On his first day of high school, Nii-san* was kidnapped. I was worried for him, but my parents weren't that worried. To them, Nii-san was just a disposable. Unlike me, who is heralded as a genius, Nii-san was never very good at studies. He liked to have fun and enjoy his life. I never faulted him for that, I loved him just the way he was. His cheerful demeanour always cheered me up when I was down.
He was the perfect brother. I loved him so much. But when the kidnapper was caught and he was released, he completely changed. From what I heard he was tortured by the kidnapper.
'Nii-san! I was so worried! Thank goodness you're back!' I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. But instead of the tight hug I usually got back, he just stood there. 'Nii-san?' I looked up at him and he just stared at me with empty eyes.
He changed, he wasn't the usual bright and loveable big brother that he used to be. Now he was just an empty husk. I hated him for it. I despised him. Give my brother back! Give him back! To cope with the trauma, he played video games all day. But while he was playing games, I could see a glimpse of the old Takeuchi come back, his signature obnoxious smile showed whenever he would win a match or defeat a tough boss. Why aren't you like that with me?
We didn't celebrate Takeuchi's 17th birthday. It just passed as if nothing happened. After all, to me, it wasn't my brother's 17th birthday, it was a complete stranger. I understood that the trauma of the torture changed him completely. But my irrationality and foolishness didn't allow me to accept it.
But even so, even so. He still treated me like his little sister. Even though he faced bad bullying at school, which I didn't even think of stopping, even though Arisa grew cold and distant from him. Even though I openly spited him and hated him. He would still ask me to eat lunch with him once in a while.
I never accepted his invitation, instead, I made fun of him and laughed at him. It must've taken a lot of courage to ask me out to the cafeteria, even knowing that I would decline him every time. Yet all I did was push him lower even though I should've brought him higher. Maybe if I supported him and loved him like before he would become the old cheerful brother that I knew and loved.
But I didn't, he would become bullied even more and hated even more. I hated him too, everyone hated him. After all, to me, he wasn't my big brother Takeuchi Kisaragi, no he was just some guy that lived in the same house as I did, with the same name as my big brother.
There was a day that he didn't come home again. I was terrified, after the incident, he would always get home as early as he could. Sometimes he would even skip last period to go home early. He didn't come home. I was terrified that the same thing happened to him again, what if he got kidnapped and tortured again?
It was irrational, to me that person wasn't my brother, but at the same time, he was my brother. I hated him and loved him at the same time, so when he didn't come home I was worried. I even threw up that day.
The next day it turned out that he was just taken somewhere by Hamachi and was beaten up badly and couldn't even walk home. He still showed up at school that day. His face wasn't bruised but I saw an extremely small part of his arm that showed when his long-sleeved shirt was pulled back a little. It was red and black, and his wrist looked like it was completely smashed but he was walking as if nothing even happened. He didn't want to cause trouble for anyone so he just dealt with the pain silently.
He acted normal, but he wasn't my big brother.
But that one day, when he came to pick me up from karaoke. He smiled at me, it was his old obnoxious smile. I stared at him coldly. I stared at him in the middle of the road, such a foolish decision. He walked towards me. His face turned from neutral to immediate worry, he ran towards me and I was taken aback by it. What is this guy doing? Then I felt a blinding light come from my right side. It was a car and I knew it. But he pushed me, I was disgusted that he pushed me for a second. But in that split second between him pushing me away and him being ran over by the car, I saw my brother again. My big brother came back, he came back to me.
He lay there on the ground, dying. My big brother had just come back but he was about to go away again. He said 'I love you Akari, stay strong and live. Nii-san's heading out early okay?' I sobbed and said to him.
'I love you too Nii-san.' And he was gone. If I loved him more, if I cared for him more he may not have been gone. I hate myself I really do. Why didn't I support him and love him when he was still here?! I'm such a fool.
My parents were actually sad because of his death. Only in his death did they finally realise their love for him. They were horrible parents, I already knew that.
That very next day Arisa made Renji her boyfriend. Takeuchi's death was the only thing on the news this morning, did she not care?
A month later on a normal day I was chatting with my friends. Still not over the death of my big brother but I needed to move on, it was what he told me to do. I visited Arisa's classroom because I needed to put some papers on the teacher's desk. But when I tried to leave I couldn't unlock the door.
That's strange. Why can't I unlock the door? But suddenly. The entire room started glowing blue.
'What's happening?!'
'Why is the floor glowing blue?!' Everyone was panicking. I was surprised too but honestly, I didn't care much. I guess this is where I die. Well, at least I'll see you again soon Takeuchi. Your little sister's also going out early.
It felt like my whole body was being turned inside out. My mind blacked out, but at the same time I was wide awake, I was bewildered by the feeling. Then without any warning, everything became as clear as glass. Then I saw someone in the crowd staring at me, he seemed familiar, very familiar.
When we sat down after the test that guy came up to me himself. He talked to me, he comforted me, even slightly. It felt like I was talking to my brother again, it made me happy. He had a strong air of familiarity. I miss you, Takeuchi, I wish you were here with me.
But then. When he said those words to me, I knew that I was finally reunited with my big brother. That he was the big brother I loved, the big brother I could trust. I was crying tears of joy.
'Nii-san! I missed you!' I jumped into his chest and started crying like a little baby. He embraced me and said.
'There, there. I know it must've been tough. But I'm here for you now. So don't worry.' His warm voice soothed me. He was put his hand on my head, it was calming.
'Please don't ever leave me again!'
'I won't Akari, I won't.' I looked up at him, he looked different from my brother. But when he gave me his signature obnoxious smile I couldn't help but smile back.