"Have a good night Tsunade-sama, and thank you again for stepping in." Some Medic call out to me as I leave the hospital for the day.
He probably has a name, but I really just don't care enough to remember it.
I find myself doing that a lot these days if I'm honest with myself.
I start the walk back home as I get lost in thoughts.
Ever since he...
I've lost so much, and I just keep losing.
First Hashirama-Jii, then Mito-Ba.
Then Dan.
And then, when I finally forget that pain and move on, finding love in Hana.
He just goes and dies too.
It all just hurts so much.
Even when we started to come together, Hana and I. I was convinced that he just wanted to get in my pants again, but sober this time.
But I gave him a chance anyway, because I was sad and lonely and I just wanted someone I could rely on.
In hindsight, I was simply desperate.
But I'm glad I accepted his offer of a date.
I knew he was a playboy, practically every woman in Konoha knew about him after all, and so I refused to lay with him.
Testing his genuineness.
And he passed. Or at least, it would have taken a whole lot of effort and skill for him to have somehow slept with someone without me hearing about it.
So I decided to go all in.
I have always been a bad gambler.
After we finally got together properly, I was terrified that he would leave me afterwards.
But he stayed, and I couldn't have been happier about it.
Let's just say there is a good reason why he was so well known among the women of the village.
And then we had sweet little Hanari and my world became just a little bit brighter.
But it was only after she was born that I started noticing things about the man I married.
Nothing bad really, just... the psychological issues that anyone who started this business as young as he did would have.
I don't know how I didn't see them before. I guess I just thought he would be unaffected by it, since he always seems so calm and casual and I don't think I've ever seen him genuinely upset about anything, ever.
But there were the small things, like the mask, Hound.
Sometimes when he was excited about something, he would feel the need to tell Hound about it, to keep Hound updated on his life.
I know it's not exactly healthy, but it lets him cope, and it's not like it's harmful anyway, people talk to pictures of the dead all the time.
Things like that, or the fact that sometimes he would look at Hanari and get lost in thought, or memories.
I never asked him about what was going on in his mind, and now I will never know.
The real focus of my attention however, was the things he would tell Hanari, even though she was so young, no matter how smart she has always been, he would say things that only adults should know.
Telling her about the hard truths of the world, how she will understand his words when she is older.
I remember him telling her,
"You are the only thing in this world that matters, you understand me? So whatever is happening, always do what you want, as your will is higher than any other will or law or moral."
It felt wrong for him to tell her that, to teach her that, but when I thought of what to say to express that, no words came to mind.
I agree after all, my precious little flower is the most important thing in the world and I will do anything for her.
So I never said anything when he would tell her these things.
It helps that he doesn't get to see her much, being constantly busy, even more busy than me and I'm the head of the hospital.
It's all just so stupid.
How could you die?
At least, you got what you wanted, didn't you?
You said how you wanted to be a Legend.
Well, now you are.
People speak of you in the same breath as Madara and Hashirama-Jii, as well as Minato, ever since he gave his life fighting the Kyuubi.
So you got what you want.
I just hope it was worth leaving me behind.
My feet seem to have guided me to my home.
Our home.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.
This village is so full of bad memories. So full of pain.
Why do I even stay?
Why don't I just leave. I mean, what has this village ever even done for me? Sent both of the men I have loved to their deaths?
So I wonder, why do I even bother?
"Kaa-san! You're back! I made your favourite so go wash your hands and we can eat!"
And then I am reminded of why I stay.
Because of my daughter, my beautiful daughter who reminds me of her father that she takes after so much that at times that I feel like crying.
She looks so much like him, but female, obviously.
Long pink hair in a pony tail, almond brown eyes that are just about everything she seems to get from me appearance wise.
She is already taller than me and has a very toned and athletic body, as all Ninja do, except for the Akimichi I suppose.
She even has rather small breasts, not flat but they may as well be compared to mine, which is part of why I say she only inherited my eyes.
But who knows, she still has time to grow after all.
My dear daughter.
She is all I really have left.
I have Nawaki I suppose, but he moved out and fell in love.
It's amazing how much falling in love can affect a person. He doesn't even really care about being a ninja anymore, never mind being the Hokage, content to be a simple doctor.
I am happy for him, but it would be nice if he visited his big sis every now and then.
So my daughter has been my rock.
She is always here to make me feel better.
Whenever it gets to hard to simply be, she would always be there, cooking for me or taking me on outings to but clothes or what have you.
I don't know when Hana had the genius idea of giving her money, nor do I know where it's coming from exactly, but she never seems to run out.
I think, the only reason I am still in this village, is because of my daughter.
It's a shame she doesn't want to be the Hokage, because old man Hiruzen keeps annoying me to take the dumb hat, or to convince Hanari to.
But another thing she inherited from her father is a complete disregard for authority and a hatred of paperwork.
Then again, everyone hates paperwork.
Despite her age, she could definitely take the mantle, her resume is strong after all.
Child of a Sage and a Sannin, then there is her Wood Style, the first since Hashirama-Jii.
That alone would be enough to compete, but she is also the Senju heir and as the daughter of Hana, automatically has the support of the whole Uzumaki clan, not that they wouldn't support a Senju anyway.
But my little genius daughter is also an S-class ninja.
Just like both her parents are, only she will likely surpass me soon, and then she will eventually surpass her father.
Though, I don't think anyone can do anything like his final move.
Because of course he just had to be dramatic.
No one has any idea what he did exactly, but whatever it is, it created a crater that put the valley of the end to shame.
At least he accomplished his mission and brought an end to the war.
The first thing the newest Raikage did was sue for peace, something he could do easily without his Daimyo getting in the way.
"Here you go Kaa-san!" Hanari says as she puts a plate in front of me and takes her own seat.
I didn't even realise I'd sat down I was so lost in thought.
That happens sometimes, where I seem to lose time just lost in thought.
I eat and am reminded of another thing Hanari inherited from her father and that is that she is a great cook.
Then again, from what I hear, Hana was a terrible cook when he started, but his daughter is a prodigy, like in all things.
If that brat Kakashi actually put in the effort to train properly then she might still have someone in the village she can fight.
Because ever since Itachi...
Ever since then, the only people in the village that could fight her are Hiruzen and I, but I could never fight her, not even in a spar and she can't exactly go asking to fight the Hokage.
Though, with how much she likes a good fight, sometimes I feel like she would do it anyway. Another thing that reminds me of him.
Then there is 'that' similarity between the two of them.
I honestly can not remember how many boyfriends she has had and she is only sixteen.
Honestly, if it wasn't for contraceptive Jutsu, I wouldn't be surprised if I was expecting to be a grandmother by now.
Life just isn't the same without him.
But at least we have peace, so my daughter has not had to fight in a war, something I hope does not change.
We finish our food in silence, me too deep in thought to even realise before I was done.
When we are both stood afterwards, I walk up to my daughter and I wrap her in a deep hug.
She doesn't say anything and just hugs me back.
She doesn't mention the way I shake nor my tears.
She never does.
I really don't deserve her.
"I love you, daughter of mine. I love you so much." I whisper.
But no matter how many times I say it, she could never understand just how much she means to me.
"I love you too Kaa-san." She softly replies.
We spend the rest of the day talking, well, mostly it's her telling me about her day and then talking constantly.
I don't really have anything to say, my day is the same boring hospital work as always and I like just listening to her talk.
It reminds me that she is here, that I'm not alone.
I think that's why she does it in the first place.
I love her so much.
But today is one of the bad days, and I tune her out as I get lost in my own thoughts again.
This time, I'm thinking about the letter.
Because of course he had a set of letters ready to be sent out in the case of his death.
He did always seem to be prepared for anything, his old Genin team can attest to that.
Not that I've ever spoken with them, but I hear that they are very effective and rarely caught off guard.
But his letter to me, well, I don't know what to say about it.
I am glad I got to have some final words with him, and Mantis explained to me how the letters got here and knowing that in his final hours he was thinking of me warms my heart.
I still remember the letter, even if I haven't read it in a while, but I could never forget it.
'Heya Tsu-chan! If you're reading this then I'm dead.
Sorry about that I guess. I didn't mean to die. I know you have lost a lot and that losing even more will be difficult for you, so I just want you to remember that you are not alone.
So look after Hanari, and let her look after you too. There is no reason you can't both help each other.
Also, there is this kid, Itachi. He should be about a year older than Hanari, see if you can set up a play date or something, I think they will get along.
Oh yeah, if anyone lays a malignant hand on Hanari I trust you to turn them into blood mist.
I love you and I am sorry I died.'
Idiot. You should be sorry.
I don't know when I got to my bed, but by the time my mind is back in the outside world, I am already tucked in.
I really, really don't deserve such a filial daughter.
As I drift to sleep, one thought resounds through my darkening mind.
I miss you.
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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
Posting both chaps now cuz it's 10am and I'm about to go to sleep and won't be awake to post by 5.
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