Nothing out of ordinary about orientation week. Just basic generic stuff that I barely hear and care about. Sign in for class after that, pack my back and move on.
I think the most interesting part about orientation is when they show where the food court and best food place in the university are.
Class starts and it is not the same as in high school. It gives me a little bit of culture shock. A student in the same class has a different vibe from school. Probably because no more uniforms. The studio is big and has dedicated space for every student and your project. Also, I notice people less care about others and do their own thing which is fine by me.
"Hey!"
"Hey! Address me as TaTerra. How are you?" We shake hands. She seems nice with her deer horns that she accessories with laces and hanging jewelry. Beautiful and give off a strong vibe from her.
I am not good at making friends plus with my much lower hierarchy, I am much less visible. Everyone says hi to each other including me however I already can see people with the same niche and group emerging and I unluckily I didn't fit any group.
TaTerra already walking with people with a hierarchy as high as like Oceania or Turf at a low. She is nice enough to say hi to everyone even for courtesy or showing dominance. I don't mind she didn't show anything red flags so far.
I replied to her about me and she go on with her friends to greet others.
I am optimistic about my study here. Going to the shop and buying equipment that is recommended by orientation is fun. Even though I scavenger hunt solo, I still enjoy it. Buying a book and carrying it around is hard though. Man, I wish I have wings like wind species. Easy to navigate and move. University is huge. using the bus is a must since I don't own a car to ride around.
Our first month was just briefing us on what we have to expect to study here and teaching us the basics of how to draw a plan for our design and design theory. Some lecturers proudly say that they will talk down to us and our work like it is a good thing. They say that how the job environment will be like. I take it as like mild threat but man I might regret not taking it seriously.
At first, it's easy however it gets tough when the second month rolls in. Our final project will be creating furniture with a design drawing plan of it. It may be shocking because we are supposed to make buildings but if we can't make small things like furniture, how can we build bigger objects like homes which is understandable?
It's hard for a lower class like me since relying on my secretion isn't enough. I have to buy materials to make the mock-up scale 1:10 of the furniture that I am making, which is an egg chair pod. and make a full-size model at the end of the semester.
Enthusiastically, full of ideas and motivation, I start working on the project. Drawing and designing. Research to back up my ideas and ready for the first presentation. Even though it feels like a rush to have all material, research, and compile it for presentation in 3 days, I digress. I just innocently believe it just how it is.
The day of the presentation...
"... that is the conclusion of my design presentation. Any question?"
Every student focused on my presentation but the three design lecturers chatting about stuff not related to the presentation to each and were startled when I stared at them. They just scramble their thoughts, asking me questions like what is my design. Sign that they didn't care much about me.
Not just that, lecturers aren't helping with their guidance. Full of criticism, full of cynical remarks. Some lecturers didn't even stay with their advice and changed their opinions based on what they felt.
Even more so lecturers are biased with hierarchy or species which have a much better appearance.
They are much softer and kinder in criticism. Much more accepting of design ideas. I can't deny that a lot of students are much smarter than me especially species higher hierarchy than me however I see and feel different treatment with species lower hierarchy like me.
"This is trash" Throwing away the design from species from the water tribe and stepping on it.
It got to the point they destroyed all mock-up furniture from students like it was some sort of game and only listen to a presentation of the product if they feel like it. Especially species with a low hierarchy like me.
I work endlessly, day and night. Again and again, with the hope, it will get better tomorrow until I lose focus on my life.
Feel pressure.
Terra and a higher hierarchy than me have advantages since they have much higher secretion and are presumedly much smarter than me however I didn't realize how much ego I have. Now I fight with species that are in the same plane field or maybe much higher level than me. Much much higher than me.
My arrogance is far undeserving.
Everything was easy for me before. With bare minimum work, I got high marks but it doesn't work here.
I guess the Oceania blood in me helped with my study before but it didn't help me now with architecture.
Lecturers nail me down with hard work is the only answer to improve myself. Downgrade me like it is second nature to them. Just repeating that I should quit.
"Just quit. If you can't handle this, you can't be an architect. even this is considered mild compared to a real job."
After my turn to meet the lecturer after class for design advice, Taterra, Deean, and Raurf came in. I decide to listen to their critique session to maybe give me more insight.
"Tell me more about your hanging table and what you do so far... I see, your design is really interesting. If you add this here and here it will improve a lot more. Come see me again if you need any help."
I baffle. I maybe just tired or maybe needless envy so I just reset myself to be positive thinking and go get some food.
Tired and feeling hopeless, however, I wouldn't give in and quit just because it was a bit tough.
If I need to lessen my sleep. Sure. If I need to miss eating time. Sure. If I need to buy more materials. Sure.
I do absorb in my project that I drain my money to buy more and more material for my mock-up I didn't realize I losing money fast.
The new problem arises and anxiety starts to creep in. More and more nightmares waking up from anxiety but it's ok. If I improve enough for my project, I will be calm.
But hard work is different from money.
I heard Taterra talk to Rurf about humans. I feel bad for overhearing. It feels like eavesdropping but topics about humans always pique me since I read a lot about humans because interested.
Taterra said that her friend has family that got in contact with humans. Because of how far the human planet is Thauria is far. Takes at least 20 years for the first humans to land in Thauria.
TaTerra said that human is giving free money.