I reach home and keep a straight face till I reach my room. My cat Lisa was sitting on the sofa. 'Look down, you unworthy human!' she seemed to say, she would've if she could do so. Cats are such bizarre creatures and I often wonder why humans adore them so much, but when I look at Lisa, I can't help but be mesmerized by her cuteness.
I straight up changed and went to my bed after looking at Lisa for some time. I couldn't sleep for a while but then Lisa immediately jumped on the bed and laid beside me. I pet her for some time and fall asleep.
After waking up, I take a shower and return to the book. How am I supposed to understand poetry? How do I find her? How do I handle this? How do I keep myself sane? How do I prevent myself from dying when I see her? These were all the questions endlessly strangling the neck of my brain, but I head for it.
An Advice
'Afore you shall get in the quest;
I shall make you for all things prest.
None has achieved what they seek;
By avoiding their own dest.
So try and keep yourself committed,
And don't let loose yourself astray.
Indeed in suffering lies endless glee;
And in this life, we shall be held able.
Writing on the last page, you shall try;
If you ever find yourself near a cry.
Some tears don't always come from the eyes,
They are at times excluded by heart.'
This poem was really simple, unlike how I thought it to be. All I could make is that I'd get a reply from this old guy's assistant if I ever find myself 'near a cry'. I shall do that, for I'm always near a cry.
I open the next page and I don't regret a single word.
Meaning
'Indeed for the world is to yearn for knowledge,
Of the physical and the metaphysical.
None can reach the higher state, for which our soul yearns.
And you have been chosen by the cosmos itself,
To get a drop of that metaphysical test.
Surely, you'd get lost sometimes, with no one but you.
But remember the One that never lost you;
But you lost Him, or did you?
Seek light in the room where there's never been light,
Seek love from the Devil that never experienced Love.
Seek curiosity in the city of nothingness;
For one can seek meaning, even in the sinking sun.'
I don't know if I should take this literally or metaphorically. Indeed it was a great read but it's hard to make something out of it.
I decided to start out by taking this in a literal sense, by practically finding the room that never experienced light. When I got to school, I skipped my evening sports class by taking the morning one instead and lurking around the school. I saw nothing special during my little session, but I, fortunately, found Professor Ali–our French teacher–with both of his hands on his shoulders and squatting.
'Bonjour Shelly, yu alghight?' He said while squatting.
'Yes sir, I'm alghi- alright.'
'Yu having a little tukh of the school, aghnt'ya chap?' Still squatting.
'Yes sir, wanted some solitary time.'
'Noice, Noice.' Still squatting.
I bade him goodbye when he said something.
'Can yu do a little something?' He said while aggressively squatting.
'Sure sir.'
'There's a room at just the end of yokh section with Sheel wkhitten on its dokh. I want yu to bkhing a book put on the only table by me with the 'Little Things' title on its spine. It's quite dark in thegh so be caghful.' Finally ending the squatting
'Sure sir.'
I finally headed there and found most of our professors on the way. I greeted them with pleasure.
'The room, the room…ah!|here it is.' I cry out in joy because I stood there finding Sheel, which was written in the top-left corner in tiny letters. I enter and immediately noticed that this room has never seen light for ages. Along with all sorts of insects that dwelt in such a place, there was a girl with familiar hair–but hardly visible–sitting on the chair, crying.
She raises her head cluelessly and I stare at her for some time, still vague.
'Pardon, I just wanted to take that book.'
She sits silently and I just take the book and head back.
I thought I knew her, but due to little to no light, I couldn't see her face. She had blue eyes; that's the least I could make in that dimness. I scarcely know any people with blue eyes in my class. Most of them were girls, and so was this one.
Indeed, I tried to find her afterwards but couldn't. But I, at least, wanted to know who she was. I went back to the class and found myself with Draco in a minute.
'Did you hear that Elsa was found unconscious in the mornin'? I listened to a girl talking to her friend.
'I don't know what's going on with her, but I hope she'll get fine soon.' The other girl replied.
I immediately stand up from my seat and ask the girl about it.
'What's happened to her?'
'I don't know, she's been really quiet recently. I tried to talk to her about it but she doesn't seem to reply.'
'Does,' I stop for a moment. 'Does she have blue eyes?'
'Yes. But by the way, do you not know her?'
'No.'
'Shelly, seriously. She's been sitting behind you all along.'
'I didn't know her name.'
'Jeez, now you do.'
I again thank her and find myself with Draco once more.
'What's happened, Shelly?' Draco asks after leaving his essay.
I tell him how Sir Ali sent me to that room today and I found a girl there, and I just found out that she was Elsa. I still don't tell him about the book.
'Hmm, I wonder if she's having problems at her place.'
'Of course, silly.' I reply while still thinking about it with my head up in confusion.
I don't talk to anybody the rest of the day and Draco–as he is–understands that I'm lost in some deep thought. I eventually head home with Draco and on the way, we scarcely talk with each other. After getting my coffee, I say to Draco:
'Sheerly perplexed your friend is, Draco.'
'You like her, don't you?'
'O, c'mon now, you know I like Elizabeth.' I say while still maintaining that same face.
'And you didn't tell your friend 'bout that?'
'Wait, do you really not know that?' I ask, confusedly.
'Yes, sire. I don't.'
'I thought I told you.'
'Now you know you didn't.'
'Hmm.'
'Then why are you so worried about her?'
'Isn't it evident? I'm wondering why she was crying in a room which seemingly has never seen light-'
A realization struck me, so this is what the old man meant by the 'room that has never seen light'.
'What happened?' Asks Draco seeing my face.
'I just need to go home, Draco.'
'Sure do.'
I'm not in the least shocked by how late I figured it out; I've always been like that. Surely I'm always like that. Since when; I don't know.
I ascend the stairs and throw the bag—considering what I went through after that—like I've thrown away all of my patience, vigour, and value. I, seemingly relaxed and contented, am going through a phase when a person feels terrible.
I open my diary and start spilling gibberish on it. I couldn't help myself tearing even the thickest of pages during this expedition. After I'm done with this queer activity, I close the diary and never look at it again. It felt like I was bleeding on paper.
I open the wicked book and go on:
Man
'Man is never content with what he's seen;
That goes on even if he discovers the secret of the Universe.
O, imagine the agony a man of mind goes through,
When he realizes he's hopeless.
Yours is this the case, O! You who reads;
I shall give you a thought and not a way.'
Shall I ever find myself deeply indulged in philosophical matters; I shall remember this. I'm contented.
However, since I'm contented, it's another problem. Why am I contented? I shouldn't be so. She's crying somewhere I don't know. I don't know a thing about her but why do I feel this strange inclination; I don't know. I also don't know whether I know something. Perhaps that's why I'm writing gibberish. That's true though; I don't know where she lives.
I once again open the book; hoping to be even more contented.
TO BEAR
Have we but nothing if we don't have fate,
And we struggle to love and hate.
In staying far little lies one benefit;
Love doesn't find them capable and befit.
If fate shall want you to part, so be it.
And if it wants you to,
Suck out all the marrow of love,
Let be it, all the time, every time.
And when they kid you not and truly love;
Only then you shall say to them.
'Suffice is your one glance;
For I die for that, O Love!'