'I love you too darling, more than you will ever understand.'
"I haven't watched movies for like in fifteen years." He adds and my frown deepens.
I open my mouth trying to come up with what to ask but I realize I have no words to ask.
'What does he mean he hasn't watched movies for over fifteen years from now?'
Is it normal in my book? No.
I mean who doesn't watch movies once in a while?
It can not be a daily thing but come on once in a while, once in a few weeks not once in fifteen years!
Fifteen years? I really don't get and he has kept counting.
How ironic is that?
"Really, what do you mean by that? Help me to understand." I say turning to him. "You haven't watched movies for the past fifteen years?" I ask and he nods.
"And somehow you have kept counting the number of those past years?"
He smiles at me but I don't see anything meaning of happiness on his face.
"It's because I remember exactly the last movie that I watched and everything about it." He says the last part looks so lost like his mind is taking him to that memory.
And I can tell it is not a happy one.
So I clear my throat and ask.
"So you wouldn't watch it with me if I was to put one on?" I slowly ask. He turns to me leans in and kisses me on the forehead.
"For you, I would do anything." He says and I smile but I still feel the disbelief and questions in me.
Not liking songs can be normal but films? Is it possible?
I know for a fact that there is something that happened that made him stop watching them.
But he looks so fazed by it and I can tell that it's taking him to a painful past.
I guess it's a story for another day, when he has maybe put it behind him and now I know it's something am going to fight for and make it happen even though I don't know what it is.
But I do know that I don't want my man in pain or somehow held back.
The next day, we packed our things and flew back to the city.
As we get to part, Leila hugs me so tightly as they pull at my house.
"Thank you so much for the amazing time Sam." She says as we pull away and I smile at her.
"I love you." I manage to say and she nods. "I love you too." We hug again and Lucas gets out of the car and walks to me.
"Hug me too girl." He says and I chuckle at him.
I take him in a hug.
"Thank you." He says and I nod.
"Thank you too." We pull away and they walk back to the car.
I watch as they drive away before I walk back inside the house.
There is not anyone here because Yarrow told me they all went to pick up my grandparents visiting to spend the holidays with us at the airport.
We are celebrating Christmas Eve together with them tomorrow.
It has been like our traditional all the past years to be with them.
So now that we moved I guess it was only fair for them to have them come to us.
I wait for them in the living room and when they come, I walk out of the house.
"Grandma," I say running up to her as she is getting out of the car.
"My lily." I take her in my arms and hug her so tightly as I swing her from left to right. Oh, I missed her so much.
"Okay now pull back, I don't want any injuries on Christmas," Dad says and once we pull away Grandma turns to him.
"Oh my lord Barney, you haven't stopped exaggerating things." She teases and we all laugh at it.
"As you can see Mom, no." He says but I turn to Grandpa.
"Grandpa," I say and I hug him too so tightly, I don't know if it's about me but there is always a sense of home, a sense of comfort that is always there in my grandparents' hugs.
"Oh my beautiful grandchild."
"Hey, grandpa you didn't call me beautiful," Savannah whines once we pull away and we all laugh again.
We pull away and he kisses me on my forehead before he turns to Savannah.
"That's because you don't need a reminder. I think you shine like a star even in the morning when you wake up." She giggles.
"Ohhhh," I say.
"Look at you still having the lines to pick up on girls Grandpa." I tease and they laugh.
"Can you imagine really?" Grandma whines.
"Please, leave my grandpa alone because it's not like he lied. So chill guys." She says and we laugh.
Dad turns to his parents.
"This way guys."
He is carrying some of their baggage while others are carried by Yarrow.
They take them in and to their room before Dad comes back down and shows them around.
We all sit in the living room and grandparents ask us how we have been fitting in. It has been a long and roll coaster journey for some of us but I feel touched and like crying when Dad says that I have grown into a woman he never thought I would be.
"She has become someone we all weren't at her age."
"Oww." I can only manage to say that. I make a heart form on my hands and give it to him through air.
Grandma turns to poke me lightly. "I always knew my lily was something but simple." I smile at her too.
"Can we not forget how she also threw a fist of not wanting to come in the first place," Yarrow says and it makes me chuckle because that feels like ages ago.
"Oh my God, let's not forget about that too," I say smiling at the memory.
Oh my God, really what would have happened to me if I wasn't to come here?
I put on a huge fight thinking my life was over but somehow I have even lived than how I did back in America.
Grandma turns to me.
"Lily, really walk me through. What changed you here? What made you feel at peace with the place." I do not have to think about it much.
"The embassy. Real friends." She nods her head at me with a smile.
"How does the embassy influence you?" She looks around at everyone but I know the question is directed at me.
I shake my head with a smile as I tell her. "There is something that I find homely in that building. You just can't understand." I say with a dreamy smile on my face.
How can she understand?
They laugh at me but I don't blame them.
The night becomes a cheerful night with grandparents.
They tell us stories about their lives back in their home.
After we have shared with them how we have coped with a new life here.
It's when am getting ready to bed that my phone rings.
I reach for it and a smile instantly falls on my face.
"Hey, Kai," I say with a smile on my face.
"Hello, darling." Hearing his deep voice makes my heart ache because can you believe it if I was saying how much I miss him already?
"I miss you," I say to him and he chuckles at me.
Oh, I wish I was there in his arms feeling the vibration of his chest shaking while chuckling.
I don't know what this man is doing to me but it's dangerous.
We separated not so long ago, just after three in the afternoon and here I am feeling like crying because I miss him.
This trip screwed me, I felt so much like I was home to where I was.
It really is scary what is happening to me.
I don't feel much belonged to any other places where Kai is not at.
"Kai," I call through the phone and he hums in response.
"I feel scared."
"Of what darling?" I hear how calm he sounds as he asks and it somehow makes me want to laugh at myself.
'Is it maybe because he's done it before or is it because he is older?' Either way, I don't know.
"Am scared of what you are doing to my heart," I confess in a small voice, feeling like I want to keep it as confidential as I can, even from the person am sharing it from.
There is a moment of silence that makes me start to wonder if he heard me.
"Are…." I get interrupted.
"Don't you feel safe sharing it with me?" He asks and I frown not getting what he means.
"What do you mean?"
"I will take care of your heart darling, you do not have to worry because I can firmly admit to you that it's in a safe place and not even forgetting about its owner. I will cherish your heart with its owner, I will spend the rest of my life making sure that the two most treasures in my life are safe, comfortable, happy, and loved as they should be." I don't even think I still have a heart after hearing words like those.
It has surely melted away.
"I love you, Kai." I hear my lips say to him because I just realized if I didn't before now I do.
My heart is swelling, my body is full of butterflies from my toes to my chest.
"Can we do this when I have you in front of me?" He asks but I frown. "Do what?"
"Because I would love to have you in my arms and kiss your lips till you don't feel them. Kiss every inch, every part of your body. Show you with my actions the kind of love I have for you, darling." I have goosebumps rising on my body after hearing that.
"Samantha?" He calls when I don't say anything.
"Yes."
"I love you too darling, more than you will ever understand."
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