'But we all don't have a very good childhood or a good relationship with our parents. Take yourself for an example
Is this the new me and the new Kai?
The new us?
"Sam, what is going on between you and hot boss?" I turn to look at Angel and just let out a sigh.
"Nothing."
"Uhhh, don't tell me there is trouble in paradise?" She teases me making me groan and turning my head to glare at her deeply. "Can you not?"
"What can I not?"
"Please don't." She raises her hands in the air.
"I give up but before I do. I might just know the perfect way to cheer you on?" I am intrigued.
"What?"
"So there is this frat party going on at my school compound and I think you should come and get familiarized at the place there?" I frowned my brows at her.
"You want me to familiarize myself with the school compound by going to some random frat party?" I asked dryly.
This was not me wanting to put my frustrations and struggles on Angel or anything but I think going to some frat party should be the only last thing on my mind to consider doing at the moment.
"Don't keep aging for no reason frowning at it. It's fine if you don't want to come." I try to offer her a smile but fail at it miserably.
"Am not frowning."
I say and she gives me the look probably meant to say yes-you-are which I just ignore.
This past week, I can't say that I know anymore what the hell i am doing because I really don't.
One minute I was fine with Kai and the other I was throwing his soft spot in his face like I did.
I don't know, I don't know where it is coming from but I guess it's from the feeling of not wanting to lose him.
I don't want to lose him nor what we have so much that I don't know what the hell I am even doing.
"So you are heading to this frat party?" I ask and she nods her head at me.
"When are you leaving? I got everything else here, I don't want to hold you back for nothing."
She beams at me before she leans and kisses my cheek.
"You are the best, I was counting on you saying that." I roll my eyes but at least I am smiling.
"Am definitely telling Kai that you don't work and always leave the hard chores to me." She winks at me before sliding off the kitchen's stool.
"I know you won't and I tell you what, that's what I love you too for."
"Of course you do."
She cracks a laugh easily really making me wonder when had I had a laugh such as that one.
Easy and simple laugh.
I know am being beyond dramatic but some pain and hurt could make you wonder about things from different visions.
"Take care beautiful."
I listen before I confirm that she's left and welcome the same lonely house that I have been craving for the past few days.
I don't want anyone in my personal space anymore, it's been three days since my fight with Kai and twelve days since my sister's disappearance.
Since Sunday and Kai haven't talked to one another, we don't even sleep in the same room anymore.
I don't know what the future holds for us, I just know I don't want to deal with anything right now because I no longer feel like anything.
I sigh and neglect even washing the dishes I was going to wash and just walk to my room and take a shower before I take my laptop wanting to lose myself in Netflix except intruders find that so much to ask for apparently.
I reach for my ringing phone and slide to the answer button then I see Leila's face beaming at me.
"Baby hello."
Hey."
"Why do you sound and look so grumpy is it raining over there?" I frown.
"No," I answer Leila's ridiculous question.
"Then why do you sound sad? Did Kai dump you? Are you over with him? Should I fly over and shoot my shot with him already?" I try to laugh but fail miserably again.
"Well I think you should fly because we are on the road to that end soon."
"Sam, what happened?" I snort.
"Does it even matter?"
"Yes, look I don't know much about love nor relationships but what I do know is that you and Kai, Samantha I do know that it is you and Kai. I have no way of explaining you guys to you because you are just yourselves, I mean look at the way you found one another." That takes me back to the time I first saw him and I was over him thinking he was our chauffeur.
Boy, I knew I was going to fight so hard till I made him my driver only to realize he was not.
"The way you two bonded, the way you started your relationship, the way you trusted one another, I know you guys were meant to be Sam, you were meant to be with that guy. Don't you dare fool yourself even for a second because you also know that he is your soulmate? Don't you?" I can feel the tears picking up in my eyes from Leila's words.
I know we are.
"Answer me, Sam, don't you know?"
I sniffle back a cry. "I know."
"What do you know?"
"I know me and Kai are soulmates."
"Yes baby, you know it and he knows it too because you guys, you just love one another beautifully, your relationship was founded like none other relationship that I have ever heard of. Now tell me what is it between you guys? Can I help?" I want to cry because of Leila's words but I hold it back and just tell her all about my first fight with Kai.
"Oh baby Sam, you are scared for nothing." She says after I have finished telling her what happened.
"You realize you are being unfair to that poor fellow don't you?"
"Leila I don't know, I don't know I… I just need a guarantee. I mean you know how my twin sister, my family turned on me. I mean what makes me so sure that he won't do the same if he does not want to share with me his dark side with his mom."
"Look Sam i get it, I also would be pissed if I was in a relationship and someone was hiding shit about me but about wanting that to be your guarantee of your relationship that is so wrong. Relationships are not made by guarantees, and they are sure as hell not strengthened by baring on one another's secrets no, I don't think they work like that." I let out a frustration sigh.
Gosh, boy this is really so hard for me than I imagined.
"Look at me Sam, are you still there?"
"Yes."
"Okay listen, tell me do you love Kai?" That's a no-brainer.
"Yes."
"With all your heart, soul, and mind?"
"Yes Leila."
"Listen then I think the problem you have of treating him unfairly is of not trusting him to love you enough like you want so I tell you to trust your love then. You love him with all your heart, soul and mind trust that Sam. Look our families are people we are born with, we find them in our lives already picked out for us by fate. Them loving us or us loving them is mandatory sometimes the love and relationship between us work and other times they don't. Am sorry yours with your family didn't."
I smile wondering where she is going.
"But remember you chose Kai Sam, you saw him, liked him bared your soul to him, and fell in love with him. Trust your judgment of choosing him and your heart of falling in love with him to trust him that he will love you forever and believe in what you found in him that made you choose him.
If I have a vote or say in this, if this may help at all. I say trust him sam, that man is good and I believe he only has good intention and I don't know if you may want to hear this or not.
But we don't have a very good childhood or a good relationship with our parents. Take yourself for an example if it weren't for us who were in your life, would it be easier for you to open yourself up for anyone else? Am not saying to Kai you are anyone else no, am simply saying that opening up to our bad experiences takes time according to whoever or whatever hurt us." I can feel the weight and the truth behind Leila's words and taking them in, they eat me mercilessly as I think of what I did to Kai.
"Leila thank you," I say but am not able to hold the tears any longer.
"Baby don't cry, Sam Shhh. Ugh, it's at this moment I wish I had you with me. Sam don't cry, girl." I wish her words were enough to calm me but they are not.
I keep thinking of how hurtful I was to Kai and I can't seem to stop crying.
"Thank you, Leila." I manage to say to her one more time before I end the call and crawl into my bed and cry again my miseries.
I chose Kai for me.
I love him and he loves me.
Kai would never hurt me like my family did, no way.
He may have his flaws because no body is perfect and I do too, but I know he will never mistreat me.
What got into me?
Now how do I bring this back?
Do I still have a chance to win my man back or it's to late?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~