I still remember the day perfectly.
I could telly you every detail, even as they seemed so inconsequential at the time.
Even though I didn't properly understand what was happening.
But how could I ever forget the first time I felt despair?
I was only a child then.
The 'day the sun fell', as they call it.
But to me, it is just the day my father died.
Every year, it gets brought up, understandably enough, since it was kind of a big deal.
Every year, I cry myself to sleep, hugging my mother as we both grieve the same man, even if in different capacities.
My name is Hanari Senju, I am sixteen and my father is the man who brought the sun down on his foes.
It sounds cooler when I say it like that, and I prefer my memories of him to be cool rather than sad.
I still remember the day.
I was in the garden with my kaa-san. It was late in the night, but I had had a nightmare and couldn't sleep.
My kaa-san asked me what it was about and I told her.
I was dreaming about tou-san. Only, it was a nightmare, not a dream.
It didn't have any details, it was more like a horrible feeling in my gut and the knowledge that it had to do with my tou-san.
And so my kaa-san took me out to the garden and sat me on her lap.
She pointed past the flowers and into the dark night and boundless stars, and she said to me.
"Your Tou-san is out there, that way and he is one of the most powerful people in the world, and the best at getting out of trouble, so don't you worry. He will be home soon and you can show him your newest project."
Her voice was so soothing.
I had made a new flower, kaa-san said that it is not a flower that exists in the world.
A genuine original creation.
She said how tou-san will be so proud of me, and that we would bake cookies and celebrate together.
I was so looking forward to it.
But then I saw the light.
The direction we were facing lit up all of a sudden, like the sun had raised early and instantaneously.
The entire sky turned bright. It truly seemed as if it was still the evening.
And then after a moment it was gone, as if it had never been there in the first place.
I was confused, but happy to see something so interesting.
But kaa-san did not share my reaction.
I remember not understanding it at the time, being confused as to why her face had suddenly gone so pale.
Why was she clutching her chest like that?
Why was she shaking like that?
Why was she crying?
I didn't understand why. But I saw what she was feeling, and so I didn't complain as she put me to bed.
But it was hard to not understand what had happened when we were at the funeral.
I remember that too.
It wasn't a big affair, the funeral.
There was me and kaa-san, obviously. There was Minato-Oji and Kushina-Oba, as well as Yoshino-Oba and Kumiko-Oba.
Then there were the people I didn't know.
There was the clan head of the Nara, here with his wife Yoshino. There was this man who introduced himself to me as Takeshi, saying how if I ever needed anything, I should seek him out.
Not to mention that the entire Uzumaki clan showed up.
Even the Sannin came, though I think that was more due to a connection with kaa-san than because of tou-san.
I remember the snake especially, the creepy look he gave me still sends shivers down my spine twelve years later.
Even more so since he went traitor. I heard he was experimenting on people, so it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he was interested in my genes.
Not that it's surprising considering my heritage.
A Sannin and a Sage.
It doesn't get much better than that.
There was another person at the funeral. A man with unassuming features, the kind of face you would lose in a crowd.
He didn't say anything. Didn't speak to anyone. He just walked up to the grave, the people who knew who he was letting him pass without a fuss.
Then he just crouched down and spoke a few words, too quiet for anyone to hear, got up, and left.
I later learned that his name is Yukichi and that he was tou-san's oldest friend. That they used to work together and that they were practically brothers.
With how close they seem to be, it makes me wonder why I have never even spoken to him.
At the funeral was the only time I've ever seen him.
I would like to hear more about what my tou-san was like when he was younger.
My tou-san is my hero.
You see, I have always been smarter than the other kids, stronger and faster too. Just.. better than them.
And my tou-san understood that. He didn't treat me like a child and I love him for that.
He would give me anything I asked for without asking why, unless he was simply curious, but he never did that thing adults do when a kid asks for something where they ask what the kid wants with the thing because they think the kid is going to do something stupid.
I'm convinced that if I asked him to take over the village for me that he would have been the Hokage within the week.
But my tou-san understood that even if I was a child, I wasn't stupid.
I know this for a fact.
Because I remember the last conversation I ever had with him.
It was the day he had to go for his last mission.
We were at the front door, me having followed him out, asking him to stay, kaa-san following me amused.
If only I'd done more than asked. I should have begged. I would have begged, if I knew what was to come.
But he turned to me and he went down to one knee and held my shoulder, looking me in the eyes.
"Hanari, something you must understand, is that everyone must choose their own path in life. My path is to be a Shinobi, and so that is what I must do. Just remember, only you can decide your path. Never let anyone control your fate. Be strong enough that no one can."
And then he gave me a final gift.
A mask.
He said how it was his most important possession, and that 'he' will watch over me while he is gone. I asked him what he meant, how could a mask watch over me?
I remember his answer.
"This is Hound. Hound has looked out for me my entire life. But I do not need his help anymore, so I leave you in his care. Hound will protect you, just as he did me so never let yourself leave his sight. I love you, my little Merlin."
Those were the last words he ever spoke to me.
After speaking them, he gave kaa-san a kiss and left.
It seems so simple when I look back on it.
That was the last time we saw him.
As I grew older, I began to properly understand the lessons my tou-san had been teaching me.
Somehow, I get the feeling he knew he was going to die before I am properly grown up, so he wanted to teach me while he could.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that's the case.
After all, I remember him saying how I won't understand his words until I was older, but that I'd remember then thanks to my naturally strong chakra enhancing my mind.
I remember when I was older, maybe a few years ago now and asking my kaa-san about tou-san and the mask. Since sometimes she would say that she will tell me something only when I'm a Kunoichi.
"Your father was a Shinobi, and now that you have been a Kunoichi for a bit now, I will repeat something that I believe he told you before. All Shinobi are broken. In some way, big or small, we all have issues. It's not something you can escape in this job, but it's rarely terrible.
"Your father started younger than most. In fact, he was the first person to graduate at six, the only people managing to do so afterwards being Kakashi, Itachi and you. Then your father became the youngest person to join ANBU.
"This is where he met Hound. He didn't speak much about him, not liking the conversation. You see, Hound was your Tou-san's first friend. From what I have heard, they were like brothers, truly inseparable. Then, Hound died and a part of Hana died with him.
"He took Hounds mask, and acted as if he was still alive, watching over him. All Shinobi have issues, and this was his. He didn't like talking about it because he could hardly cope with the truth that Hound was gone. The fact that he would trust the mask to you, and you to it, just goes to show how much he loved you. Never forget that."
Since then, I never go anywhere without it.
It's like I'm carrying a piece of him with me, a piece of his life, of his past. I admit, sometimes I found myself talking to the mask.
Not that I think it's alive or anything, it's just therapeutic to talk, even if you are talking with an empty room.
I remember introducing myself to Hound and telling him about tou-san, about what he's like as a father, about what he's like as a person and what he gets up to.
I just miss him, so, so much.
In my weaker moments, I wish that I wasn't a prodigy, that I was like other kids who don't remember anything from when they were younger than four.
But I remember.
I remember so much and with such clarity.
I remember my tou-san, and the love he showed me.
I remember the way we would play together, the few times he got the time to at least.
He was always up to prank someone, and he never told me off for having fun.
Even if I broke something, he would just tell me to be better and help me improve my hand eye coordination.
He never got mad at me.
Kushina-Oba used to say how he has never been capable of getting upset with people.
Of course, then she went and joined my tou-san, along with Minato-Oji as the stupid Fox rampaged in the village.
Why does everything seem to fall apart in this accursed world?
First I lose my tou-san.
Then Minato-Oji and Kushina-Oba.
Then when I finally manage to make a friend my age who can match me, even surpassing me sometimes, he kills his clan and goes missing-nin.
I never understood why Itachi did that.
That gentle, pacifistic guy would never have been the kind of person to do that.
Then again, I have my suspicions as to who was behind it, but I have no proof so there isn't anything I can do about it.
You see, after the funeral, the guy who kaa-san said was tou-san's oldest friend went around giving out final messages.
Because apparently they were close enough that tou-san trusted him with something like this.
My letter was not as personal as I would have liked, but is my most treasured possession nonetheless.
I have read it so many times that I know the words by heart now.
'My little Merlin, you have the potential to stand among the strongest as a legend, never forget that and don't waste that potential.
I have a request of you, please look after your mother, just be there for her. She has lost so much and I don't know if she can take losing anything more, so just be there for her. Make sure she knows that she still has, and always will, have you.
And always remember, I love you, more than anything, no matter what you do, what path you take or what choices you make, I will always love you.
P.S Tsunade's favourite food is chicken breast.
P.P.S If you ever need anything, find Yukichi, he will do anything for you and you can always trust him
P.P.P.S Your mother will probably be stingy with money to treat you not to take things for granted, so below you will find the information to one of my bank accounts, now yours. Congratulations on being rich! ^_~
P.P.P.P.S Don't trust Danzo, ever.
P.P.P.P.P.S I love you.'
I miss him so much that it hurts sometimes.
We never figured out what his nickname for me means. When I asked he simply said how he was called the Samurai of Flowers once, but that I would be more of a mage. I don't know what any of that has to do with my nickname being Merlin though.
More than anything, I just want to see him again, to show him how strong I've become. I want him to see me, to be proud of me and my progress.
I am already considered an S-class threat, like Itachi and like tou-san.
Though even though we hold the same threat rating, I am not nearly as strong as tou-san, or Minato-Oji.
The two of them are held in similar esteem as the First Kage Hashirama and Madara after all.
And just like the old generation, the two of them were best friends, at least they didn't repeat history by killing each other.
Which makes it a wonder that the both of them still managed to die within a couple of years of each other.
But even if I can't match them yet, I am confidant that I could at least put up a fight, I am after all the only person to be born with Wood Style since Hashirama himself, so theoretically, I should be able to match the First eventually.
I'm just waiting on the day that tou-san told me about.
He once said that when I get closer with my wood style, that I will feel something different, a new type of energy and that when that day comes, I will take my place among the strongest of the world.
All I have to do is wait.
I will become the strongest, for you.
I will make you proud.
I love you.
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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
What? you thought I wouldn't kill my main character? Psshh.
Also, I do consider the last chap to be the 'true ending' but I figured some people would prefer a different ending so I am gonna just do both :)
It's an important distinction cuz if I do any other (sequel?) fics with Hana, it will be after the last chap
Also! the next few chaps will be something like snippets before we tune back in with hana
Advanced chapters with the links below! Keep in mind that Ko-fi is better, Pat/reon is just more popular!
V Takes a cut of donations V
pat/reon.com/user?u=41732867 (get rid of the first slash)
V Does not take a cut V
https://ko-fi.com/bored_works
https://discord.gg/Pj3Dttwses