It was Monday, and I was in Sewing Classroom #2.
"Well, well, Tomozaki-kun. Allow me to congratulate you
on your victory," Hinami said grumpily.
That's hardly the way to greet someone first thing on
Monday morning. What was with her?
"You mean at the thing?"
"Yep. 'Grats."
Obviously still hung up on her loss at the tournament, her
tone was dripping with malice. The perfect heroine was
nowhere to be seen. I couldn't even see the final boss. Right
now, she was just a little kid bitter over losing a game.
I decided to take the bait.
"Thanks. It was a pretty easy win."
"What?!"
I could hear the blood vessels in her head threatening to
burst—which is impressive, since that doesn't actually make
a sound. If I needled her any more, I'd probably get myself
killed. I'd better get serious and calm her down.
"I think your last-minute assessments of the situation
were weak. And as long as you're tied to probabilities, you
won't be able to move past that. Good game, though."
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"What?!?!"
I heard one of her capillaries actually burst that time—
which, again, is impressive, since that doesn't actually make
a sound.
But Hinami took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds,
then blew out her anger along with the dark flames inside
her and glared at me.
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"I'm not making excuses. I lost this time. Next time, I
won't. End of discussion."
She abruptly looked away from me. Props to her for
holding back her anger well enough to give me a straight
answer, but the gesture afterward was ridiculous. I
wondered if she acted childish at moments like this on
purpose.
"You're such a brat."
"Shut up. I'll give you more assignments."
"Hey, that's an abuse of power!"
"Shut up."
I was sure she had a better vocabulary than shut up, but
she was really badgering me with it now. It was like Foxy
only using nairs, and both had a strength in their way. Her
brain wasn't running at full capacity, but I backed down. I
knew if I resisted any further, she might actually give me
more assignments, and then I'd be in real trouble. See how
mature I am?
"So what are we doing today? An assignment?"
I changed the subject because I felt like if we stayed on the
current topic any longer, we would both lose. Effective use of
my skills.
"Yes. Although, you haven't made any progress on your
current one since last weekend, have you?"
"Nope."
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My next task—to go out in a group of at least four people,
with me taking the lead.
I didn't hang out with anyone over the weekend, and I
hadn't made any progress.
"In that case, you should get going. If you don't reach it by
Thursday or Friday at the latest, you won't succeed."
"Th-that's sooner than I expected."
Going out as a group of four or more required some
arranging of schedules, which meant I'd better get serious
about it ASAP.
After we went over some details about my assignment, the
conversation turned casual.
I decided to ask her about something that was on my
mind. "Hey, I was wondering…"
"What?"
The meetup had gotten me thinking even more after they
handed out the survey in class.
I wanted to ask Hinami about it.
"What are your plans for the future?"
Yup—the future.
Where would I end up? What did I want to do?
At the same time—I wanted to know what my "mentor"
was planning to do.
"…My plans for the future?" She frowned.
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"Are you planning to go to university or to do something
else? If you do continue with school, have you thought about
what comes after that?"
"Oh, that," she said casually, then continued without
hesitation. "Of course I'm going to university. Todai."
"T-Todai? Tokyo University?"
That's the top school in the country, but she said it like it
was nothing. Well, I guess that was obvious, considering her
academic ability. They say it's super hard to get in, but every
year, several thousand people are accepted. There was no
reason to think she wouldn't be among them.
"And after th-that?"
When I dug down, she didn't even pause to think.
"After that, I'll get a job at the most competitive company
possible. I haven't decided on a specific place, but I'll
probably aim for a general trading company or a
multinational investment bank or something like that. In
that sense, Keio is also an option, but I think I'll go for Todai
first."
"I—I see…"
She was reeling off these grand-scale plans, which made
me wonder how long she'd been thinking about them. They
probably weren't unreasonable given her abilities, but
hearing her treat Keio as a backup with Todai as a shoo-in
made me scared to imagine her future self.
"And a-after that?" I asked, half in the spirit of a kid eager
to scare himself looking at a monster. Once again, she
answered without missing a beat.
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"I know I'll have to get married at some point, but of
course, I don't view that as my goal. I also don't plan to stay
at the same company forever, so I'll only be choosing my
starting point. That experience will reveal new insights.
Naturally, a high school student can't be expected to see all
the way to their end goal. There are bound to be
generational changes as well."
"Oh, um, right."
This rapid-fire description of a detailed yet idealistic
vision was making me dizzy. But at the same time, her words
were so quintessentially Hinami that I couldn't help being
convinced. Sure, I'd taken her to an Atafami meetup to do
the one thing she really loved, and that was great, but it had
no influence on this machinelike part of her.
"Why did you ask? You wanted to know, but you don't
seem to have much to say back."
"I thought we could talk about it, but you're on such a
different level, I don't even know what to say."
I'd imagined us having this fun, interesting conversation
about our futures, but it was more like she was flying alone
up a huge staircase where each step was impossibly high.
She's always saying this stuff that's both grandiose and
specific. Please don't leave me in the dust, Hinami.
"Huh," she said flatly. "Well, what about you, then?"
"Me…?" I sank into thought.
What did I want to do? What was my life goal?
I'd given a bit of thought to the general direction I ought
to take, but I still hadn't glimpsed what lay there.
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Where the hell was I headed anyway?
"…I…"
"Listen, can you stop getting so serious about small talk?
You're dragging me down."
"Well, excuse me!"
I'm trying to be serious, and then here she comes to ruin
it. There's nothing more embarrassing than to be told you're
a drag when you're trying to be serious. I couldn't take that
lying down.
"Anyway, don't you think you're treating this decision a
little too lightly?" I asked her.
"Lightly? Everything I mentioned is hard. Todai and
general trading companies and investment banks. All of it."
"That's not what I meant."
I was sure she was intentionally misunderstanding me.
"Did you really think through your choices?"
"Do you think I'd be able to answer so smoothly if I hadn't
thought it through?"
"Oof."
Of course, she was right. That wasn't what I wanted to
say. But—it was like her ideals lacked the most important
premise.
Yeah, that was it. If I put it in words—
"No, what I mean is, are you sure that's what you want to
do?"
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"…Oh, there's your favorite phrase." She sighed loudly
with a combination of boredom and disappointment. "Are
we seriously talking about 'what we really want' again?"
She looked down and shook her head in exasperation. She
was treating me like an idiot.
"Shut up. Of course we are! I told you I'd teach you about
how to enjoy life! And stuff!" I shot back incoherently.
She laughed. "And you've taught me absolutely nothing so
far."
"N-no, that's…not true."
"Well then, what? What have I learned?"
"Um…" I hesitated, then remembered something.
That's why I took her there in the first place.
"The meetup! It was fun, right? The tournament?"
"…Yes, and?"
"Sooo…?" I said smugly.
She frowned. "But I've always liked Atafami. You didn't
teach me that."
"Uh, um…okay, but…"
"…Sigh."
She cut off my counterargument. Amazing how much
pressure she could exert without even saying anything.
"Also, my future has nothing to do with the fact that
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Atafami is fun."
"I—I don't think that's true…"
Even as I contradicted her, my voice was growing quieter.
My own goal was pretty vague, too, so I couldn't tell her
about it with confidence.
"You don't?"
"Um, not necessarily."
"You don't sound so sure…"
She was gradually shifting to the tone of an adult who was
being careful not to hurt a child as they played. Come on, I
know you're better than me, but now you're just showing
off.
"Hmph. So what? Do you plan to tell me you're going to
play Atafami for a job?"
"Uh…"
For some reason, my heart skipped a beat at hearing the
words out loud. It was as if a storm of anxiety, uncertainty,
and something like an accusation unsettled my emotions.
Suddenly, I was very uncomfortable.
"N-no…I'm not saying that."
"You're being very evasive."
Hinami sounded disappointed. Still…I couldn't really put
it into words, but I was resistant to talking any more about
it.
I vaguely tried to change the topic.
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"S-still, your plan doesn't really sound like something you
want to do. More like something you're aiming for because
society sees it as impressive."
"Hmm," she replied with disinterest. My words weren't
reaching her anymore.
Finally, she pointed right between my eyes, as if she was
pointing out my insincerity or tendency to run away.
"Do you really think you can lecture me on my future
when you haven't even decided on your own goals?"
She was absolutely, completely right, and I had nothing to
say in response.
"…No."
She shook her head, a pitying look on her face. All I could
do was hang my head. I'd lost again. I'd like to know what it
feels like to win.
* * *
"And I went to an offline meetup…"
It was lunch break, and I was in the cafeteria.
Kikuchi-san and I were having lunch together, taking our
time talking about what we'd each been up to lately. By the
way, we meet for lunch a couple of times a week, not on any
particular schedule. I'd be happy to eat together every day,
but she said she didn't want my other friendships to suffer,
so we should only do it when it's convenient for both of us.
Today, I wanted to tell her about a bunch of stuff, so I
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suggested we meet up.
"…and I won the tournament."
"Wow! You really are good, aren't you?"
"Yeah. I mean, I've got the top online winrate in Japan," I
said casually, holding a tray of the sweet-and-sour pork
lunch in one hand.
"Wh-what does that mean…?"
"Um, I guess you could say that out of all the people who
play Atafami in Japan, I win the highest percentage of my
games. Although, the real meaning is a little different…"
"Wait, so you really mean the top winrate in Japan?" she
said, repeating the phrase. I guess I shouldn't have been
surprised by her reaction. I'd basically said I was the best in
the country at this.
"Ah-ha-ha. Yup. Pretty much," I replied.
She froze for a few seconds. "…That explains a few
things."
"It does?" I said, surprised by her response.
She smiled teasingly. "Yes."
"S-such as?"
"…Well…"
She grew serious, searching for the words. I could hear
her making soft hmms, which made me want to support her
somehow.
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Finally, she looked up at me. "I thought you were a very
strange person…"
"Hey, all that thinking, and that's what you came up
with?" I joked.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" she said, smiling back at me.
Of course, part of the reason we could joke around in this
intimate kind of way was that we were dating—but I also felt
like I'd gotten the hang of it from talking with people like
Izumi. Life was all about learning.
"But what I mean is…I noticed you were a little bit
different from everyone else, and that's why…"
"Y-you did?"
I know that my attitude toward Atafami and other games
is different from other people's, but I didn't really have a
sense that the difference showed up in the game of life, too,
like Kikuchi-san was saying.
"Yes. You seemed very sincere—or maybe serious is a
better word."
"Oh…that."
I couldn't deny it.
"You know, the other day when I was walking home with
Mimimi, she said it was kind of strange how sincere I am."
"You mean…Nanami-san?" Kikuchi-san asked softly.
I nodded. "You know that survey we filled out the other
day?"
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"Yes."
Kikuchi-san was listening eagerly to what I had to say.
"I figured I could just write down that I was going to
university and then put the name of a school that I could
probably get into, but then I started to wonder if that was
enough. I mean, I can't stop thinking about it. And when I
told her about it, she said I was very sincere."
"I agree with her," she said, smiling mildly.
"She said that she thought I'd find something I wanted to
do and dash right into it. That I wouldn't stop no matter
what anyone said, and then when I got results, I'd say, Told
ya so!"
Kikuchi-san pressed her hand over her mouth, giggling.
"Somehow, I can imagine that."
"Or I'd rush headlong into something and fail
completely."
"Ah-ha-ha. I can imagine that, too."
"You can?!"
Why did I have such a contradictory image? Now that I
had two people telling me they could imagine me totally
screwing up my future, I was even more uncertain.
"You and Nanami-san…get off at the same station, right?"
"Um, yeah."
I nodded, caught off guard by her question. The topic was
connected on the surface but actually totally different.
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Kikuchi-san sank into pensive silence for a moment, then
finally said, "It sounds like Nanami-san might think you're a
strange person, too."
"Hey!"
Kikuchi-san's been starting to make that sort of candid
joke, although she thinks about it a bit first. I like that.
"But you're right… I do want to take gaming seriously."
"I thought so!"
"Yeah," I said and decided to talk a little about my
principles. "This goes for Atafami and for the effort I put
into changing myself on a daily basis, but I have a hard time
motivating myself if I don't think past the immediate task to
what I really want…"
"Tee-hee, that sounds like you."
"Maybe that part of me is a little weird."
From what I can tell after asking around, not many people
think like I do. I looked Kikuchi-san in the eye. She nodded
slowly, like what I said made sense.
"…Yes."
"What?"
She stared at me, batting her eyelashes.
For some reason, her next words sounded happy.
Like she was satisfied.
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"I think you've leveled up in your everyday life, too—like a
video game."
My breath caught in my throat a little.
It wasn't just that she'd put my feelings into words—she'd
drawn out the premise that formed the backdrop for my
whole life, and that really got to me.
"Yeah, you could be right," I couldn't help saying. I
smiled.
I felt like I understood now why I'd been so unsure about
my own future.
So when I said those words, I was careful to keep my tone
positive.
"For me—life is a game, and that's why I want to take it
seriously."
My mind felt suddenly clear.
I may be a little strange. But it's only because I take games
more seriously than anyone else.
There was no reason to feel embarrassed. If anything, it
was something to be proud of.
I made up my mind. In life, too, I'd think and think and
think things over until I couldn't think anymore.
After all, I'm nanashi—and I like this game.
* * *
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"Wow…Hinami-san plays Atafami, too?"
"Yup."
After lunch, Kikuchi-san and I were drinking hot barley
tea and chatting. Once you get used to the free tea being
about worth what you paid for it, it starts to taste nostalgic.
Funny enough, it even starts to seem charming.
"And we played each other in the final match…"
"You did?! Hinami-san really is good at everything."
I was telling her about what Hinami did at the meetup. I
figured I should be honest about the fact that even though a
lot of people were there, she and I really had gone as a pair. I
mean, Kikuchi-san and I are…um, y'know…dating and stuff.
"That's… Hmm." Kikuchi-san took a sip of her tea.
"What?" I asked.
"Um, you're…good friends with her, aren't you?" She
stared at me.
"Uh, I g-guess so?"
I'm not sure we're friends so much as master and disciple,
but when Kikuchi-san named her out of all the people I'd
made friends with over the past six months, a shiver ran
down my spine.
"Remember, you came to my restaurant together, too."
"Oh yeah, we did."
Kikuchi-san had taken an interest in Hinami's behavior
and motivations ever since the play, and knowing her, I
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wouldn't be surprised if she'd figured some things out, but
I'd forgotten that the three of us had that run-in way back
before that. Well, I just had to be careful that I wasn't the
one who gave away Hinami's real personality.
"But I've made lots of friends recently," I said, trying to
shift the focus.
"…Is that so?" Kikuchi-san said, sounding slightly
dissatisfied. She was still staring straight at me.
"Yeah. Like Nakamura and Mizusawa and Takei…and
lately, Tachibana."
"Yes…I guess that's true."
"R-right?"
The darkness in her eyes was still there, and I couldn't
hide the panic I felt, but I managed to smile. Kikuchi-san
was very sharp when it came to sensing something off in
situations like this.
"And you're also friends with…um…Nanami-san and
Izumi-san."
"Yes! See!"
I was trying to make the point that Hinami wasn't my only
friend, but instead, Kikuchi-san looked even more unhappy.
"Yes…you get along with everyone, don't you?"
"Yeah, lately. It's not just Hinami."
"…Uh-huh," she said in a vaguely lonely way. But then she
thought for a moment and smiled.
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"Oh, by the way," I said. I wasn't changing the
conversation to leave an uncomfortable topic—I really had
just remembered.
"What?" she said, tilting her head.
"Look," I said, showing her my phone. "I'm on Twitter
now, too."
She scrutinized the account for nanashi that I'd pulled up,
her head still tilted.
"…Nanashi?"
"Oh, um, that's my Atafami name. There's no deep
meaning in it or anything…"
I wanted to be genuine with her, and I tried not to be shy
about what I said next.
"I wanted…to tell you first," I said, looking her in the eye
and smiling.
Yup. The account on the screen had zero follows and zero
followers.
It was Fumiya Tomozaki's, aka nanashi's, genuinely
brand-new account.
"Since we're dating and this is important, I wanted you to
be first."
"Really?" she said, widening her eyes in surprise. Slowly, a
smile spread over her face. "I'm glad to see it."
I nodded kindly and looked down at my phone. Then I
searched for Kikuchi-san's Twitter ID and followed her.
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"So…looking forward to getting to know you better?"
I wasn't sure what to say, but Kikuchi-san was gazing
happily at my phone. My account now read 1 Following.
"I'll follow you, too," she said warmly, and a second later,
my account read 1 Following 1 Followers. For right now, it
was a secret account that only the two of us knew about.
Yeah, the time I spend with Kikuchi-san is always sweet
and slow.
* * *
After school, since I'd clarified my stance toward life, I
decided to take a step forward.
I want to figure out my life goal—what I want to do over
the long term. I don't care if people think I'm being overly
serious. After all, I'm nanashi, and life is a game.
In which case, there's only one thing I can do—gather
information. The usual. That's how it works in these games.
"Tama-chan!" I called.
She was sitting at her desk on her phone.
I wanted to interview her about her future plans. I'd
already asked Mizusawa, Mimimi, and Hinami about it, so
now I thought I'd ask Tama-chan. When it comes to doing
what we want to do and saying what we want to say, she and
I are similar.
In a way, our approach to life is similar, so I figured her
thoughts on the future might give me some hints about my
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own.
"What's up?" she called back cheerfully in a welcoming
tone. I smiled naturally and asked her exactly what I wanted
to know.
"Have you decided what you're doing after graduation?"
She thought for a second, then murmured, "Actually…I
don't tell this to many people, but…"
"Yeah?"
"My family runs a cake shop…well, a Western-style pastry
shop."
"Really?"
This was news to me. I mean, none of us talk much about
our families.
"I do plan to go to university, but at the same time, I'm
thinking I'll start getting more serious about helping out in
the shop."
"Wow!"
Tama-chan as a pâtissier… The image was a surprisingly
good fit.
"You mean you eventually want to take over the
business?"
"Well…," she said, sounding unsure. "I won't know till I
give it a try! I already help out on the weekends…"
"Yeah?"
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"But I'm really not sure if I want to take over. So going to
college will give me some time to think on it."
"That does make sense."
If she'd started helping out in earnest now, she'd have
plenty of time to make a decision. It sounded like a good
plan.
"But I like our cakes, and I like the work, so right now, I
think I'll probably end up there!"
"…Wow."
I was impressed. She not only had a specific plan for her
future, but she also intended to make her final decision
based on whether she liked the work, which was very much
in character. No one would choose her path for her—she'd
decide of her own free will.
I think I'll probably do the same thing.
Just then…
"Taaaaamaaaaa!!"
Of course, the person flying toward us was Mimimi, but
one thing was different than usual—Takei was following her,
waving just as enthusiastically.
"Hiiiiiiii!! Tamaaaaaaa!! Farm Boyyyyyyyyyyy!!"
What the hell? In one second, everything was mayhem. I
knew those two had a similar energy, but I didn't know
things would get this crazy when they came together.
"Both of you, be quiet!" Tama-chan scolded sharply.
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""Yes, ma'am,"" they said in unison, straightened their
backs, lined up, and saluted. What, they're soldiers now?
"Ha-ha…but seriously, what are you two doing?" I asked,
smiling wryly. Mimimi laughed.
"Nothing! I just noticed Takei kept looking at you two, so I
figured he wanted to join in the conversation, and we both
came over! I'm a girl who can read the signs! Charming,
don't you think?"
"Yeah, uh, what she said!"
In contrast to Mimimi's cheerful openness, Takei sounded
slightly confused.
"…Hmm…"
Just then, I remembered something Takei had said at the
beginning of the school festival.
"Tama's really my type!"
As his voice played inside my head, I gave him a pensive
look.
"…Hmmm?"
I looked back and forth between Takei and Tama-chan. I
noticed that he kept glancing furtively at her, which made
me wonder even more about what was happening.
"Takei. Come over here for a second," I said, gesturing to
him.
"Who, me?! What?!"
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We turned away from Mimimi and Tama-chan and
conferred in secret.
"Didn't you say a while ago that Tama-chan's your type?"
"Wh-what?! D-d-did…I say that?!"
"Is that why…you came over here just now?" It was a very
direct question.
In response to my very direct question, he flushed beet
red and looked away.
"I c-c-can't tell you that…!!"
He was clearly freaking out.
"Okay, I understand."
I craned my neck around, then turned back toward Tamachan and Mimimi. Mimimi immediately latched on to my
obviously suspicious behavior.
"What, what?! Were you two talking about something
secret?!"
I couldn't very well tell her what Takei was feeling—or I
should probably say that if I did put it into words, it would
become real, so I didn't want to say it.
"I can't tell you."
"What?!" she said, pouting. Once again, Takei was
repeatedly glancing at Tama-chan and then looking away.
Takei. Oh, Takei.
I sighed—and at the same time, a sense of mission
overcame me.
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"But I have to protect Tama-chan. That's all I know."
"Brain?! Are you suddenly proposing?!" Mimimi asked,
leaping up.
"Tomozaki…what are you saying?" Tama-chan said, her
suspicions rising, too.
The sense of mission did not go away.
"Oh, nothing. This is my burden to bear…"
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With that, I cut off the conversation and changed the
subject. Mimimi was still not happy with this, but once we
were talking about something else, she should be fine.
"Hey, Tama-chan, do you mind if I tell these two what we
were talking about a minute ago?"
"Sure, fine by me."
"What, what? Tell me!"
Mimimi's ability to follow right along was always
impressive as I drove the conversation around a hairpin
turn. I told them the interesting tidbit Tama-chan had
revealed earlier.
"Tama-chan said her family runs a Western-style pastry
shop."
"Really?! You mean, like, a store that sells cakes and
things?!"
"Uh-huh," Tama-chan answered, while I decided to tease
Mimimi a bit for her childish phrasing.
"'A store that sells cakes and things'? Honestly, Mimimi?"
Everyone was following their own script. By the way,
Takei waited a beat, then said, "Wow, they do?!" It was
revealing that the natural-born normie reacted more
sluggishly than I did. I guess he slows down when he's
nervous.
"You didn't know that, either, Mimimi?"
"Nope! First time I'm hearing it!" she said, pointing to
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both ears.
I'm fairly sure the gesture was meaningless, so I just said,
"Oh," and moved on.
Tama-chan had said she didn't really talk about it, but I
was surprised that even Mimimi was unaware. It was
probably safe to assume that aside from the three of us, no
one else knew. I wonder why she'd suddenly decided to tell
me.
"So what's it like? Just your ordinary sweet shop, or…?!"
"Yeah. We sell cakes and cookies and pudding, stuff like
that."
"What?! Do you help make it?!"
"Uh-huh. In fact, I'm going to help tamarrow," she said,
seeming to realize her pun only after she said it. "But only
then!"
"There it is!!" Mimimi said, smiling happily. I'm glad
they're such good friends.
By the way, when I glanced over at Takei, his eyes seemed
to be spinning from the fast-paced conversation, and his face
was slightly blue. I felt like I was looking at a version of
myself from not so long ago, which put me in a benevolent
mood.
"I can't believe this! If you help cook, then we have to go
try everything out!"
"I knew you'd say that. That's why I never mentioned it."
"Aw, meanie!"
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Tama-chan gave an impish smile as she delivered her
bull's-eye to Mimimi. Even though she was being her usual
blunt self, the mood was very gentle. It was like that smile
afterward completely changed our impression of what she
said. It wasn't a skill I knew how to use, which meant she
was already several levels above me. I'm so proud of my
student.
"But why did you tell me out of the blue?" I asked.
She thought for a second. "'Cause you asked."
"That's it?" Mimimi asked, leaning forward. I agreed that
it sounded random but, at the same time, very, very Tamaish.
Tama-chan laughed happily at Mimimi's exaggerated
reaction, before adding frankly, "Also, I've been trying to be
more open lately, and I've been enjoying it. I figured I might
as well tell you."
The way she said it made me feel sure that she wasn't
hiding any other motivation—those were clearly her honest
feelings.
"…Ah," Mimimi said, smiling and nodding with a
protective, gentle look in her eyes.
Hearing Tama-chan's real feelings must have reassured
her, too. Tama-chan was genuinely enjoying her life at
school these days.
"Hey, I have an idea…," I said, smoothly taking a big
proverbial step forward.
Partly it was because I'd remembered my assignment, but
even more than that…Tama-chan's openness made me want
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to do it.
"On our way home, how about we all stop by Tama-chan's
shop?"
* * *
And then there we were, being guided by Tama-chan to
her house. Incidentally, a little earlier, I'd gotten a LINE
message from Kikuchi-san inviting me to walk to the station
together, but I had to tell her I'd literally just made other
plans. Sometimes, you want to do so many things that they
don't all work out.
Still, we did eat lunch together, so it was a bit unusual for
her to want to also walk home together. I'd better make it up
to her later.
"I've never gotten off here before! How far is your house
from the station?" Mimimi asked excitedly as we walked
through the exit gates.
"Uh, about three minutes."
"Oh, that's so close!"
"Yeah, very c-close," Takei said, still obviously nervous.
Tama-chan led the way. After a few minutes walking
through the cold, dim evening, we arrived at a shop called Le
Petit Bois.
A stylish brown and green sign that I think was modeled
on a tree hung over a large plate-glass window. A warm
orange light shone onto the sidewalk, and I'm not sure, but I
think I smelled the toasty scent of butter and flour wafting
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toward us.
"Wow! It looks just like a sweet shop! No Tama-ness at
all!"
"This way."
"What's that supposed to mean, 'Tama-ness'?"
Tama-chan flatly ignored Mimimi's joke, so I had to pick
it up. To be precise, that was normally Takei's job, but right
now, he was so nervous that I couldn't count on him for any
help.
The four of us walked down the two or three stairs leading
from the street to a glass door. Opening it, we entered a kind
of partially underground space. It must have been about half
the size of a normal convenience store, with a counter a little
bigger than average for a sweet shop, packed with cookies,
financiers, rusks, and other baked goods.
The display of cakes by the register ranged from the usual
shortcakes and chocolate cakes to more unusual selections
like mango tart, peach cheesecake, and lemon cake rolls.
"It smells a-awesome in here…"
Takei's animal instincts were taking over.
As we were looking around, a female employee came out
from the back room. She looked to be in her forties, with
noticeable laugh lines around her eyes and mouth, which
made her appear slightly girlish even though she was clearly
an adult.
She smiled brightly at us.
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"Oh, you're back, Hanabi! Are these your friends?" she
chirped.
"Hi, Mom. Yes, and please leave us alone."
"Hanabi, don't talk to your mother like that!"
I couldn't help smiling to see Tama-chan being her usual
self even at home. Or maybe growing up in this environment
was what made her into the Tama-chan we know. Anyway,
the older woman apparently was her mom.
"Pardon my daughter. Please make yourselves at home!"
she said playfully, pointing to a cloth partition next to the
register.
"Do you mind if all three of them go in the back?" Tamachan asked.
"Of course not."
"Thanks! This way, you guys!"
She pushed aside the cloth, slipped off her shoes, and
stepped up into the room. Even though she spoke almost
rudely to her mom, that little "thanks" told me they actually
got along well.
"Thank you!"
"Yeah, thanks!"
"Uh, th-thanks!"
Mimimi thanked Tama-chan's mom energetically, and I
followed her lead by bowing my head. Takei was choking on
his words.
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"You're welcome! Hanabi, why didn't you warn me you
were going to bring home such a handsome boy and his
strong-looking friend?"
"Mom, stop it!"
"She just called me h-handsome! I'm blushing!" Takei
said happily. I wasn't gonna be the one to say it, but process
of elimination should have told him he wasn't the one being
called handsome. No one would look at me and come up
with the word strong. Unless we're talking about Atafami,
then I'm like Hercules.
"Is someone there?" a male voice suddenly called out from
farther back.
"Hanabi brought some friends over!"
"You don't say! Give me a minute! As soon as these are
done baking, I'll come say hello!"
"Keep your shirt on, they'll be back!"
The man in the back was having a very informal
conversation with Tama-chan's mom. Must be her dad.
"Go on, make yourselves at home, kids!" her mom said,
giving us a friendly smile as she shooed us along.
"Damn! Come back when these are done, okay? Lemme
meet your friends!"
"We're going in," Tama-chan said, ignoring her dad and
pulling Mimimi toward the back of the shop. What was the
dynamic? They didn't seem to get along badly, but why was
her dad so worked up? Was he shy around strangers?
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"Wait for me!" Takei cried pitifully as he followed behind
them. I bowed to Tama-chan's mom again, then followed
Takei into the back room.
Incidentally, when I glanced over my shoulder, her mom
was still smiling as she watched us disappear. Yeah, she
strikes me as a really good person.
* * *
Tama-chan led us to her room.
I glanced around and was surprised to see how girly it
was, full of pastel knickknacks and stuffed animals. I was
expecting something more all-business. When I asked her
about it, she said most of the stuff, her parents got her when
she was little, so it wasn't particularly her taste. That totally
made sense. They seemed like the type to hold on to things.
The four of us were sitting around a little table, talking.
"Wait, so the stuff you cook gets sold in the shop?"
"Of course. My granddad inspects it first, though."
"Wow!"
Mimimi was asking Tama-chan all sorts of questions
while we chatted. She told us that on the weekends, if she
didn't have plans, her grandfather would teach her the
specifics of the recipes, and then she'd try them out.
Her grandfather had started the shop from nothing, and
until a few years ago, he'd run it himself. Eventually, he
couldn't handle the physical labor and retired. Now he was
teaching his craft to Tama-chan's parents, who had taken
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over, and to Tama-chan herself, who might one day take
over from them. His role was apparently to decide whether
the cakes and cookies were good enough to go on the
shelves.
I was genuinely impressed by the way they were handing
down the secret family recipes over the generations.
"It really seems like the business will stay in your family
for generations. That's pretty rare these days, isn't it?"
"Maybe. Although, I still haven't decided if I'll take over or
not…"
That attitude was refreshing. My family was your typical
company family, so getting a glimpse of this different
environment was fascinating. Takei was mumbling
periodically to show he was impressed, too, but why was he
sitting with his legs folded under like we were at a tea
ceremony or something?
Tama-chan said that since she was an only child, if she
didn't end up taking over the business, a relative or trusted
employee probably would.
As we were talking, someone knocked on the door.
"Hanabi! I brought you some tea and sweets."
"Come in!"
The door opened, and her mom came in, carrying a tray
with big mugs of black tea and a plate piled with pastries.
"You didn't have to do that, but thanks!" Tama-chan said
in her unvarnished way.
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The three of us thanked her, too. Her mom answered
cheerfully that it was no problem at all, setting the tray down
in front of us on the table.
"This is our special tea…and these are financiers and
macarons that Hanabi made, believe it or not!"
"Really?!" Takei blurted out, transparently delighted. He's
so easy to read. What happened to the quiet, polite boy from
earlier?
"If you'd like, you can have Hanabi show you around the
bakery," her mom said, waving good-bye to us as she backed
out the door. She seemed like such a positive person, with
that innocent expression of hers.
Every one of us was staring at the pile of sweets.
"This is amazing! Did you really make all these?" Mimimi
asked. Tama-chan looked embarrassed.
"Yeah, I think these are the ones I made the other day.
Granddad said we couldn't sell them."
"What?! He sounds tough!"
"Well, people are paying good money for it."
During this conversation, the usually talkative Takei was
staring fervently at the plate of pastries Tama-chan made. If
you want them that bad, go ahead and eat them already!
I picked up a financier and took a bite.
"…Oh my god, this is so good!"
I was honestly surprised. The second I put it in my mouth,
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the fragrance and pure buttery sweetness spread through my
mouth and brought with it a rush of bliss. The way it
crumbled in my mouth was new, and I wanted another bite
so I could feel it dissolving on my tongue again.
"Really? …Thanks."
For once, Tama-chan sounded bashful. She seemed happy
as she watched me. I ignored her and finished off the
financier, surprised again.
"You m-made this?"
"Yes, and?"
"It's so good! I can't believe this didn't make the cut."
It was just one surprise after another—not only did a girl
in my class make something this delicious, but it still wasn't
good enough to sell.
"Oh, um, he did compliment the flavor…but the shape was
no good."
"Oh…you have to worry about that, too?"
"Yeah. He said it wouldn't look right unless I planned for
how much it would rise when I baked it."
"Wow…"
I didn't understand the details, but clearly, this was a job
for pros. The standards were way beyond me. It's always like
that—beginners just don't get the things that S-rank players
care about.
"Th-this is awesome…"
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Takei's eyes were actually welling with tears as he ate one
of the financiers. Although, in Takei's case, I think the
emotion might have been related to something else.
"Ah-ha-ha. Thanks, Takei."
"Y-y-y-you're welcome!!"
Takei was really stuttering now. You okay, man? You're
acting like me.
"You're right!! This macaron is so good, too!"
Mimimi was similarly impressed, which made Tama-chan
hunch up her shoulders again. What was with this warm and
fuzzy interlude?
"On this one, it was more the color that was off. Granddad
said color is crucial for macarons."
"So trendy!"
Yeah, I've never heard of a grandfather who knows how to
make macarons look their best.
"You know, they're actually a traditional Western cookie."
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"Ohhhh. So they're not just a trend."
There we were, talking about sweets. Tama-chan wasn't
usually the center of attention, but it wasn't a bad feeling at
all.
"He says I have to get a lot of experience, because the
length of cooking time and the oven temperature and the
humidity and air temperature all have an effect."
"Hmm," Mimimi said, gazing at Tama-chan with
sparkling eyes. Her expression was both envious and lonely.
I wonder what she was thinking about.
My guess was—the future.
"When we're married, I'll have you bake me things every
day!" said Mimimi.
"I'm not getting married."
So she was thinking about the future, but the boring part.
She made a shocked face.
"Brain! She didn't say she can't, she said she won't!"
"I think she means that even if she can, she wouldn't want
to."
"Thank you for explaining," said Tama-chan.
Mimimi was all wound up, I did my best to tease her, and
Tama-chan was deadpan. That was how the three of us
always had fun in our own ways.
But in the middle of it all, Takei was stiff and almost
silent. Come on, Takei, you can do this!
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* * *
About an hour passed.
"And this is the main cake-display area."
At her mom's suggestion, Tama-chan was giving us a tour
of the bakery.
"Hanabi's cakes go in there, too!" her mom added from
behind the register as Tama-chan pointed out their
signature items.
"Mom, just let me explain!" she protested, but her mom
said that made her feel left out and kept adding comments.
They really got along too well.
"What's this?! You're giving your friends a tour?! As soon
as these come out of the oven and I get the next thing ready,
I'll join you!"
I couldn't help smiling. Her dad seemed very busy.
"Your family…is so interesting," I said.
"They are not!" she shot back.
"Yes, we are!" "You said it!" her parents called out
enthusiastically. Okay, Dad, just go bake your cookies.
Mimimi must have been fascinated by the pair of them
because every time we went near the register, she made
conversation.
"Wow, this looks like a jewel!"
"Well, actually…"
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As Tama-chan's mom gave us a detailed explanation of
the cakes, her dad finally emerged from the back, and the
three of us did our greetings all over again.
Her dad was small but apparently very energetic, with
even features that made me think he must have been really
handsome when he was younger. He had on a fairly tall
chef's hat, and like Tama-chan's mom, there was a strong
sense of innocence about him. Also, from what I could tell at
first glance, he was shorter than her mom.
As Mimimi was asking them about what the store did
differently and various other questions about the sweets, she
suddenly asked, "What was Tama like as a little girl?"
The two of them looked at each other, giggled, then
looked back at Mimimi. Meanwhile, Tama-chan blushed and
glanced around nervously.
"Well, Hanabi has never lied," her father said.
"I thought so!"
"Yes. She always said whatever came to mind, and if
someone was being bullied in her class, she would put a stop
to it, and if she didn't want to do something, she would say
so."
"Really?!"
As I listened to Mimimi talk with Tama-chan's dad, I
thought back over the year.
Just last semester, she'd spoken out about the bullying in
our class. I guess she'd always been like that.
"And that's why her grandfather likes the honest flavor of
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her cookies and cakes, but…"
"But?" Mimimi asked.
"…he's always telling her they have a long way to go in
terms of looks," her mom said teasingly.
"And then she'll say, 'The flavor's what matters!' and it
becomes a whole argument," her dad said nostalgically. Very
Tama-like.
"Please just stop!" Tama-chan protested.
"But lately, she's starting to understand," her dad said
slowly, a kind smile spreading over his face. Deep wrinkles
creased the corners of his eyes as he gazed at his daughter.
"It's not just the flavor that matters—how you
communicate that is important, too."
* * *
After talking with the whole family for a while, the three
of us headed home.
"Thanks for everything!"
"Thank you!"
"Th-th-thanks!"
Takei was the only one who acted all nervous when we
said good-bye to Tama-chan's parents.
"Come visit again! Here's a little something to take home,"
her mom said, giving us each a paper bag. The bags were
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made from sparkly light-green Japanese paper, the kind of
fancy high-quality thing you could just stare at forever.
"We can't take all of this!" Mimimi said, peering into her
bag.
I checked mine, too. It was stuffed with tons of different
individually wrapped cookies. If they sold this at normal
prices, I'm sure it would cost a small fortune.
"Of course you can! The sell-by date is tomorrow, so we
won't be able to keep them on the shelf."
"R-really…?"
"Oh, they won't go bad or anything, but Grandpa always
says you can't sell something that will lose its flavor in three
days. These should be fine for two weeks or so!"
Her mom smiled happily, ruffling Tama-chan's hair.
"Hanabi doesn't bring friends over very often, you know!"
she said, but Tama-chan wiggled away from her hand. We
watched them, smiling.
"Well, in that case, I'm grateful to have them!" Mimimi
said, taking the lead.
"Good! And by the way…," her mom said, smiling
conspiratorially before looking at Tama-chan.
Tama-chan made a grumpy face, like she'd just realized
something, and returned her mom's gaze.
"I didn't know our daughter had such an adorable
nickname! Tama is just perfect for our Hanabi!" her mom
finally said.
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Then she and Tama-chan's dad started teasingly using her
nickname every chance they got. Oh man. Tama-chan's face
was getting redder by the second. She glared at us.
"That's why I didn't want to bring you here!" she shouted.
So that's why she never invited us over before. Personally,
I think it's a good nickname, but I could see how she'd be
embarrassed having her parents know about it.
* * *
After we said good-bye, we walked toward the station,
carrying our paper bags. Takei was beaming as he looked
into his. I felt like even though he wasn't very open about it
in the past, he must really like Tama-chan. Or maybe he just
got that way because I said something about it.
"Wow!" Mimimi suddenly said.
"What?"
I turned my head. She was holding up her phone.
"Look at this! They got three and a half stars on Tabelog!
They're really popular!"
"Wow, you're right."
The Tabelog page for Le Petit Bois was pulled up on her
screen, with a score of 3.58, which is fairly high for that site.
"Th-that's amazing…! Takei said. The three of us skimmed
the reviews. All of them were good, and I couldn't help
feeling happy just reading them.
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"Man, their stuff really is good! She beat me!" Mimimi
slapped her forehead.
"Ha-ha-ha. Beat you at what?"
"I never thought Tama would get ahead of me, too."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, smiling wryly
before it eventually dawned on me. "Oh, you mean about
deciding on future plans?"
"Yes!"
Mimimi was worried about her own future. True, Tamachan was still trying to decide if she'd take over the family
shop or not, but her choice was very concrete, and it was
right in front of her eyes.
"You shouldn't worry about it so much. It's unusual to
have a family business like that."
"I guess you're right. But they seem so fun!"
"Tama-chan's family?" I asked.
Mimimi nodded. "They're so lively…kind of like your
family."
"My family?"
"You've been to Farm Boy's house?!" Takei really latched
on to that.
"Um, we went as a group one time."
"Y-you did…? I wasn't invited…"
He was suddenly sad. He reminded me of a little dog left
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out of playtime with his friends—although he's a little too
built for that image.
It was true, though, that when everyone came over to my
house in the summer to plan how to get Nakamura and
Izumi together, we left Takei out because we thought he'd
get in the way. I still think that was the right decision, but it
was a little mean.
"I'm sorry, Takei! We'll invite you next time!" Mimimi
said with a smile.
"P-promise!" he answered tearfully.
"There's nothing interesting even if you do come over."
"There's not?" Mimimi said. "I thought it was fun! Very
lively."
"Really…?"
I remembered that she said something like that when she
came over.
"Wh-what's it like…?" Takei asked, as if he could make up
for being left out that way. I didn't realize he missed us so
much. Or maybe his emotions were loosened up in the
aftermath of visiting Tama-chan's house.
"Uh, just…normal," I said.
"Well…his mother and sister were there, and they all
seemed like friends. That's why I said his family's similar to
Tama-chan's."
"Wow!" Takei said. I was actually interested to hear
someone else's perspective on my family.
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"Okay, I can see how we're close like friends, but I also
feel like they just don't take me seriously," I said jokingly.
Mimimi and Takei laughed.
"Ah-ha-ha! Farm Boy–style!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I shot back, then
explained that my dad had an ordinary company job, my
mom was a stay-at-home mom, and my sister was a firstyear student at our school.
"What?! She goes to our school?!"
Mimimi was surprised. I guess I hadn't told many people
that before. Izumi knew, but since my sister's in a lower
grade, Mimimi wouldn't know unless I told her.
"Yeah. Since we're so close in age, she's always bitching to
me about something or other."
"Ah-ha-ha, I can imagine that. They got really worked up
when we came over."
Mimimi smiled, like she was remembering the scene.
Takei seemed sad that he couldn't keep up with the
conversation, and he just said things like "R-really?" now
and then and stared at the two of us helplessly.
"And Tama-chan's family was so amazing, too! They're
even crazier than your family!"
"They are kind of unusual, the way her parents are always
there and always working."
They not only worked together but their workplace was
also their home. That doesn't happen too often.
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"It could get annoying for a teenager…but in a sense, I
think she's lucky."
"You might be right!"
As we talked, I started to wonder what Mimimi's and
Takei's homes were like. Now that I thought about it, I
realized neither of them had ever mentioned a word about it.
"What are you guys' families like?"
"Me?!" Takei yelped excitedly. The question was to both of
them, but maybe he'd been feeling left out.
"Oh, uh, yeah, what about you, Takei?"
He grinned when I said his name and started talking
about himself. "I've got four siblings!"
"What? Really?"
I'd partly asked just for the heck of it, but his answer was
more interesting than I expected. Five kids is fairly unusual
these days, right?
"Both my parents work, and I'm the youngest! And we're
all boys!"
"What? That's insane! Let's see…a one-in-thirty-two
chance, I think!"
"I really like being the youngest…"
I think Takei could only have turned out the way he did as
the youngest of five kids. He'd probably be the youngest
even if he had ninety-nine siblings.
"My oldest brother's already married and living in Tokyo,
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but the other three are close to my age, so they're still in
college. And all three of 'em still live at home!"
"T-talk about lively…"
I couldn't help smirking as I imagined it. At times, his
three brothers and his parents would all be in the house with
him. A nightmarish vision of four Takeis in a living room
together flashed across my mind, and I shook my head to
banish it.
"But that must be hard, sending five kids to university!"
"Yeah, true."
Mimimi had a good point. If every one of them went to
university, it would cost a fortune. And if they went to
private school, it'd be virtually impossible to pay for.
"Right! That's why I figure it's a public school or nothing
for me."
"Makes sense…"
"Man, our situation now really affects what we wanna do
after graduation, huh!" Mimimi said, and I realized she was
right.
The direction that emerges when you think about what to
do is a product of tuition fees, your parents' work, and even
the structure of your family.
"That definitely goes for Tama-chan!"
You might not be able to go to a private school, or like
Tama-chan, your family might want you to take over their
business.
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Or in some cases, you might be able to do whatever you
want, or you might be under tons of pressure to go to a good
school. You always hear about doctors' kids becoming
doctors and stuff like that.
Come to think of it, when I was taking entrance exams for
high school, my parents didn't say anything about wanting
me to go to a private school versus a public school. Sekitomo
High is private, so considering both my sister and I are able
to go there, we must be better off than a lot of people. I'd
never even thought about that before.
"Interesting…"
Talking about these things helped me think about my own
future. I'd invited everyone to hang out on the fly, but I
ended up getting a lot more out of it than I'd imagined.
In that spirit, I pushed along the conversation. Man was I
putting my skills to good use.
"What about you, Mimimi?"
"Oh, me? Well…" She paused, sounding just a little
uncertain what to say. "I'm an only child, and my mom
works, so usually, it's just me when I get home. Latchkey
kid, y'know?"
"Are you still a latchkey kid if you're in high school…?" I
joked, but her words hit home. In some families, like Tamachan's, the parents were always around, and in others, there
was a noisy pack of five kids. But some kids went home to an
empty house.
"My folks split up in middle school, so now I just live with
my mom."
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"Really?"
The casual admission caught me off guard. Did I ask
something I shouldn't have?
"Oh, it's totally fine! Everyone already knows! You knew,
right, Takei?"
"Yeah!"
"Y-you did?"
I felt a little better knowing that, but I couldn't shake the
sense of guilt anyway.
"What's that face for? I mean, divorce isn't even unusual
anymore! One in three couples in Japan get divorced!"
"I guess you're right…"
That would mean that around ten kids in our class had
divorced parents. Given that, it probably bugged Mimimi
more when people got awkward about it.
"Yeah!" Takei was backing me up. "And Takahiro's
parents split up."
"I heard that, too."
"Really?"
Another surprise. I wasn't sure it was okay to be hearing
this information secondhand, but given Mimimi's casual
reaction, I guess it was fine. Everything was so complicated.
As usual with Mizusawa.
"Well, it's like we saw with Tama and her cake shop!
Everyone's different. We've all got our own lives."
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"…True, true."
I nodded a few times at no one in particular, unsure what
to do with my emotions. I'd never thought about any of this
before, and the new realities were slowly taking root in my
brain.
"As they say, every person is different, and every family is
different."
"Yeah!" Takei said, clearly having recovered his good
spirits. Every family is different. Hmm.
When I thought about it like that, my family seemed
superordinary. In a sense, picture-perfect "ordinary
families" like mine might actually be the exception rather
than the rule.
"But I was wondering, Brain, why'd you ask Tama about
her family to start with? No one even knew they had a cake
shop!"
"Good question! So tell us, Farm Boy!"
"Well…"
It was hard to explain.
I could say that other people can say what they want, but
as a gamer, I've decided to take life seriously—but they'd
probably think I was weird. Another way to put it is that you
need goals in order to decide on your path in life, and I was
collecting information in order to create a goal. Which
meant…
…that if I translated it into gaming terminology…
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"I've told you this before, Mimimi, but I'm really trying to
figure out what to do with my life, right?"
"Uh-huh."
"So Takei just told us he's shooting for a public university
because of his family situation, and that'll affect whether he
lives on his own or not, too… What I mean is, when you're
thinking about this, a lot of issues come up that are related
to your family."
"I know what you mean!"
"Look at Tama-chan. Her future will probably be decided
by her family situation…so I figured that if I asked a bunch
of people their thoughts about the future and the factors that
play into it, I could pick up some tips for my own life," I said,
managing to summarize my thoughts into a form Mimimi
and Takei might understand.
"And that's why I asked Tama-chan about her family," I
added.
Mimimi nodded pensively.
"Ah-ha-ha. You really are serious, Tomozaki."
She giggled, then gazed kindly into my face. Wait, what
does that mean?
"Farm Boy's the shit! I haven't thought that much about
it…"
"Yeah, not surprised."
"I better think some more about this stuff."
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"No harm in that."
"Yeah!"
There we were, all talking about the future—about what
we wanted. About how to get there. About all the choices
facing us.
"But you're at least sure you're going to college, right?" I
asked Takei.
"…Uh…" He made an uncertain noise. "Hmmm…I'm
almost sure I'm going to college, but I kinda want to think
more about what to do after that, like you! You're kinda cool,
Farm Boy!"
"I—I am…?"
Yikes, I just let Takei make me feel shy. What a defeat.
"Yup, that's one of the Brain's good points. Pretty
annoying."
"Sh-shut up."
Even though Mimimi teased me a little, I felt shy about
the compliment that came before it. I'm so weak when it
came to compliments.
But this was interesting.
All three of us were unsure what we wanted to do with our
lives.
I remembered my assignment—and now I was
considering what I wanted even more strongly.
Well, then…
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I decided to make a suggestion.
"Hey, you guys…let's go out somewhere like this again!"
I was thinking about my assignment, but I was also taking
a step toward finding what I wanted.
I was sure that picking intentional choices would make
the game a whole lot more interesting.
"Go out where?"
"I love it! I'm in!"
Mimimi wanted more details, but good old Takei jumped
right on my vague invitation. Interesting how two up-foranything types reacted differently. Of course, as people, they
were basically polar opposites.
"Well, it's like, none of us have decided what we want to
do in life…so I was thinking…we could search for ourselves?"
"Brain, that sounds super shady."
"Sounds exciting to me!"
Once again, opinions were split. I didn't like that the one
on my side was always Takei.
Mimimi looked at the two of us and burst out laughing.
"Could be fun! Like a team that tries out different stuff
together?"
"Uh, yeah, basically!"
That was the general idea, and I wanted to say yes anyway
because she was getting more positive about it.
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"Okay, I'm in! Let's make a LINE group!"
"Nice!"
"Great idea!"
I pulled out my phone and opened up the LINE app. "…
Um, how do I do this…?"
"Never mind, I'll do it!"
So with Mimimi handling the details, the three of us
formed the Searching for Ourselves Alliance LINE group.
Next time, I'll learn how to do it myself.
"Great! Looking forward to our next field trip, guys!" I
said, making an effort to take the lead. Mimimi and Takei
echoed my sentiments. Now that I thought about it, I
realized that since both of them were so enthusiastic, they
could be the perfect pair for me to try out my leadership
skills with.
Hinami had said I had to lead three other people in an
outing, and considering we'd all gone to Tama-chan's house
because of my suggestion, I thereby completed my
assignment.
Of course, my main motivation was searching for what I
wanted to do in the future. The assignment was just a side
benefit.
* * *
Kitayono. From here on out, it was going to be just me
and Mimimi. I felt bad because of Kikuchi-san, but this was
one situation I couldn't do anything about.
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We were still talking about our future paths.
"I've thought about it even less than Takei! How
humiliating!" Mimimi said, pretending to be woefully
defeated.
"Ah-ha-ha. True, Takei did say he planned to go to a
public university. And you've got nothing so far!" I teased.
She made a pained sound.
"…I guess I better give it some serious thought, too."
"Yeah, I think so," I said casually.
She scratched her neck and smiled sadly. "I know… I can't
be so half-baked about everything."
"…What?"
The word everything bothered me, but she continued on
so smoothly that the flow washed away my next question.
"What do you feel unsure about, Tomozaki?"
"What do you mean?"
She paused for a second. "You said you're thinking about
what you want to do, but don't you have a few ideas at
least?"
"Oh…um…"
I did have some ideas, but they weren't solid enough to
put into words.
"I'm not sure. I want to pin it down more… When it comes
to games and stuff, I like to hit the lab hard before diving in
online."
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"What are you talking about, 'hit the lab'?"
She was confused by the gaming lingo I used instinctively.
I may be more "normal" these days, but I still have a habit of
using jargon.
"Oh, that's slang for training mode. Instead of fighting
someone else, you build your skills…"
"Ahh, got it."
"In fighting games, some people go right out and start
battling other players, but I always practice a lot first. It's
pointless unless I can do what I need to do. Fighting other
people is more like the test."
"That's so interesting!"
"So when it comes to university, first, I want to think
about what my abilities are and what I should try out there,
like I'm in training mode."
"Wow! What a Braintastic idea!"
Mimimi really accepted me for who I was. She was just
too good at this stuff. I couldn't let myself get used to this!
"Sorry for using weird slang," I said, apologizing
reflexively. Mimimi thumped my shoulder.
"Ah-ha-ha! You did confuse me for a second there…but I
kinda like hearing you talk like that!"
"Hey, that hurts!" I said. It really did hurt, but I also
wasn't sure how to react to what she'd just said. I wish she'd
stop saying stuff like that after everything. I'm a bottomtier character, you know.
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"Anyway, don't you have a general direction you want to
go in?"
"A general direction?"
"I mean like a video game company or something. You
started talking about gaming, so I thought that's what you
were going to say."
"Oh…I'm not sure."
A career related to gaming… She was right that I hadn't
ruled it out. Actually, I was considering it quite a bit.
But that usually did mean a job at a video game company,
like she said.
"If I do something gaming-related…I'd wanna be the one
playing them, not the one making them…"
"Playing them? Like a pro gamer or something?"
"Well…"
It was hard to say yes when she asked me directly. It
sounded like a total fantasy, and it wasn't like my heart was
set on it. I didn't even know all that much about the progaming world.
It wasn't the sort of career I could just lightly say I wanted
to pursue.
"I'm not sure. Honestly, I don't even understand myself at
this point."
"You don't…?"
I nodded. "What do I want to do? What do I like? …Okay,
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I do know what I like, but that doesn't mean I should choose
that as my career. I don't know if it's realistic or if I'd like
doing it as a job just because I like it as a hobby."
Mimimi listened to me very earnestly and finally nodded.
"Hmm. I don't know those things, either. What do I want to
be? What do I want to do? I don't even really know what I
like…although I do know who I like. "
"Uhhh?"
I was rendered completely incoherent by her bombshell
announcement.
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"Just kidding! Come on, Brain! You've got Kikuchi-san
now—don't let a little something like that throw you off!"
She thumped my shoulder again. About three times as hard
as the last one.
"Owww!!"
"Ah-ha-ha! Anyway, let's find ourselves, Brain!"
"Uh, okay?"
Landing a final blow on my shoulder, she disappeared
down the street.
"Wh-what just happened…?"
I was left alone, my shoulder throbbing from her assault.
My emotions were smarting, too.
Don't worry, Kikuchi-san. You're the only one for me.
* * *
That night, I was looking at Twitter…
"…What the hell?!"
…when I suddenly leaped out of my chair.
A few days had passed since I created an account as
nanashi. After telling Kikuchi-san about it, I'd told Harrysan, Max-san, and Rena-chan using the LINE accounts they
gave me. They all retweeted my account, and in the space of
a couple of days, I had five hundred or so followers. That
was fine.
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After that, I followed the people I met at the meetup and
replied to some of their posts about Atafami and stuff. That
was fine, too.
The problem was a reply from Rena-chan posted an hour
or so earlier.
You're so mean, Fumiya-kun.
Even I couldn't make her stop using that intimate tone,
but she'd used my real name. Honestly speaking, I wasn't
dead set on keeping it secret, but it made my blood run cold
to have it leaked like this. And it was in response to one of
my random tweets like But I can't go easy on people on an
Atafami thread.
An hour had passed, so some people might have already
seen it, but I figured I should try to do something anyway. I
sent Rena-chan a LINE message.
[You used my real name on Twitter!]
The "read" check mark popped up immediately, and she
wrote this in response:
[Oh, I'm so sorry! I'll erase it right away!]
I checked Twitter and saw that the reply in question was
gone. She seemed to have dealt with it.
[I erased it!]
[Thanks! I saw!]
She read that message immediately, too, and since there
were no more messages for a few minutes, I figured the
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conversation was over. But ten or fifteen minutes after that,
she sent another message.
[I'm sorry! You told Harry-san, too, so I thought you
didn't care that much… Are you mad at me?]
She seemed pretty upset, so I decided to not make a big
deal about it. Like she said, I didn't care all that much.
[I'm not mad! Anyway, it's just a reply, so hopefully, not
many people saw it!]
[I'm so sorry! I'll apologize for real next time I see you.]
[Sure! But really, no worries!]
After that, she didn't write anything else. It wasn't a
totally unnatural place to cut off the conversation, but it was
slightly weird.
Then again, in this game of life, the more you expanded
your scope of activity, the more unexpected and surprising
things happened. In a sense, this was just more EXP.
With those thoughts on my mind, I set my phone on my
bed.
* * *
The next morning…
"Really? Well then, I suppose you passed."
"Yesss."
When I told Hinami I'd suggested the four of us go to
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Tama-chan's house the day before, she signed off on my
assignment. I told her about the Twitter incident, too, but
she didn't seem very interested. Which reminds me, I think
the only social media account she has is the Instagram under
her own name.
"Actually, I've never been to her house, either. So
Hanabi's family runs a cake shop?"
"Seems that way."
I nodded and gave her a rundown on what it was like,
Tama-chan's relationship with her family, the sweets she'd
made, and the bags of cookies her mom had given us when
we left. At that part of the story, Hinami's eyes took on a
different shade.
"What? No fair! What about mine?"
"You don't get any!"
"Hey…"
Hinami gazed out the window mournfully. I'm sure part
of it was a silly act, but I'm also fairly sure she genuinely
wanted to some. After all, she's crazy for good food,
especially cheese, and she's also crazy about Tama-chan.
"Anyway, it sounds like the assignment went well. Bonus
points for making a LINE chat. When a group forms, it's
important to set it up so it's easy to stay connected."
"Oh…yeah, I will be able to get in touch with everyone
quickly."
"Exactly. But it's still too early to call it 'the Tomozaki
Group,' so you're a long way from your mid-term goal.