A hundred times more nervous than I would have been if I didn't know Charlie plays baseball for Hillside, I walk with Shelby to the field. She suggested bringing me because otherwise I wouldn't find it. That's a little bit of bullshit as the baseball field is literally behind the school. The Hillside Hornet baseball field is nice from where I'm standing, but I get more oppressive with every step. From here I can see guys practicing, hitting the ball or missing completely.
"Are you sure you don't want to play softball?" Shelby looks at me. I am glad that she is coming along, we have 3 classes together and she suggested that I could sit with her group for lunch. It is the first time anyone has done that in ages. She doesn't seem to care much about the gossip about my mother.
When she nudges me I open my mouth. "Uhm yes, the level is too low to give me a scholarship and I have always played with boys."
"Okay then," she nods. "I can't stay, I have to take my little brother to soccer practice."
I try not to show that I'm disappointed when I talk to her. "Then I'll see you tomorrow." I had hoped she would stay for when something bad happens.
"Sure, I'll wait for you at the entrance tomorrow." She winks and turns around. "Good luck." I smile faintly and keep walking. Come on, you can do this! Some guys are already looking at me, I'm almost there.
And then I see her. Charlie, she's wearing a cap with her brown tail sticking out of the back, her white pants already have some brown smudges and there's a smile on her face. And then I see how she hits, hard, a perfect home run, unfortunately this is not a game. My eyes slide to the guys she's talking to now. They are having fun with each other.
My foot keeps gets stuck behind a tile and I can just jump to avoid falling. With rosy cheeks, I walk to the dugout to put my things in and ignore a few laughing boys.
I have to talk to the coach first. Coach Lewis, coach of the Hillside Hornets. When he sees me he snorts. I already know what he thinks. He doesn't think I'm good enough, I'm not very tall, don't look that strong and seem shy. I don't like that either, but I always know how to hit a button when I play baseball. But he is wrong about me for not being strong, I already know that I hit 3 times harder than most guys here and I am fast, very fast.
In addition, I am a pitcher, I throw with both hands, which is special and I have 4 throws. A fastball, a curveball, a screwball and a knuckleball. But for the knuckleball I have to put in some more effort. It is not for nothing that it is the most difficult throw. I threw one perfect knuckleball, nine times out of ten it's out of reach.
All my life I have practiced with pitches. Not surprising that I can throw 3 difficult balls now at 16 years old. A fastball can throw almost any rookie.
Someone clears his throat behind me, I stop putting on my things and turn around. "What's the meaning of this?" Coach Lewis looks at me, arms crossed.
"I'm here for the tryouts, sir." I look at him seriously.
"Mmm, is that so?" I have a feeling that he won't even let me try. "Actually, the try-outs are already over." None, he means.
I nod, just keep going. "I'm a pitcher and a good hitter sir." He laughs at this. "I'm serious."
He stops laughing and looks at me. "Well, I suggest I let you try, can you say with 100 percent certainty that one of my boys cannot hit 3 of your throws and that you hit once in 3 tries?" Who does he think I am? A baby?
"200 percent sir."
He chuckles. "Okay, gear up." He walks back to the second trainer, who is looking at me. He frowns. Just wait.
I sit down to put on my shoes and come to myself for a moment. I am in my head, I always do that before a match starts. Most of the time I still have my music on, but I don't think that's a very great idea now.
"Ready, rookie?" My eyes open and I look up. Charlie is leaning on her baseball bat and has a crooked grin on her face. I stare at her for a moment, until she raises an eyebrow. Shit.
"I-I think so," I stammer. She nods.
"Pitcher?" She has a good eye for detail.
"Yup." I stand up and straighten my shirt. I can't think when she's so close.
I nod to coach Lewis who is signaling to me. "I have to..." I step past her, but before I can walk away she takes my arm. I shiver, did she feel that shock too?
"Watch out for Walker." She looks at me, I swallow with difficulty. "He's playing mean." I nod. Charlie looks at me for a moment, she seems to be saying something, but then closes her mouth again. She shakes her head and looks away. "Good luck."
I try to smile, but I know I fail terribly. I quickly walk onto the field, shaking Charlie off. At least that's what I try, she just keeps haunting my mind, she's been doing that all day.
I put on a glove and catch a ball with my free hand to show that I'm serious. I can already see from the coach's face that he did not see that coming.
As I try to ignore all the looks I get into position and let the ball rotate in my hand.
"Walker," Coach shouts. My gaze jumps. Walker walks to the home base with a smug smile and stands.
"Is this a joke, are you losing your mind again?" He gestures. Despite wanting to be confident, I do get a little nervous, why does he have to remind me of my mom again?
"Charlie Davis, what the hell are you doing?" Coach shouts. I look up again. Charlie walks up to me. Walker lowers his bat with a roll of his eyes.
"You can't throw when your wrists aren't warm," she calls back to the coach. She grabs my wrist and kneads it for a moment. "Don't look at Walker," she mutters to me. "He hits with his bat on his right side, so a slider doesn't work, he also tries to distract you with his eyes, look at the base. Walker is good at hitting fast balls, don't try it."
"Why are you helping me?" I look at her.
Charlie lets go of my wrist and smashes the ball in my hand. "Because that piss butterfly will shut his mouth for christ sake." She looks into my eyes again. "No slider."
"I'm throwing with both hands." She raises her eyebrows at me for a moment. "And I'm more into screwballs." Her eyebrows go even higher.
"Okay, then I haven't said anything, you can do this." She winks and walks away from me to give me space. "She's ready, Coach."
"At your mark..."
"Jay Miller," Charlie answered for me. A light blush spread across my cheeks. Act normal! I shake my head slightly.
The coach sighs. "At your mark Miller."
I take a deep breath in and out. You are better, stronger, you throw powerful balls. When I open my eyes I am sure. I feel the same piece of confidence pounding through my body as I would feel at any other match. Determination in my eyes and the adrenaline pumping through my veins make me even more confident. There's nothing Walker can do to distract me anymore.
I pull my arm back and I throw the ball at Walker. Who looks surprised at the ball when it rushes towards him. He misses my curveball.
"Holy shit." I hear a boy say.
"She threw perfectly." I try not to be distracted and have to suppress a grin when I see Walker's surprised head. Just like the coach and the rest of the team, he didn't expect me to throw with so much force.
"Next," Walker grumbles. He gets ready again.
I switch hands, some "Ohhh's" are heard. Walker apparently already thinks he has this in his pocket, but what he doesn't know is that I might throw better with my left than with my right.
Breathe in, breathe out. Arm back, leg up... I'm throwing a perfect hard screwball. He flies off the base and the moment Walker strikes, the ball deviates out of the way, away from the base. Walker misses. The coach laughs in surprise. And I hear some teammates say that I'm good.
"Again!" Walker shouts. I catch the ball again and get back into position. Fastball it is. I pull my arm back, leg up and throw as hard as I can. The ball goes 3 times as fast as the previous two times. Walker's eyes widen and he strikes, too late. He strikes under the ball, which is caught by the catcher. In the corner of my eye I see how Charlie smiles.
The coach grins. "Your turn to strike Miller, Jake throw your best balls." Ergh. Walker shoves my shoulder as I pass him, I don't care this time. He looks back in surprise when I hardly move. That's what baseball does to me.
I put on my gloves and take a baseball bat from a boy who is grinning at me. "You're good, knock Jake out." I nod.
"3 chances to hit once," exclaimed coach Lewis. I wave a few times to get in and crack my neck. I nod to Jake. He grins briefly before lifting his arm and leg to throw. The ball comes towards me, I notice from its throw that it is a curveball, not a good one. I miss.... I get off the base and hit a few times, trying to ignore Walker, who is now laughing at me.
"Walker shut up, if anyone can't laugh it's you, you've just got out played by a girl." I have to suppress a grin when Charlie slaps him in the back of the head and he growls in pain.
"Ready?" Jake looks at me quizzically, I see a trace of guilt in his eyes, it was not the intention to throw such a nasty ball.
"Bring it on." He smiles and turns the ball several times in his hands. I can already see that he is going to throw a fastball, he probably won't have many more throws. I focus, only see the ball, all the sound around me gets softer.
Jake lets go of the ball, a perfect fastball comes to me and I hit as hard as I can. Thonk. And I run, see the ball fly into the corner of my eye. I accelerate, run over the 2nd base, 1 more base before the home base.
"Watch her go." I hear someone say when I sprint past them. It's going to be neck to neck, I just didn't strike well enough to put the boys out of play.
3rd base. The ball only has to go to the catcher. It's now or never, I accelerate one last time, another 2 meters.
"Throw!" There is shouting. Everyone almost seems to be in a panic. The ball is thrown. I know I'm not going to make it if I run it off, so I'll do the first thing that comes to my mind. I slide towards the home base. Don't worry about my pants which now seem to rip and get dirty. This could get me a place on the team.
And then it is quiet, I lie with my foot on the home base and I stare at the catcher who is holding the ball. It feels like I just hit the most important home run in my life, but I don't know if it counts yet, it's still quiet. The cloud of sand is slowly fading and some grains are stinging my eyes. This is it…
I look at the coach, the same goes for the catcher. 'In.' A smile breaks over my face. Except for a growl from Walker, the whole team cheers. Jake and the catcher; Keith takes my hands and pulls me up.
"That was sick," laughs Jake, hugging me. I laugh too.
Keith holds his fist up to me. "I've never seen anyone run that fast and those throws were perfect." I bump my fist against his and can't stop my grin that's spreading over my face.
"Don't say anything to the coach, but I'm actually glad there is someone who pitches better than me." I chuckle, which explains why he only has two throws.
"I told you she was good." I look past Jake. Charlie has put her arm on Keith's shoulder and is grinning. When our eyes meet I forget how to breathe again, her eyes seem to get bluer the longer I look at them.
"Oh shut up." Keith pushes her away.
She looks at him insulted. "Excuse me." Keith smiles and puts his arm around her neck.
"Yes, be like that again."
"What sister? I'm not doing anything." I look from Keith to Charlie and back to Keith again.
Jake nudges me with his elbow. "Those two can argue, that's not normal."
"It's fair when you are related," I hear a boy's voice say behind me. I turn my head, a tall boy, with black hair, light stubble beard and brown eyes, smiles at me. "Good strike."
"Thank you."
"How many minutes are they born after each other, An?" Jake nudges the boy after me. I look at Keith and Charlie, they poke each other's bellies, alternating with some punches. I now see the similarities. The dark brown hair, even Keith's wavy, only his jawline is a bit wider than Charlie's, but their eyes are equally blue, even their smile is the same, a dimple in their left cheek.
"Two minutes, Charlie's older, do you ever pay attention?"
"Nolan does that for me."
"I'm not doing anything for you." A boy with blond hair, a little darker than Jake's, grabs Jake by the collar. They laugh.
"I'm Andrew, by the way." The boy with the black hair looks at me again.
"Jay." I take his hand.
"That dork over there is Nolan." He points to the young one with the darker blond hair. "Our best hitter." Nolan winks at me. "A moron."
"Hey! Can I have the attention?" Only now can I hear the coach, who has apparently been shouting for a while.
Jake kicks Charlie, who lets go of her brother and angrily turns to Jake to punch him. "You little dip shit, I will—"
"The coach," Andrew interrupts. She snorts and turns to look at the coach. I can't help but look at her. There is something that attracts me. I get nervous, get clammy hands, it feels a bit like performing in front of a large audience, the term stage fright seems familiar to me, I'm not doing well in the spotlight.
"I think it is clear." Was Coach Lewis talking all along? I dreamed away again. "Jay Miller, welcome to the team." It only dawns on me when Jake slaps me on the shoulder. Wait what? I'm on it?
Charlie smiles at me. "Welcome to the team, rookie." Maybe this was a mistake.