'I know my heart is not a house where I call it home, I call a home, I call it home. I call you home.'
"I can't believe this country looks like this!" Am in shock and it might cause me a heart attack because this place is amazing for sure,
This is what they truly call hidden beauty.
"Sav, I have to agree with you on that one but only because my dream team is on this one too." I roll my eyes at my young brother. His clumsiness never fades no matter how tall he grows.
"And why is that?" I ask sarcastically while faking interest in his stupid dream he had ever since he was a kid of playing in Arsenal, I don't even know what he sees in that team because it's not even like soccer is better than football.
"Arsenal advertises this country Sav. Remember the reel of them with the tag #visitRwanda that I showed you last year of the cool place they were advertising, it's this country man!" I roll my eyes not believing this.
"Whatever." I don't want to show him he is right because where would my pride be in that but sure of him, that reel he showed me and the place he is talking about if it's this country then it's wow! Unbelievable!
"Come on man. You are surprised too I can tell." I shrug my hand away from his that he put on top of mine over the table we are sitting on.
"I don't see how that interests me or worse benefits me in anything so No?" He chuckles and I glare at him while scoffing to myself.
"Oh tell me about that? Do you even have something that ever interests you?" 'Stupid kid' I curse him inwardly but I keep my glare on him.
"Mom?" I call out to my mother to help me on this one, seriously I can't tell what is wrong with the people of this family, they all confuse the hell out of me.
"Mom?!" I shake her and she jumps a little before Smiling at me.
"What baby?" I just stare at her unbelievably, Where is she?
"Mom, where are you? Did you even get how Yarrow just insulted me minutes ago?" She turns her head to look at Yarrow and I do the same for Yarrow to just blow each of us a kiss while smiling the hell at us which makes me makes me groan. 'He surely knows how to be a headache.'
"Mom, he just said that I have no interest in anything and you know what that makes me!? A robot! A fucking robot ma! That's what he just called me."
"Lilac Savannah language and you Yarrow, how many times did I tell you to stop calling names your sisters? They are your siblings. You guys should always support and be there for each other, not this bickering. Me and my father raised you to be better than that and I request you prove us right?"
I lean in my seat and frown my lips at my mom while glaring at Yarrow who purses his lips into a film line.
I pick my strawberry shake from the table and hold it in my hand to take a sip from it trying hard to disappear from this conversation because I hate it when mom starts preaching about being perfect. I always try my best to out-stand my siblings in my parent's eyes because am also the oldest but then, I never seem to get that. Always my sister finds herself in front of me except for birth.
A lot of other things she is always one step ahead, I don't want to be a hypocrite sister to her but sometimes I find myself hating how she pretends like she doesn't want things, just to kill to have it at the end.
I look at the translator, dad hired to take us around in the city and I smile to myself when I realize he can change the subject for us. "Dawson? Where will be going next?" The guy had engaged in his phone the moment we came to take lunch at this hotel that he brought us to for a little break from all the touring we had done so far.
We headed to the city and he took us to the shops of everything and showed us the best restaurants and every other eye-catching sight of the city, now I wonder what's next.
"I was thinking of this place that represents one of the most important historical events of this country which tells about the tragedy this country overcame a few years ago. We can stop there and you can learn more about this place, I advise you to visit the area." I turn to look at my mother for her to answer if we do it or not and she smiles.
"Am I the one calling the shots here?" She asks gesturing to herself and I groan not liking her playing dumb.
"Mom? Say something and of course, you are the one calling the shots. If not you then who is?" She nods.
"Okay look, I am not the only one calling shots here because we all are in this together so how about we do the voting for everything we will be doing?" I smile at that because it sounds fair to everyone.
"Let's vote then. Am up for anything that Dawson wants because he knows better of course." I turn to my mother and I smile at her.
"Me too."
"Me three." I roll my eyes at Yarrow, he surely knows how to annoy people and nothing else in this life.
"Dawson in this trip you are the one who calls the shot, we will be doing as you want. So let's go to that place that you suggested." My mother says to Dawson and he nods respectively at her.
"Okay then let's get going." We nod and we all stand up and head out of the hotel to the car that we are using.
We get in and Dawson takes the driver seat as he is the one driving, yarrow takes the passenger seat while I and mom take the back seat of the car.
"So before we go allow me to give you a brief talk about the place in case you want to change your mind." We nod while Mom urges him to keep talking.
"This country in 1994, overcame a war of Genocide against the Tutsi so the place I am taking you to, preserves that part of the history of this country. I am making sure that you know what we are going to see and learn, in case you want to change your mind." My mom turns to look at me and I nod at her with a sad smile and he does the same with Yarrow who also nods, finally, he turns to Dawson.
"We are good to go Dawson." He nods.
"Okay then, put on your seat belts."
We lean in our seats and we do as we are told to do so.
We hit the road and I put my attention on the streets, trying to imagine what took place in these same streets, same city, same country in 1994.
SAMANTHA LILY ADAMS.
"Shhh! You will be alright Sav. Stop crying I got you." She sniffles and cries more when I keep on saying that I got her. I don't even know the cause of all this.
I see no ending to her cry so I pull her in my arms too tight and I start humming to the song that Dad used to sing for us when we were kids and we would not stop crying.
🎶 you can let it go now, daddy,
You can let it go...
...Oh, I think I am ready
To do this on my own
...it still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I will be okay now, daddy
You can let go... 🎶
I repeat the song over and over again till the sound of sniffles comes to an end and the heavy breathing takes place. I slowly pull my sister away to not wake her up, when I realize she is finally asleep, I lay her down on the bed.
I tug her well in the bed then I tiptoe my way out to not make any sound. because I know how hard it was to get her to sleep.
"Wow! Can't say that am not impressed because I am." I rush to close the door to prevent the sound of the clapping that my brother is making from getting into the room where Savannah is sleeping and when I make it safely outside, I pull Yarrow by his hoodie and pull him downstairs with me.
"Shut up Yarrow. If you are impressed then you know how hard it was to get her to fall asleep so stop trying to wake her up." He raises his arms in the air and I groan.
Sometimes Yarrow annoys the living shit out of me that I feel like punching the shit out of him and I feel like right now won't be a bad time for it either, I stare at him contemplating if it will be worth dislocating his nose until my mother calls us.
"Guys? How is she?" I shake my head to get the weird thought that was running in there out of my mind walk to the living room and throw my tired body on the couch.
"She just fell asleep Mom. Anyway, what happened? How did she be like that?" My mother walks over to take a seat on the other couch beside the one I am sitting on while Simmons sits on the edge of the couch my mom is sitting on.
"We went to this place that preserves one of the history of this country and we got to learn about the Genocide that took place here in 1994 against the Tutsi. I don't even want to think about that myself because many horrible things Lily Samantha, terrible, terrifying, traumatic things happened and I don't know how it got to her but as we were being taught about the details she started crying. We took a pause and went outside for some fresh air but she wouldn't stop crying. We saw no end and decided to come home and here we are." I nod my head at my mother kind of understanding what is happening.
I guess from there I can make the other part on how it went. They came here and called my dad and he was busy on his first day and then called me to come home which I did and here I am too for my sister.
I sigh tiredly as I lean back in my seat, from all the cleaning and running around I did today in the offices. My muscles feel numb and sore or maybe it's the sports I did in the morning. But I don't even care about the cause, the thing is I feel tired in every inch of my body.
I excuse myself and walk upstairs, A thought of a nap is so inviting. I pass my sister's room and walk to mine but I find myself frowning at what am doing.
What if something happens to her sleeping or what if she has a nightmare alone, I pause my thoughts there and walk back into my sister's room. I tiptoe my way to her bed and get under the covers as quietly as I can.
I pull her to me slowly so as to not wake her up so we could cuddle and when I succeed on my mission. I close my eyes and allow my tired body to take a rest.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Sam, is this you?" I open my eyes slowly to find my sister hiding under the cover of the bed not even looking at me. I pull the cover and go under it too.
I slowly reach for her hands and try to free the hold they have on the duvet and hold them in mine.
I squeeze her hands a little. "Sav, it's me Samantha your twin sister. Look at me and don't worry we are fine." I say to her and I pull my hand away and move it to her cheek and when I do that she turns to look at me as we are still laying under the cover.
"Is it really you Sam? I am really scared!" I move closer to her and pull her in my arms. I start caressing her arms in a comforting way.
I keep on holding her and saying comforting words to her. "It's gonna be fine Sav. I got you." She pulls away from me and so the cover and sheets that were above us and leans on the headboard of her bed.
"Where were you then? Where were you when I got through that alone? You are my half part Sam I need you in everything." This makes me speechless.
I pull myself up too. To be on her eye level, "I know Sav and I am sorry." I say to her but she doesn't seem to care about what I say which leaves me smacking my lips wondering how I put my words. "Savannah that wasn't me abandoning you, I would never do that. Remember we are sisters for life and here I am no matter what you heard or saw or went through. It doesn't matter because at the end of everything I will always be here to face the end together. Come on now stop crying I got you." She looks away from me as she cries again.
I don't know how scary the things she learned about are, but I know that I need to stop her from crying this much.
I pull her to my chest and hold her for some time, I don't even know what time it is.
I silently groan because I am sure it's late and I didn't even finish my shift.
'Gosh, now what does Kai think of me? First I show up in his office in cleaning attire then I storm out like my body is on fire without doing what took me there and worse without saying anything to him apart from his name, his only fucking name.'
Am thinking of my doing when I hear Savannah start talking to me.
"Sam, we need to be glad that we got each other, we got yarrow and our parents."
"What?" It comes out as a shout to her because of how surprised it takes me.
"This country and its people went into a lot of suffering Sam, where a brother denied a brother, parents denied their children, friends denied their friends and so did families.
The country suffered badly and when we were being taught about it a thought came to me what would I do if you guys did that? What would happen if we denied one another? It scared me and then they kept on telling us about the past of this country, I kept picturing me, you, Simmons and our parents in that tragedy it filled my mind with fear and suddenly I panicked. What if Sam.....?"
"Shhhhhhhh! Nothing is happening Sav, shhhhh!" I pull her in my arms and she starts sneezing. I think it's from all the crying.
"Sorry, you had to go through that alone Sav. But we are not defined by our past or those of others. I got you and I love you and so does everyone in this family and we also know that you love us the same way. No matter what could happen Sav, it's always going to be me and you against the world. Remember that all the time." She pulls away from me and looks up at me in the eye and I catch a small smile tugging on her lips.
"Me and you against the world Sam, always." I smile at her and I pull her cheeks kindly to not hurt her.
"Hey, don't forget about me, it's us three against the world." We laugh at Yarrow who jumps on us and takes all of us in a three hug together.
We pull away and I send a glare over his way "When are you going to stop eavesdropping on other people's conversations?" He shrugs.
"You are not other people? Are you now? Because last time I checked you were in my team which was against the world together."
I stand up quickly with my hands in the air silently groaning at myself. "Am not doing this again with you Yarrow." I kiss Sav on the forehead and send a last comforting smile to her.
"Now own up to it girl because I need my sister back." I cheer her up as I shake her a little and She smiles weakly at me which makes me do it again.
I walk out of her room leaving Yarrow with her and go to look for my phone I don't even remember where I left it but I walk downstairs to check on my mom first.
The smell of something yummy fills my nostrils and I run in the kitchen. "Mom?" She turns to look at me as I take a seat on the kitchen stool.
"What Lily Samantha? How is your sister doing?" I make myself comfortable and I reach for an apple on the fruit basket.
"What happened to this country that shook her that much?"
"In 1994, as I mentioned earlier this country went through a genocide that was against the Tutsi, there was a massive killing of the Tutsi. We were learning about that history and suddenly your sister started breathing badly, they took her out as they said it happens to a lot of people because trust me, Sam, I too was on the verge of losing it because we were at this memorial place and it holds all the stories of what happened. Seeing the pictures of those that were killed and how they were killed, tools that were used, and being told about all the killing that took place. it's so sad that at some point you feel like you are in that time too."
"Mom, the food is burning." She turns around quickly closes the stove and moves the food away.
"Eeh, that was near." I nod my head and I stand up and walk closer to her.
"Mom, I don't know what you learned about today, or even do I have the slightest clue of what you went through, no I don't. But I know that the past is the past, and yes I don't love this country and I don't want to be here but the past can't stop you and Sav from feeling safe. What about the history of America; the war, conflicts the never-ending racism? We lived through some of that and here we are. Don't let something that took place in the past take over your future mom. I mean look at this place, full of peace and love. Let's make the most of it." I hug her and she hugs me back. I can feel the drop of tears fall on my back and I squeeze her to strengthen her.
We stay like that for a long till we hear someone clearing their throat. "Uuhhmm,"
"What is going on here?"I pull away from my mother and she smiles at me before muttering a silent thank you to me.
"I love you Lily Samantha and I am so proud of you?" I kiss her on the cheek with a smile on my face too. "I love you too mom."
"Uhm, What is this smell in here?" We look at my sister and then I and my mother share a knowing look between ourselves before laughing out loud.
"Am leaving guys. Excuse me?" I say to my mother because if I didn't get back to work, I might as well check in with my boss at least.
"And where do you think you are running to the young lady?" I stop to stare at Savannah. Who is blocking my way to not go anywhere?
"I need to do something real quick, I will be right back." She looks at me and I look at her hoping she drops because I don't want to lie to her face.
"It's nothing much Sav and I will be right back because if you think you are going to eat what mom cooked alone, then hon you got it wrong." She winks and she moves out of my way.
"If there is food you may leave then!" I shake my head but I still make my way out of the kitchen.
In this family, to women food is first and other things come later. I walk to the living room to look for my phone which is also surprising to me that I am prioritizing the cleaning work over food I can hear laughs and teasing coming from the kitchen but I ignore them.
I found it in my bag that I left on the floor when I came in rushing to get to my sister.
I pick it up and I start making my way upstairs away from the sound of my family while calling the new number that I saved in my phone. As every ring, rings in my ear, it makes my heart skip a beat.
There are missed calls from an unknown number but I know it's the manager of the cleaning crew, maybe word got to him that I left work early without finishing my duty even.
'God have mercy because I don't want to be screwed.'
I dial the phone and on a few rings the owner answers.
"Hello."
"Hello, Samantha right?"
I sigh before composing myself and answer. "Yes sir?"
"Do you have what to explain to yourself for leaving work without checking out and leaving the equipment in wherever place pleases you?" 'Dang the cleaning equipment, I left them in Kai's office.'
"Am sorry sir," I say and there is a pause on the other side of the call, I just hope he is not thinking of firing me. I know what I did was reckless but I deserve a second chance.
"Samantha?"
"Yes sir." 'Please do not fire me, have mercy on dear God and baby Jesus, and spare my mistake.'
"Am letting what you did today slide because it was your first day but there won't be a next time." He says and I breathe a relief sigh.
"Report to Mr Trenton Royal's office tomorrow, he wants to talk to you."
"Yes sir, Than…." I don't get to finish my thank you but it's okay.
The worst it would have become was him firing me, but him telling me to report to Trenton whatever, that's fine by me.
So I forgive him for hanging on me when I was about to thank him for his generosity.
I put my phone on my nightstand and leave it there as I make my way downstairs to join my family in the dining room.
My dad is already home and I find them laughing over something. I walk to my dad and kiss him on the cheek before taking my seat on his left, there is already a plate made for me of pasta, and looking at it am reminded that the last time I had something for my tummy was in the morning.
I dig in my food as we hear Yarrow tease my mother and Savannah about the trip they had today.
We finish eating and we hang in the living room for some time before we call it a day.
As the night keeps on growing, we get tired and we say our goodnight to one another as each makes their way separately to their respective rooms.
Am lying in my body when I jerk up in a sitting position when I realize something.
'Report to Mr Trenton Royal's office tomorrow, he wants to talk to you.'
I remember those words and my heart skips a beat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love u all!
Stay safe and lively.