Fairness doesn't always come to all people. I learned that when my maid worked day and night trying to earn a fraction of something that is inherently mine. I learned that when my birthday got pulled back several days of celebration for the sake of lightening the financial burden on the kingdom's treasury to subsidize people's lives as the 8th princess's birthday is merely a week apart. We all have rights and responsibilities we must fit into by the rule of society.
As a good servant, we are servile and obedient. As a good princess, we are sold for peace and prosperity.
I fell into deep thought in front of a pond. About the flow of a human life and a person's power to change it. About when we should live for ourselves and others. Only to find I do not understand it at all. A leaf falls into the waters and I mused if my resistance would be drowned out as such.
"Your Highness, my goodness, what are you doing out here at this hour?"
Baroness Bernice- my lady in waiting- gasps out of shock, both hands in front of her lips, emphasizing her deceitful innocence as a whole. I come to feel partially guilty for sneaking out to such a remote corner before it reaches seven o'clock. But having a soothing place to hide in, especially such a therapeutic scenery calms down my fluctuating nerves.
Now that my youngest sister has reached officially reached 16, the birthday banquet that I have been withholding will be commenced. And there is this dread in me, knowing I have reached the age where all my unfortunate sisters were sold away. All simply because we were females of the royal family. 'At least I lived 16 years in happiness.' Rights come with a responsibility. When they break their bones paying taxes, how can I deny sacrifice for the betterhood of the kingdom?
"Forgive me, Lady Bernice. This place is simply too beautiful to not visit." I remorsefully utter, standing up from my crouch near the edge of the lake in slow motion to ensure I do not trip on the grass and rocks. This place is after all not very friendly to high heels and I am stuck to a lifetime of wearing one. "Have mercy on my poor heart and spare me not the power of your hands."
In response to my jest, Baroness Bernice merely laughed. Her gentle blue eyes crinkling in joy. Despite coming from humble origins, she is known to be a fashionista. And it is a miracle that she agreed to serve me out of all my other seven siblings which unfortunately are all girls, well, seven not including the one currently in the womb.
On the path to the room, we talked about this year's theme which seemed to focus on floral sentiments and spring. A euphemism for what the king considers us as. Flowers to be plucked. Something I cannot forget, remembering I'm born in autumn. Sometimes, I wonder if I am taken away the moment I exist.
"Nonsense," I heard a loud voice argue deep within the room, the other two ladies in waiting I have, Monica Harington in charge of teaching me languages and reading correspondences, and Lydia Wiscar who is incredibly talented in all forms of art. "Princess Julia has been rejected by the man pursuing our highness again? How many times has this been, the fourth??"
I cough announcing my presence in the room as if the opening of the heavy doors were not a clear enough announcement. Perhaps I have been too lenient on them as of late. Although information is highly crucial, there is no need to make a joke of someone, especially not my sister.
It is rather unfortunate. However, we have had some clash when it comes to men. As my sister only comes into contact with those who I or my elder sixth sister interact with, she had numerous crushes on those around us. And as those around us are those with the intention to court us, the ending could be foreseen.
The two jolted out of their seats and in the swallow of juicy stories stood up to curtsy at the sight of me. A proper solemn look on their faces. One that reflects the same reality in my smiling one. An observation of roles.
"Is the outfit ready?" Knowing my mother, I do not doubt the aesthetic quality of the dress. Bewitching is conquering hearts and when you have their hearts, there is power. That is the lesson she has been trying to ingrain into my heart over the years. And though I do not agree with her stances, sometimes I wonder in the depths of the night, is accumulating power for a good purpose wrong?
An answer I do not know.
"Yes, Your Highness."
There it is again. The practiced way these people say it like a reverberation of my education. Sometimes I hate how bound we are by these rules and standings. Sometimes I admire how we chose to walk this path despite the dark. Because surely, in this clock of sacrifice, through selflessness, we are moving closer to a golden era.
It might be foolish of me, but I believe selfishness to be the root of all evil. Had everyone been loveless and without sacrifice, the world would be in collapse. Sometimes I wonder if the fulfillment of a life is the murder of another. But, at least there is a concept of love greater than simply us loving ourselves when both are alive right?' I remember the life of Monica's grandmother that's prolonged by the imperial doctor and wonder if this kingdom is mine.
If I broke away and forsake the marriage alliance, would it be akin to forsaking my grandmother?
What a cruel child I would be.
The ladies in front of me opened the closet and showed it to me. That deafening sense of routine in their movements. The dress is beautiful, like a landscape of snow and red leaves intermingling, like the smokebush tree that was imported from the Creon empire which I simply come to adore. Just by watching the season change, I could tell the fabric that resembled pinkish smoke on top is the flowers and the cluster of red on the bottom- the fallen leaves.
"Such a lavish outfit for a mere birthday party, are you sure you didn't mistake it for the one planned for Vranid's empire banquet?" I inquired, slightly tilting my head in confusion. My mother is not the type of person who kills a golden goose in vain hope. No, she would've extorted them all.
The maids nodded in affirmation, taking me away to the bathing chambers where I am soaked in flower petals as the situation is recounted to me. As it turns out, the second prince of the Creon empire, who is coincidentally the fifth princess's fiance is attending. Out of pique, I had them retell the story. He has always made me curious- the man that took responsibility for accidentally tripping on top of Princess Ingrid and kissing her as a seven-year-old kid.
"That's sweet," I commented laughing at the backstory before the awkward expression of my ladies-in-waiting seeped into my mind and caused it to think. Beautiful dress. Powerful man. "Mother wants me to seduce that one devoted lover, we call prince Blaise behind my sister's back?"