Edward
There is something weird thinking that I am finally getting married, I'll be her husband in the next two hours. Married. Husband. Weird words, but they meant more for me now that I have her in my life. I mean, marriage wasn't something far out in my head for my future plans, but finding and marrying the love of my life at twenty-nine was. It was all a coincidence meeting her, falling in love, the proposal, getting married. It all happened too fast, but none of it feel hurried. We took all our time. It's hard to wait for years to marry the person who is already everywhere and anywhere I am. Home, work, heart, head. We can't get enough of each other, it's like we are no longer two people. We are one, the two nights I had to live without her when she was away on tour was nothing but hell. I knew then I will marry only her, be with only her. Everything just fell into place after I accepted those feelings and let go of my insecurities. Now we're even getting married. Dating for two months and getting married, people will frown at us, but I've never been surer about my feelings for anyone. Never been happier. Even though I only have my brothers to be on my side, they are just what I need. I had an almost non-existent family, but I will make a huge for us.
'When you smile, I smile. I laugh when you do. I want to cry along your tears, but there will bever be a reason to.' I instantly jot it down on the paper.
If magic was a word, it would be my life. Magically out of this world. Few years ago, I was a nobody, alone, miserable, betrayed. Now I'm all I ever wanted to be, but my favorite, I think, is being a husband. Why would it not be more special? I went through my part of hardships and pain of a lifetime. It's finally the happy ever after we deserve. Wow! How cheesy was that. Alex will say it's romantic, but I know better, I would just cringe when someone else says things like this, now I'm doing it. Smiling at even the slightest things, dreaming, learning to cook, reading books to become even more romantic, planning holidays, designing our dream house. This is what they called being the person in love, love blinds me to a point that it's Camille I see everywhere. I can't work, I can't drive, I can't eat, I can't do anything if it's not with her. It all sounds cheesy and straight from some ridiculous romantic cliché. I expect it to be cheesy, it's the same romance I've seen on TV, the sweet love, the hot love, the dirty love all knotted together into one love that will meet its happy ending tonight. Ed and Camille, forever.
'There are limits to the sky, but my love will be deeper. My love so much now, but when I'm reading my vows, it will be so much more.'
I've written in my vow. Well, I'm not that great of a writer. I just make videogames and manage companies. I've never been any good at literature either. But I did my best at it. There is everything in it that I will never be brave enough to tell her in front of everyone we ever knew. My love letters to her are a whole different thing. They are personal. She won't read it to the world. I want to tell her in front of everyone, so they can be witness to the special love we have. They will know I deserve you, as much as I want to tell myself.
"I loved you when I was your boyfriend, I loved you when I was your fiancé. But when I'm your husband, I will love you so much more."
I think I need a drink. Lucky enough, there is always some vodka I keep for these occasions in my stash. Just a shot should be enough. I chugged the shot glass empty and put it back for future needs. Marriage is stressful, and when it's this grandeur, almost the fairy tale thing, there ain't no word in the world to describe what I feel. Of course, there is happiness, and delight and excitement but they also come with a shit tone of anxiety. Not because something could go wrong with our marriage ceremony, I'm sure she wants to marry me just as much I want to. there is a reason she wanted to marry me in a month after I proposed to her and not wait for at least six months to be sure of her decision. I'm not worried about that, I'm just worried that too many people can distract me from the one thing that should matter the most, our union. Too many people, and they will see right through me, how much I lack love, how much I crave it. I don't like to feel judged.
I should just call her. Her voice is the best thing that can happen to me now, better than this vodka. That has done nothing at all to ease my unsteady breaths.
I tried calling her, twice. But her phone is engaged for last half hour. I'm done getting ready in that time. everything that I will wear, is perfectly color-coordinated with her outfits. The black beads on my suit jacket matches the white ones in her wedding gown. The brooch and the cufflinks are custom made with petals of the roses I gifted her along the wedding proposal, conserved inside a gem giving a lush red vibe, coupling with her jewelry. It was one thing Alex suggested and I don't hate it at all. This is the best way I could've preserved this day.
I try calling her again, and yet, it's engaged.
I look at the time and it's five already. The day went by too fast. I'll be with her in an hour. I'm counting down to every second until I am sweeping her off the floor and ripping our clothes. Until I'm making love to her as her husband.
'I love you when we are the happiest two people on earth, but I will love you more with all the hardships we will live through.'
"Dude!" and I was wondering what was missing? Why I can feel peace?
"Yes Alex, what happened now?" I look through the mirror to him hurdling inside in panic. "Why do you look like that?" his dishevelled hair, skewed tie, massing best-man's jacket… I think I should be the one to panic.
He walked pulling his tie away from his throat like it's a noose. "Help me with this bow man. I can't find anyone." I laugh at his childishness. There is an entire population of a small village outside and he can't find anyone? A little hard to believe. "Help me man." He looks worse than me, he is not even getting married. The guy who manages my company can't manage a bow tie. How is that now funny? I oddly feel good to even help him put on a tie, nothing can happen anymore that will make me feel anything but happy.
"Camille is ready?" I asked tying his noose. "I can't get her one the phone. I'm worried she's nervous. I just want to make sure she's fine." He sighed, heavily.
"I don't know why girls like this kind of shit." He said combing away his hair in the mirror, completely pushing me away. Such a jerk. "It's such a waste of time." I didn't think a die-hard romantic hero could be so opposed to fairly-tale wedding. But he keeps showing how uninterested he is in any of the responsibilities that came along being the best man.
"What's wrong with it?"
"Everything! Fucking everything." I laugh the way he rolled his eyes. I know he don't hate it when he goes out to openly flirt with those bridesmaids. Instead, he laughed harder, "I don't know how you agreed to all this." He said waving a hand to my suit. "You look like a… fucking prince."
I bought my palms on my face, "I am the prince, prince charming."
He winced in awful pain and I laugh, now harder than him. god, I love that he's around. it eases my mind. "I'm losing my mind." He put on his jacket which laid on the hanger unnoticed. "There are at least five hundred people here and we barely know a hundred of them. and I'm going to have to pretend how much it meant for us that they came. Come on man, this is not you. you hate showing off, I know if it was up to you, you would've just got the marriage license."
"She has a social life, unlike us Alex. Marriage means compromise. It's not that big of a deal as you make it." I help her fix his outfit. It brings him handsomely features more than before.
"Well, you better wish then she gives you time in her social life."
"She is all mine now, Alex." He smiled in amusement. I know, I'm amused too knowing that I'm capable of this kind of open love. I am a self-proclaimed introvert who likes computer and games more than parties and booze and one-night stands.
"Oh, I forget to tell you, Camille wanted to see you." I almost cringed. He always does this. The most important things for that last.
"That's something you tell me before you make me help with your bow."
"I knew you wouldn't help me if I did, and I'm too anxious to go out there and request any of those strangers. And this fucking castle is too big." he stomped his feet in pride, satisfied with his final look.
"I'll see you on the other side." I said leaving him to curb his vanity.
"If I'm brave enough to stay standing." He looks plenty brave to me.
"You worry too much. There's vodka in the cupboard, take a shot." And I left the room.
"Or like five. Thanks."
'I loved you when I left you asleep in the bed this morning, I loved you when you hugged me goodbye, but when I'm home and I'm tired and you're there cheering for me, I will love you so much more.'
I went to her room. I know she has an entire army of people that are always around her to make sure she is always at her prime, makeup artists, costume designer and stylists. To be honest, I don't think they work that much, she is already so pretty, but I also can understand her work needs her to be at her best at all times. I'm not the type to care how much time they take hers usually but today, just today, I want her all for me. Today and every day after tonight. Maybe it's too much to ask, but when she looks so mesmerizing, in the white beaded gown and the earrings I fell in love with, it's kind of hard for me to hold back. My wish was granted. Everyone left at the swipe of her finger. I would've kissed her if her half-done make up wasn't in the way, I will ruin it because I know if I start, I will never be able to stop before she is naked. So I push all my desired in the back of my head and hug her gently. It's the happiest day of our lives, but why do I feel that she isn't as happy as I'm on the eighth cloud.
"What's wrong?" I ask her and she suddenly flinches surprised that I can read her so easily.
"Nothing." She forces a smile. that is the thing, she forces a smile, I'm smiling even without knowing like a lunatic. It makes me think is she feels unsure. She hesitates as my eyes beg her to tell. "Mom!" she said those words as a tear made way out of her eyes. "She doesn't want us to get married."
I hug her from behind, my head on the nape of her shoulder, a perfect fit. I'm not too good with parents. I get awkward. Side effect of growing up like an orphan. But I've done enough to try to impress her mom. She's just too hard to please and even harder to make smile. "I don't really get it, why don't she like me. I love her only daughter, I am capable to give her the best life she deserves, and I am fairly good looking. So why not?"
"She thinks you don't love me enough. That this is just a spur of the moment kind of thing, not a strong love. She doesn't understand our love. She thinks you will leave me when you're bored and I will be left with nothing after that happens." I'm marrying the girl of my dreams, the one who is too good for me and she still thinks I don't love her enough.
I still try to smile the reassuring smile that I have. "Why?" I said. "How can she think that?" my body began to shake, I know Camille love me, but what will happen if Layla is able to convince her what she thinks of me? what if she says no to me when I'm standing in the alter vowing to love her for the rest of my life?
"I don't know. But she said she won't be in the wedding if I insist of doing what I want." my knees began to feel week. I know who much Camille respect her mother, how much she cares for her.
"What can I do to make her believe?" I know she is a materialistic woman. I know she loves money and fame more than she loves Camille. Maybe that is one language she understands that most.
Camille sighed. I think she knows what to do in this situation. "Let it go Ed, I can't do that to you. I respect her, but it doesn't mean I don't respect you. She wants too much than I'm willing to give."
She knows the solution to the problem. I'm surer by her hesitation. "Tell me, what does she want, I'll give her anything."
She looked down to her phone then up to me with a disheartened expression. "She wants you to sign me as your equal partner in everything before we get married."
"That's it." I smile, in relief. Luckily, it's not out of my reach.
"No, no, don't do that." she pushed two hands on my chest. I smiled kissing them.
"Since the day I met you, I've believed you to be my equal partner. Whether it's my life or my business. Everything I am, it's you too. She just wants what's already yours." I tell her holding the urge to kiss her so much. In the same time, I want to see the priceless smile I've rarely seen on her lips before. "I'll call my lawyer. Tell Layla to be ready."
"You really don't have to."
"I want to."
I'm already to the door, in a hurry to have it all done before the wedding. "Ed, she wants to see it before the wedding." I paused. Why would she say that?
I left before thinking too much of it.