"I do hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I am sorry to say that you are
dead."
"I see."
The old man bowed his head before me. There we were, in a sea of clouds.
They stretched out as far as the eye could see, perhaps even farther than that.
Amidst it all, we sat together on a small square of tatami mats. Four and a half
tatami mats, to be precise. It was a simple little room, though that description
was a loose fit since it lacked both walls and a roof, and was floating in the
clouds. It was furnished with a small tea table, a set of drawers, an old CRT TV,
and an old-fashioned telephone. It was all very classic, if nothing else.
But all that aside, back to Lord God. Or at least, the man who claimed to be
God. This God guy claimed that I had died in some accident of his making. But
honestly, for a dead man, I certainly didn't feel very lifeless.
As I remembered, rain suddenly started pouring while I was on my way home
from school. I was taking a detour through the local park, at which point I was
assaulted by a blinding light and a thunderous roar.
"I am afraid to say that I have made a bit of a blunder when I dropped some
lightning into the world below. Truly, I am sorry about my mistake. I never
intended for it to strike anyone... the chances of it happening are so low to
begin with! Really, I cannot apologize enough."
"So the lightning scored a critical hit, which killed me? Well, that makes sense.
So... is this Heaven, then?"
"Ah, no. This is actually far above Heaven. It is where all the Gods live. You
could call it the Divine Realm, I suppose. I actually had to summon you here
myself. Humans ordinarily cannot ever hope to come here, you see. Now, um,
Mo... Mo-chi-zu-ki..."
"Ah, Mochizuki. Mochizuki Touya. Touya's my given name."
"Yes, yes, young Touya." Old Man God addressed me as he poured us both a
cup of tea.
Oh, look at that. My tea stalk's upright. Lucky me, I thought.
"Young Touya, are you not a tad too calm in this situation? You are very much
dead. I had thought you would have been more panicked, or perhaps even
furious."
"I'm a dead man talking. Quite frankly, I'm having a hard time believing this is
even real. Still, what's done is done. No use pointing fingers over it."
"That is a rather philosophical outlook."
Even so, I never thought I'd die at fifteen... I sipped my tea as that thought
crossed my mind. Ah, delicious.
"So, what happens next? Heaven or Hell, which way are you sending me?"
"Oh, no. Perish the thought! This was all my fault, and I will gladly take
responsibility for that. You'll be resurrected in a moment, don't you worry
about that. But..." God stumbled over his words for a moment.
I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong.
"I can certainly restore you to life, but I cannot simply place you back where
you came from. There are rules about this kind of thing, you understand? Once
again, allow me to profusely apologize for this situation... Now, to the point."
"Go on," I said, encouragingly.
"It is possible to grant you a life in a different world. A chance to begin anew,
so to speak. Of course, I will understand if you don't like the idea, but—"
"Sounds good to me."
"...It does?" Finding his endless apology cut short, God's face was now almost
comically blank.
"If that's the way it has to be, then that's all there is to it. I'm honestly just
happy I get another chance, so that's fine by me."
"You truly are an amazing young man... You definitely could have made
something of yourself if you were still alive down there... Please forgive my
carelessness." Poor old God looked very downtrodden indeed. I was very close
to my own grandfather, so it felt a bit bad for me as well.
I knew it was silly, but I definitely empathized with him. Besides, I was talking
to God of all people. I had never been very religious, but I wasn't so stupid as to
get up and start yelling at the guy, demanding he make everything right again. I
did feel very sad about never being able to see my family or friends ever again,
but that wasn't something that could be fixed by blaming God. My granddad
told me to be a good person, the kind of person who forgave other people
when they made mistakes. By all accounts, Gods were people as well. Probably.
"At least allow me to make it up to you somehow. I am permitted to grant
you small favors like that... Does anything come to mind?"
"Hm... well, you've kind of put me on the spot here." Being able to go home
would be nice, but that was against the rules. As such, I had no choice but to
think of something else. Something that could be of use to me in the new
world.
"The world you're sending me to... what kind of place is it?"
"Ah, in comparison to your world it is not quite as developed as of yet. Hm...
your world was the one with the Middle Ages, correct? I suppose it is close to
that level, on a societal standpoint. Well, half of it at least! It varies a bit by
location."
Well... that was certainly a drop as far as quality of life was concerned.
Hearing that made me feel a little worried. Could I really survive just being
thrown into that kind of landscape unawares, left to fend for myself? Oh, that's
it, I realized.
"Uhm, there is one thing."
"Oh? There is? State it and I will see what can be done."
"This, can you make it so I can still use it while I'm over there? " I produced
the item I desired from my uniform pocket. An object akin to a small metal
board, the device known as the all-powerful cellular telephone! Well, really, it
was just my smartphone.
"That is all? Well, I do suppose it is possible... I would have to impose some
restrictions on its usage, however, if that is acceptable."
"What kind?"
"You will not be able to directly communicate with anyone through it. In
simpler terms, I should say that you cannot use it to interact with your old
world. No texting, no posting to websites, and no outgoing calls. However, you
will still be able to observe, browse, and use search functions and whatnot.
What else... Oh, I will give you my telephone number as well."
"Sounds good to me." All the information from my old world would make for
a powerful weapon. I didn't exactly know how at the time, but I was sure that it
would prove useful.
"I will link the battery directly to your magic so as to keep it charged at all
times. You will not have to worry about it running out of power."
"Sorry, did you just say magic? Are you telling me that the people in my new
world can cast spells and stuff?"
"Well, yes. Fear not, you should be able to use it freely in due time."
I was going to become a wizard. Amazing. I was really going to become a
wizard as I started off a life in another world.
"All right, then. We should really see to getting you back on your feet now,
eh?"
"Thank you for all of this, really."
"Not at all. This whole situation was a result of my mistake to begin with. Ah,
speaking of which, one last thing." God gently raised his arm out toward me. I
was wrapped in a warm, gentle light for a moment.
"It would be quite tragic indeed were you to die again immediately after
being revived, so I have given all of your basic abilities a small boost. Your body
will be stronger, your mind sharper, and so on. Either way, it should be
considerably harder for you to die this time around. Well, unless some silly old
God drops lightning on your head!" The kindly old coot smiled wryly. And I
found myself smiling too.
"I will be unable to do much for you directly once you are down in the world
below. So just consider that a little present from me."
"Thanks again."
"I may not be able to interfere with the lower realms too much, but I can
always offer you advice should you require it." God pointed at my phone as he
spoke.
This was a bit of a tough one. I couldn't exactly call God every evening asking
how to do this or that, so I figured I should hold off on calling him unless the
situation was particularly serious.
"Well then, until next time." God saw me off with a saintly smile, and I
blacked out in an instant.