I woke up to the sound of Hera's footsteps entering my chambers. I looked at the empty space beside me. Damien must've left in such silence. I don't blame him. Cause if I were to be honest, last night's events might've broken down our emotional walls. I don't care that he left without a goodbye.
"Good morning," she greeted me, handing me a cup of tea. "The Prince just departed with Jonah not too long ago. He looked very... unreadable."
"Who?" I asked, "Jonah? He's been like that since I rejected him. Getting pregnant with Damien's baby was the cherry on top." I slumped back on the bed feeling lazy. I was still naked and tired.
Hera shook her head, saying, "Damien looked unreadable. He asked me to give this to you before he left." She handed me an envelope with Damien's seal. I opened it up and read.
Angelique White,
I decided not to wake you as I left. I saw how at peace you were in your sleep. You looked like an angel. You always have whenever you're asleep. When you're awake, you're usually a pain.
Last night, when you and I were one, I felt something inside me shift. I didn't know what it was, but I'm certain you felt it too. It was warm and different from all the other times we've lain together. I just knew it was special. During the act, all I could think of was how much I needed you, and wondered if you needed me too. I just wanted to feel you and be with you. I never felt like this with anyone before. I'm sure it's not lust. Lust is just wanting your body and making it my own as I pleased. This was something else. Perhaps this is the baby's effect yet again. It draws us closer together because it knows that we're its family.
I can't imagine how our family will turn out to be. I am, as you know, not exactly perfect. I have a million list of flaws. We both have a lot of things to work on ourselves. It scares me to become a father. My father was never there for me to begin with. I know that you and I can relate to being abandoned as a child and pushed to becoming who we are today. We're polar opposites, you and I. And though we supposedly loathe each other, I know that both of us would work together in order to give this child a loving home.
I promised you that I would return to you and the child alive, and that's what I'll do. I swear it on my soul. I will come back in time for your birth. There are plenty of things that I'm not sure of in life, but I'm sure about one thing—I want to be part of our child's life.
Please continue to take care of yourself while I'm away. I left the book you requested on the desk in our chambers. I hope it interests you. Also, I have instructed Maidservant Rose to take care of you while I'm away. You can count on her as a second mother as I have when I was young. I am sure that she will take care of you with the best care. I leave you in her caring hands.
Your husband,
Damien Cross
I put the letter down, trying to process what I just read.
"Is something the matter?" Hera asked.
"No," I replied, "I just can't understand him."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"I mean... He has changed. We both changed. Before I married him, I told myself to never forget why I was doing so," I explained, "I made it clear that I shan't make any connections with him. Even my parents made it clear that I could not be attached to him. He is still the son of our greatest enemies. The marriage we have is just to keep the peace between us. If I let my heart go soft, my loyalties may be compromised."
My mother made sure I knew what was to come should I ever let my heart win. I will lose my throne and be the cause of the destruction of our family. Now that Damien's gone, I can no longer feel "dependent" on him as I have these past weeks. Friendship between us is permitted, but not preferred.
"Are you starting to fall for him?" she asked, placing her hand on mine. "I'm your friend. You can tell me anything."
I smiled. She is one of my closest friends. Still, I do not think I have fallen in love with Damien. I think I just became dependent on him; that's all.
"I haven't," I said, "At least I do not think so."
"You shouldn't," she said, "Remember your duty and what's at stake. You are the future Queen of White. You cannot let yourself falter."
"You're beginning to sound like my parents," I said.
"Still, you know I'm looking out for you," she says, holding my hand, "You can make him fall in love with you. Turn him into your marionette. But you must never let him take your heart. Once he knows you love him, he will not hesitate to use you. Love is the most dangerous thing for people like you. Damien isn't Jonah; he will use it to your advantage. He is being kind to you because you're with child. Once you're of no use to him, he will dispose of you."
I sighed, knowing there may be truth in what she said. She's not wrong. Damien Cross would be the most ruthless, fiercest warrior alive today if I hadn't swiped his title from him. We're the two most dangerous people alive. If I can betray him, he sure as hell can betray me.
"I know," I assured her, "What do you advise I do?"
"You've seduced him, have you not?" she asked.
I nodded in response. "Yes, I'm quite sure that I can satisfy his needs."
"Good," she applauded, "Then you must capture his heart. Damien Cross is said to have never been in love. You will be the first to bend him. By doing so, you will have more power than any other woman today."
"Hera, I am known for my intelligence in battle and my ruthlessness," I say, "I don't know anything about love. You saw how Jonah and I turned out. I turned him down."
"You loved him," she says, "Just think of this. Think about what you could've done to capture Jonah's heart. That should be enough to help you get started with Damien. Also, you can start by asking Maidservant Rose. She raised him, so all information regarding him is safe to ask her. Not to mention, she happens to like you for her son. She believes you're the key to straightening him out."
That's true. Maidservant Rose enjoyed my company. She often confessed her admiration for my strength. The key to taming Damien's wild heart is with his mother.
I soon got ready, determined to regain my power. After bathing and getting dressed, I made my way to court where everyone was staying. All eyes landed on me in an instant. Most of the people in our fortress were the wives of the most powerful people. All men, including my father, left earlier to fight on the front lines.
"My daughter," mother greeted, escorting me to a booth. Queen Isabelle, Queen Grea, and other ladies accompanied her. " What brings you here this early?" she asked.
"My husband had left so I decided to see what was happening here in court," I say, "Since everyone left here is a woman, I would like to learn about everyone's customs. We at White are not limited by the power we may possess. I know that Queen Grea and the ladies of Cross are limited. What about you, Queen Isabelle? Do you have power in your court?"
She smiled, sipping on her tea. "I'm afraid I do not have as much power as you, Princess Angelique. It must be nice to be born into a family that allows women to lead. I envy you, Princess."
"Do not," I say, holding her hand, "Every family has its burdens."
"Princess," said Queen Theresa of House Wolf. She's young and beautiful, and about seven years my senior. She had long blonde hair and green eyes. "Last night, your cries were heard all around," she giggled, "Is Prince Damien that really good of a lover? I heard half the world is jealous of you for bagging such a stud!"
I blushed, shying away. "Yes," I said, "My husband is an amazing lover."
"How is he?" asked Queen Rosie, the wife of King Steve. "Is he gentle, or are the rumors true? Is he a beast on the bed?"
Is this all that women talk about after marriage? I've never been allowed in this booth before. I suppose now I know why. All these women care about is knowing how well my husband can do the job.
"Apologies," I say, "But I do not feel comfortable talking about things that happen between my husband and I."
They laughed at my face as though they were mocking me. Was I wrong to feel embarrassed? Their choice of topic is... quite distasteful. We aren't even friends. Why must I share intimate details about my husband?
"Princess Angelique sure is innocent," laughed Queen Theresa, "Perhaps she still belongs in the group beneath us."
"Ah, yes," nodded Queen Rosie, "The group of the unpicked flowers. But even then, when you were but an unpicked rose, you didn't join the group of these young ladies. You rarely do so. Often, you're training or studying."
"That's because she's the future queen," said my mother, "And look at how she turned out. She's absolutely radiant. She's beautiful as she's strong. She is the person who defeated Damian Cross in battle."
"The famous Battle of Whitefield," said Queen Theresa, "I heard about that. You have secured your place in history by conquering such a man. In addition to that, you managed to wed him."
"And the key to attaining peace is to end all wars," added Queen Rosie.
They were all stating facts that we all know. What was the point of it? I sighed, drinking my tea. "I have a question as an expecting mother," I say, "How excruciating is childbirth?"
Isabelle responded, "Incredibly painful. Losing your purity was already painful because your husband tore your entrance. Imagine how painful it is for your child to do the same. Your husband tears you from the outside coming in; your child will break you from the inside coming out."
Grea looked at her with a pitiful look. "I heard you still haven't conceived, Queen Isabelle. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious child."
"That's right," said my mother, "How many times have you given birth?"
"Twice," she replied, "I've had three miscarriages. My first child was stillborn; a girl. The second child was a boy. Unfortunately, he lasted three days." What I heard about her wasn't true then. Her reality is much worse.
"My condolences," I said, holding her hand. I can't bear to imagine how she must feel. How would I feel if something happened to this baby? For sure, I will be crushed. On top of that, I will be shamed by everyone who hears of it. I may have conceived, but my fight isn't over until I deliver this child. They prefer that my child be a boy, but I would love it the same if it ends up a girl. If the baby is a girl, she will inherit my throne after me. If it's a boy, then he inherits his father's crown.
"I appreciate it," she said, "I advise you to stay in bed, Princess. The less you move, the less you risk your child. But I suppose you were blessed with incredible genetics. Your child must be strong so you needn't worry."
Everyone had a lot to say. Of course, I stayed there. The conversation began and ended with Damien and I being their prized topic. It's like they had nothing or no one else to talk about. The advice regarding babies was things I have read in the books, and it was so obvious that they had multiplier motives. It doesn't matter. The person I wanted to speak to was Queen Grea. She hates her son and I have a deal to propose to her.