"Hm? Where are we?"
The place Karen had brought me wasn't the usual endlessly expanding room
with the old man in it. We were in front of a massive temple surrounded by
huge marble pillars. It towered over the immediate landscape, though there
was nothing beyond it but a sea of clouds.
A tremendous series of stairs stood before the entrance to the temple. The
sky above was clear as day, not a single cloud there... Though there were plenty
of clouds at our feet. The only thing up above us was a circular rainbow, with a
blue inside it deeper than anything I'd ever seen before.
"This way, you know?"
Karen grabbed my hand and started to walk toward the stairway.
"W-Wait a sec! Where are we?"
"This is the Pantheon, you know? It's a public area for all the gods, where we
can interact with each other while off-duty. It was made by the creator.
Everyone here is either a god or a beneficiary of one, you know?"
The Pantheon? Kinda sounds like Pandemonium, but that's the royal castle of
Xenoahs, so it's probably just a coincidence.
Karen dragged me through the entrance, and suddenly our surroundings
changed. We were supposed to be in a building, but the place looked more like
a castle courtyard. There was a green lawn, plants here and there, and a large
fountain too.
"What the hell...?"
"There are a lot of different kinds of rooms here, but how you get around is
random. You can take any path through this place and wind up anywhere, you
know?"
That didn't exactly sound very productive. I kind of wondered why the gods
were such weird people...
Various individuals were hanging around the courtyard area, some turning
their eyes toward us with curiosity. I assumed they were gods, while some of
the animals like one sparrow I'd seen were divine beneficiaries. My latter
assumption was soon proven wrong, however, as the little bird flew down and
perched on Karen's shoulder.
"Hey, Love God. Is that the newbie?"
"It certainly is. I'm afraid we're in a bit of a hurry, god of flight. We'll talk later,
you know?"
"Ahaha, how unusually curt of you."
Oh damn, he's a full-on god... Sorry I made the wrong assumption.
"Apology accepted. It was an easy mistake to make for the uninitiated. Let's
have a nice chat next time we get a chance, eh?"
"Huh? Oh, uh... Okay."
The god of flight flapped away on the breeze. Apparently, he'd been reading
my mind, but that was natural, given his divine status.
"It's been billions of years since the god of worlds has taken on a beneficiary,
you know? You're a little bit of a celebrity as a result. But there's an issue we
need to take care of, first. It's a little sensitive..."
"H-Huh?! Did I do something wrong?"
"Of course not, you know? It's just... Well, we can talk about it when we get
there."
I had no idea what the current situation was. Karen continued dragging me
through the courtyard until we passed through an archway to another building.
Or at least, it was supposed to be another building...
Somehow, we ended up in another outdoor space, if you could even call it
that. I could see the ever-present sprawling clouds in the distance, but there
were blooming flowers beneath my feet. I could see a few ivory pillars, much
like the ones from outside the Pantheon, jutting out of the ground here and
there. Since the pillars were alone and not supporting anything, they kind of
reminded me of Egyptian obelisks.
The surrounding area was so beautiful, it almost felt like heaven... Though,
given that I was in the divine realm, heaven was technically a few steps beneath
the place. Probably, at least. I didn't really know.
"Took ya long enough, lad."
"Huh, Kousuke?"
The god of agriculture suddenly appeared before me. Karina, goddess of the
hunt, stood by his side as well.
"Things are going okay here, for the most part. The combat god and the
sword god have helped hold back some of the rowdier ones, but it's still pretty
awkward as a whole..." Karina sounded exhausted, but I had no idea what she
was talking about.
"Guys, uh... Can you just tell me what's going on already?"
"Mmh... It'd be better to let the world god fill ya in on that. We're comin' with
ya, so let's just keep goin'."
Kousuke started walking, and I had no choice but to follow. We walked along
through the flowers until eventually we passed a series of cherry blossom trees
with their faint petals dancing through the air. I noticed a few others sitting and
enjoying the sight of the blossoms. They looked our way as we walked past
them. Presumably, they were gods as well.
It felt a little weird, in all honesty. It was almost as if they were sizing me up
like a piece of meat... I could've just been worrying too hard, though.
"Ah, welcome."
"Ah, hic! Whelchome! Ahahahahah!"
God Almighty sat beneath a large sakura tree. He was seated atop a large
woven mat. Suika, the god of alcohol, sat by his side. She was hugging a large
bottle of sake to her chest. Sousuke, the music god, was strumming a harp a
little ways off from them.
"Sorry for calling you out on such short notice. Please, have a seat."
I sat down on the mat and found myself surprised by its incredibly comfy
texture. It was certainly far beyond any other I'd sat on in either of my lives.
"Well, lad. I held a banquet here today with the other gods. I wanted to bring
them all together and discuss the plan for the divine resort, and all that
business. Now that you have taken charge of the world, it all looked possible,
after all. Everyone got a tad too excited at the news, however... They all kicked
up a fuss about the opportunity to revel in a mortal realm."
"Oh, right. So you just told everyone they'd get a chance to get a vacation in
human form?"
"Yes, that is correct. However... During the discussion, your wedding
ceremony ended up coming up as a topic... I happened to mention that the love
god, sword god, and a few others would be in attendance as your family, and...
well... many of the others protested, stating that they wished to attend as
well..."
Huh? What...? How'd my wedding even come up?
"It's just how it is, you know? Some gods want to come to the wedding as
your family members, so they can try out human bodies in advance! Basically,
it'd be like a forward squad, you know? Or like... special guests?"
"Huh? Seriously?"
"We did not want to decide on your family without consulting you. That is
why I decided to call you here. We were thinking of filling the empty positions
of siblings, parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and other such roles..."
"W-Wait up! You can't just expand my family that rapidly!"
I already had eight gods down there as my family members, though only
Karen, Moroha, and the world god were direct family. Plus, even though I was
now in another world to them, my parents were still alive. I didn't really feel
comfortable addressing another person as mom or dad. The grandpa thing was
fine, since I already had a couple of those to begin with.
"I agree, you know? I don't really want any weird ones taking the parent role
because then they'd be my parent, too."
"Wait, weird ones? What do you mean?"
"Like the god of flight we saw earlier, you know? How do you think people
would react if you called a bird your dad?"
"...They'd think I've totally lost it, I imagine."
"I'm glad you get it."
Yeah, I didn't exactly want a little songbird as part of my immediate family.
Plus, when I looked closer, some of the gods hanging around the area had
strange forms. Some of them had bird heads or feline features. They kind of
resembled ancient Egyptian gods... Certainly a far cry from the more human
ones I was familiar with.
It was true that werecats existed among the demonkin, so they probably
wouldn't raise too many eyebrows down there, but... I definitely couldn't walk
around with an anthropomorphic cat and tell everyone she was my mom.
"Wouldn't it be fine if they weren't my direct family? They could be old
friends or neighbors, maybe people who helped me out or I helped out in the
past... It'd be pretty normal to invite people like that over, right?"
My words prompted all the gods in the surrounding area to raise their arms in
celebration and cheer. It scared the hell out of me.
"That's what I'm talkin' about, new guy!"
"Hell yeah! We can all go down!"
"I wanna stretch my legs on mortal soil, dang it!"
What the heck, how come so many wanna go down...? Don't these guys have
jobs to do?!
Not every god was so enthused, apparently. The two factions were effectively
split into gods who wanted to go down immediately, and gods who didn't really
care and figured they'd check it out later.
"Is that okay, you know? Everyone'll end up going down at this rate... We'll be
here to support you, but you'll have to take care of any problems they might
cause, you know...?"
"Huh?! Wait, nobody mentioned potential problems!"
Karen's whisper immediately worried me, and I realized what I'd agreed to.
Obviously, a bunch of excited, rowdy gods would be trouble down there.
"Oi, calm down an' all that. Even if the new lad's world becomes a resort for
us, that doesn't mean we can jus' go raise a ruckus wherever. If we disrespect
the rules've that world down there, we'll be disrespectin' him. An' by extension,
we'll be disrespectin' the world god right here. Got it?"
Everyone fell silent in response to Kousuke's words. I was glad to have a god
with some degree of common sense on my side.
"Well then, Agricultural God. How are we gonna decide who goes down, eh?"
A monstrously massive man, who stood at least two meters tall, spoke up. He
wore a Greek-style chiton tunic that flowed down from his left shoulder, the
uncovered parts showed off his rippling muscles and washboard abs. The
strangest thing about the musclehead in front of me was that he kept posing
like a bodybuilder as he spoke.
"We'll be decidin' that right now, god of strength. That's why we called the
kid here."
The god of strength, huh...? Well, with a body like that, I'm not really
surprised.
"So, how many people do you think would work?"
"Uhh... I'm not really sure... Karen... What do you and the others think?"
I couldn't really come up with an answer to the world god's sudden question,
so I turned to Karen and the others. I personally thought divine stuff should be
handled by divine people, even if I was technically one of them now.
"Mm... We don't want too many, you know? Maybe ten maximum."
Ten sounded reasonable enough... so long as they behaved, at least.
"Oh, a modest proposal. Perhaps the ones who behave the best while they
are down there can stay as backup for you all and Touya?"
"Oh, that's a good idea, you know? Then we'll be able to handle more than
ten on the next visit!"
Karen grinned, nodding along at what the world god had proposed.
Wait. More than ten? Next visit?
"Are you sure that's okay? I don't want any of them running wild..."
"I am sure it will be fine, my boy. They all want to try out living human lives,
after all. If something truly absurd ends up happening, you have my promise
that I will help you. Given that you are still in your trial period, it would only be
fair that I step in should divine matters get too much."
Hrmm... I guess it'll turn out okay if I have the old man backing me... It should
be fine, right? Right?!
"Well then, ten it is? They will not be going down immediately, fret not. They
will go down one by one a few times before the wedding proper, however."
"Huh? I guess that's fine, then..."
...Guess we'll have more gods down there soon... It's kind of crazy how many
there are already, though. Putting the world god aside, a total of seven lived in
my castle.
"Ah, on this matter... One of the ten has already been decided. After all, I still
owe you on my promise. I told you I would be sending someone to fix your
world barrier, yes?"
"Oh yeah, you did."
The boundary line or barrier that defended our world was shredded up thanks
to the Phrase, and somebody with extreme finesse was required to patch it up.
Well, I sure as hell can't do it, and Karen and the others down there are a little
rough around the edges too... I'm glad that the old man's found someone useful
for a ch—
"Owwwww!"
"Sorry I'm so rough, you know? But you should know how easy it is to read
thoughts in this realm."
Karen pinched at my cheeks. I wish she'd warned me in advance, at least!
"...Now now, you two... At any rate, I will be sending the chosen god before
any of the others, is this alright?"
"Of course it is! I asked you for help in the first place, after all."
"Thank you, then. With that settled, I shall have you meet the candidate."
God Almighty clapped his hands together, and an old woman appeared out of
nowhere. She had white hair and looked to be at least (physically) seventy years
old. Her white kimono gave her an air of grace. Despite her Japanese aesthetic,
her eyes were a deep blue.
...Why do I feel like I know this woman? What's this sense of familiarity?
"That's because I'm like you, dearie. We are both beneficiaries of the world
god's divinity."
"Ah, that makes sense."
The old woman smiled softly, reading my mind as if there was nothing strange
at all about it. Damn it... do I have to get used to this or something?
The old woman sat down next to the world god. The two of them almost
looked like a couple.
"She will be handling the repairs on the world barrier. This, Touya, is the god
of space-time."
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Touya. I'll be taking on the role of your
grandmother, if that's quite alright."
My grandma, huh? That'd make her the world god's wife down there... They
do look pretty nice together, though.
"Oh my, do we?"
"That is a touch embarrassing, aha..."
The two of them laughed bashfully.
...Welp, got my mind read again. Guess my inside voice is my outside voice
now. That's just life.
"So, uh... space-time? Does that mean you control... space and time? Sounds
kind of obvious when I put it like that, huh?"
"Indeed, that's what I do. Barriers around worlds need to be repaired by
having the raggedy parts removed and resewn, but that would leave large
patches of your world undefended from external influence. That's why we
decided that it would be best if I used my ability to simply rewind your barrier.
It is far easier a task than creating a new one, dearie."
Hah... That makes sense! When the black and white crowns (Noir and Albus)
ran wild, they repaired the barrier, too. So I guess she'll just be able to do what
they did.
"Rewinding it all in one go could cause more than a few wrinkles, so I'll make
a gradual task of it, a bit like sewing or weaving. For as long as I need to do that,
dearie, I hope you don't mind my intrusion at your home."
"Oh, of course not. That's completely fine, thanks. What about your name,
though?"
"Ah, yes... Tokie will suffice. Mochizuki Tokie shall be my mortal name.
Though you may call me granny."
"Granny, huh...?"
"That's right. I look forward to staying with you, Touya."
The god of space-time... Or uh, Granny, smiled softly.
...Man, just looking at her sets me at ease. She's definitely a proper god in
every sense of the word. Ack, better not think anything too incriminating... I
know you can hear me, Karen!
"By the way, how are we gonna decide who gets to come down to the mortal
world?"
"Our traditional method is drawing lots."
So basically a lottery. That makes sense. Stuff like drawing lots or omikuji are
definitely traditional enough, so I can see why gods would opt for that kind of
method.
The prospective gods all seemed to agree it was fair, too.
"Now remember, you cannot use your divinity to cheat. I will know if you do.
No clairvoyant sight, and no bolstering your own luck. Touya shall make the lots
in order to prove impartiality."
Huh? Me? I mean, I guess if I have to...
About a hundred gods showed up to try and test their luck. That seemed like
way too many volunteers... The gods really had more free time than I thought.
The old saying said that curiosity killed the cat, but perhaps in this case
boredom killed the gods.
I decided to start drawing up the lottery, designing a basic omikuji-style box. A
hexagonal cylinder with a small hole in the middle. You could fill it with thin
sticks and shake it until one came out.
Once I created the box, I put the little sticks inside. There were more sticks in
the box than participants. But only ten of these sticks had gold-painted tips.
Those would be the winning lots. I closed the lid on the box afterward, and that
was that. I passed it off to Suika and had her handle the rest.
"Alright, hic! Line up, line upppp! Now if you dohn't, hic, follow the ruhles
you'll be dishqualifieeed! No, hic, yummy mortal boozes for you! Aaahahaha!"
Quite a few of the gods gulped in concern at the prospect, which made me
desperately hope none of them won. It was bad enough having one little
resident drinking gremlin.
The gods started shaking the box, one at a time, and drawing their lots.
Despite being discouraged by their loss, they'd go back to the end of the line
and wait until they could try again. They all kind of quietly prayed as they shook
the box, which was funny to me given that they were all divine beings. I was
pretty surprised by how into it they were all getting.
"This is rather fun, isn't it?"
"Indeed it is. Such merrymaking opportunities are sparse here, after all."
I turned around to see that a small table had appeared out of nowhere, and
the elderly couple (the space-time god and the world god) were calmly sipping
tea together. It was nice to see how calm they were together.
I suddenly heard a jingle, much like the level-up sound from a famous JRPG. I
turned around and found the source was Sousuke playing the trumpet.
"We got a, hic, winnerrr!"
"HELL YEAH!"
"Bweh..."
The lucky winner was none other than the beefy god of strength I'd seen
earlier. He proudly held his gold-tipped stick high, flexing and posing as he
basked in the limelight.
...Yeah, I'm just gonna pawn this guy off on Takeru. No way we're gonna be
able to handle him.
"It'll take them a while, dearie. Why don't you sit with us?"
"Oh, thanks..." I sat down, and Granny Tokie poured a cup of tea for me. The
tea stalk in it was floating upright, a sign of luck. That being said, I'd noticed that
whenever a god had poured me a cup of tea, that had happened... Was that
perhaps just something that gods could do?
I sighed quietly, dispelling such strange ruminations as I drank my tea. It really
hit the spot.
Man... Please, don't let any weird ones draw the lucky lots...
"I am afraid I cannot interfere, my boy."
"...I know..."
Damn it, my thoughts got read again... Aw heck