How the hell did I get here? I'm staring at the bell, am I going to ring the bell or not? Jake wasn't kidding about that "meeting" which I was hoping for. This gathering is simply the team that comes together before a match. Although I won't be playing tomorrow, thanks to my hands, the nurse said I needed more rest, bullshit. Still, I am at this "meeting", that's how Andrew calls it. I laughed at him squarely.
This week was actually quite good, better than last week. Besides the fact that Walker and Tyler tried to belittle me again and Jake recorded it for me several times and Andrew and/or Keith confronted them a few times.
I'm not talking about Charlie on purpose, not because I try to forget her, she just lingers in my head. Especially after last week and the embarrassing incident. Charlie helped me the most.
Maybe it's because we're girls or just because we click, but Coach has decided that we are training partners and I don't know if I should be happy about that. It turns out Charlie is quite open about her sexuality, she only likes girls, that's pretty obvious. I said I wanted to know more about her, I didn't mean I wanted to know who she fell for, guess I just asked for it a little bit.
Shelby is fine, we've only hung out twice so far. She's quite nice and I can laugh with her, I just don't know if she really is my type of friend. She belongs to completely different cliques than I am, I am more of a loner. Actually, I already think it's terrible that I have to come here, but woohoo team spirit right?
I can no longer ring the bell, the front door opens. Jake stares at me with a grin. "It looked like you got an error, come in." He steps aside for me.
"Uhm, yes sorry."
"We all have our brain errors." Jake on the other hand, I get along well with him, he doesn't expect anything from me, I don't expect anything from him, perfect and he treats me like an equal, that might be the best. Okay no, how he embarrasses himself, that's the best.
"Okay, before you get mad at me, I tried to stop them, but they finished all the pizzas." I pretend to get angry and then laugh at him.
"I don't mind, I just ate." That's a lie, I'm actually terribly hungry.
"You sure? I can still throw a pizza in the oven." As much as I want to say yes, I still shake my head. "On the healthy tour, it's much smarter." I roll my eyes.
"Finally." I hear Andrew growl. I smile faintly as we step into the yard.
"I found her," Jake says, pushing me onto the couch.
"I can finally open my beer?" Keith teases. Andrew kicks him and some other guys punch him. I only now look to the right for the first time and immediately regret it. I am introduced to two bright blue eyes. Eyes I know well.
"That lasted long enough," Charlie grins, biting her lip.
"Sorry, I still had to eat." Lie.
"No problem." She stares into my eyes. "Have you been to things like this before?"
I wait a while before I answer. This is going to sound silly, so I turn my head away and fiddle with my shirt.
"What?" Charlie nudges my shoulder. I swallow, I shudder to the touch. "You're not going to tell me you never sat with your team."
I am now staring at the ground. "What if I say it is." I say it softly, I am ashamed.
"Then I say that we are going to change that." My gaze shoots to hers, she was already looking at me. "You're not going to regret it." I still have doubts about that.
"So Layla." I frown at Tyler.
"Jay," I corrected him. He rolls his eyes.
"Jule, since you're new and no one knows you, I think we should ask some questions." Jesus, is this guy serious? The other conversations stop to look at us, pretty much everyone knows who I am, thanks to my mom, or at least everyone's gossip. I see Charlie roll her eyes next to me.
"If you're interested in her, why don't you ask her personally, Tyler?" Charlie's attitude changed, it seems tense.
"Because you'll bite my head off." Some guys laugh. Charlie rolls her eyes.
"I do have a question." I'm looking at a guy from our team; Clay. "Where did you learn to throw like that?"
I grin. "Especially since my grandfather and my previous team contributed a bit."
"Did you throw your grandfather's balls?" Walker and some guys start laughing at Tyler's joke.
"Jesus, you are like little children." Charlie sighs in frustration.
Walker looks innocently at her. "What is it, Charlie? Can't you stand us teasing your girl?" She shoots up, but is stopped by Andrew, who shakes his head and looks at her.
"Shut your big ugly mouth, Walker, or I'll slam it for you!" Her chest rises and falls. "Do I have to tell everyone what you did on Saturday, buddy?"
Walker's eyes narrow. "Sure, go ahead, I dare you."
She clenches her hands into fists so hard that for a moment I think she's going to break her own hands. "Just wait, you little—"
"Come on boys!" Keith says to calm everyone down. "This should be fun, let's not immediately scare away our new team member."
"Wow, now I do care..." Walker grumbles.
"Logan, did you have anything to add?" Keith looks at Walker, who rolls his eyes and sits down.
"No boss."
"I thought so, next question." Keith snorts.
"Are you a night owl or a morning person?" I shake my head at Jake, who brings his beer to his lips with a chuckle.
"Night owl."
"Mmm, I was expecting a morning person," Gino grins.
I shake my head. "Nah."
"So she's very nice and happy in the morning," grins Charlie, nudging me with her shoulder.
"Yeah totally." I look away and can no longer look at her without blushing.
"What are you most looking forward to in the next 5 years?" Andrew again with his thoughtful question.
"Hopefully I've been scouted for a good baseball team and I'm studying," I answer honestly, seeing no reason to lie.
"Where would you like to study?" Someone suddenly asks.
"Harvard is my dream, but I think I should go to Stanford or New York."
"I enrolled in all schools," Jake replies.
"Yes, but we know that," laughs Nolan, patting his shoulder.
"Why Harvard?" Someone from my team looks at me quizzically.
I bite my lip. "Playing baseball for Harvard, isn't that cool?" Lie. The boys nod and laugh. Only Charlie doesn't nod, she stares at me, almost as if she realizes that's not the truth. I quickly turn my head away.
"I would like that too, Jake Wright, star of Harvard University." Everyone laughs at him squarely.
"In your dreams Wright." Jake is now smiling too.
"Okay, I admit I'm going a little too fast, but you can't deny that that's pretty cool." I shake my head, you idiot.
"Where are you from?" Tyler says out of nowhere, interrupting the boys' laughter and putting down his beer.
I swallow. "Seattle."
"Wait, really?" Keith looks at me in surprise.
I nod. "My m-" I fell silent, shit. "My parents are from there." That's not entirely true, my dad has always lived here in Hillside, it's my mom who lived in Seattle.
"Mmm, then why are you here?" This conversation makes me uncomfortable, I don't like talking about myself.
"I grew up in Seattle," I explained. "We moved for my dad's job when I was 5 and have lived in Manhattan ever since and I've been living here for a few months now." Can this stop?
"And what did your mother think about that?" I peer down, he knows about my mother's situation, everyone knows that.
"Enough, Tyler," says Charlie, the only one who dares to speak.
"But I'd just like to know why she went crazy out of —"
"Tyler, I said enough." Charlie stares at him with a fierce look. "Don't challenge me."
"Oh what then? You hit me a black eye, you and I both know you can't." Charlie rises.
"We'll find out soon enough."
Taylor rises too. "Indeed."
"Guys, guys." Jake jumps in front of them.
"Get out of the way, Jake, I don't want to hurt you," mumbles Charlie, clenching her hands into fists.
"Yes Jake, go away, I really want to hurt you." Charlie grunts at Tyler's words, who has nothing but a smug grin on his face. This is my fault.
"Guys come on, drop it." Keith sighs.
"Don't get involved, this is something between me and Charlie." Tyler looks at me for a moment.
"Don't you dare," hisses Charlie.
"Afraid of losing?" What is happening here? When Tyler approaches, everyone is suddenly standing, including me.
"There was already a fight last week, should it always go like this?" Andrew sighs.
"She's one of us, though I wonder if she's got a dick too," Tyler grins, looking at Charlie.
"I think yours was cut off when you were a baby, which explains that whining." This time it is Tyler growling.
They shouldn't do this, this is all my fault. They don't have to fight for my situation. This is bad.
"Charlie," I mumble, grabbing her arm so she looks at me. "Don't," I say softly. She stares into my eyes, sees the rising tears, her eyes soften and she nods.
"Ahhh, look, Charlie listens when her girl calls." Charlie's look has changed and I know there's nothing more I can do. She attacks Tyler. His back slams against the wall behind him, and Charlie's fist makes contact with his face.
Apparently I'm shaking so much that Andrew notices and he puts his arm around me to keep me upright. Taylor strikes back, I watch Jake and Keith try to intervene, but Charlie and Tyler don't let go. I don't want to see this.
"It's not your fault, Tyler would have found another way to anger Charlie," Andrew whispers to me, as if he could read my mind. "It's just that, and Charlie is kind of a macho with a big mouth." I almost laugh about that.
"I just want them to stop." Andrew nods in understanding.
"Give them a few minutes."
—————
Finally, Jake and Keith can separate the two troublemakers. Keith holds his own sister, keeps her from flying back to Tyler, and Jake and Nolan do the same to Tyler. They are both covered in blood and still insulting each other.
"Let me go." Charlie pushes Keith off her and snorts. She pushes the bottom of her shirt against her ripped lip. "I don't want to hear another word about it."
Before Tyler can snarl back, Nolan and Jake pound him against the wall. "Fine," he grumbles.
Charlie fishes a beer bottle from the table and presses it to her eyebrow.
"Wait a second." Andrew lets me go, the boys get involved in an argument, Charlie rolls her eyes and steps away from them. She looks at me. Her face scares me, but I try to hide it as soon as possible.
"You need to press something cold against your jaw," I mumble.
She waves the beer bottle in front of me. Got it.
"No, something really cold." I take her hand and pull her in the house after me. Without really knowing where I'm going, I look for the kitchen.
"Right here, smartass ." This time Charlie is pulling me behind her and we walk into the kitchen. I let go of her hand to reach for a towel. Charlie opens the refrigerator with a grunt and picks up a bag of ice. Without folding anything around it, she presses the bag against the left side of her face, releasing a pained groan. I take a deep breath before stepping over to her with the wet tea towel.
"You see, now I'm pressing something cold against my face." Charlie grins at me like that was the best comment she could make. I roll my eyes and gently push the cloth against her lip, the grin immediately disappears from her face and she grunts in pain for a moment.
"Sorry," I mumble, gently dabbing away the blood. My eyes slid from her lips to find her eyes. She's been looking at me all the time, knocking the breath out of me. Is she closer? I'm really going crazy.
"You don't have to help me," she grins, her hand falling over mine to take over the cloth, but I shake my head. Try hard to ignore how good it feels to feel my hand in hers.
"It's my fault this happened, you didn't have to do it on your own."
She just looks at me. "Why do you think that?"
"Because you got into a fight because of me." I'm staring down.
"Taylor deserved another broken nose, this doesn't have much to do with you."
"But—"
"No buts, Jayden, he has to learn, like Walker, that he can't say things like that, not about anyone." She curls her mouth in pain for a moment. "You don't treat your teammates like that."
"It wasn't just about teammates."
She chuckles and it sounds wonderful to my ears. "Scolding someone for his or her sexuality is lower than low, everyone knows that." My eyes find hers.
Still, I shake my head. "You didn't have to fight."
"I know." I didn't expect that answer, so I look up again. Her blue eyes find mine and a kind of calmness flows through me. Tell me it's okay when my heart says otherwise. My heart is just barely popping out of my chest.
"Has anyone ever told you, you have beautiful eyes?" Her eyes twinkle for a few seconds. "Because they are." I forget how to speak, I forget all the words, so I gently shake my head. Can only think hers are much nicer than my green one.
"Oh," she just whispers. Her hand reaches for my cheek, my eyes close automatically, I can't help it, just like I can't help the shudder that rolls down my spine when 2 fingers slide down my cheek.
I open my eyes again, feel her fingers stay under my chin. I try to ignore it and dab the cloth against her eyebrow.
"Stop that," she mumbles, why does she have to do this? "Put that cloth away, Jay."
"You're bleeding," I suggest.
"Do I look like I care?" No. I look at her again and lower the cloth, my heart keeps beating faster and faster and the nervous feeling I have becomes ten times bigger.
Her hands find my hips and she pushes me up against the counter, pounding all the air out of me. This is a very bad idea. I keep repeating it in my head as she gets closer, but the closer she gets with her head, the more words I'm forgetting. This is a bad idea, this is a bad idea, this is a, this is, this is... this... this...
"Charlie..." It's a whisper, a really soft whisper, but still she pauses, her lips are inches away from mine. She looks up from my lips, her eyes hold mine. "We... I..." I can't get my words out, I have forgotten all the reasons for not doing this, I put it at the back of my brain.
It is quiet when we look at each other, her hands are still holding me and her eyes keep switching between my lips and my eyes. And then she comes closer again.
"Charlie," I mumble again, our lips are millimeters apart. Her warm breath tickles my lips and I can no longer think straight, let alone talk.
"Charlie! We need one more bag of ice, so you better not take everything for yourself!" Jake calls from the hall. We immediately break apart, I turn to wet the cloth for the second time. I keep wondering what it would have been like to feel her lips. And before I can help it, my fingers are on my lips. What was that? This was a mistake, this shouldn't have happened.
"You look lovely," laughs Jake. "That will be a black eye and a blue lip."
"Oh shut up, Jake, what did you look like last time?" She barks at him.
"Are you okay too?" Jake asks, putting his arm around me and clearly trying to ignore Charlie, just like me.
I try to grin. "Yes of course." I have to look at Charlie when Jake turns us around. Charlie, without saying anything else, takes the cloth and presses it against her lip.
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I could use some alcohol," Jake sighs.
"What about Tyler?" Charlie tries to control her anger.
"He's going home, Rambo," Jake grins.
Charlie rolls her eyes. "Great." She walks away from us. I look at Jake, who shrugs.
"She's just a bit of a weirdo."
"Jake, I heard that." I laugh when Jake looks at me scared.
"Come on." I push him ahead of me.