It was just one piece of a quite ugly paper… But it was more than enough for completely spoiling their so far great mood and also turning their plans upside down.
While going up the stairs to the top floor of the building, Kame was gloomily wondering if it was some kind of punishment for what they did, or just a bad coincidence. After all those difficult days and emotional ups and downs, they managed to rest for just one day before another problem to deal with came up.
The door of the last room in the corridor, the same one to which Kame led the young stranger just three months ago, was half-open. He pushed them with his leg, as his hands were busy with the mugs of hot tea and went inside.
The belongings of the handsome gunslinger were scattered all around the room, while Jin himself was standing at the window with a cigarette in his hand, staring out into the cold darkness.
Kame put both mugs down at the small night stand and approached the older one. He noticed that at least half of the cigarette was still unused and almost burnt out to the ashes; Jin obviously didn´t pay much attention to smoking. Kame pulled that smelly thing off the slack fingers and doused it over the parapet, before he closed the window to prevent any more cold air from going inside.
Only then, he repaid Jin´s look, which revealed that the older one was probably in a much worse mood than he was. Without saying a word, Jin turned and collapsed onto the bed, where he leant over the wall.
Kame closed the door first, before he took his mug and sat down on the edge of the bed slowly. He wanted to talk, but somehow he didn´t find the courage to break the silence, which was trying to suffocate them. Only Jin did find it.
"It´s my brother, Kame…" the older one said a little hoarsely. "I haven´t seen him for two years, but he´s still my family. With that high reward, there will be the bounty hunters coming after him all the time. But I don´t believe he did it… I just can´t believe he´d become a murderer. He´s not that kind of person," Jin took a deep breath. "I need to know the truth. I cannot let this go…"
Kazuya raised his look slowly, to meet with the dark eyes: "I understand, Jin. You don´t have to explain," he assured the older one.
It took a while, before Jin spoke again with a serious expression.
"I will not ask you to leave everything you know," the words came out from his full lips quietly. "I will not. Even though I want you to come with me."
It felt so nice to hear it. Nice, but painful at the same moment... Kazuya had to take some time to put the words in the right order to explain what was on his mind.
"And I would go, Jin," he reacted softly. "There´s nothing to hold me back in this city anymore. I don´t think I would ever leave on my own, without a reason, but with you… With you I would."
Kame let his heart say those words; he would not hesitate even for a minute to leave Bozeman and go with Jin to search after his brother. Only if… Only if...
"But…" he continued heavily. "That I could do only if not being for…"
"For Liwan and the others," Jin finished the sentence instead of the younger one knowingly.
Kame nodded, suddenly not being able to repay the look of those eyes and focused on his tea.
"I understand that too, Kazuya," Jin´s voice sounded sorrowful, but determined at the same moment.
"So… That means…" Kame couldn´t force himself to say it aloud.
"I´m going to leave with Walker in the morning," Jin made himself spill the information out fast, hoping that not prolonging it would hurt less. Well, he was wrong – seeing the expression on Kazuya´s face hurt anyway.
"I thought so," the younger one sighed.
Captain Walker was ordered by his superiors to leave to Colorado, to help the local Marshals to deal with the Black Riders. He told them about it down in the taproom, asking Jin for any information that might have helped him with the new task, which the older one naturally didn´t give away...
"I hope it will be easier to find Leo if I cooperate with them for now," Jin stated, reaching for his tea and gulping it down hastily, as if he wanted to keep the words down in his throat.
"Yeah, I think so too…" Kame agreed with a heavy heart. "I will leave tomorrow as well then. I bet Liwan is already expecting me."
Deep silence followed.
"I hate this," Jin snorted suddenly, really upset, and hit over the night stand with the empty mug.
Kame knew so well what the other one meant. He was not the type to complain about the whims of fate, but this… This was really unfair to them. Why they had to separate from each other right now? So soon after… After they finally let go of all prejudices and doubts?
"Me too…" the younger one almost whispered and put the rest of the tea aside on the floor. Suddenly, he had no taste for anything…
Just the idea of being separated from the younger one made Jin mad. After everything they went through, after they finally crossed all the borders, they have to go different ways?
But there was no escape from it. Jin just couldn´t stay still knowing his brother was in that dangerous position. He was his only family left, his younger brother, and he still felt guilty for not caring more before, for letting him run off and join the Riders. He had to go after him, find him and finally beat some senses into that boy.
But that meant leaving Kame behind… Because the younger one was the same in this. He wouldn´t have ever left his only family like that, not after those horrible happenings. Kame was determined to help the survivors of the Blackfeet Tribe, as well as Jin was eager to find Leo. And they had to deal with it somehow.
Jin raised his eyes in the same moment as Kazuya. They were numb for a while, just looking at each other knowing, that the other was equally desperate about the turn of events.
As Jin sunk into those so sad and again so incredibly yellow eyes, at that moment he didn´t feel any regret coming into the Bozeman City, no matter everything painful and awful what had happened since then. Meeting up with Kazuya was worth any troubles he had been through. He was not able to imagine the situation, when he wouldn´t have met this good-looking, brave and honest young man. That he wouldn´t get to know him, he would never ever kissed him… And he also felt that he had to see Kazuya again, no matter what.
The younger´s lips moved slowly, as he wanted to say something, but Jin was the first: "I will come back," he stated in a scratchy but firm voice. "As soon as I kick the ass of my stupid little brother, I will come back, Kazuya."
Kame stared at the older one for a while, nicely surprised by his attitude, before he shook his head slowly.
"I have a better idea," the younger one stated, shifting on bed a little, so that he could face Jin directly. "That poster said that your brother was lastly spotted in Colorado, right? Then you will be heading there first, I suppose."
Jin nodded, a little confused about Kame´s refusal of his proposal, but soon it was clear what was on the younger´s mind.
"It will take a while before you even get there and I bet that finding him will not be a question of a few days either. But it will not take longer than two maybe three weeks before the rest of the tribe will move to the north reservation. Once they will be settled there, I will follow you," Kame stated with the determined shine in his eyes.
His words flooded Jin with something pleasantly warm, what made him somewhat happy, but he was not able to name it. But on the other hand, there were more than enough reasons for him to be worried about that possibility.
"Are you sure?" he asked uncertainly. "It will be dangerous if you travel alone such a long journey…"
Kame smiled at him confidently: "I´ve already managed worse winters than this one, believe me. I will be fine. I want to help you, Jin."
Not that it would have calmed Jin down, but he was honestly glad for this Kame´s decision. It would not be easy to contact each other, but they could manage somehow, if they wanted to.
"All right…" Jin repaid the younger´s encouraging smile. "We should have a meeting point assigned then."
"That´s right... I was thinking about the last big city of the Wyoming Territory," Kame suggested.
"Cheyenne?" Jin remembered.
"Yes, it´s very close to the borders with Colorado," the younger one confirmed. "You can leave a message for me there, stating to which town you continued and if I should follow or stay and wait for you."
"Good idea, but where to leave that message?" Jin pondered. "Not at the local saloon, I guess…"
"I think that the post office should be fine," Kame reacted. "Every town has one in these days."
"What about you would send me a telegram there, before you leave Bozeman?" Jin got an idea. "If we´re still there, I´ll pick it up."
"Sure, I will," Kame agreed right away.
"That sounds like a good plan to me," Jin summarized their discussion.
"Let´s hope it will work," the younger one expressed his wish with a short sigh.
Once they agreed on meeting up again, no matter how long it would take, their gloominess eased up a little. Though Kame still felt uneasy about the fact that it would be impossible for them to know about the other one, even though he knew it was useless to worry about it in advance.
"It´s late. We should rest a little; tomorrow will be a long day for both of us," Kame stated.
"You´re right," Jin agreed, shifting to the side. "Come here."
"But my room is downstairs," the younger one couldn´t help but tease him.
"Oh, shut up," the older one patted the sheets obstinately.
"I´ll just return these to the kitchen and come back, all right?" Kame promised, taking both empty mugs into his hands.
Jin watched as the door closed behind the younger one frowning. He didn´t want to stay alone, not this night. Being alone let his worries come back, along with a strong feeling that he was forced to decide about something, what simply couldn´t have been decided right.
Then his eyes fell on the box next to the nightstand and from a sudden impulse, he dragged it to himself. Jin pulled the guitar out of its place, where it rested for a damn long time already.
Glancing at his fingers he wondered, just when he stopped observing them closely, as he was suddenly surprised there were almost proper nails. Their recovery was faster than Kame had predicted before.
He caressed the smooth wood thinking about what Yamapi would have thought about his… What was Kame to him at the moment exactly? Friend? Boyfriend? Lover? Well, no matter what kind of relationship it was, Jin was sure that his best friend would have liked Kazuya a lot.
He placed the guitar into the proper position in his hands and let his fingers run through the strings carefully. The instrument was a little out-of-tune, but it took only two tiny alterations for the exactly right sound to resonate in the room.
It felt like forever since he had played the last time. And only now, when he held the smooth wood in his hands, he realized how much he had missed it. First, he just tried to get some nice melody, before he remembered one of the songs, which he was not able to finish years ago. So far that song had no words; nothing seemed to be good enough. But now, as Jin got consumed in the melody quickly, the words were popping up in this mind easily, as they were always there, he just didn´t know about it. Letting himself to be carried away with the effect the music always had on him, his lips formed the simple song about ´care´...
"Surely all of us are always
Carrying around countless sorrows and weaknesses
Even if you're about to collapse, have the courage to keep walking
Surely as many smiles as the tears you've shed are waiting for you…"
*
Hearing the sounds of guitar, Kazuya sneaked inside the room, as he didn´t want to interrupt that nice play. The young gunslinger was sitting on the bed, playing the instrument focused on the song completely. And the words of it, created by Jin´s deep voice, in some way stabbed Kame´s heart.
For a few moments, Kame couldn´t pay an attention to anything else than to the young man playing. Jin´s eyes were half closed, his fingers running over the guitar´s strings skillfully, and the long strands of hair falling around his face, as he was moving a little during the play. Kame wanted to burn that picture into his mind.
The song ended and Jin opened his eyes, burying them into Kame´s. During the short silence, they just kept looking at each other, letting the after-effect of the song pass.
"That was quite nice," Kazuya stated in appreciation.
"Thank you," Jin smiled. "I need some more practice, though..."
"I see you can really play that thing," Kame assumed, putting his coat on the hanger, just next to Jin´s one.
"Sure I can," the older one huffed, closing the box again. "Why else would I bother to drag it along all the time?"
"It´s just a shame you couldn´t play it much recently," Kame assumed, while he took his shoes off and crossed the small space toward the bed.
"Well, the reason of it is still obvious," Jin frowned, studying his unnaturally thin nails again. "They look like from a child…"
Two warm hands took Jin´s fingers gently and raised them up a little, to let more lantern´s light fall on it. Jin glanced up on Kame´s face, as the younger one observed his new nails.
"They look much better than I expected…" Kame murmured, obviously surprised. "What about your stomach?" he asked suddenly. "I think that we somewhat forgot about it…"
"It´s completely fine, you don´t have to worry, my dear healer," Jin grinned at him.
Kame frowned suspiciously: "Really? No pain at all?" he urged on the older one. "Any stinging or other unpleasant feelings?"
"Kazu…" Jin slipped from Kame´s grasp and caught him for a hand, pulling the younger one down on bed. "With you around, there is no space for anything unpleasant."
"I didn´t know you can make such a nice flattery," Kame reacted amusedly and reached for the blanket.
They both lied down close to each other.
"There´re tons of things you don´t know about me yet," a whispering voice informed Kame right into his ear, as Jin leant in, breathing in the scent of his hair.
Kame felt himself shivering at that warm and still so alluring closeness of Jin´s body and let himself rest against his side, leaning his head on the other´s shoulder, while Jin hugged him.
"I´m sorry I cannot continue to figure them out during the following days one after another," Kame stated gloomily.
"Yeah, me too," Jin sighed, his fingers tightening on the younger´s shoulder, making also Kame cuddle even tighter to his chest. "Hell, I will miss this," a statement slipped from Jin´s lips. "But I don´t know if I manage to fall asleep like that today…"
"I can still move downstairs," Kazuya murmured.
"No way! Forget it!" Jin snapped immediately, making Kame chuckle. "Hey… You think this is funny?" he asked the one, who was now resting with almost half of his body on him.
Kame sighed and then he moved up, getting with his face above Jin´s, to be able to look him in the eyes.
"No… I just think I have the same problem…"
Jin kept their eyes connected, as he fondled a few strands of Kazuya´s hair away from his face. He pondered just when they had reached this point, when it was so natural to be close to each other.
"Should we do something about it then?" he suggested quietly.
"Well… That might be dangerous," the younger one reacted.
"What do you mean by dangerous?" Jin wondered.
"Depends on what do you mean by something?" Kame asked back.
"You know what?" Jin huffed.
"What?" Kazuya blinked innocently.
"Enough talking."
"Defi-"
The firm fingers squeezed Kazuya´s hair and the hungry lips sealed his mouth, preventing him from finishing the word. As if Kame was waiting for it, he immediately put up a fight for the control over the deep kiss. They were savoring each other, losing their reasons in the wave of heat, when their tongues joined the battle impatiently, making the kissing wet and messy.
Kame tore off just at the moment when Jin felt a chance for winning this battle. With a darkened face, the younger one caressed the side of Jin´s neck, going with the fingers up into his hair. He was so close now that Jin could feel his accelerated heartbeat.
Kame´s head lowered again, but he avoided Jin´s lips and attached with the hot cheek to his.
"I love you, Jin."
Those unexpected words whispered right into his ear threw Jin into the middle of the whirlwind of emotions, which made him numb. Kame pulled away slowly, looking at Jin´s face with his eyes shining. Jin would have never thought that a statement like that could have such a deep and strong effect on him.
"Kazuya…" he just managed to push through the narrow throat, helpless about how he should react.
"You don´t have to say anything," the younger one stated with a small smile. "I just needed you to know it…"
Jin kept staring at the younger one in utter surprise. Not that he would considered their relationship to be just some flinch or something, Jin had already realized and admitted those deep feelings he had for Kame, but he definitely didn´t expect Kame to put it up so bluntly.
Jin was attracted to him so much, that it got him even frightened sometimes, but somehow he was not willing to assign the word ´love´ to it. On the other hand, what did he know about love? He had some affairs and maybe one or two platonic crushes, but so far, there was nobody in his life, whom he could have described as a partner, or even a lover.
Kazuya was the first one to influence him that much and Jin was not sure how to deal with it. And as he really didn´t know what to say, he did the only thing which seemed sufficient. He pulled Kame´s head closer and sealed their lips with a kiss once again, unleashing everything what he felt at that moment into it. He couldn´t say it, but he could let the younger one know about what he was thinking in other way. And Kame didn´t seem to be discontent about it, as his grip in Jin´s hair strengthened and he let Jin conquer his mouth, giving in to the other´s possessive way of caressing.
When Jin let the younger one go finally, Kame remained above him with his eyes closed and his breath shortened. The older one was stroking the soft skin on Kame´s chin, waiting anxiously for those goldish eyes to focus on him again.
Kazuya recognized that his statement surprised Jin a lot. He expected it. Jin´s attitude to their relationship was more complicated from the very beginning. And even though Kame was absolutely sure about what he felt towards the older one, he was not so certain about saying it aloud, as there was a part of him which was a little afraid that it would have pushed Jin away. But he couldn´t help it anymore, those words just came out of him without much thinking. He just wanted to let the other one know about it, no matter if it was a mistake or not.
But Jin´s reaction was much nicer than he would have ever expected. That kiss made his heart shiver and flooded him with the feeling of warm safety. He really didn´t have to hear anything from Jin now. That kiss told him enough; the older one cared for him and still longed after him. So even if Jin didn´t consider their relation in the same way as he did, it was enough.
When Kame opened his eyes finally, still feeling his mind floating somewhere high on the bright place and saw a worried expression in those dark eyes, he had to smile.
"You´re over thinking it, Jin…" he approached him, slipping with his fingers into the other´s hair above the forehead, playing with it gently.
"What?" Jin whispered out a little hoarsely, as if he was not sure about own voice.
"Ah, nothing…" Kame shook his head. "It´s all right like this."
Kazuya snuggled closer into Jin´s arms, not saying anything else. He felt the older one to be a little tense for a while, before he was able to relax and embrace him more tightly again. It felt so damn comfortable, that Kame couldn´t prevent letting his eyelids shut down, with his mind slowly approaching the resting state.
"Kazu?" the quiet voice murmured into his hair.
"Hn?" Kame reacted only half-conscious.
"I´m happy that I met you."
Kazuya smiled at that, shifting his head a little and placing a short kiss at the skin of Jin´s neck, before he let it rest on his chest again.
"Me too… I´m happy that… That you wanted to hunt that bear down here..."
It didn´t take long before Kazuya´s breath got regular and he dozed off to his sleep in Jin´s embrace. But the older one couldn´t rest and his yes kept staring at the dark ceiling.
Those words were not enough, he knew it. Jin was not completely sure about what exactly he felt for the younger one, and he was not able to make himself explain it, but what he said was definitely an understatement.
With a tired sigh, Jin placed a soft kiss into Kame´s hair and closed his eyes, too. When he pondered it more, searching for an answer inside himself, there was attraction, affection, care, sleeping lust and strong wish to stay by the younger´s side. But was it love?
Of course, it is, you idiot! an annoyed voice of his inner self scolded him. Do you really think you want him just because of his sweet ass?
Jin pulled the slender form closer, even though it was not even possible anymore. Of course that he wanted Kame because of who he was and not because of how awesome the sex with him felt like. There was no point in lying to himself in that. If it was just about sex, they would have ended up at that point long ago, despite his previous scruples related to the relations between two men.
And then there was that question again... Was it love, what he felt towards Kazuya?
The younger one mumbled something in his sleep and his breath tickled Jin on his neck.
Jin sighed again. Was it even important to worry about it at the moment, when they were supposed to separate next morning?
There was only one certainty, which Jin had on his mind – it would be difficult as hell to let his beautiful lover go.
***
Mr. Franko, who had made such a fuss about selling anything to any Indian before, was surprisingly helpful, when Kame and Jin entered his shop with their long list of requested stuff very early in the morning.
Despite that the man kept complaining almost all the time about them ruining his business just at the start of the winter season, both youngsters left his shop with the empty wallets, but supplied with anything necessary for the long trip. Kame also needed to borrow a spare horse from the local blacksmith to load everything, what he had purchased for the Blackfeet´s.
While the younger one bargained the price with the sturdy black man, Jin went to see Captain Walker to negotiate with him accompanying his little group on the way to Wyoming and then Colorado. He had also settled his bill with Mr. Harada, which left him almost broke, but at least with clean conscience, while Kame said his goodbye with Brice´s, promising he would stop by at his way back from the mountains.
They met up in the stalls again, where Mike had already prepared their precious horses for the journey. Jin was just checking the buckles on Kuro´s saddle, appreciating Mike´s efforts to do it properly, when two voices were heard.
"Will you come back soon?" the boy´s question reached Jin´s ears at the moment the main entrance opened.
"I will try," Kame´s response sounded encouragingly, but it was hiding sorrow.
Taking a deep breath, Jin pulled Kuro´s bridle and led him out of his stable to face approaching pair.
"You can start working for Mr. Harada again, you know?" small Mike was almost dancing around the former bartender. "There´s a lot of to do, but he cannot find anyone as your substitute. He said nobody is capable to spend a day in saloon without breaking at least two glasses. And he had already tried many applicants…"
"That´s a tempting possibility, Mike, but I don´t think I´ll be coming back," Kame shook his head regretfully.
"That´s a shame, it´s boring here without you…"
"I can imagine that," Jin cut in the conversation casually.
"Ah! Mr. Jin! Was everything with Kuro all right?" Mike switched his attention mode to the older one.
"Yes, everything is in a perfect order, thank you," Jin nodded at that, repaying Kame´s look.
Mike was almost beaming with pride now, but his face prolonged as soon as he realized that the gunslinger was leaving as well.
"Why are you both leaving at once? It will not be any fun around here," Mike complained.
Both youngsters kept silent, just exchanging stares in the middle of stalls.
"Mike, can you please go and tell Captain Walker I´ll be there in a few minutes?" Jin asked the boy pleadingly.
"Of course! Right away, Mr. Jin!"
Mike was already on half way out, when Jin´s call stopped him: "Hey, I told you to address me without that annoying ´Mister´ thing!"
"Got it, Jin!" the boy waved laughing and disappeared outside.
The deafening silence filled up the space. They were leaving at once, as Mike said, but not together. That was on the mind of them both, as they were burying the picture of the other´s face into their brains.
"Have you got everything?" Kame broke the silence in a forcefully calm voice.
"I hope so," Jin assumed.
Kame nodded and then he headed to the stable, where Ukushi was waiting for him patiently. Kuro snorted behind stiffened Jin, and nudged him with his muzzle, pushing him forward, clearly showing his annoyance with his master´s hesitation.
At the next moment, Jin rushed to catch Kame for an arm, before the younger one could have opened the stable. He turned Kazuya around and pressed against his lips with such urgency that Kame had to lean over the wooden counter for support to keep standing.
Jin´s demanding lips didn´t leave any doubts in Kame, that he would be able feel that kiss long after it ended. He let himself be carried away by passion, which the older one revealed in their connection and paid it back eagerly, grabbing Jin´s coat with both hands and pulling him even closer, brushing against him with his body. It was unbearable to know that he couldn´t hold onto the older one for much longer. Jin kept kissing him hastily, stealing Kame for his breath and locking him in his arms so firmly it almost hurt.
Neither of them wanted to end it, but despite that they broke their connection almost roughly, trying to keep themselves just at that and not to continue further. No matter how much Kazuya yearned for Jin to have him right there in the stalls, and no matter how much Jin was eager to topple the younger one in the straw and take him, they had to stop.
It was a damn hard test of their self-control for both of them.
"Be careful," Jin urged on the younger one in a hoarse voice, his eyes filled with the suppressed emotions.
"And you don´t risk much..." Kame repaid him the urgent request.
"Deal," Jin reacted shortly, still holding the younger one close, with his voice unfamiliarly whispering.
Kame saw that fight in his expression, the same he felt himself, before Jin finally let him go so suddenly, that it almost staggered him.
Kame gulped down heavily, feeling as if he was stolen of something irreplaceable, watching Jin as he approached his horse. Not being able to keep his eyes on the older one, Kame headed to the exit to open both sides of the door.
Jin rode out shortly after that, but stopped Kuro right at Kame´s motionless figure.
"Will you accompany me to the office?" he asked suddenly.
Surprised Kame nodded after a while. There was no reason to, but how could he refuse to stay at Jin´s side for a little longer?
*
"It was nice to meet you, Kamenashi," Captain Walker shook with the youngster´s hand firmly. "I hope we will see each other again."
"I´m glad I got to know you as well," Kame reacted politely. "And who knows... Maybe we will meet again sooner than you think," he added, careful about not even glancing at Jin, whose figure was stiffened in the saddle as a statue.
"Take care," Walker parted with him turning his horse. "Ready?" he asked his three subordinates and Jin, waiting for their nods. "Let´s go then..."
Captain made his horse move as the first one, with the soldiers following his lead. Kame´s hands on Ukushi´s reins squeezed it hard, when the dark look fell on him, as Jin stayed on the place as the last one.
The older one seemed as if he was about to say something, but his lips remained closed. The last thing Kame wanted to at the moment was to see Jin leaving; his heart was shaking only at the idea.
"See you soon then?" he said, even managing to create an encouraging smile.
"Yeah..." the older one´s face was stiffened as he spoke. "Say my regards to Liwan and that I´m sorry I couldn´t part with him personally."
"Of course, I will," Kame nodded, slowly turning his Ukushi around. "So... Have a safe journey, Jin."
No reply came from the older one, but Kame still felt his eyes on himself as he incited his mare to cross the street. He felt it, but didn´t turn back, he couldn´t. He had to focus all his strength to continue riding forward. Even though his heart remained back there, with the handsome gunslinger and his lover...
"Akanishi! Are you coming or what?!" one of the soldiers called after him from the end of the wide street.
Jin almost choked on that horrible feeling, which flooded him as he saw Kame´s departing. Not being for Kuro, who shifted and snorted impatiently, he would have probably frozen on that spot. With a heavy heart, he let his dear horse move forward, turning into the opposite direction from where Kazuya headed.
Soon... he persuaded himself almost desperately. We will see each other one day again.
~ TO BE CONTINUED ~
in
Red West II.