ang mga daliri niya sa loob ko. Pagod na pagod na agad ako dahil lang sa ginawa niya.
When I regained my strength, I pushed him down and straddle his hips, sitting on top of him. Medyo nabawi ko na naman ang lakas ko kaya pwede na akong makabawi. He groaned when I moved. That's when I decided to straddle him more. I heard him pant while I do that.
"Fuck...Ellaine..." I can feel my wetness down there when he said my name. He sounded sexy and hot with his 'not-so-deep' voice. "Huwag kang gumalaw..."
"You're enjoying this...'No, Lavin?"
"You're now calling me in my second name, huh, babe?"
Shit. Babe raw.
I am still riding him above the sheets but he still groans. I know he can feel it above the sheets. Ang dali niya namang malibog sa 'kin. He's just like this to me since we dated at ganun din naman ako. I never imagined someone else doing sex with me. I'll just cringe out.
"Hindi ba music in your ears kapag tinawag kita sa second name mo, Jason?" tanong ko.
"Shit, Ellaine..." He threw his head back on the headboard of the bed. "Ahh...Let's just do it, shall we? I'm getting a boner."
He held my hips to stop me from riding him and leaned forward to his right side to get something from the drawer. "Condom?" tanong ko.
"Yes. Ayaw mong walang protection, 'di ba? We're still not married yet, princess. We cannot do raw yet. You're a nurse. You cannot be pregnant while you're not married," aniyang nilagay ang paketa ng condom sa bibig niya. "Can you remove the sheets? It's getting in our way."
He doesn't sound like he's asking me to remove the sheets. He's commanding me and I am willing to do it as his personal nurse. Well...as his FUBU again...for now, at least.
Umalis ako sa pagkakaupo sa kanya at inalis ang sheets na nakaharang sa kanya hanggang sa paanan niya. My eyes widened when I saw his bulge. How come I didn't feel it?
He's still wearing a hospital dress and a pajama but it really is a hill. Napalunok ako. I can feel my wetness again and was curious again what's the feeling of it inside me. It's been years since I felt it and I don't know if it's still the same. Ganun pa rin ba o mas malaki na 'to?
"Sure pa ba akong itutuloy ko 'to? Lumaki ba si..." Lumunok ako nang makita kong pumulso 'yun. Lalo tuloy nadagdagan ang kaba ko. "...si 'Tiny'?" I convinced myself to just stare at it while asking because I wanted to back out now but I cannot. I need to ease my need.
"I don't know. I didn't measure it. Bakit? Natatakot ka?" He teased and smirked.
"H-Ha? Sino may sabi? Paano mo nasabi?" Tangina, nauutal na naman ako.
"Then..." He pulled my wrist causing me to land on top of him again. "Paki-check kung lumaki, nurse."
He, once again, succeeded to make me feel weak. His left hand held my wrist while his other hand with the cannula went to my hips. I stayed silent as I feel his stare on my body.
Nakadapa ako sa kanya kaya naramdaman ko ang pagpulso ng member niya sa puson ko. My eyes widened because of how big it felt. Tangina. Kakayanin ko ba 'to?
"Can you remove my pajama now? Sumasakit na siya. Gusto na niyang atakahin ang tahong mo," pang-aasar niya at tinignan ko siya ng masama.
Inilagay niya ang kamay ko sa balikat niya at inilagay ang isa pa niyang kamay sa pwet ko. He squeezed it that made me jump a little, causing me to sit again on his hips, riding him. I can feel his hill in my entrance already and that made me wetter.
"S-Sige."
I lowered myself and removed his pajama and his underwear. His member almost slapped me in the face. I heard him laugh because I gave him death stares but...It's bigger than the last time I saw it. Is it seven inches now? No...I think it's around 8. Last time it felt seven. Bakit lumaki bigla? Hindi pa naman lumilipas ang ilang buwan bago ulit kami magkita ah? Pucha, bahala na si Wonder Woman!
"Putangina..."
Napaawang na lang ang labi ko nang makita ang nasa harapan ko. I didn't resist touching it and I heard him winced. I move my hand up and down to give him pleasure. He threw his head behind him.
"Anong ginawa mo dito? 4 ka lang ah?" tanong ko.
"Ahh...Ang sama mo," aniyang hinihingal na.
"Hala, nagpapalit ka ng tite?" tanong ko.
"Lai, sinong gagawa 'nun - - Ugh, shit...don't hold it that tight."
"Ahehe. Peace." I showed him my left index and middle finger to form a peace sign.
"If you want to give it a blow, then proceed. Huwag mo lang higpitan ng hawak - - Shit! Lai! You're too hungry. Argh."
He threw his head back on the headboard when I started blowing his member. Sinubo ko 'yun nang walang pasabi at ginalaw ko ang ulo ko, pataas at pababa. Ginamitan ko naman ng kamay ang hindi na magkasya sa bibig ko. It's too big. I cannot consume all of it!
I bobbed fast while I played with his balls as he panted. Sarap na sarap pa nga.
"If you do that, love, I'll..."
He collected a handful of my hair before he bobbed my head faster. Sagad na sagad 'yun sa lalamunan ko and I love every second of it until he released. His juices went straight down to my esophagus. It tastes bittersweet. It's fine.
"Tangina...ugh..." He's chasing some air.
I crawled back on top of him and I removed my undies to give him more of the meal and he watched me as I did that. His eyes turned darker every second. I smirked when I felt his member slap my buttocks. He's really into this.
I straddle his hips again but this time, it's skin to skin. His member frictions with my labia minora and majora. My body tingles as it gives me pleasure. Dati nahihiya pa ako pero ngayon...ganun pa rin pero bahala na.
"Argh, Ellaine...Akala ko ba ayaw mo ng posisyong 'to?" He asked while we're doing the deed. We did this in his car already and now, he's asking me that?
"People changed...Hah...Ayaw mo ba?" I asked still riding him.
His hands roam in my back untangling the strap of my dress. When it was already undone, he lowered the top part of the dress, revealing my mounds and my silicone nipple cover. His mouth formed an 'O' when he saw it. He quickly removed my nipple cover and replaced it with his mouth.
I moaned when I felt his mouth contact with my skin. Lalong nag-init ang katawan ko sa ginawa niya. "Ahh...Mm...Huwag mong masyadong sipsipin...Mmm...Ahh, fuck! Ahh...shit. Tangina, Jason!" I screamed in pleasure as he sucked and plays my nipple with his tongue while on the other hand, his index and middle finger are playing with the other nipple which made me weaker even more.
"Masarap ba, Ellaine?" He asked and pinched my left nipple as a replacement for his mouth. I moaned as an answer. "Hm...Looks like I don't need to ask."
Tinignan ko siya ng masama at nginisian niya lang ako at hinalikan sa leeg. He sucks, kisses, and bites me there trying to leave a mark. Lalo akong naging basa sa baba. My pace slowed down because of him.
I bit my lips when I felt something building up in my stomach and he stared at me like he was reading me.
"Don't release yet, love."
"Shit...Jal, please." I am getting weaker every second.
"Not yet."
I bit my lower lip when I felt his member pulsed. We came together and I panted. Pagod na pagod na ako pero...matigas pa rin siya at tinaasan ko siya ng kilay nang maramdaman kong tumayo ulit and espada. Hindi pa ba siya nangangalay? Gaano ba siya katagal hindi nag-jakol para tumigas ng ganito katagal si 'Tiny'?
"Akin na ang condom. Ilalagay ko na."
Inilahad ko ang kamay ko sa kanya. My legs are weak and I can feel my nipples hardened again but I don't care. I need to wrap the condom in his member first.
"Are you sure you don't want it raw, princess?" He smirked and I rolled my eyes. Mang-aasar pa nga.