"Gwuh?!"
The bald general was blasted backward by Kohaku's shockwave. Part of me
started to think that Zadonia and Dauburn could probably get along really well;
they were shockingly similar.
"You little brat! How dare you speak ill of my great country!"
The king of Zadonia was as thin as a beanpole, which made him largely
unintimidating despite his yelling. He had white hair, an equally white
mustache-and-beard, and wore a silver rapier about his waist. A bulky cape
flowed down his back, embroidered with fine blue and silver threads. The
prince of Zadonia, Frost, sat by his side with a frown on his face. He was a paleskinned young man who wore the same cape as his father. He had silvery hair
and piercing almond eyes. Honestly, he was the very vision of a fairytale
prince... in all the ways the pumpkin-pants prince of Panaches was not.
Prince Frost, incidentally, had been the one to guide us to the meeting room.
He was quite the friendly young lad, and warmly shook Prince Hakim's hand
upon learning his identity. The friendly gesture had certainly shocked General
Glenn.
I asked him about his surprising friendliness on the way to meet his father,
and he explained that he felt similarly to Prince Hakim, and wanted to end the
war that had plagued their nations for hundreds of years. But no matter how
many times he advised his father to bring the war to an end, he never listened.
Apparently, the king just yelled at him about it and ended the conversation.
That was why I could understand the frown he wore at the moment. After all,
one of their generals had just tried to charge at me, even though I was a
friendly envoy from another country. His father hadn't done anything to calm
the situation down, either. I'd be ashamed, too.
"Father! Don't you see? We must make peace with Dauburn! Surely you must
know that only the elderly nobles care about maintaining the grudges at this
point. Our people are going hungry, they freeze to death in their homes, and for
what? Our pride? Even if we conquer Dauburn, Zadonia will end up dying
anyway!"
"Enough, son! Do you hear yourself? Where's your Zadonian pride, eh? Our
ancestors would be ashamed of you, lad! No backbone to speak of!"
"But if the grand duke is speaking the truth, then all of this is the fault of
those ancestors to begin with! I'm ashamed of you, Father! For letting our
people suffer for your pride!"
"You foolish child! To think you'd be so easily swayed by seditious materials!"
...Damn, they sure are arguing a lot here. There's nothing seditious about
what I said at all!
The king of Zadonia, much like the king of Dauburn, had a very short temper.
He'd grabbed his son by the collar and looked like he was about to punch him.
The son clearly had a similar temperament. He was glaring at his father as if to
goad him into punching. I didn't really feel it was my place to butt in, but I
didn't want to see anyone getting hurt on my account.
"[Teleport]."
"Whah?!"
The king's punch met with thin air, causing him to stumble forward after his
son vanished. Prince Frost was equally confused, having been warped to my
side in an instant.
[Teleport] wasn't supposed to be a spell that could affect things other than
the caster, but I'd recently developed the ability to use it on objects and people
in my line of sight, so long as they weren't moving too quickly. This power was
also somewhat limited, however. I could only move one thing at a time and I
couldn't move them very far. The power had likely come from my awakening as
a proper god, or at least that was the only thing I could think of as the cause.
"Looks like Zadonia's a lost cause, too. Can't say I'm surprised, though."
"M-Maybe there's still a chance?"
The holy king tried to cheer me up, but I could sense the defeat in his tone.
"There's not much to be done here. The kings clearly don't care all that much
about their ancestry. They're just using it as an excuse to justify their personal
grudges. It's probably because they've been in constant conflict since they were
young men."
Personally, I'd have appreciated it if they just beat each other up one-on-one
rather than keeping their entire countries at war. The hate they had for each
other clearly ran deep, though. It was pretty obvious that neither wanted to
stop until the other was utterly crushed... From what I'd heard in idle hearsay,
the skirmishes between Dauburn and Zadonia had increased ever since the two
men took their respective thrones.
Zadonia and Dauburn had many historical conflicts, but there were also
periods of ceasefires or even something similar to neutrality between the two.
During these periods, there was a tense kind of peace, and while no actual
treaties were signed, it was clear the rulers back then hadn't wanted to
maintain war while their own citizens suffered.
However, these guys didn't care about what happened to their people; it was
a total mess. They were like a cat and a dog.
"They're a little like Kohaku and Luli, actually..."
"Please do not compare me to this..."
Kohaku sent me a telepathic protest when I muttered my thoughts. I felt bad,
but I wasn't exactly wrong. Either way, the king of Zadonia was in the middle of
a fit, so I couldn't see him talking to us any time soon. That was why I decided
to do the next best thing.
"Hey. Prince Hakim, Prince Frost. Would you two like to discuss the future of
your countries with me? I'll set a venue for us to talk."
The two princes glanced at me, then each other, and they nodded.
"We'd love to!" the two replied in unison. With that, I decided my business in
Zadonia was concluded. Plus, I was starting to get annoyed at the Zadonian
soldiers and Gollems bashing on the sides of the [Prison] I'd erected. They were
noisy as hell.
"Hold it! Just what do you intend to do with my boy, hm? Sell him out to
Dauburn?!"
"Father, you're clearly incapable of forming proper sentences right now. If
you won't look to the future for this country, then I will in your stead."
"Silence, you selfish little whelp! You'd do well to keep quiet and do as I
command!"
"Shut up, old man! You gotta quit treating me like a little boy!"
The duo started bickering again. I definitely felt for the prince, but I also
understood the king's perspective. His son would always, at least a little bit, be
his little boy in his eyes.
"The time for talking is clearly over. Grand Duke, Holy King, take me with
you!"
Prince Frost grumpily turned around and headed out the door. He clearly had
a short fuse, too... Like father, like son.
"Coldie, you can accompany us."
"Aye."
Prince Frost nodded as he spoke to a man in silvery-blue armor. The man
bowed his head and followed after the prince. He was the prince's personal
knight, Coldie. He'd been with the prince when he guided us to the meeting
room. He didn't speak very much and seemed to be in his forties. He gave off
the vibe of a calm old man, but according to General Glenn, he was a brutal
swordsman known as Zadonia's Shiverblade. He certainly seemed to care more
about the prince than the king, though.
We all left the meeting room. I didn't want anyone chasing after us, so I
released the [Prison] I'd cast and created a new one with an expanded range. It
covered the whole room we'd just left, preventing them from following us out.
The spell was certainly one of my most versatile, I loved using it both to keep
enemies out and to keep enemies trapped inside it. I'd set it to disappear after
ten minutes, but I had a feeling the Gollems and soldiers would continue
banging up against it until it eventually deactivated.
As we walked, Prince Hakim started speaking to Prince Frost.
"Er... Is it alright to leave your father in that state?"
"It is, yes. My father bases his every action on his hatred for your father. I
refuse to have any part in it, not when it's bringing my people to ruin."
Prince Frost's words caused Prince Hakim to react with a small laugh.
"...Did I say something funny?" Prince Frost narrowed his eyes slightly, clearly
somewhat irked by the strange response.
"No, my apologies. It's just that I felt a close connection to you just now. My
own father is driven solely by his hatred of yours, so I feel similarly to you."
"I suppose you're right... We've both endured difficult circumstances, then."
Frost smiled back at Hakim. I was glad to see that the sons of two bitter foes
could still smile with each other. Still, it wasn't like I could just delay ending the
war until the current kings died.
When we returned to our Gollem carriages, the holy king pulled me aside to
ask a question.
"You said you'd be establishing a venue for them. Would that be Brunhild?"
"Yeah, seems the easiest place for it. Neither Dauburn nor Zadonia would be
able to get to us all the way there. Plus, I can open up the game room for them,
give them a chance to bond, and all that."
"In that case, Grand Duke... I'd like to impose on you a little with a request..."
Holy King Allent leaned over and whispered what he wanted into my ear. I
was a little taken aback by how petty his request seemed in the grand scheme
of things, but I didn't say anything. Sometimes being a world leader meant
tolerating silliness from others.
◇ ◇ ◇
"Goodness, the cookies are delicious! Aria, you must try them!"
"Don't talk with your mouth full, Leti... Ah, they are quite nice, though..."
Two sisters sat side by side with big smiles on their faces. They were chowing
down on Lu's homemade cookies. These girls were Ariattie Tis Allent and Leticia
Tis Allent, the granddaughters of Allent's holy king. Ariattie was eighteen, while
her younger sister Leticia was seventeen. They were daughters of Allent's
crown prince, the holy king's son.
Aria wore a light green dress and had wavy golden hair. She had a gentle
demeanor about her that made it easy to relax. As I watched her, my gaze fell
to the magnificent pearl necklace around her neck. And then my gaze dropped
again to the even more magnificent things beneath it... They were huge. I
quickly corrected my gaze, however. Elze and the others were with me and I
didn't want to get beaten up. Leti, whose assets were lacking in comparison to
her sister, had golden hair in a short cut. She was the picture of youthful vigor.
Her dress was a light pink, but it was cut shorter to allow for ease of movement.
Unlike her sister, Leti was constantly asking questions and seemed to have no
shortage of energy.
What the holy king had whispered into my ear was a request. He wanted me
to bring these girls along to Brunhild with the two princes. Apparently, the holy
king had made the girls quite curious about Brunhild's facilities and culture the
last time he'd come home from one of our League of Nations meetings. Since
they'd asked him about it so much, he saw the perfect opportunity to send
them over. Though there was another motive at play as well, so it wasn't just to
sate the girls' interests. To put it bluntly, neither Prince Hakim nor Prince Frost
were engaged to be married. They were engaged to some noble girls at one
point, but they ended up breaking it off as they were angry with their respective
fathers for deciding the engagement without their consent. It must have been
rough growing up with fathers like that; I certainly wouldn't have been able to
stomach it.
"Princess Ariattie, please try the cream soda."
"Oh my! It's so sweet yet refreshing!"
"Princess Leticia, just what is this?"
"Oh umm... It's called chocolate, I think? It's a little bit bitter, but it's super
yummy!"
The four of them were seated around a small table, each trying out the array
of snacks that had been placed before them. I was happy to see they were
getting along well.
I was seated at a different table, enjoying a nice cup of tea with the holy king.
He was certainly content with the situation.
"...Y'know, I kind of feel like this situation turned out pretty heavily to your
benefit."
"Hoho... Even if that is so, it's not a bad thing, is it? Assuming this works out,
the relationship woes between Dauburn, Zadonia, and my own country will be
solved in a single sweeping motion."
I'd underestimated how cunning this old bastard could be. It was true that
this would be helpful from a political aspect, but I didn't feel comfortable
matching up people who may not necessarily get along.
"Prince Frost looks rather infatuated with Princess Ariattie..."
"Aye, and Prince Hakim seems smitten with Princess Leticia. Been a while
since I've seen the lad this happy."
Glenn, along with Coldie, sat on either side of the holy king as they spoke and
sipped their tea. I was just glad that they hadn't decided to pursue the same
girl, since that would've been an absolute nightmare if this had turned into
some kind of twisted love triangle situation.
"Oh my... This is quite the situation, you know? It's not love at first sight, but
there's certainly a seed of love being planted, you know? With the way things
are going, I could see them warming up..."
"Tsk... Of course you'd show up..."
I groaned slightly as I heard Karen's ever-familiar voice. My eyes shifted to the
side slightly, meeting with her grinning face.
Of course she'd show up when there's a love talk going on... Like a cat to
catnip or a moth to a flame, that's her all over. Geez.
"I'm neither cat nor moth, you know?!"
"Yeowch!"
Karen had brought a fierce karate chop down upon my head, which could
have been avoided if she hadn't been reading my mind without permission!
I clutched my head in pain, but Karen had already started walking towards the
young lovebirds. It seemed like she'd found her targets and wasn't about to let
go. If Karen got involved in your relationship, then it wasn't going to end at a
fling. They'd either fall head over heels or separate entirely, there was no other
option. But I didn't mind; Karen generally knew what she was doing. I turned to
the Holy King with a burning question.
"Even if this works out with the princes, what about their fathers?"
"Well, ideally we could have the princes ascend the thrones, but that's easier
said than done..."
He was definitely right about that. I didn't think the kings would be eager to
relinquish their thrones to their sons this early. In the worst case, we'd just have
to wait until they died, but it was entirely possible they'd disown the princes by
then. As I grumbled my concerns, the Holy King continued speaking.
"I do not believe that Dauburn or Zadonia would disown their sons, as they
are the sole remaining heirs... However, we can't discount the potential of it
happening. There have been many cases in the past in which kings have
disowned their children and selected a successor from outside the bloodline."
Personally, I hoped the kings wouldn't be stupid enough to do that, but they
didn't exactly seem like the most level-headed of men.
"Well, maybe we could figure out a way for the princes to gain more power
and, oh, uh... I guess it's not really appropriate to talk about this in front of
Glenn and Coldie, huh?"
"Nay, Grand Duke. I support the prince and believe he can do better for the
people of Dauburn. The only ones who wish to maintain the war with Zadonia
are the old folks in the nobility. The regular nobles and the commonfolk want to
put an end to the fighting already. A lot of people get radicalized in their youth
to fight for their country, but as they get older their rage is directed toward the
nation that keeps forcing them to fight. Plenty of people have been fleeing the
country for Allent, too... It's a mess."
Glenn certainly didn't mince words, but I could see the sadness in his eyes as
he looked down at his teacup.
Coldie nodded slowly and spoke up as well.
"I feel the same about Zadonia. Even if we won the war, we wouldn't be able
to handle Dauburn's land. Most people don't care about the war, either. If we
look at Allent, we see a land with fair weather and fertile farmland. It's only
natural we'd lose so many people to migration for greener pastures."
"Honestly, the migrants from your countries cause my nation no end of
trouble. We'd love to gladly welcome them, but we do not have the resources
to house and feed them all. Many have become bandits in our mountainous
regions as a result. It has been quite the trouble for our people, and it has only
gotten worse since the ascent of the current two kings."
I understood the holy king's anguish. From his perspective, it'd probably be
better if Dauburn and Zadonia just collapsed. Though if that happened, there'd
be a huge flood of refugees flowing into Allent, and he probably didn't want
that, either.
"So basically you're saying the commonfolk of either country would be happy
to lose their kings?"
"As someone born to commonfolk, I would be happy to see Prince Hakim in
power."
"As someone who sees the plight of the commonfolk, I would endorse Prince
Frost's immediate succession."
Glenn spoke a little more vaguely, but Coldie seemed resolute. At the rate
things were going, I feared maybe a coup was on the horizon. A forced
succession through military action would only cause more long-term suffering. I
wasn't sure what to do at all.
I looked at the budding young couples talking to Karen and let out a small
sigh. If only the kings of Zadonia and Dauburn could become that friendly.
"Maybe I really do need to kidnap them and use the suspension bridge
effect..."
"I'm not sure that sounds like a very good idea, whatever it is..."
The holy king sounded a little frightened by my muttering, but I decided to
ignore him.
I'll get Doc Babylon to help me prepare for it... I'm sure there are some tools in
the storehouse, hehe... Yeah, I'm getting a pretty good idea, now... Hehe... This
is gonna work for sure...
"Touya-dono is making his frightening face again, he is..."
"Yep, that's Touya for you."
"I'm getting rather used to this..."
I heard Yae, Elze, and Hilde commenting from the nearby table, but I paid no
heed. The two kings had been quite rude to me during my first meeting with
them, so I felt it was only fair to help give them a little perspective.
◇ ◇ ◇
Jaharade Bier Dauburn woke up in a white room. He didn't recognize his
surroundings, and could only really notice a dim light source from the ceiling.
He wracked his brain to figure out how he could have arrived here. All he
remembered was angrily downing some cheap booze and passing out. Now he
was here.
"What is this?!"
The room was arranged as a perfect cube, and it had only a single door. But
the door had no handle, and it wouldn't budge no matter how hard he pushed
against it. He wondered perhaps if the door had a sliding mechanism, but that
yielded no result either.
He was trapped like a rat. The moment the King of Dauburn realized this, he
immediately jumped to the baseless conclusion that Zadonia had done this to
him. After all, Zadonia was the sworn enemy of Dauburn. That Mochizuki brat
could wield unusual magic, he did not doubt that Zadonia and the boy had
conspired to capture him. They'd killed his boy, and now they were going to kill
him. The fury and anguish bubbled up in the man, so he started to violently kick
the doorframe.
"Bastard! Release me! You'd imprison a man while he's unconscious?! Fight
me like a real man!"
Despite his screeching and hollering, no reply came. He walked to the other
side of the room and charged towards the door, slamming his full weight into it.
It didn't budge an inch.
"Shit, damn it! You dare make a fool of me?!"
His breath grew ragged and uneasy, but the door didn't open. King Dauburn
stepped back and looked around the cubic room. He suddenly noticed a square
button on the floor in one of the corners. He then noticed three other buttons
in the other corners.
He stepped on one of the buttons. Nothing happened. He stepped on the
other buttons, and tried to work out some kind of sequence. Nothing
happened.
He paced around the room until he was exhausted, and eventually he simply
sat down on the floor. But the moment he sat down, the floor began to rumble
and vibrate. The wall to the left of the door began to sink down into the ground,
showing him what was on the other side. When the rumbling subsided, he saw
another white room past the wall. It was identical to the one he was in; they'd
been placed side by side with only the wall diving them. His eyes widened in
anger when he saw the man in that room. The man in that room's eyes widened
in anger as well. They were both seated in their respective rooms, apparently
having performed the exact same actions.
"You bastard!" King Dauburn snarled, scrambling to his feet.
The man he saw was his worst enemy, after all. Junas Lem Zadonia.
King Zadonia also snarled and scrambled to his feet, muttering something
inaudible as he pointed. King Dauburn knew that he was being insulted, so he
balled up his fists and charged toward his hated foe. King Zadonia did the exact
same thing, charging full-pelt towards his lifelong enemy. Neither of them
stopped to consider why they couldn't hear the other. Until it happened.
"Hngh?!"
"Gngh?!"
The two men slammed full-speed into the reinforced glass that divided their
rooms. They ended up hurting themselves pretty badly as a result.
"Ghhh..."
"Hnnn..."
Both men rolled around on the floor, squirming in pain as they clutched their
wounded faces. The entire scene was being watched by a few unimpressed
individuals, hidden from sight.
◇ ◇ ◇
"...Touya, do these men have brain damage?"
"If they didn't before, they probably do now."
Doc Babylon and I were huddled around a monitor watching the whole mess
play out. She was completely exasperated by their stupidity, and it hadn't even
been ten minutes.
Once the men recovered from their injuries, they started to hurl insults at
each other from behind the glass. Apparently they didn't care that neither could
hear the other.
"You utter bastard! How low must you have sunk?! Too scared to beat me in a
fair fight so you had that brat capture me, eh?!"
"You utter bastard! How low must you have sunk?! Too scared to beat me in a
fair fight so you had that brat capture me, eh?!"
"You miserable lout! You couldn't rely on your own strength so you had to use
that backwater brat's power instead?! Pathetic!"
"You miserable lout! You couldn't rely on your own strength so you had to use
that backwater brat's power instead?! Pathetic!"
"No wonder Zadonia's falling to ruin with a man as petty as you at its head!"
"No wonder Dauburn's falling to ruin with a man as petty as you at its head!"
Part of me wondered if these guys were secretly twins or something because
their insults were in perfect sync.
"Touya, I'm starting to think we'd have a better chance at getting dogs to
ballroom dance than getting these idiots to work together."
"Well, a cornered dog might end up working alongside a cat if the situation
calls for it. Let's watch them and see how it pans out."
I grinned slightly at the two men, who apparently weren't done bitching at
each other.
◇ ◇ ◇
It had been an hour since King Dauburn had started yelling at his sworn
enemy, but his throat was drying out and he was starting to realize the futility
of his situation. He realized that no matter how hard he yelled, there wasn't
much point in it if the other man couldn't actually hear it. But seeing King
Zadonia yelling inaudibly at him caused his frustrations to surge.
King Dauburn started to actually take stock of the situation. His enemy looked
as though he was imprisoned as well. Could it be that he'd been kidnapped,
too? Could he not be the perpetrator of this act?
Just as doubt began to settle in King Dauburn's mind, he noticed that one of
the four corner buttons in his room had started to blink. He raised a brow in
surprise and moved to step on it. Nothing happened. It blinked again, so he
repeated the motion. Once again, nothing happened. He looked over to King
Zadonia's room through the glass, seeing that his foe was staring at his own
blinking button in the corner of his room.
King Zadonia moved to step on it. Nothing happened. Much like King
Dauburn, he tried again, to no avail.
King Dauburn felt a competitive nature rise up in him as he saw King Zadonia
stepping on the button, so he started to step on his own as well. When the two
of them stepped on the button at the same time, the doors in their respective
rooms slowly rose up around ten centimeters.
"Oho?!"
King Dauburn dashed over to his door, trying to pull it upward with all his
might. It didn't budge.
"Hgh... Ngh... Ghhh!"
He spent several minutes wrestling with the door, but it seemed to be an
impossible task. He glanced to the side and noticed King Zadonia straining
against his own door.
"Pfft. What a fool, he's just wasting his strength!" King Dauburn sneered as he
spoke, completely ignorant of the fact he was describing himself only a few
minutes ago.
King Zadonia noticed something, turning away from the door. King Dauburn
suspiciously tracked his enemy's movements and saw that another button was
blinking in the other room. King Dauburn turned around, wondering if the same
had happened in his own cell. Sure enough, one of his buttons was blinking. He
moved to step on the button right away. Nothing happened. He tried a few
more times, and the door eventually moved up again. He looked over and saw
King Zadonia stepping at the same time as him.
"Hoh... Does the door only move upward when we both step at the same
time?"
The next button in both rooms began blinking, inviting the kings to take their
next step. The two kings glared at one another, but clearly they had the same
idea despite the glass blocking their voices. They stepped on the next button at
the same time. The doors moved up again, just a little bit. The two of them had
proven their theory, so they moved to step on the final button at the same
time.
A rumbling rang out as both doors opened fully.
"Tsk... His opened, too? That's annoying..."
King Dauburn wasn't super happy about the idea of helping his sworn enemy.
At the same time, King Zadonia was doing the exact same thing in his own
room.
King Dauburn's door led to a long hallway that stretched out a long way. He
kept up his guard as he proceeded down the hall, and eventually found himself
at a staircase leading upward. The king noticed light emanating from above, and
it was clearly from a natural source. He'd clearly been confined underground,
but now he had a way out. He charged up the stairs and found himself
emerging on a sandy shore. A shining sea stretched out far along the horizon.
Wherever King Dauburn was, it was neither his nation nor Zadonia.
"...Just where is this place?" muttered the king, but he suddenly turned in
shock as he realized another man had said the exact same sentence. It was King
Zadonia.
"Bastard!"
"You fiend!"
Each man grabbed the other by the scruff of the neck, then they both flung
out a punch. They fell to the sand, taking turns clambering over each other to
punch each other in the face. They snarled and growled like wild animals,
completely lost in the throes of fury.
"Return my son, you spineless coward!"
"Your son?! Why don't you return mine, you filthy thief?!"
"Your country's filled with thieves, maybe look at yourself before criticizing
me!"
"Shut the hell up, your people are all liars!"
The two men continued screeching at each other, jabbing each other over and
over again. Their actions were grisly and boisterous, something you wouldn't
expect from royalty.
"W-Wait, hold on!"
"Shut it! You think I'll hear you out after all this?!"
"No, really! Look over there!" King Zadonia yelled out through bruised and
swollen lips, pointing behind the equally battered King Dauburn.
"You think I'd fall for that?!"
"Hngh!"
King Dauburn shot his right fist forward, bowling the other man over with a
clean hit. As King Zadonia tumbled backward, King Dauburn turned around and
saw the grand duke of Brunhild sitting on the beach. He was casually lounging
beneath a parasol. Donning a pair of sunglasses and holding a tropical drink in
his hand, the man was the very picture of peace. He was wearing a Hawaiian
shirt, though neither of the kings would know that. There was a little white tiger
cub by his side.
"Wh—?!"
"That's... what I was trying to point out!"
"Ghugh?!"
King Zadonia had come back in full force with a heavy dropkick to his enemy's
back. King Dauburn staggered forward and fell face-first into the sand.
"Pretty pathetic, aren't they, Kohaku? They sure ain't very kingly."
"Right you are, my liege."
"Don't talk about me that way!" screamed both kings in unison as they
charged toward the sneering grand duke.
But a creaking sound rang out, and the two men collapsed into a dug-out
sandpit. They'd fallen for a completely basic pitfall trap. Even though it was only
a simple mechanism formed of a dug-out area and some weak plywood boards,
they'd charged headlong into it. They weren't hurt by the fall as the pit was only
two meters deep, and the bottom had been padded with slime cushions. The
sand on the sides had also been packed properly, so it wouldn't cave in.
"If you fail to look at the situation around you, it'll end up biting you in the
ass, fellas. Though I'd say your asses are plenty bitten at this point, right?"
"You little twerp! Who do you think you're messing with?!"
"Don't you dare talk ill! Who are you to trap and make a fool of me?! What
are you after?!"
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
The grand duke flashed a cruel grin and disappeared. Unbeknownst to the
two, he'd shown up to direct their hostility toward a third party instead of each
other, but he was clearly having fun jerking them around.
The two kings started clambering out of the pit, but it took them far longer
than it should have. Why? Because whenever one man got a little further than
the other, he was pulled down by his resentful foe. The men finally escaped, but
covered in sand and muck.
"Gah... That little twerp has to be a demon!"
"W-Wait, what's with the rumbling?!"
King Zadonia growled, but King Dauburn had picked up on the fact that the
ground had been shaking every so often. He turned around and saw a terrifying
sight. A massive, monstrous turtle with a black serpent coiled around it.
"GRAAAAAARRRGH!" The two men screamed as one, jumped up to their feet,
and started running away with snot dribbling down their noses. The giant
tortoise kept hot on their tails, stomping ahead as if to crush them. It was slow,
but it took great strides, so unless they ran full-pelt they'd be caught by the
beast. Desperate for their lives, the two men dashed as hard as they could.
"Our master certainly works us hard, doesn't he?"
"He sssaid he'll give usss a deliciousss feassst later on, ssso let'sss jussst grin
and bear it for now."
"Fair point. I'm looking forward to that tasty shortcake..."
"I'll be sssavoring the deliciousss pudding."
Sango and Kokuyou continued charging after the kings, maintaining just
enough speed to never actually catch up with them. Ideally, they hoped, the
two kings would run out of energy with which they could hit each other.
"J-Just where... are we...?" King Dauburn, finally spent of all energy, fell to the
sunset-dyed sands with his arms spread out. King Zadonia, wheezing and
groaning next to him, begrudgingly spoke up in response.
"How would I know...?"
"I wasn't... asking... you!"
"You wanna... Fight?! You bast... Hh..."
The two of them rose up slightly to glare at one another, but they fell flat on
their backs in no time at all. They were well and truly out of energy.
"I'm so hungry..."
The two muttered the exact same thing, causing them to scowl at each other.
After a short pause, they simply looked away and grumbled.
Eventually, they found themselves more sleepy than hungry, and the two
promptly passed out. Normally they wouldn't do something so reckless as
falling asleep near a hated foe, but a little bit of sleeping magic happened to
make its way over their heads. The snoring men were approached by a young
man and a tiger cub.
"They certainly dozed off fast."
"People from the reverse world have a lower magical resistance, that's all.
Anyway, let's get started on phase two of the plan."
Touya took out two sets of shackles and chains from his [Storage], and quietly
sang to himself as he clasped them around the ankles of the unconscious men.
"...You seem to be having fun, my liege."
"Who, me? Not at all... This is all to help them become better friends. There's
no way I'd be enjoying this, Kohaku. No way in the least. Maaan, it sure is tough
being a villain, haha."
Touya dismissed the words of his animal companion and began to focus his
magical energy on the two men.
"Brand, o Dark. Sinful Brand: [Guilty Curse]."
He'd applied special curse magic to them, though perhaps calling it that was a
little bit too villainous. In this case, it was simply a way to curb their behavior.
This spell could do all manner of things to people if they broke the taboo placed
upon them. It could even rob someone of their life if used the wrong way. As
such, this magic was considered forbidden by any civilized nation.
"Are you sure you aren't going too far?"
"I'm sure it'll be fine. This is all setup, after all. It'll pay off."
The grand duke grinned wide, though his words did little to ease the tiger's
anxiety.
◇ ◇ ◇
King Dauburn felt the shifting sands beneath him as he woke, proving that the
previous day's events weren't just a bad dream. As he tried to stand up, still
weak from his earlier exercise, he noticed a strange metallic jingling sound from
his right ankle.
"What in the world...?"
His right ankle had been shackled and tied to a fifty-centimeter chain.
Attached to the other end of the chain was another shackle, one clasped
around the left ankle of the still-sleeping King Zadonia.
"Mmmh...?"
King Dauburn yanked on the chain, wiggling King Zadonia's leg and causing
him to stir from slumber. The man awoke to the sight of his hated enemy, and
he immediately noticed he was clasped in irons. King Zadonia wearily scrambled
to his feet, casting a scowl over at his foe.
"What happened here?!"
"How would I know?!"
The two of them snarled, each man gripping the other by the scruff of his
collar. Thankfully, they weren't actually stupid enough to believe the other man
was responsible for this particular incident. They just wanted to vent out their
frustrations.
"Does this mean I have to stay by your side?! I'd rather spend a full day
vomiting!"
"I feel the same! But if you're so repulsed, then go drown yourself!"
"How about you drown yourself?!"
The men started yelling, gradually escalating the situation until they began
wrestling again. King Dauburn got the upper hand, straddling King Zadonia and
raising his fist. He brought a punch crashing down towards the other man's
cheek, and... Found himself tumbling backward as if struck by some invisible
force.
"GWUH?!"
King Zadonia was equally confused by this sudden turn of events, but he saw
an opportunity to inflict some pain. He pulled back his unchained leg, ready to
deliver a nasty kick to the broader man's belly.
"Hngh?!"
But, just as King Zadonia's foot made contact with King Dauburn's soft
tummy... King Zadonia clutched at his own stomach and fell to his knees. He
was assaulted by a strange sensation as if he'd just been kicked very hard.
"Urgh..." King Dauburn slowly stood up again, looking at his hunched-over
foe. Gradually, the dots began to connect in his head, but he needed to be
certain. He gave King Zadonia's back a swift kick, only for an invisible force to
strike him in the back instead. He fell face-forwards into the sand.
"Ouch..."
This was all the proof he needed. He didn't know why, but any damage taken
by King Zadonia would instead be felt by him. He saw the skinnier man charging
toward him, fists balled up, and quickly tried to raise his hand in an attempt to
make him stop.
"Wait! Wait! If you hit me, you'll be hurting yourself!"
"I don't believe your nonsense, you— BWAUGH!"
King Zadonia performed a roundhouse kick, striking King Dauburn square on
the neck. The moment the strike landed, King Zadonia was roughly knocked
sideways.
"Idiot. I was trying to do you a favor."
"Hrgh... Just what is this?!"
"Can't say for sure, but that brat must be responsible for this. If I hit you, it
hurts me! If you hit me, it hurts you! That little brat and his weird magic must
be responsible for this!"
King Dauburn gently prodded at his own cheeks; he felt it just fine, but King
Zadonia didn't. Therefore, there had to be rules. The sensation might have only
been transferred if it caused pain beyond a certain threshold.
King Dauburn suddenly smacked himself clear in the cheek, eager to test his
theory. It still hurt him. He looked over and saw King Zadonia clutching at his
own face, wincing in pain.
"B-Bastard! What was that for?!"
"Relax, you baby. It was just a little test. Interesting, though... Even selfinflicted pain is transmitted over to— OW!"
King Dauburn's right arm suddenly started to sting really badly. When he
glanced over to see the cause, he saw King Zadonia pinching himself in the arm.
"So the pain really is sent over, interesting... Or is it more apt to say that our
senses of pain have been— AUGH!"
King Dauburn slapped himself on the cheek, knocking the wind out of King
Zadonia's sails.
"Why?!"
"Silence! This is just retaliation for what you did to me!"
"You started it, asshole!"
The two men scrambled, fists at the ready. However... they stopped just short
of actually hitting each other. They jumped back and instead opted to punch
themselves in the nose. They both screamed out, assaulted by the dual impact
of their own punches and their enemy's punches at the same time. They fell
down to the sands, but immediately got back up and began punching
themselves in the stomach.
"Bastard! Bastaaard!"
"You stupid asshole! Take this!"
The sun rose clear in the sky, shining down on the bizarre scene of two men
ruthlessly beating themselves up.
◇ ◇ ◇
"...Touya, I think these men might actually be stupider than non-sapient
animals."
"...Yeah, uh, gimme a minute. I didn't actually plan for them to start doing
this."
Doc Babylon was just as exasperated as I was. I'd chained them together in
order to force them to work as a team, but I hadn't really expected them to
start hurting themselves to spite the other. The whole point of the curse was to
make them share their pain. If one of them was hurt, they'd both be hurt. If one
of them died, the other could even die. I thought they'd begin taking things
more carefully, but, uh... apparently not. I didn't think they'd start swinging at
themselves instead of each other.
"...Why are they even hitting themselves, anyway? They'd generate an equal
level of pain by hitting each other."
Doc Babylon was right, the pain was functionally the same no matter which
one of them took it. I wondered if they were hitting themselves because it
meant their enemy wouldn't be able to dodge, there'd be a guaranteed chance
of the other guy getting hurt. Frankly, I wondered if they were capable of that
much thought, though...
I let out a disappointed sigh as I observed the men on the monitor.
◇ ◇ ◇
"Huff... Puff..."
"Wheeze... Wheeze..."
The two men were laying on their backs, unable to take any more of the pain.
The scorching sun above glared down at them as the heated sand lightly
toasted their bodies. As they did, their pain began to fade away. This was the
result of Healing magic cast by Touya, though the two certainly wouldn't have
ever been able to guess that. Their tummies rumbled as they lay flat on their
backs. It'd been a while since either of them had eaten, and if they didn't find
food they'd run the risk of starvation. The two of them slowly rose to their feet.
"Guess I can catch some fish..."
"Guess I can forage for nuts..."
The two of them glared at once another, then immediately turned away. The
two of them stood back to back before they started to move. King Zadonia
headed toward the forest, while King Dauburn headed for the sea. The chains
connecting them, however, had other plans. Once they had marched a suitable
distance away from each other, they both fell face-first into the sand below.
"THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, BASTARD?!"
"THAT'S MY LINE, SCUMBAG!"
The two of them snarled at one another, butting heads like ferocious animals.
"Do you enjoy getting in my way, wretch?!"
"Don't make me laugh! You're the one getting in my way! You can't just catch
a fish that easily, idiot!"
"Pfft. I had a feeling you wouldn't understand. I suppose it makes sense given
your rivers are all frozen over. I've captured many fish in the flowing rivers of
my fine oasis, ever since my youth. With my talent for spearfishing, I'm sure I'll
have plenty of—"
"Spearfishing? How are you going to do that without a spear?!"
King Dauburn realized that his enemy had a point, and simply grunted in
annoyance. There were certainly no spears in the vicinity.
"You've no spear, no hook, no rod! How were you planning on catching fish?!
With your hands?! Are you going to tell me you were going to catch seaborne
fish with your bare hands?!"
"Grr!"
King Dauburn had never tried to catch fish with his bare hands before, so he
definitely wouldn't be able to pull that off. Loath as he was to admit it, his longtime enemy was right.
King Dauburn let out a defeated sigh. This only prompted King Zadonia to go
on the offensive.
"And another thing, how were you going to eat the fish? Were you going to
eat it raw? We can't just create a fire from thin air! Has all that heat in Dauburn
boiled your brain?! Foraging for wild nuts and fruits is the optimal solution, you
oaf."
"GHHHH! Well, Mr. Big Brain, how exactly were you planning on identifying
the stuff you find, huh?! How would you know what stuff's safe to eat and
what's not?!"
King Zadonia realized that his enemy had a point, and simply grunted in
annoyance. He was royalty, so there's no way he'd be able to do that. He had
the finest cooks in his nation prepare all of his food, and he even had his food
taste-tested. He could recognize basic fruits, but had little to no knowledge
about which herbs, nuts, or wild plants were safe. The same was true for King
Dauburn, though. They were both sheltered royals who knew little of survival
outside their majestic walls.
"Honestly, why'd you even suggest foraging in the forest?! You wanna screw
up and poison yourself on a regular day, fine! But don't drag me along with you,
I don't wanna die because of that twerp's magic and your stupidity!"
"I know some basic fruits and nuts! We won't know unless we look, will we?!
Or do you actually want to starve out here?!"
"You son of a—!"
The men were interrupted by their rumbling stomachs. The two of them
sighed slightly, acknowledging their identical predicament. For a brief moment,
their eyes met, but they quickly looked away from each other again. The two
stayed as far apart from each other as possible, silently walking towards the
forest in perfect unison.
"There we go. They're Persimmo fruits."
"Yeah, I recognize them. We imported them from Allent once."
The two men eventually found a tree with red fruits growing from its
branches. Persimmos were fairly common, but they couldn't grow in the
extreme climates of Dauburn and Zadonia.
The persimmos shimmered in the daylight, looking remarkably enticing.
Unfortunately, they were far too high up. "Should we knock them down with
stones?"
"You fool. We won't be able to hit such small fruits from down here. And even
if we did, there's no guarantee they'd fall."
"In that case..."
The two of them stared quietly at the massive tree. Ordinarily, this kind of
tree would be easy enough to climb, even for children. But the shackles around
their feet made things a bit harder.
"We have to try."
"Mhm."
The two men stepped towards the tree, their tummies rumbling in unison.
This was the first thing they'd consciously decided to work on together, though
neither man had actually noticed that detail. They slowly, but surely, started to
scale the tree. To their surprise, the chain connecting them didn't weigh them
down, as if unaffected by gravity.
"Ack!"
"Ghah!"
King Dauburn lost his footing, causing him to tumble backward off the tree.
Naturally, this resulted in King Zadonia falling as well, due to the chain binding
them together. The curse triggered, prompting the men to feel the impact of
two falls.
"Fool! Watch where your feet are!"
"I was watching!"
The two grumbled and immediately made for the tree again.
"Here. Place your foot on this part."
"Here, shuffle over a bit. It's a little dangerous there."
The two of them slowly scaled the tree again, giving each other advice here
and there. Eventually, they made it to the fruit. The branch creaked slightly,
bending below their weight. Given there were two grown men atop it, that
wasn't too surprising.
"Hold on, we need to be careful."
"I know that! Quit whining and—"
King Dauburn had reached out for the fruit, unable to finish his sentence
before the branch snapped. The two men stayed there in agony, having just felt
the pain of two drops from the height of a two-story building. But eventually,
their gazes settled on the fruit, which had fallen along with the branch. They
each grabbed one, wiping it on their clothes to clear any muck, and immediately
bit into it. A sweet flavor danced along the tips of their tongues as they greedily
wolfed down their reward.
"Ohhh, it's nice..."
"Mhm..."
The two of them silently ate the rest of the fruit, going through two each in
the blink of an eye. The taste of the fruits had likely been amplified by their
extremely hungry states. They looked up and saw more of those tantalizing
fruits on higher branches.
"We need more."
"We do."
The two men stood up and once again headed for the persimmo tree.
◇ ◇ ◇
"Looks like they came together for that, at least."
"Yeah, just as planned. Glad we put the tree there. I'm gonna have to fix up
that branch, though."
We watched the two kings on the monitor, but we weren't all that impressed.
It'd taken them far too long to get to this point, and they hadn't really made
much progress at all.
I grumbled quietly, staring at the object atop the main desk in Babylon's
research laboratory. It was a small box, around thirty centimeters tall and forty
centimeters wide. Inside the box was a small diorama of an island. This was the
island the two kings were currently on. It was a simulated world created
through a fusion of Space-time magic and barrier techniques. There was an
artifact similar to it in the storehouse, which I'd actually been sucked into a
while back... That sure was a rough time... There was a board game and
everything... This one was a safe pocket dimension, though. There was nothing
meaningfully dangerous inside. Ideally, the two kings would learn to co-operate
on the island and become better men.
"How are the princes doing?"
"All good on that front. Can't really see it going wrong. Only the kings and
their top nobles were in support of the war, so the populations are supporting
their princes."
Since the kings of Zadonia and Dauburn were now missing, their sons were
acting as leaders in their absence. The people of each nation had only been
informed that the kings had taken ill, but obviously, I told the princes the truth.
I was honestly a little worried since I thought they'd object to me having that
kind of control over their fathers, but they seemed okay with it. The holy king of
Allent agreed, too, saying it was natural to discard a king who refused to serve
his people. I personally thought that was a little extreme, but it was at least
understandable.
I wondered if the two princes had already written their fathers off as lost
causes... However, I decided to just hope that they had faith in me to reform
their dads. That would make me feel better, at least.
The two princes had called for a ceasefire with each other, and they'd begun
preparing for negotiations. The older nobles had expressed dissent towards the
idea of peace, but they were quickly silenced by the savvy young princes.
Apparently, they'd done their share of investigating, and found that many of
the nobles had been dipping their hands into the national treasury, or taking
shares from war supply convoys. They'd basically been making constant profit
from the never-ending war machine. Thus, the nobles didn't actually care about
the people they were fighting. They just wanted to fill their own pockets. That
meant the only people in all of Dauburn and Zadonia who actually cared about
the war on principled grounds were... the kings.
Just like in the tale of the Emperor's New Clothes, these men had their
warped worldviews validated by those below them for insincere reasons. It was
pretty pathetic, to say the least.
◇ ◇ ◇
"OIIINK!"
"AUUUUGH!"
The two men yelled out in unison, fleeing from a tri-horned boar that had
come out from the forest depths.
They'd set out a pathway earlier, so all they had to do was run toward the
sweet spot without slipping up. All was going according to plan.
"Make sure to time it right!"
"Yep, I know! Three, two, one!"
King Zadonia counted down, prompting both men to leap over a certain
something. The charging boar behind them didn't jump and found itself
tumbling into a large dug-out pit.
"GRAAARGH!"
"We did it!"
The two men cheered merrily as they looked at the fallen boar. It had been
pierced by various wooden stakes they'd left at the bottom. The two of them
snaked rope-like vines around the boar's legs, pulling it up out of the pit. It was
quite the bulky creature to shift, but the two of them were so excited by the
prospect of fresh meat that they diligently worked together for it.
It had been two weeks since they woke up on this mysterious island, and
they'd gotten used to a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. They'd found an area with lots
of easily-sharpened rocks, so they'd managed to fashion spears and arrowheads
by combining various materials. The two of them had even managed to build a
proper campfire and even a spit for cooking food.
The two kings had no idea that a certain grand duke had secretly been leaving
convenient objects for them, dropping off useful raw materials like obsidian for
them, or casting Fire magic at just the right moment, but that wasn't something
they necessarily needed to know. They'd faced danger together, risking life and
limb. They were hounded by that tortoise-snake combo a few times, and they
were even terrorized by a blue dragon... But, gradually, island life was starting
to grow on them.
The two of them hauled the boar back to their beachside camp, where they
carved it up with their obsidian knives. They then began roasting it. They didn't
know this, but the creature they'd killed was a tri-boar. It had flesh so succulent
that it could even be enjoyed raw, and its native habitat was southern Lestia. It
had been airdropped to the island via a certain spell, of course.
"What are we doing today?"
"We should go fishing. We've got spears now, after all."
"Oh yeah, you old bastard. You're supposedly good at it, right?"
"Bet your withered old ass I am. I'll catch us a tasty one, for sure."
The two men laughed together, happily munching on their meal. In the span
of only two weeks, their relationship had completely changed. The two men, in
tattered clothes and unkempt hair, couldn't possibly be recognized as kings at a
glance. They were just fellow castaways, trying to live their best lives possible in
their new home.
The (not actually) harsh environment where they had (not really) struggled to
survive had given them a newfound lease on life. The two cheerily picked up a
spear each and set off for the water's edge. But, before they could do that, a
familiar sight appeared before them. The grand duke of Brunhild was sitting on
the beach. He was casually lounging beneath a parasol and holding a fruity drink
in his hand.
They narrowed their eyes on sight, their rage toward the man who'd brought
them to the island impossible to quell. The two of them charged in perfect
three-legged unison toward the lounging boy.
"You wretched little—"
"You wretched little—"
Much like the boar, and much like the first time they'd seen Touya on the
island, the two men went plummeting into a pitfall trap.
"...I'm surprised they fell for that a second time, my liege."
"Come now, Kohaku. They might not have changed in that way, but they're
certainly different in some other ways."
"If you say so."
Touya took off his sunglasses and casually wandered over to look into the pit.
He looked like a typical tropical tourist in his Hawaiian shirt and beach sandals.
"Been a while, boys."
"You little shit! How dare you!"
"Come down here and see if you can talk so big!"
The two spewed insults up at the young grand duke, but Touya was just
impressed they had that much fight left in them.
"Now, now, fellas. I actually came here to show you something."
"And what's that?"
A video began playing, projected into the air above the pit. It showed a
battlefield. Two factions were engaged in gruesome conflict. One side wore red
leather armor, while the other wore blue mail armor. Dauburn and Zadonia
were engaged in total war.
"What is this?!"
"Why are they fighting on such a scale?!"
The two countries were going all-out, both armies brutally clashing against
each other. The two men had never seen their conflict represented in this way
before, so it was no wonder they were so baffled.
The video showed soldiers impaled on spears, families crying over the corpses
of their fallen loved ones, children stumbling through scenes of carnage, while
the bedridden and sickly failed to escape.
The two kings silently watched the video, sheer horror on their faces. They'd
stood on battlefields before, but only ceremonially. They'd barked their orders
and retreated. They'd never had to face the reality of an actual fight before. The
scene in the video switched, showing two young men clashing blades against
each other. Though they were clad in armor, the two kings immediately knew
who they were looking at.
"Hakim?!"
"Frost?!"
Their sons were evenly matched, but it was clear they were fighting with
intent to kill.
"Why are our boys out there?!"
"Well, from what I understand... each country thinks the other kidnapped
their king. Guess you guys must've been well-liked, huh?"
"You monster! You did this!"
"Don't you feel any remorse?!"
The two of them looked heartbroken as they screamed out at the grand duke.
"Your boys are clashing with each other, just like you wanted. Aren't they the
same as you?"
"No! They're only fighting because of a misunderstanding! You're the enemy
here!"
"Is that right? I'm sorry, but weren't you the ones who constantly told your
sons that the other side needed to die? Isn't this the outcome you were hoping
for the whole time? Oh, don't look away. It seems like this fight might be
reaching its conclusion."
The two princes held their swords up, each scanning the other for
weaknesses. They rushed forward, passing each other as their blades flashed.
Each sword found its mark, and the two men had their bellies sliced open.
Blood and viscera fell from their gaping wounds.
The two boys dropped to their knees and fell forward, a crimson pool forming
beneath both parties.
"Hakim?! No!"
"F-Frost?! It can't be!"
"Oh, too bad. Looks like it was a stalemate again."
The two kings glared at Touya, furious at him for treating the death of their
sons so lightly.
"YOU ANIMAL! GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE MY SON BACK!"
"WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU, HM?! WHAT DID MY BOY DO?!"
"Hm? Shouldn't you be thanking me? If you'd been out fighting instead, then
it might have been you two who died rather than them. Try being a little
appreciative."
"What do you—?!"
The two tried to speak back, but the strangely frightening aura released from
the grand duke stopped them in their tracks. They were overwhelmed by a
sensation far scarier than anything they'd encountered on the island. They were
like frogs being stared down by a snake, very much aware that they were
nothing more than potential prey.
"Don't give me that shit. You two have been complicit in this war from the
start. Did you never think about how you could die? Or did you think being royal
makes you immortal? Think about how many times you two nearly died here.
Life can be snuffed out so easily."
The video switched to a feed showing Zadonian and Dauburnian citizens. They
were starving, shivering. The video changed to show images of the two kings
eating lavish meals. Images of weary soldiers returning from battle came next,
followed by pictures of the two kings pettily arguing with each other over small
matters.
Remorse and shame began welling up in the two men.
"...Did we do this...?"
"I... Yes... But, Frost... My boy..."
The two men stared at the ground, seemingly reflecting on the truth they'd
just come to realize. Tears began to well up in their eyes, and they sobbed for
the sons they'd lost. Their immediate grief mingled with their shame, creating
raw feelings of guilt and devastation.
They quickly became overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions. And, with
that, they lost consciousness.
◇ ◇ ◇
"Think that'll be enough?"
"I should think so, yes."
Kohaku answered my half-question as I finished casting [Sleep Cloud] on the
two men. They were out like a light.
"Man, they sure seemed repentant..."
I snapped my fingers, undoing the [Invisible] spell on the two men nearby. It
was Hakim and Frost.
"I wondered why you had us stage that mock fight with each other, but..."
"I never thought my father would cry..."
The two princes looked down at their fathers, muddled expressions on their
faces. The video I'd shown them was obviously fake. I'd made the two princes
stage a fake fight, and even went so far as to include fake blood and special
effects. The other scenes were taken from memories of the citizens of both
countries.
"I might've gone a little overboard, but this should work. If they still want to
fight after all this, then I'm done. That might sound a little cold, but they'd be
truly hopeless in that case. I'd just leave them to you."
"Fear not, I promise you that Dauburn will never repeat its mistakes."
"Indeed. I'll bring peace to Zadonia, even if it means imprisoning my father."
The two princes seemed determined. I wasn't worried about them, to be
honest. They seemed to be fast friends, and they had those Allent princesses
connecting them as well.
"Right, then. Let's put an end to this."
I rolled up my sleeves as I headed toward the snoring, drooling, sleeping
kings.
◇ ◇ ◇
"Mnnnh...?"
King Dauburn awoke in his bed. Birds chirped outside, and he felt soft linen
beneath his body. It was the same as usual... except it wasn't. For the last two
weeks, he'd woken up with sand beneath him, to the sounds of crashing waves.
As his thoughts began to uncloud, he quickly jumped out of his bed.
"I-I'm home?! Isn't this my room?!"
It almost seemed too good to be true. But, indeed, this was his room. He was
back in Dauburn. He didn't know how he'd gotten there, though. He quietly
looked around the room.
"Was it... a dream, perhaps?" he muttered to himself as his eyes scanned the
room, eventually, his gaze fell upon a certain object on the bedside table.
"That's..."
He picked it up, and it jingled slightly. It was a metal clasp with a tiny piece of
chain attached to it. There was no doubt about it, this was the shackle that had
been around his ankle. He rolled up his nightgown, seeing a discolored patch of
skin where the sun had been unable to tan his ankle. That meant it wasn't a
dream at all.
"Wait... Hakim!"
King Dauburn fell to his knees, grief overwhelming his form. At that moment,
the very son he was mourning walked through the door.
"Morning, Father. Nice to see you're awake."
"Hakim?! H-Hakim!! Y-You're alive, my son!"
"...Of course I'm alive... Should I not be, or something?"
"No, no! You should be! I'm just glad to see you! I truly am, my boy!"
King Dauburn reached over and embraced his son tightly. Prince Hakim, who
hugged his father back just a little, filled him in on what had happened over the
two weeks of the king's absence. Now that the king was back, all authority
would be returned to him.
"I've drafted a temporary ceasefire with Zadonia, since I didn't want to fight
while you were away. But what do you want us to do now, Father? Some of the
nobles were saying it would be best to resume hostile action..."
Prince Hakim cleverly asked his father in a way that would be able to gauge
intent. The king sat for a while in silence, but eventually spoke in a clear and
present manner.
"Hm... Let us head to talk with them."
"...Very well, Father. I'll let everyone know."
King Dauburn was, strangely enough, smiling. The look on his face was one of
exuberance and determination.
Thus, a few days later... A camp had been established on the Lezalia plain, a
stretch of land between Zadonia and Dauburn with a fairly normal climate.
Though, traveling only a few kilometers in either direction from the plain
resulted in harsh environmental conditions. The upper echelons of Dauburn and
Zadonia were at this camp for a meeting. Prince Hakim and Prince Frost were,
naturally, present as well.
The two kings eventually came into the main meeting room, taking a seat
opposite one another at the table. They glared at each other for a short while,
before King Dauburn finally spoke.
"Looks like you survived, you icy bastard."
"Looks like you did too. Tell me, were you born this much of a loudmouth or
did the desert heat fry your brain?"
The two kings started hurling insults at one another, causing their retainers to
grimace slightly. The two of them stood up from the table, staring each other
down with scrutiny. Everyone present assumed the situation was about to
explode, but then something strange happened.
"Snrk..."
"Heh..."
To everyone's surprise, the kings started snickering.
"Gahahahaha! So you made it, you piece of shit!"
"Wahahah! You too, you hardy old bastard!"
The two of them started laughing like idiots, sending everyone else in the
room into absolute shock.
"Do you know how many nightmares I've had about that island?! It was the
worst!"
"Me too! Man, it was awful!"
The two of them joked around, patting the other on the back and smiling
wide. These men, who had a cat-and-dog relationship their entire lives, were
suddenly palling around like old friends. Nobody at the table believed their
eyes.
"I actually came here to make a formal declaration!"
"Well isn't that funny! I came here for the same reason!"
The two of them winked at each other before turning around to their
respective retainers and speaking the words they'd been wanting to say ever
since they came back from their hellish vacation.
"I'll be abdicating the throne to Hakim. These peace talks are his responsibility
now."
"And I'll be having Frost take my place as well. Zadonia's fate rests in his
hands."
The two men merrily announced their retirement. The former kings couldn't
help but smile, knowing that their hate was behind them.
◇ ◇ ◇
"And then what happened?"
"Prince Hakim and Prince Frost ascended to become kings. The two countries
are working hard alongside each other now..." I answered Yumina's question as
I leaned back against the couch.
Things had finally calmed down. Though it honestly ended up taking a while
longer than I expected. It seemed to me that older people found it harder to
admit fault.
The two countries became friendly, but the former kings still had it out for
me. They didn't tell their sons not to associate with Brunhild, though, which
fortunately meant they now knew how to separate personal grudges from
national policy.
"What about the Allent princesses?"
"All seems to be fine there. They should be getting engaged to the Dauburn
and Zadonia guys soon enough, actually."
"Wow! That's lovely!" Lu peeked her head out from her book to smile at the
good news.
I wasn't quite as happy as the girls were, in all honesty. Even if it was nice
overall, it still felt a little too engineered by the holy king. Part of me felt like
he'd basically played me like a fiddle.
I made a strange kind of engagement gift gesture by asking Flame Spirit and
Ice Spirit to mellow out the harsh environments of Zadonia and Dauburn, so
things would slowly start to become better for their countries.
Hilde let out a little laugh as she placed her pen down.
"I'm glad that it was settled, I must say. I didn't like the idea of a war still
going on when we'd just brought about peace."
"Yeah, that's true. Though this world isn't exactly a paradise yet."
There was the looming issue with the Behemoths, the fact that the world
barrier still wasn't fixed, and then there was the rebuilding effort for countries
that were hit harder by the Phrase. But worst of all was the stack of papers in
front of me...
I picked one up and read it over.
"So, uh, who's Earl Darlwein?"
"Ah, that's one of mine. He's an earl from Regulus. Oh, let me think... My
great-grandfather's younger sister married into his family."
"So what's your family's current relationship with them?"
"Largely nonexistent. But they still have some royal blood in them, so they're
in the line of succession."
"Guess that's a name for this pile, then..."
I placed the earl's name into one of the ranked boxes we'd set out. These
boxes were brought out to establish hierarchy when it came to seating at my
upcoming wedding.
Three of my fiancees were princesses, so there were a lot of people we
needed to invite out of courtesy. Yumina, Lu, and Hilde were sorting through
the names. I was helping, sort of. Technically, Sue and Sakura should've been
included, but Sue fell under the same umbrella as Yumina, and Sakura was an
illegitimate child, so they didn't technically count.
I didn't personally like ranking my wives, but public opinion stated that
Yumina would be first queen, Lu second, and Hilde third. After that would come
Sue as fourth, then Leen in fifth, Sakura in sixth, and Linze, Elze, and Yae after
that.
Apparently Linze, Elze, and Yae's positions were determined by the order in
which they confessed to me. I didn't have any hand in the ranking. The girls had
figured it all out independently. Still, the ranking would only be for the sake of
public appearances. We all agreed that they had equal footing in the
relationship. Social formalities sure were a pain in my ass... I didn't really care
about selecting which guest sat where...
I wondered if Yae's family, along with Elze and Linze's, would be okay mingling
with so many nobles and royals. Given how nervous Elze and Linze's uncle was
the last time, I half-expected him to collapse on the spot at the wedding.
"Uh... Marquis Pollon?"
"He's in charge of Lestian finances. He's been close to our family since my
father's younger days."
"Then he goes in this box..."
Just as I was obeying Hilde's instructions, Karen suddenly appeared out of thin
air right next to me.
"Touyaaa!"
"What?!"
This irritating god-sister of mine had given up on any kind of subtlety, and
now just teleported around whenever she wanted. It still scared the hell out of
me!
"Damn it, Karen! I told you not to teleport like th—"
"There's no time to lose, you know?! We need to go!" Karen grabbed me by
the arm before I had any time to react.
Huh? What? What's going on?
"H-H-Hold it, Karen! Where are you taking me?!"
"To the divine realm, you know?! Sorry, Yumina! I need Touya! Emergency
family meeting!"
"Uh, okay...? Have a safe trip..." Yumina slowly nodded, shivering and clearly
somewhat disturbed by Karen's erratic behavior.
Sorry, what?! A family meeting?! With who?! What for?! But, before I could
even ask, I'd been whisked away to the land of the gods...
Oh. My. God!!!