I took the day to go and visit the guild's reading room, so that I could read
through the Monster Encyclopedia they had. With Linze's help, my literacy had
improved substantially.
In my world, a Monster Encyclopedia would be like one big book full of
mythological creatures and plots for kaiju movies. It was a really fun read.
There were entries for all different kinds of monsters, magic beasts, spirits,
and even Heavenly Beasts, each with their own detailed illustrations. However,
there were some that lacked illustrations, which I assumed meant they were asyet unidentified.
Out of all the monsters in the world, the ones I could find the least
information on were Dragons.
Dragons were monsters, yet not monsters. That alone already made them a
different kind of lifeform. It was written that the optimal means of dealing with
a Dragon was to run away. It seemed like they were considered the strongest
things around even in this world... Not that my old one actually had any real
Dragons.
The guild didn't allow anyone to check any books out of the building. If you
really wanted to refer back to anything you'd read, then you just had to note it
down. I, however, had the ultimate ally in the form of my smartphone.
I used my smartphone's camera to photograph all of the pages containing info
on any local monsters. It was so that I could refer back to it later to look up any
of their behavioral traits, valuable body parts, and general points of notice.
Don't try doing this at home, folks. I'd have been fine simply copying the pages
with my [Drawing] spell, but the room was protected by a barrier preventing
any spells from being cast. These sorts of books were apparently pretty
valuable, so it was entirely plausible that some people had tried to use magic to
steal them in the past. I didn't really mind just photographing the pages instead,
since it took up less room that way anyway in addition to being far easier to sort
through.
I also found books with details on demi-humans. It surprised me to find out
that this world even had demonkin in it, which were a separate thing from
actual demons.
One major difference was that these demonkin weren't inherently evil.
Instead, they seemed somewhat similar to demi-humans.
Really, the term demonkin in this context referred to things such as vampires,
werewolves, alraunes, lamias, and ogres. These races weren't immediately
hostile to humans in the way that monsters were, but they didn't exactly seem
to be on good terms, either. Most of these so-called demonkin apparently kept
to themselves in a place known as Xenoahs, the Demon Kingdom, far to the
north. They rarely ever approached countries inhabited by humans.
I couldn't be sure whether they were being isolated or whether they were
deliberately staying out of the way of humans... But, well, even beastmen were
discriminated against. Demons seemed like they'd have it even worse than that.
One thing I found interesting was the difference between werewolves and
wolf beastmen. Basically, a wolf beastman was like a human, except they had
wolf ears and a tail. A werewolf was a human-sized wolf standing on its hind
legs, with five-fingered hands and five-toed feet. In other words, werewolves
still had the faces of wolves.
Also, werewolves didn't transform under moonlight or anything. They wore
clothes and could still talk just like any other demi-human.
Still, between a human with wolf ears and a man with the face of a wolf, I
could see the former being accepted among a human community far more
easily. Though if we shared languages and could still communicate with them,
then physical appearances didn't seem like such a big deal to me.
Other types of demi-humans included winged races, fairies, aquatic races,
horned races, dragonfolk, elves, and dwarves.
Even beastmen could be further divided into sub-types like dog or fox, so it
felt pretty difficult to grasp just how many different kinds of demi-humans
there were.
Looking at a world map taught me that while the world was fairly big, its
climate was a complete patchwork mess. Countries didn't get colder in the
north or hotter in the south, or follow any kind of consistent logic like that.
This climate was said to be caused by the spirits dwelling in the lands, but the
details were unknown. Hell, I couldn't even be sure that the world was even
spherical like Earth. It wasn't secretly being held up from beneath by elephants
or turtles or anything like that, right? I was surprised yet again to find out that
there were completely accurate world maps. Then again, even without blimps
or planes, there were still winged demi-humans and probably even magic
allowing for human flight, so it wasn't actually that strange.
Oh, time's up... The guild charged extension fees if you used their services for
too long, so I closed up the book and decided it was time to leave.
There were a bunch of adventurers talking in front of the request board when
I returned to the first floor. More than there would normally be at this time of
day. Was it because it was the weekend? I made my own way over to the
request board to see if there were any exceptionally good jobs available or
anything, though I had no real intention of accepting any.
We had decided to take the day off since Elze was feeling "under the
weather." It must've been tough dealing with... girl problems like that. Even my
[Recovery] spell had no effect. Probably because it wasn't classified as an
abnormal status condition, or so I figured. If anything, that kind of pain was
proof that her body was functioning properly.
I had been looking over the request board when I heard angry yelling coming
from outside.
Guild offices typically stood next to bars, most of which also stayed open
throughout the day. They mainly sold light meals during the day, but they still
served alcohol regardless of the time.
There was also a larger inn than the Silver Moon fairly nearby, and its guests
would frequent the bar due to the convenient location.
All of those things combined meant that there were drunkards out and about
at all times of day. It should go without saying, but most people who did just
want a light meal wouldn't usually go to a bar for one. That much was obvious.
I'd only ever been in the place a handful of times at most. I didn't drink
alcohol, and I hated having to deal with drunkards.
The high number of drunkards also meant that loud arguments were a
common thing. People inside the guild building had gotten used to it, with it
maybe arousing a few complaints at most. Under normal circumstances, at
least. It was a different story when you could hear the sounds of clashing steel.
I ended up leaving the guild office to join the crowd of onlookers. Out in front
of the bar, two adventurers were glaring at each other red with anger. One was
a bald-headed bearded man, and the other had a mohawk and a long face. Both
of them already had their swords out.
"What's going on? A duel?" They had their swords drawn in the middle of the
road, so it wasn't just your average scuffle. Worst case scenario, someone could
end up dead.
Honestly, it wasn't my first time witnessing a duel. Typically a duel went the
way of stating your name and the reason for the duel, and then you get the
consent of the other party. After that had been established, outsiders would
refrain from butting in. But this wasn't anything as sophisticated as a duel. Just
a pair of drunkards at each other's throats. Neither of them had any acting
witnesses, so it was clearly no formal altercation.
The townsfolk were treating them like a pair of pests, too. If it wasn't a duel,
then a patrolling knight would probably be around to stop it before long.
"...How stupid. They should at least take their fight somewhere out of
everyone's way."
"Alright, where's the smartass that said that?!" The bearded baldy turned in
my direction, looking like he was about to blow a gasket. Seemed he'd
overheard me.
The other onlookers moved out of the way like a sea being parted. Every last
one of them fled as if explicitly telling me not to get them wrapped up in it.
Dang, that's cold.
"Were you the one that called us stupid?!"
"He called us what?!"
"No, I said that what you were doing was stupid. I didn't mean to personally
offend either of you by it..." I made a small attempt to explain myself. It was
true that I thought they were a pair of idiots, though.
"Hold on... You're that brat who joined the guild recently, the one that's
always bein' followed around by a buncha girls! You've been pissin' me off for a
while now, y'know that?! You tryin' to show off how popular you are? You
makin' fun of the rest of us?! Well, are ya?!"
"Yeah, Mr. Bigshot! Unlike you, there're some real adventurers out here
putting our lives on the line! The guild ain't your playground, so go screw
around somewhere else!"
"...I see. So being an adult means getting drunk and hacking away at each
other with your swords in the middle of town? It really does make me look like
the childish one when you put it that way, doesn't it?" I ended up spitting out
some sarcasm after what those guys said annoyed me a little.
Don't lecture people for being childish when you're going around picking fights
with literal children. That's about as immature as you can get.
The two men who had been fighting mere moments ago united in their
hostility toward me instead. Apparently they saw me as a common threat.
"Bastard... You've got real guts, you know that? Feel like finding out what
color they are, do ya?!" The bearded baldy moved toward me. There were veins
bulging on his forehead. He was over two meters tall, so I ended up having to
crane my neck to meet his gaze.
The man before me had muscles like a pro wrestler. Plus, his behavior gave
the impression that he was a real nasty guy. But in all honesty, I wasn't
intimidated in the slightest. I had memories of being yelled at by my late
grandfather that were far scarier than the guy in front of me. When I realized
that, I accidentally let a laugh slip out.
"You son of a...!" As I thought, the guy hesitated to draw his sword on me.
Instead, he swung his massive left fist straight toward my face.
Yup, I can read his every move. I tilted my head to the right a little and cleanly
avoided his punch.
Using my opponent's momentum against him, I grabbed hold of his arm and
pulled in order to break his balance before sweeping his legs out from under
him. The bearded baldy who'd come charging at me dived straight to the
ground in a single breath. Alright, I managed to pull it off. Glad I got Yae to
teach me how to do that.
"C'mere, brat!" This time the mohawk rushed at me with his sword. You
shouldn't point sharp things at other people.
"[Slip]."
"Ghwah?!" I knocked down the crazy mohawk guy using my trip-up spell,
making the sword go flying out of his hand in the process. I picked the sword up
and, very carefully so as not to get noticed, cast [Modeling] to bend its shape
with my hands as though it were made of rubber. This spell made me able to
change the shape of any material in front of me into something else. Any
complex new shapes or sculptures took a lot of time, but something simple was
a piece of cake.
I threw the bent sword back down in front of the mohawk guy.
"What?! Eep!!!" Mohawk guy let out a squeal of terror as he crawled away.
Seemed like he was so scared that he couldn't even stand. He probably thought
that I had superhuman strength after a display like that.
"You goddamned...!" This time the bearded baldy came charging at me from
behind, swinging his sword down on me without a shred of mercy. Does nobody
around here have any manners? I sidestepped to avoid the bearded baldy's
attack and moved behind him, sweeping at his legs from the back this time.
"Ngwuh?!" He let out a grunt after falling backward and hitting the back of his
head against the ground. He probably had a minor concussion. He was already
drunk, but was now unable to even keep his head straight as it bobbed from
side to side.
I picked up the bearded baldy's sword and worked my spell on it, same as
with the mohawk guy's. The man went pale as he watched his sword being bent
out of shape before his very eyes.
"D-Dammit! I'll get you for this!" With the parting words of a two-bit thug,
both of the idiots ran away.
Don't go around being an angry drunkard in the middle of the day, for
heaven's sake. You're making trouble for everyone around.
"Hey, you gonna be alright, man?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Not like they managed to actually hit me." One of the
onlookers showed what appeared to be concern for my well-being, so I waved
my hand to show him I was just fine.
"No, not like that... I mean, those guys were with the Steel Fangs and Poison
Snakes, right? They'll probably bring a whole bunch of scary guys to get back at
you." Steel Fangs? Poison Snakes? I don't get it. As it turned out, they were a
pair of adventuring parties that happened to be somewhat well-known in the
area. Not that I'd ever heard of them. We never really interacted with other
parties outside of our own. And we didn't have any reason to hang out around
the bars, either. I guess we were short on local knowledge thanks to little things
like that. From what I'd heard, the Steel Fangs and Poison Snakes were both
parties mainly composed of Blue-rank adventurers.
We were a party of Green-rank adventurers, so technically both of them
outranked us.
Your Guild Rank rose based on the points you'd earned from completing
requests, and it went up starting from Black-rank, going up through Purple,
Green, Blue, Red, Silver, and Gold, in that order. This didn't mean that higher
ranking people were more amazing by default, but naturally, ascending through
the ranks got harder and harder the more you rose through them.
It got so difficult to attain the highest ranks that almost nobody ever made it
to Silver, let alone Gold. Hell, there was only a single person in the whole world
who currently held the status of Gold adventurer. It took an absurd amount of
points even just to rise from Red to Silver.
That's why Red-rank adventurers were generally considered to be some of
the best around. The ones below them in Blue-rank were generally considered
Veterans for the most part.
...Neither of those guys just now had seemed very veteran to me, though.
They were both stupidly weak. Then again, them being a higher rank was a
separate issue from how strong they actually were.
I honestly didn't believe that either of those parties had so much free time
that they'd bother coming back for revenge or anything of the sort. Quarrels
between adventurers was practically an everyday occurrence, and it wasn't like
I'd seriously injured either of them.
At that time, I had no way of knowing just how wrong I was...
"Care to explain what you've gone and done, would you kindly, Touya-dono?"
"Well, I don't really recall doing anything that would get us in this kind of
situation..." The next day, following right after Elze, Linze started having her
own "girl problems," so I went with Yumina and Yae to the eastern forest on a
hunting quest.
Our target was a monster called a Wind Fox — a fox that attacked with blades
of wind like a kamaitachi youkai. I thought that myth was about a weasel spirit?
Why the hell is it a fox in this world?
We had defeated the monster without any trouble whatsoever and cut off its
tail for proof when we were suddenly surrounded by a group of mean-looking
adventurers.
"Hey there, brat. We've come to pay you back for yesterday." Among the
group of adventurers, there was one that I recognized. It was the bearded baldy
who had been causing a bunch of trouble on the street in front of the bar the
other day.
Huh? Is this what I think it is? Did all of these guys seriously come here for a
petty reason like that?
"...Hmm... So basically, you were so embarrassed yesterday that you brought
all your friends along thinking to teach me a lesson, is that about right? Picking
on a kid I can brush off as immature, but this is just pathetic."
"Shut the hell up! If I just left things as they were, it'd be like smearing mud all
over our reputation! I'm gonna show you what it means to pick a fight with the
Steel Fangs!" The adventurers around the bearded baldy all smirked as they
readied their weapons. There were quite a few of them. One, two, three, four...
Nine in total. Seemed like the Steel Fangs were a fairly large group after all.
"Bringing a whole group of people to settle a score with someone makes you
a pathetic excuse for a man — no, a pitiful outline of human-shaped scum.
Touya, what's the plan here?" Geez, Yumina, even trash has feelings. I mean,
look at poor old bearded baldy. Being lambasted by a twelve-year-old girl is
making him red in the face. Look at the steam rising from him, I could probably
cook an egg on his head! I was surprised by the backbone on Yumina. Quite
honestly, I thought she'd be a bit more scared in these types of situations. I
guess she wasn't just a princess for show.
"Well, in this case it's justified self-defense, so I think we can afford to go a
little overboard just so long as we don't actually kill anyone."
"Indeed. Fellows of this sort are utterly abhorrent, they are." Yae drew her
sword and turned the blade around to face the blunt side at the enemy. Upon
seeing her motion, the Steel Fangs made their move.
Before they could even reach us, one of Yumina's arrows pierced one man's
right shoulder.
"Urgh!" The moment the man dropped his weapon, I got right up close and
pressed my fingertip against him.
"[Paralyze]."
"Hrngh?!" With my magical paralysis sapping all the strength from his body,
the man collapsed on the spot.
"C'mere you little...!" A man wielding hatchets in both hands came charging
at me, swinging his weapons around wildly, but there was absolutely no edge to
any of his movements. Maybe it was because I had started training with Yae
recently, but it looked like he was moving in slow motion.
Finding the first suitable opening between his attacks, I rushed in and
punched him in the stomach while activating [Paralyze] yet again. Just like the
first guy, this one dropped to the ground with a thud.
[Paralyze] was a great spell for rendering an opponent harmless, but it had a
large weakness in that it required me to make physical contact with the target.
In addition, if the enemy had a magic-defense talisman of any kind on them,
then regardless of how weak that talisman was, [Paralyze] would have no
effect.
Though talismans, even the weakest ones available, sold for quite a high
price, so there weren't many who were likely to just casually have one on them.
"Strike forth, Earth! The Fool's Abyss: [Pitfall]!"
"Arrghhhhh...!!!"
"Noooooo...!" I glanced behind me to see Yumina casting an Earth-type pitfall
spell. Given that the men's voices were literally echoing as they fell, it had to be
a pretty deep one... Would they be okay after a fall like that? "Hrgh!"
"Gwah...?!" To the side, Yae had already knocked two men down with the
blunt side of her sword and was busy dealing with a third. By that point, the
Steel Fangs had already lost their numerical advantage, leaving us with just the
bearded baldy and two other men.
"Th-This is ridiculous...! We're Blue-rank adventurers! Why are we struggling
so much against a bunch of brats like this...?!" Again with the rank stuff, huh? I
didn't know how long they'd been running around doing guild quests, but given
enough time wouldn't just about any semi-capable person reach Blue-rank
without any real trouble? With a large number of party members and accepting
nothing but simple requests, you could slowly but steadily earn points and rise
through the ranks that way. On the other hand, that method would only take
you so far. If you really wanted to aim for Red-rank or higher, it would take
forever.
In the end, all it meant was that there was no real correlation between one's
Guild Rank and one's actual abilities. At least for those below Red-rank, anyway.
Getting to Red-rank or higher seemed like it required actual skill and ability, or
else you'd likely never make it that far.
"Mrgh?!"
"Ugaaah!!!" Yae took out another two men, leaving just the bearded baldy
facing off against the three of us.
"What a pain. You guys are still adventurers, even if in name only, right?
Aren't you ashamed of yourselves for picking a serious fight against a group of
kids?"
"Shut the hell up, you snot-nosed brat! You're dead for th—!"
"Oh, shush already. [Paralyze]."
"Gfhuuh?!" I didn't feel like going through the same conversation all over
again, so I knocked the guy down with a swift application of magic. There was
no point trying to reason with thugs like him. Even if you fended them off once
or twice, they would probably just keep coming back for more.
In which case, the only way to truly drive them off was to utterly crush their
spirits. Heheheh...
"I do believe this is rather overdoing it, do you not think...?" Yae muttered a
bit to herself as she averted her gaze, her cheeks flushed red.
"Really? They go around as a group ganging up on people, so surely they were
prepared for something like this to happen to them one day, don't you think?" I
had erected nine posts by the side of the highway leading toward Reflet, and
dangling by the ankles from each post was a stripped-naked member of the
Steel Fangs.
To complete the display, I had put up a sign that said "We're the adventuring
party called the Steel Fangs! Currently recruiting new members."
"Say cheese!" I took a photo of them with my smartphone, then cast
[Drawing] to transfer the image onto paper. When I showed that image to the
Steel Fang losers, they started crying and whimpering through their mouth
gags.
"If you keep bothering us, I'll spread this image all through the streets of
Reflet... No, I think I'll post it up all around the capital for everyone to see. If
you're fine with that, feel free to come pick more fights with us. I've still got
plenty of punishments in mind, you know?" I let out a deliberately evil
"Heheheh..." as I called out to the men. With that threat still lingering in the air,
I smiled as innocently as possible and delivered the finishing blow.
"...Next time you try anything like this, I'll slice the tip right off with a razor
blade." The thought alone was too much to bear, so one man wet himself. As he
was hanging upside down, he ended up soiling his own whole body.
Yumina and Yae naturally found the whole thing a bit too much, and stood
with their backs to the scene the whole time. Even so, they clearly understood
what was going on.
"You're really merciless today. Did you need to go that far?"
"Don't you get it? The next thing guys like this tend to do is go after anything
they might see as my weakness. That could mean them trying to kidnap one of
you or hold you hostage. I definitely don't want to see that happen, so I'm
crushing their spirits so badly that they won't even consider the idea." This fight
was my problem and mine alone. I didn't want to get Yumina or the others
involved any further. Anyone who would dare lay a finger on my precious
companions didn't deserve any mercy, even as a second thought. "When you
crush someone, make sure they're crushed utterly and thoroughly." That was
something my grandpa taught me.
...Wait a second. That other guy from yesterday's fight belonged to a different
party, didn't he? The Poison Snakes, I think it was. Wait... don't tell me...
"[Gate]!!!" I had a bad feeling about things, so I opened up a [Gate] straight
to the Silver Moon and took Yumina and Yae back with me immediately.
We stepped out of the [Gate] and stood outside the Silver Moon.
What we found was a group of seven unconscious men in the middle of the
street.
I recognized one of the guys on the ground. It was that stupid mohawk guy.
Wait, did that mean these guys were Poison Snakes?
What in the world...?
"Oh, welcome back. That sure was fast."
"Howdy there, Touya." Welcoming us back were the master of the Silver
Moon Inn, Dolan, and the owner of the Weapon Shop, Barral. The two of them
were sitting on a bench out front of the Silver Moon, playing a quiet little game
of shogi with a pile of unconscious men right next to them.
"What happened here?"
"Well see, these guys came marching up while we were playing shogi and
demanded I bring Elze and Linze out immediately. I told them the girls weren't
feeling well and to go away, but they went and barged right on into the place. I
flipped on 'em and it ended up like this."
"We sparred with them a little an' they just up and collapsed on us. Didn't
even put up much of a fight. Y'sure these guys're even adventurers?" Barral
muttered. I looked down at the Poison Snake guys, completely dumbfounded. I
found myself pretty surprised by how strong Dolan and Barral were. Geez...
That said, both of them were built pretty well, and they worked at an inn and
a weapon shop respectively, so they were probably used to dealing with toughguy types. If they couldn't fit the job, then they could easily go out of business.
"So what's the deal with them, anyhow?"
"Er... Well, I think they came to settle a score with me. Probably planned to
hold the girls hostage or something..."
"What, so they were a gaggle of human garbage, then? In that case, we
should've roughed them up a little more." Dolan clicked his tongue as he said
that. Micah came out front shortly afterward. She had an annoyed expression
on her face. Well, that was understandable. There was a bunch of trash outside
her inn, after all.
"Oh darn it, this is nothing but a nuisance. Touya, it's your fault these guys are
here, right? Could you do something about this?"
"Oh, uh, sure. Just a second." I knew instinctively not to try arguing given the
situation. I used [Power Rise] to pick up all the unconscious men, then I tossed
them through a [Gate].
Back out on the highway, I strung the Poison Snakes up the same way as the
Steel Fangs — bare naked and by the ankles. They came to their senses and
noticed their pitiful state immediately.
When they then noticed the Steel Fangs hanging up opposite them, they went
completely pale.
I did the whole routine a second time, putting up a signboard, taking a photo,
and scaring the living daylights out of them.
They tried to scream about something, but I didn't give a damn. They could
stay there all week repenting for all I cared.
From what I heard later, it seemed that Dolan and Barral were both formeradventurers. Both of them reached Blue-rank, but never made it to Red. Though
since they were both solo adventurers, that was still mighty impressive.
I couldn't get over the fact that those losers were the same rank that Dolan
and Barral used to be. Adventurers really did come in all shapes and sizes.
You couldn't judge a book by its cover... except Dolan and Barral were both
exactly as strong as they looked? One was a red-haired giant of a man and the
other was built like a bear, after all...
I ignored the hanging dimwits and returned to the Silver Moon through my
[Gate].
"Hmm, sounds like you've been keeping yourself busy." Back in full health,
Elze was getting a story about the other day's events from Yae and Yumina.
Linze wasn't quite back to her usual self yet, but it didn't seem so bad
anymore, so she joined us at the dinner table.
"Still, that was a sight I shall not be forgetting anytime soon, I won't. You
should have seen the look on Touya-dono's face the moment he thought that
Elze-dono and Linze-dono were in trouble."
"He looked dead serious, didn't he? It was almost frightening." Oh c'mon,
haven't you talked enough about that already? Finding myself getting all
fidgety, I downed the rest of my fruit juice in one gulp.
"Hmmmm? Did you get all worried about us when you thought we were in
trouble, didja?" Elze closed in on me, no doubt to tease me about the whole
thing even more. Now see here, you...
"Of course I was worried. Felt like my heart was going to burst when I thought
that something might have happened to you. Dolan and Barral saved the day
this time, but if they hadn't been here and something had happened to you
two, I'm pretty sure I'd have done something unspeakable to those thugs."
"H-Huh? Oh, i-is that so..."
"Ah..." Elze and Linze both turned their faces downward, red as tomatoes.
Huh? Was it something I said?
"Touya, what if it had been me or Yae in danger? Would you have reacted the
same way for us?"
"Well yeah, of course I would. Both you and Yae are my precious companions.
I'd go to any lengths to save you if you were ever in trouble."
"I-Is that so, is it...?"
"That's my Touya!" This time Yae turned her bright red face downward, while
Yumina shot a beaming bright smile at me. What the hell's up with this mood...?
Ah, whatever.
"C-Come to think of it, those two parties seem to have broken up after what
you did, Touya-dono. All of their members also skipped town as if fleeing from
some horrible monster, they did." Well yeah, that was a pretty natural reaction.
I had pretty much expected that to happen when I went and did those horrible
things to them. Though it did make me somewhat infamous in the process. That
didn't really bother me so much, since it meant that less people were likely to
target us.
Those parties weren't particularly liked among the guild members either, so
nobody filed any complaints against me or anything of the sort. As a general
rule, the guild didn't involve itself in conflicts between adventurers.
"I never thought you were capable of such nasty things."
"You reduced two groups of men to tears, you did... It was quite the offputting sight, it most certainly was."
"I understand that villains of that sort need to be thoroughly taught a lesson
lest they try something even more foolish, but even so..."
"I still think... that sounds like a bit much..." Linze gave me a fairly rigid little
smile.
No, see, it's not like that, right? I felt like someone needed to teach them a
lesson... No, phrasing it that way still makes me sound like a villain... Hrm... I did
it so that they'd never try something stupid like that ever again...? Right, it was
to protect me and my friends! I psychologically tortured them into submission
for the sake of protecting my friends! I derived no sadistic pleasure from it
whatsoever!
...I'm not lying, okay?